Patience

Patience

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

15 Mar 2003, 14:24 #1

Our society we live in today ranges from instant breakfasts and beyond. Then gives way to instant messages being transmitted around the globe in less than seconds. We have become a society that demands everything to be fast and easy. For the most part this is a good possitive technological advancement. It should give us more time to pursue our goals and happiness as we journey through life.
On the downside we are becoming a world of "I want it now." The same holds true with many nicotine addicts on the road to recovery or wanting to quit smoking and stop feeding their addiction. Many search for the easy way out. Others don't understand why comfort takes time to happen. Perhaps, to many of us have not had to struggle for much in our lives. Everything has come to us far too easy! We expect to dance without paying the fiddler. There is no free lunch that is worth while. For us addicts seeking comfort, the price of the fiddler is payed in........
Patience
So just what is patience? It is many things combined to form one thing. It is an elusive virtue we all have within ourselves but never learn how to use it or just simply don't want to learn how to harness it.
Patience is the ability to:
Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension or frustration.
Let go of your need or demand for instant gratification.
Believe in the concepts of permanence and comittment.
The ability to maintain your calmness and consideration as you handle your growth issues one at a time.
Hang on to your quit when unexpected trouble arrises that may take 3 or 4 minutes to allow a crave or trigger to pass.
Accept the non-enthusiastic reception of others to share in your new found truths you have learned at Freedom.
See that overnight reformations are rarely long lasting in the begining and that gradual change and growth have a greater lasting durability.
Accept the universal truth that your quit, like life itself, is a journey not an instant destination.
_______________________________________
Moving on to the other side of the coin, there are negative impacts with being impatient.
By being impatient you can:
Waste your energy worrying aboout how slow things are changing instead of directing that energy towards the changes you desire.
Ignore all the possitive gains accomplished on your road to your freedom, recovery and growth, allowing you to only concentrate on what you have not yet recieved or accomplished.
Become pessimistic about your quit seeing only the "half empty cup" rather the "half filled cup."
Become overwhelmed by your slower than anticipated progress and begin to lose the hope and motivation to keep on trying.
________________________________
A person can increase the level of their patience by doing the following.
Pursue your quit one day at a time. Take baby steps.
Consider each day a gift of life that will allow you one step closer to your goal of being a comfortable x-smoker.
Confront your fears about attaining your goal. Remember the world was not created in a day. Beautiful symphonies, works of art, literary masterpieces and your control of your addiction will not be created in a day.
Remember a lifetime is not lived in a day or week or month. It is a journey we should savor one day at a time.
Always look for tomorrow to be the first day of the rest of your life.
It is very important to realize to successfully quit smoking and gain control over your addiciton you don't need an immeasurable amount of patience or an impeccable possitive attitude. These personal traits will develop as your quit progresses. All you need is a desire to quit and a set time to do it. Once you have decided on the two, place them in motion, all you ever have to do to remain nicotine free is never violate the Law of Addiction....Never Take Another Puff!
Roger
Freedom's Gold Club
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

15 Mar 2003, 14:44 #2

Sweet post Rog.

I found that the biggest aid to patience, especially early in my quit, was the One Day at a Time focus. I held that concept very close. Any time I felt myself getting impatient with my progress, I'd remind myself.... Just for today. Today is a victory all by itself. Forget the stuff beyond. Just focus on today. I can go to sleep tonight nicotine free, and I can take great pride in myself for that accomplishment. It's more than I could say when I was a smoker. Focusing on the here and now... That's what leads to the bright future, and the satisfaction with the past.

Glad I tuned in tonight.

YQB,

Bob (14 months)
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:29

15 Mar 2003, 17:31 #3

Yes Roger, I second O'Bob's comments about a 'sweet' posting. Sweet, in that it is nurturing; a considered, relevant and inspirational posting worthy of reflection and application. Thanks for it.
yqs Barb
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:08

15 Mar 2003, 20:32 #4

Thanks Roger - insightful as usual.
Tulip 6 months 4 days
Last edited by Tulip GOLD on 14 Oct 2009, 11:58, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 16 Jan 2003, 08:00

15 Mar 2003, 22:46 #5

 Thank you Roger!

Between your insightful and well written piece and the one that Harpo wrote Graditude ....well, wow.
What a place this is.
I am so grateful to have you and many others on the path in front of me. 

Sal
Two months, three days, 7 hours, 48 minutes and 23 seconds!
Last edited by Sal GOLD.ffn on 02 May 2013, 10:58, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

15 Mar 2003, 23:52 #6

Dream as every addict does, there is absolutely no way around nicotine's two-hour chemical half-life. As chemically dependent nicotine humans, thousands upon thousands of times our minds reminded us that our sagging blood serum nicotine level was again in need of replenishment. Talk about conditioned impatience. Relief from those early urge commands was extremely fast and always dependable (unless our delivery tools were wet or broken - but even then we'd find a way).

Within 8 to 10 seconds of that first puff of nicotine our brain reward pathway neurons would sense its arrival and our urge would be instantly replaced with that addict's dopamine "aaah" sensation. I'm told that that is twice as fast the "aaah" feeling sensed by the heroin addict, whose mainstream injection must first flow back to the heart then over to their lungs then back through the heart's second pumping chamber before being pumped up into their brain. Is it any wonder that as nicotine smokers we each developed a tremendous sense of conditioned impatience when it came to dealing not only with our addiction but our recovery it?

We encourage all new arrivals to abandon the wasteful dream and vision of measuring success only in terms of quitting forever, as in keeping such a standard you deprive yourself of celebration until after you're dead and gone. A one-day-at-a- time baby-steps approach not only allows us to intelligently counter years and years of conditioned impatience, it encourages us to look upon each and every challenge overcome and each day of freedom and healing as the full and complete victory each reflects.

I don't know if I'll be permitted even one brief moment of cessation pride after my death but I do know that being free during the moments that it took to type these words are entirely worthy of celebration!

While dependent, my mind didn't wait until the end of this life to sense one big aaah. Then why should I? Why not celebrate this second, minute and hour, and allow that pride to fuel the patience needed to celebrate the next! There was always only one rule ... no nicotine just one hour, challenge and day at a time!

Breathe deep, hug hard, live long,

John (Gold)
Last edited by John (Gold) on 22 Jul 2009, 02:26, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

17 Mar 2003, 21:11 #7

Roger, as usual I read your words and experience them as a gift. What an important message. Developing comfort is simply a matter of time. For me, going back and reading old posts helped me gain a sense of perspective which helped me be more patient with my progress. Reading about how the bronzes and silvers and golds had done some struggling in the early days let me know that I was not unusual so I couldn't use my specialness as an excuse for relapse!

(Bedrock truth learned here at Freedom: there is no excuse for relapse!)

Give time time. I used to say to myself: "look you smoked for 32 years, don't you think you can give this quit another day and see how you feel?" I am deeply grateful that I waited to see how the next day would feel. Because here I sit at 283 days feeling very comfortable and proud of myself and free......

Thank you, Roger.

Parker
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:02

02 Apr 2003, 21:40 #8

Roger -

I just wanted to say that I have read this many times and it is a beautiful piece of insight. It is one that I will print and keep.

I think we here at Freedom--ADDICTS--probably have a hard time with patience in many areas of life. This can be applied to many things…especially the day to day happenings in the journey of quitting.

I absolutely love what you have written about patience…and I wanted to throw out a sincere thanks.

CF

1 month, 1 week, 5 days without a single puff
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

03 Apr 2003, 09:38 #9

Roger - one of our true guiding lights. For Tubes - on your double greening. For everyone at Freedom!

Georgia
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

03 Apr 2003, 13:24 #10

For Pants as you search for Smoother Sailing...

YQS
Ms. Mona
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 18:56

05 May 2003, 10:07 #11

Learning patience in our world is tough. It's hard for us ex-smokers especially. We were used to just stuffing those irritaing things in life, those things that scraed us or brought us joy. If afraid or anxious, we learned to run to our "friend" for instant relief.

As we all know, we were only putting off the inevidable. We still had to go back & face that situation. Now, we have to learn to face those situations head on, without nicotine. And be careful, not to replace it with something else. We are forced to find new (healthy) ways of dealing with things and are finding out new things about ourselves. Everytime I face a difficult "trigger" & get past it, I'm amazed & so glad I understand not to EVER take another puff!

You can think & cope and do it better without nicotine!! I love it, I feel more in control & hopeful than I have for a long time. I have plans for a better life!

Thank you Roger. Linda
1 week, 6 days
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

20 May 2003, 08:47 #12


If this temporary period of re-adjustment called quitting were soooooo "easy" then why will an estimated five million of our brothers and sisters lose their lives to their dependency this year? Conditioned by years of quick replenishments, we each developed expectations of rapidly satisfying urges and craves. How many will lose their lives this year because they convinced themselves that the only permanent solution, recovery, was taking too long?

Developing the patience needed to allow our healing to transport us home is critical. But why worry about next month, next week or even tomorrow when all we can control is here and now? The next few minutes are all that matter and each is entirely do-able! Yes you can!
.
Baby steps, patience, just one hour, challenge and day at a time!

There's no place like home!
Last edited by John (Gold) on 22 Jul 2009, 02:41, edited 2 times in total.
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:06

28 May 2003, 03:10 #13


I just love this thread so much. Not only is it on the mark as far as quits are concerned, this stuff applies to other aspects of daily life too.

Jill
Kicking Butt for 7 Months 3 Weeks 1 Day.
Last edited by smokefreeJD Gold on 22 Jul 2009, 02:42, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

30 Jun 2003, 10:36 #14




Relax! It's going to be ok!
It may feel like things are standing still.
But the rose bud is still opening, we promise!!
Last edited by John (Gold) on 22 Jul 2009, 02:52, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

11 Sep 2003, 20:00 #15

Joel's Reinforcement Library


"Take it ONE DAY AT A TIME"



This concept is taught by almost all programs which are devoted to dealing with substance abuse or emotional conflict of any kind. The reason that it is so often quoted is that it is universally applicable to almost any traumatic situation.

Dealing with quitting smoking is no exception. Along with NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!, ONE DAY AT A TIME is the key technique which gives the smoker the strength to successfully quit smoking and stay free from the powerful grip of nicotine dependence.

When first quitting, the concept of ONE DAY AT A TIME is clearly superior to the smoker thinking that he will never smoke again for the rest of his life. For when the smoker is first giving up smoking, he does not know whether or not he wants to go the rest of his life without smoking. Most of the time the smoker envisions life as a non-smoker as more stressful, painful, and less fun.

It is not until he quits smoking that he realizes his prior thoughts of what life is like as a non-smoker were wrong. Once he quits he realizes that there is life after smoking. It is a cleaner, calmer, fuller and, most important, healthier life. Now the thought of returning to smoking becomes a repulsive concept. Even though the fears have reversed, the ONE DAY AT A TIME technique should still be maintained.

Now, as an ex-smoker, he still has bad moments every now and then. Sometimes due to stress at home or work, or pleasant social situations, or to some other undefinable trigger situation, the desire for a cigarette surfaces. All he needs to do is say to himself, I won't smoke for the rest of today; tomorrow I will worry about tomorrow. The urge will be over in seconds, and the next day he probably won't even think of a cigarette.

But ONE DAY AT A TIME should not only be practiced when an urge is present. It should be practiced daily. Sometimes an ex-smoker thinks it is no longer important to think in these terms. He goes on with the idea he will not smoke again for the rest of his life. Assuming he is correct, when does he pat himself on the back for achieving his goal. When he is lying on his death bed he can enthusiastically proclaim, "I never smoked again." What a great time for positive reinforcement.

Every day the ex-smoker should wake up thinking that he is not going to smoke that day. And every night before he goes to sleep he should congratulate himself for sticking to his goal. Because pride is important in staying free from cigarettes. Not only is it important, but it is well deserved. For anyone who has quit smoking has broken free from a very powerful addiction. For the first time in years, he has gained control over his life, rather than being controlled by his cigarette. For this, he should be proud.

So tonight, when you go to sleep, pat yourself on the back and say, "Another day without smoking, I feel great." And tomorrow when you wake up, say, "I am going to try for another day. Tomorrow I will deal with tomorrow." To successfully stay free from smoking, TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME and - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

Joel
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

25 Oct 2003, 12:39 #16

Success Is A Journey, Not A Destination.

As with any journey we begin by placing one foot in front of the other.
Pause for a while and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Smell the roses and and enjoy the beauty of your journey

A healing journey of mind and body.
Focus on how far you have come is such a short period of time not on how far you think you have to travel yet.

We all posess patience within us.......it is just a matter of practice.
One Day At A Time You Can If You Think You Can
Roger
Last edited by Roger (Gold) on 22 Jul 2009, 02:46, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 18:56

22 Nov 2003, 20:56 #17

Excellent! I'm so glad I found this thread...it was just what I needed.

Free & Healin' for 1 Week, 1 Day, 21 Hours & 25 Minutes.
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Joined: 16 Jan 2003, 08:00

04 Dec 2003, 10:36 #18

From Roger's great post:
Patience is the ability to:
Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension or frustration.
Let go of your need or demand for instant gratification.
Believe in the concepts of permanence and comittment.
The ability to maintain your calmness and consideration as you handle your growth issues one at a time.
Hang on to your quit when unexpected trouble arrises that may take 3 or 4 minutes to allow a crave or trigger to pass.
Accept the non-enthusiastic reception of others to share in your new found truths you have learned at Freedom.
See that overnight reformations are rarely long lasting in the begining and that gradual change and growth have a greater lasting durability.
Accept the universal truth that your quit, like life itself, is a journey not an instant destination.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

05 Dec 2003, 08:23 #19

Thanks for putting this thread out there! It is so true for me especially. I can be the world's most impatient person at times. I wanted the benefits of 3 years quit BEFORE I TOOK MY LAST PUFF!!!! This just shows you how crazy our thinking can get sometimes.

Thanks for reminding us to take things one day at a time and to be patient, things will happen in due time when they are supposed to. The best thing I can do right now if I want 3 years of quit is to never take another puff day by day.

David Three weeks, six days, 10 hours, 24 minutes and 12 seconds. 493 cigarettes not smoked, saving $37.03. Life saved: 1 day, 17 hours, 5 minutes.
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 18:56

13 Dec 2003, 08:38 #20

PATIENCE

Thankyou Roger for some wonderful thoughts!

Somebody said in this thread:

" I wanted the benefits of 3 years quit BEFORE I TOOK MY LAST PUFF!!!!"

For me at least imagination is the energy that feeds my patience! Keep imagining, keep Never Taking Another Puff!

DAVID -Free and Healing for One Month, Eleven Days, 23 Hours and 57 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 4 Days and 8 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1260 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me £94.66.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

24 Dec 2003, 20:41 #21



Allow Impatience to Meet Patience


Last edited by John (Gold) on 22 Jul 2009, 02:55, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:33

28 Jan 2004, 01:34 #22

Hi Roger!
This is one of my favorite threads. It is so very true.
Every one have a great day and enjoy this wonderful journey we are on!
Laurie
I have chosen not to smoke for 3 Weeks 5 Days 9 Hours 37 Minutes 28 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 844. Money saved: $105.60.
Last edited by wackylaurie on 22 Jul 2009, 02:57, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

03 Feb 2004, 09:31 #23

Very well put.
Last edited by dancebear37 on 22 Jul 2009, 02:58, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:33

27 Mar 2004, 00:42 #24

what an excellent post, just what this smurf needs to hear right now, thanks roger............golden wisdom
Last edited by smurfetteirl on 22 Jul 2009, 03:01, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

11 Apr 2004, 13:18 #25

Many equate patience to a long term solution. For the addict in withdrawal or in the middle of a temporary period of adjustment we term "quitting", Patience can and should be measured in smaller increments. We know you have the patience to manage your next 3 -5 minute crave episode.
One Crave At A Time
Last edited by Roger (Gold) on 22 Jul 2009, 03:01, edited 1 time in total.
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