Roger (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

15 Mar 2003, 14:24 #1

Our society we live in today ranges from instant breakfasts and beyond. Then gives way to instant messages being transmitted around the globe in less than seconds. We have become a society that demands everything to be fast and easy. For the most part this is a good possitive technological advancement. It should give us more time to pursue our goals and happiness as we journey through life.
On the downside we are becoming a world of "I want it now." The same holds true with many nicotine addicts on the road to recovery or wanting to quit smoking and stop feeding their addiction. Many search for the easy way out. Others don't understand why comfort takes time to happen. Perhaps, to many of us have not had to struggle for much in our lives. Everything has come to us far too easy! We expect to dance without paying the fiddler. There is no free lunch that is worth while. For us addicts seeking comfort, the price of the fiddler is payed in........
So just what is patience? It is many things combined to form one thing. It is an elusive virtue we all have within ourselves but never learn how to use it or just simply don't want to learn how to harness it.
Patience is the ability to:
Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension or frustration.
Let go of your need or demand for instant gratification.
Believe in the concepts of permanence and comittment.
The ability to maintain your calmness and consideration as you handle your growth issues one at a time.
Hang on to your quit when unexpected trouble arrises that may take 3 or 4 minutes to allow a crave or trigger to pass.
Accept the non-enthusiastic reception of others to share in your new found truths you have learned at Freedom.
See that overnight reformations are rarely long lasting in the begining and that gradual change and growth have a greater lasting durability.
Accept the universal truth that your quit, like life itself, is a journey not an instant destination.
Moving on to the other side of the coin, there are negative impacts with being impatient.
By being impatient you can:
Waste your energy worrying aboout how slow things are changing instead of directing that energy towards the changes you desire.
Ignore all the possitive gains accomplished on your road to your freedom, recovery and growth, allowing you to only concentrate on what you have not yet recieved or accomplished.
Become pessimistic about your quit seeing only the "half empty cup" rather the "half filled cup."
Become overwhelmed by your slower than anticipated progress and begin to lose the hope and motivation to keep on trying.
A person can increase the level of their patience by doing the following.
Pursue your quit one day at a time. Take baby steps.
Consider each day a gift of life that will allow you one step closer to your goal of being a comfortable x-smoker.
Confront your fears about attaining your goal. Remember the world was not created in a day. Beautiful symphonies, works of art, literary masterpieces and your control of your addiction will not be created in a day.
Remember a lifetime is not lived in a day or week or month. It is a journey we should savor one day at a time.
Always look for tomorrow to be the first day of the rest of your life.
It is very important to realize to successfully quit smoking and gain control over your addiciton you don't need an immeasurable amount of patience or an impeccable possitive attitude. These personal traits will develop as your quit progresses. All you need is a desire to quit and a set time to do it. Once you have decided on the two, place them in motion, all you ever have to do to remain nicotine free is never violate the Law of Addiction....Never Take Another Puff!
Freedom's Gold Club

OBob Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

15 Mar 2003, 14:44 #2

Sweet post Rog.

I found that the biggest aid to patience, especially early in my quit, was the One Day at a Time focus. I held that concept very close. Any time I felt myself getting impatient with my progress, I'd remind myself.... Just for today. Today is a victory all by itself. Forget the stuff beyond. Just focus on today. I can go to sleep tonight nicotine free, and I can take great pride in myself for that accomplishment. It's more than I could say when I was a smoker. Focusing on the here and now... That's what leads to the bright future, and the satisfaction with the past.

Glad I tuned in tonight.


ImageBob (14 months)

Kiwi (Gone GOLD )
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:29

15 Mar 2003, 17:31 #3

Yes Roger, I second O'Bob's comments about a 'sweet' posting. Sweet, in that it is nurturing; a considered, relevant and inspirational posting worthy of reflection and application. Thanks for it.
yqs Barb

Tulip GOLD
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:08

15 Mar 2003, 20:32 #4

ImageImageImage Thanks Roger - insightful as usual.
Tulip 6 months 4 days Image
Last edited by Tulip GOLD on 14 Oct 2009, 11:58, edited 1 time in total.

Sal GOLD.ffn
Joined: 16 Jan 2003, 08:00

15 Mar 2003, 22:46 #5

Image Thank you Roger!

Between your insightful and well written piece and the one that Harpo wrote Graditude ....well, wow.
What a place this is. Image
I am so grateful to have you and many others on the path in front of me.Image 

Two months, three days, 7 hours, 48 minutes and 23 seconds!
Last edited by Sal GOLD.ffn on 02 May 2013, 10:58, edited 1 time in total.

John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

15 Mar 2003, 23:52 #6

Dream as every addict does, there is absolutely no way around nicotine's two-hour chemical half-life. As chemically dependent nicotine humans, thousands upon thousands of times our minds reminded us that our sagging blood serum nicotine level was again in need of replenishment. Talk about conditioned impatience. Relief from those early urge commands was extremely fast and always dependable (unless our delivery tools were wet or broken - but even then we'd find a way).

Within 8 to 10 seconds of that first puff of nicotine our brain reward pathway neurons would sense its arrival and our urge would be instantly replaced with that addict's dopamine "aaah" sensation. I'm told that that is twice as fast the "aaah" feeling sensed by the heroin addict, whose mainstream injection must first flow back to the heart then over to their lungs then back through the heart's second pumping chamber before being pumped up into their brain. Is it any wonder that as nicotine smokers we each developed a tremendous sense of conditioned impatience when it came to dealing not only with our addiction but our recovery it?

We encourage all new arrivals to abandon the wasteful dream and vision of measuring success only in terms of quitting forever, as in keeping such a standard you deprive yourself of celebration until after you're dead and gone. A one-day-at-a- time baby-steps approach not only allows us to intelligently counter years and years of conditioned impatience, it encourages us to look upon each and every challenge overcome and each day of freedom and healing as the full and complete victory each reflects.

I don't know if I'll be permitted even one brief moment of cessation pride after my death but I do know that being free during the moments that it took to type these words are entirely worthy of celebration!

While dependent, my mind didn't wait until the end of this life to sense one big aaah. Then why should I? Why not celebrate this second, minute and hour, and allow that pride to fuel the patience needed to celebrate the next! There was always only one rule ... no nicotine just one hour, challenge and day at a time!

Breathe deep, hug hard, live long,

John (Gold)
Last edited by John (Gold) on 22 Jul 2009, 02:26, edited 1 time in total.

Parker GOLD
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

17 Mar 2003, 21:11 #7

Roger, as usual I read your words and experience them as a gift. What an important message. Developing comfort is simply a matter of time. For me, going back and reading old posts helped me gain a sense of perspective which helped me be more patient with my progress. Reading about how the bronzes and silvers and golds had done some struggling in the early days let me know that I was not unusual so I couldn't use my specialness as an excuse for relapse! Image

(Bedrock truth learned here at Freedom: there is no excuse for relapse!)

Give time time. I used to say to myself: "look you smoked for 32 years, don't you think you can give this quit another day and see how you feel?" I am deeply grateful that I waited to see how the next day would feel. Because here I sit at 283 days feeling very comfortable and proud of myself and free......

Thank you, Roger.


ComicForces GOLD
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:02

02 Apr 2003, 21:40 #8

Roger -

I just wanted to say that I have read this many times and it is a beautiful piece of insight. It is one that I will print and keep.

I think we here at Freedom--ADDICTS--probably have a hard time with patience in many areas of life. This can be applied to many things…especially the day to day happenings in the journey of quitting.

I absolutely love what you have written about patience…and I wanted to throw out a sincere thanks.


1 month, 1 week, 5 days without a single puff

GeorgieGirl GOLD
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

03 Apr 2003, 09:38 #9

Image Roger - one of our true guiding lights. For Tubes - on your double greening. For everyone at Freedom!


Ms MonaGolden1
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

03 Apr 2003, 13:24 #10

For Pants as you search for Smoother Sailing...Image

Ms. Mona