Patience

adnil
adnil

May 5th, 2003, 10:07 am #11

Learning patience in our world is tough. It's hard for us ex-smokers especially. We were used to just stuffing those irritaing things in life, those things that scraed us or brought us joy. If afraid or anxious, we learned to run to our "friend" for instant relief.

As we all know, we were only putting off the inevidable. We still had to go back & face that situation. Now, we have to learn to face those situations head on, without nicotine. And be careful, not to replace it with something else. We are forced to find new (healthy) ways of dealing with things and are finding out new things about ourselves. Everytime I face a difficult "trigger" & get past it, I'm amazed & so glad I understand not to EVER take another puff!

You can think & cope and do it better without nicotine!! I love it, I feel more in control & hopeful than I have for a long time. I have plans for a better life!

Thank you Roger. Linda
1 week, 6 days
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

May 20th, 2003, 8:47 am #12


If this temporary period of re-adjustment called quitting were soooooo "easy" then why will an estimated five million of our brothers and sisters lose their lives to their dependency this year? Conditioned by years of quick replenishments, we each developed expectations of rapidly satisfying urges and craves. How many will lose their lives this year because they convinced themselves that the only permanent solution, recovery, was taking too long?

Developing the patience needed to allow our healing to transport us home is critical. But why worry about next month, next week or even tomorrow when all we can control is here and now? The next few minutes are all that matter and each is entirely do-able! Yes you can!
.
Baby steps, patience, just one hour, challenge and day at a time!

There's no place like home!
Last edited by John (Gold) on July 22nd, 2009, 2:41 am, edited 2 times in total.
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smokefreeJD Gold
smokefreeJD Gold

May 28th, 2003, 3:10 am #13


I just love this thread so much. Not only is it on the mark as far as quits are concerned, this stuff applies to other aspects of daily life too.

Jill
Kicking Butt for 7 Months 3 Weeks 1 Day.
Last edited by smokefreeJD Gold on July 22nd, 2009, 2:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

June 30th, 2003, 10:36 am #14




Relax! It's going to be ok!
It may feel like things are standing still.
But the rose bud is still opening, we promise!!
Last edited by John (Gold) on July 22nd, 2009, 2:52 am, edited 1 time in total.
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

September 11th, 2003, 8:00 pm #15

Joel's Reinforcement Library


"Take it ONE DAY AT A TIME"



This concept is taught by almost all programs which are devoted to dealing with substance abuse or emotional conflict of any kind. The reason that it is so often quoted is that it is universally applicable to almost any traumatic situation.

Dealing with quitting smoking is no exception. Along with NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!, ONE DAY AT A TIME is the key technique which gives the smoker the strength to successfully quit smoking and stay free from the powerful grip of nicotine dependence.

When first quitting, the concept of ONE DAY AT A TIME is clearly superior to the smoker thinking that he will never smoke again for the rest of his life. For when the smoker is first giving up smoking, he does not know whether or not he wants to go the rest of his life without smoking. Most of the time the smoker envisions life as a non-smoker as more stressful, painful, and less fun.

It is not until he quits smoking that he realizes his prior thoughts of what life is like as a non-smoker were wrong. Once he quits he realizes that there is life after smoking. It is a cleaner, calmer, fuller and, most important, healthier life. Now the thought of returning to smoking becomes a repulsive concept. Even though the fears have reversed, the ONE DAY AT A TIME technique should still be maintained.

Now, as an ex-smoker, he still has bad moments every now and then. Sometimes due to stress at home or work, or pleasant social situations, or to some other undefinable trigger situation, the desire for a cigarette surfaces. All he needs to do is say to himself, I won't smoke for the rest of today; tomorrow I will worry about tomorrow. The urge will be over in seconds, and the next day he probably won't even think of a cigarette.

But ONE DAY AT A TIME should not only be practiced when an urge is present. It should be practiced daily. Sometimes an ex-smoker thinks it is no longer important to think in these terms. He goes on with the idea he will not smoke again for the rest of his life. Assuming he is correct, when does he pat himself on the back for achieving his goal. When he is lying on his death bed he can enthusiastically proclaim, "I never smoked again." What a great time for positive reinforcement.

Every day the ex-smoker should wake up thinking that he is not going to smoke that day. And every night before he goes to sleep he should congratulate himself for sticking to his goal. Because pride is important in staying free from cigarettes. Not only is it important, but it is well deserved. For anyone who has quit smoking has broken free from a very powerful addiction. For the first time in years, he has gained control over his life, rather than being controlled by his cigarette. For this, he should be proud.

So tonight, when you go to sleep, pat yourself on the back and say, "Another day without smoking, I feel great." And tomorrow when you wake up, say, "I am going to try for another day. Tomorrow I will deal with tomorrow." To successfully stay free from smoking, TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME and - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

Joel
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Roger (Gold)
Roger (Gold)

October 25th, 2003, 12:39 pm #16

Success Is A Journey, Not A Destination.

As with any journey we begin by placing one foot in front of the other.
Pause for a while and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Smell the roses and and enjoy the beauty of your journey

A healing journey of mind and body.
Focus on how far you have come is such a short period of time not on how far you think you have to travel yet.

We all posess patience within us.......it is just a matter of practice.
One Day At A Time You Can If You Think You Can
Roger
Last edited by Roger (Gold) on July 22nd, 2009, 2:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
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BarbaraT 1113
BarbaraT 1113

November 22nd, 2003, 8:56 pm #17

Excellent! I'm so glad I found this thread...it was just what I needed.

Free & Healin' for 1 Week, 1 Day, 21 Hours & 25 Minutes.
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Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

December 4th, 2003, 10:36 am #18

From Roger's great post:
Patience is the ability to:
Sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension or frustration.
Let go of your need or demand for instant gratification.
Believe in the concepts of permanence and comittment.
The ability to maintain your calmness and consideration as you handle your growth issues one at a time.
Hang on to your quit when unexpected trouble arrises that may take 3 or 4 minutes to allow a crave or trigger to pass.
Accept the non-enthusiastic reception of others to share in your new found truths you have learned at Freedom.
See that overnight reformations are rarely long lasting in the begining and that gradual change and growth have a greater lasting durability.
Accept the universal truth that your quit, like life itself, is a journey not an instant destination.
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DlunyGOLD
DlunyGOLD

December 5th, 2003, 8:23 am #19

Thanks for putting this thread out there! It is so true for me especially. I can be the world's most impatient person at times. I wanted the benefits of 3 years quit BEFORE I TOOK MY LAST PUFF!!!! This just shows you how crazy our thinking can get sometimes.

Thanks for reminding us to take things one day at a time and to be patient, things will happen in due time when they are supposed to. The best thing I can do right now if I want 3 years of quit is to never take another puff day by day.

David Three weeks, six days, 10 hours, 24 minutes and 12 seconds. 493 cigarettes not smoked, saving $37.03. Life saved: 1 day, 17 hours, 5 minutes.
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davesaddiction2003
davesaddiction2003

December 13th, 2003, 8:38 am #20

PATIENCE

Thankyou Roger for some wonderful thoughts!

Somebody said in this thread:

" I wanted the benefits of 3 years quit BEFORE I TOOK MY LAST PUFF!!!!"

For me at least imagination is the energy that feeds my patience! Keep imagining, keep Never Taking Another Puff!

DAVID -Free and Healing for One Month, Eleven Days, 23 Hours and 57 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 4 Days and 8 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1260 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me £94.66.
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

December 24th, 2003, 8:41 pm #21



Allow Impatience to Meet Patience


Last edited by John (Gold) on July 22nd, 2009, 2:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
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wackylaurie
wackylaurie

January 28th, 2004, 1:34 am #22

Hi Roger!
This is one of my favorite threads. It is so very true.
Every one have a great day and enjoy this wonderful journey we are on!
Laurie
I have chosen not to smoke for 3 Weeks 5 Days 9 Hours 37 Minutes 28 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 844. Money saved: $105.60.
Last edited by wackylaurie on July 22nd, 2009, 2:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
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dancebear37
dancebear37

February 3rd, 2004, 9:31 am #23

Very well put.
Last edited by dancebear37 on July 22nd, 2009, 2:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
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smurfetteirl
smurfetteirl

March 27th, 2004, 12:42 am #24

what an excellent post, just what this smurf needs to hear right now, thanks roger............golden wisdom
Last edited by smurfetteirl on July 22nd, 2009, 3:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Roger (Gold)
Roger (Gold)

April 11th, 2004, 1:18 pm #25

Many equate patience to a long term solution. For the addict in withdrawal or in the middle of a temporary period of adjustment we term "quitting", Patience can and should be measured in smaller increments. We know you have the patience to manage your next 3 -5 minute crave episode.
One Crave At A Time
Last edited by Roger (Gold) on July 22nd, 2009, 3:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Kellangel
Kellangel

May 1st, 2004, 5:29 am #26

What a wonderful thread!

Thank you so much roger from a newbie.
Last edited by Kellangel on July 22nd, 2009, 3:03 am, edited 1 time in total.
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

June 8th, 2004, 1:27 am #27

Baby steps, patience, just one day at a time!

There's no place like home!
Last edited by John (Gold) on July 22nd, 2009, 3:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Parker GOLD
Parker GOLD

June 12th, 2004, 2:42 am #28

Dear Newbies, 5 days or 10 days or even 20 days into your quit is not how it will always feel. Be patient with the process. Read, read, read. Everything you are experiencing has been felt here before. You will begin to feel comfortable in your own skin. Your days and routines will normalize. Give it time. I promise comfort will come.


Parker - 2 years
Last edited by Parker GOLD on July 22nd, 2009, 3:06 am, edited 1 time in total.
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AidaSaba1
AidaSaba1

July 30th, 2004, 6:52 am #29

You give us hope. Thank you. I am determined never to take another puff for as long as I live. But, I have also resigned to the fact that perhaps I will struggle my addiction to nicotine for the rest of my life. At least this is how i feel . I must confess that I do miss having a cigarette with a glass of wine. It was a wonderful combination. I miss that every day. Not one day passes since my quit where I did not have to go jogging or call somebody over the telephone, or simply clean my kitchen floor like a maniac, in order to discard of that "missing" my "end-of-the-day" smoking a few cigarettes with a nice glass of wine.
I don't even call it an urge, it is really more like "I miss that time".

I have printed your post and have posted it on the wall in my office. Everytime I "miss" having a cigarette at the end of the day, I read it over and over again. Thank you again for a very beneficial post.

Aida
Shockingly free for 1 month, 2 weeks, 1 day and 18 hours. I have not smoked a staggering number of cigarettes (1,602 cigarettes sufficient to fill my lungs with half-a glass full of black tar). I saved $448.69 and added 5days and 13 hours to my life span.
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kattatonic1 gold4
kattatonic1 gold4

August 8th, 2004, 7:59 pm #30

Roger, is it time to write Part 2 of the Patience thread ~ you know, about Stage 2? Your Patience post really made a big difference to me early in my quit. I mean really, really made a big difference to me.
Now that I am so far into my quit, I notice a very funny thing happening here. I am absolutely full of patience for all sorts of things. Some of it might be the contribution of my "practising" patience, but I was only practising it to make it through triggers and the like. Now it has permeated here, there and everywhere in my life! Could it be that I was always so wound up waiting for my next "fix" or searching for the opportunity for my next fix, that I had taught myself to be impatient all over the place, here, there and everywhere? Could it be that comfort has been sneaking around and seeping into all different aspects of my life and making me patient!? Holy cow!
~ Kay ~
Celebrating 7.5 months of Freedom~!
Last edited by kattatonic1 gold4 on July 22nd, 2009, 3:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Parker GOLD
Parker GOLD

October 10th, 2004, 10:32 pm #31

"Up ahead is a deep, rich sense of inner quiet and calm where the constant chatter of addiction is just a memory."
John wrote this in response to someone else's post. I wanted to capture it here. For this is what patience will bring you.
Parker - 28 months
Last edited by Parker GOLD on July 22nd, 2009, 3:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
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gold osomashi
gold osomashi

October 23rd, 2004, 3:24 pm #32

Thank you everyone on this string. Your words on patience are powerful and I am finding great solace in them. I'll keep this one on my speed dial. Thank you.
mari 1 month and 2 weeks
Last edited by gold osomashi on July 22nd, 2009, 3:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
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cac
cac

October 24th, 2004, 9:30 am #33

This is exactly what I need to read, daily, for a while. I have copied it and will post it by my desk.

I think that after over 2 decades of instant "aaah" gratification and feeding that jones now (because my body says "NOW!") has indeed modified my behavior. When there is nothing to do "NOW!" anymore, I feel more jittery even though I am weeks away from the physical effects of nicotine withdrawl . I have nothing to be compulsive about anymore. I don't know what to do with myself and I have long forgotten how to "just be". "Just being" brings calmness and I have to teach myself how to "just be" again.

Perhaps for the next week (through greening!) I will say "NTAP and just be".

-Cate
Nicotine free for 3 Weeks, 3 Days, 12 hours and 16 minutes (24 days). $48.04 goes to the free me fund. By not smoking 171 cigarettes, I have saved 14 hours and 15 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 9/29/2004
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

December 4th, 2004, 2:09 am #34



Baby steps, patience, just one day at a time!

There's no place like home!

This can be one of the most eye-opening and wonderful adventures we'll ever take if we'll only remain patient and allow ourselves to see the peddles of the beautiful rose unfolding before our very eyes.

The real quitting took place the day that nicotine assumed control over the flow of more than 200 neurochemials inside your body. You're not quitting you but recovering you! You're going home and you've always had the ability to do so. There's only one rule to again awaking someday soon to a re-newed expectation of going your entire day without once wanting for nicotine ... no nicotine today!!
Last edited by John (Gold) on July 22nd, 2009, 3:20 am, edited 1 time in total.
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JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

February 3rd, 2005, 1:57 am #35

OMG, just had a moment when I clicked a link suggestion from (I think) Kay! This is now added to my IE Favorites in the Freedom folder. Thanks you to Roger et al. who have added to this string. Just what I need to read cause I have so little. Patience that is. "And Just BE" JoeJFree - a nicotine addict Free and Healing for Twenty Three Days, 2 Hours and 42 Minutes
I've saved 2 days and 9 minutes of my life.
Last edited by JoeJFree Gold on July 22nd, 2009, 3:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
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