New reactions to anger as an ex-smoker

The emotions that flow from nicotine cessation
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:33

03 May 2007, 10:30 #61

Wow...I needed to read this today...I so did that...smoke instead of dealing with things that upset me...
What a realization...
thank you Joel

smoke free 11 days *big smile*

BillW Gold.ffn
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

05 Sep 2008, 22:45 #62

For Sid, Candle, and anyone else feeling a little angry or grumpy.... Image

BillW 6 1/2 plus....

Sal GOLD.ffn
Joined: 16 Jan 2003, 08:00

23 Oct 2008, 10:17 #63

ImageYour brain is healing. Never take another puff!

Joined: 04 Jan 2010, 00:03

01 Feb 2010, 01:58 #64

Omg. I read this post in the PDF on my quit night, and its one of the tools i put away.

Me and the woman just had a massive row over the volume of the telly. I was completely rational about the entire argument, knowing why I was blowing up so much after a month of quit. She thought i was just a completely insane person for wanting the telly on volume 18 instead of 16. (i've wanted the telly on 18 for the last 12 years!)

As a never-smoker, she didnt really get much of my explosive argument tonight.

So, instead of me just having another smoke (which became a non-option about a month ago, well a month and 2 hours!), and turning the telly down but not being happy about it, I showed her this post, and it helped US (not just me!) so much.

We sorted it out, and now we are going to the cinema tomorrow with a decibel meter to record the volume there, and to work out what the telly actually should be on at home to match the same volume level that the cinema experience would offer.

We will never ever again argue about the volume level the telly should be at. The problem is SOLVED.

It would never have been without my quit or FFN. THANKS THANKS THANKS!
Last edited by dudos on 01 Feb 2010, 02:01, edited 1 time in total.

Joined: 17 Aug 2010, 16:35

25 Aug 2010, 16:37 #65

This is one of those threads I'll be sure to keep turning to. I got a little lucky with the timing of my quit: the first days took place in a week off work and now, after 5 nights on duty, I have a good long stretch off work, combining vacation days and regular time. Good thing, because in those mere 5 nights on duty I had a couple of tense situations. Quit Angers seem to me like the absence of, call it The Sweet Spot: I mean, previously, when trouble came at me, there'd always be time for a cig later on, so I could hang out in The Sweet Spot, letting someone vent at me, etc. The key was, I felt calm and collected enough, that I never felt pushed to explode. Most people were astonished, in fact, to learn that I did have a bit of a temper. Now, when trouble comes, it seems there's a quickness about it and it has a way of closing in, so that it's hard to step back and stay calm.

That's the best I can describe it. Now I've got ten days to mellow out, breathe deeply and devise some strategies. For starters, I remembered some physical things from my years studying Aikido: wrist and finger stretches, etc. I've combined these into a sort of Quick Hand Kata, a series of movements I can do in under a minute and which I'll do periodically to help keep me focused. And closer, at least, to the Sweet Spot I've lost.

Also:  I seem to remember one mental exercise suggested by Anthony Robbins.  He suggested the reader come up with a small set of physical getures which can be used in a crisis.  His strategy was to do the gesture while meditating, imbedding it in the brain with a feeling of calmness or resolve or anything we choose.  Anyway, it's worth a try for use in those quick Quit Anger moments when there's no time to debate.
Last edited by Johnnie on 25 Aug 2010, 16:41, edited 1 time in total.
Gratefully Gold

I escaped from the prison of smoking on August 14, 2010.  
[font]The best revenge is quitting well![/font] 

Joined: 23 Aug 2010, 14:26

26 Aug 2010, 19:08 #66

Johnnie, wow! I can totally relate to the "sweet spot" and smoking a cig, taking a step back while smoking and not getting upset about things. I've gotten my share of looks this last week when...although I haven't blown up at anybody...there was definitely an underlying 'quality' to conversations that haven't been there before. Dealing with my reactions to everyday life without the buffer of a cigarette is proving to be quite interesting and there are times when I hate it! But I'm learning to take a deep breath and trying extremely hard to take a step back and just deal with what happens without my mind going right to "I want a cigarette NOW!"  Since that is not an option, I have faith that eventually (it's only been a week) I will get there.  I will remain calm in a crisis without a smoke.  I will never take another puff!

Joined: 23 Sep 2011, 18:54

25 Sep 2011, 01:43 #67

Wow! I was just attempting to explain this to one of my clients today but I didn't know the "why" of the matter. I explained that since I have quit smoking, things "come out" of my mouth that normally I suppress.

My roommate told me the other day that, when I quit smoking, stuff happens inside me that affects her. She expressed that she sees me attempting conflict with her (when I am simply stating my opinions on things). I held the same opinions when I smoked; I just stuffed them inside and went away from her, others, or a situation, to have a smoke so that I wouldn't "blow up" at someone (even if they deserved it). 

Does this get better? I certainly hope so, because my coworkers think I am volatile and untrustworthy right now. My roommate has lived with me for quite some time and usually keeps to herself anyways.

Joined: 11 Nov 2008, 19:22

16 May 2012, 12:27 #68

Although the below new study fails to address "why" smokers experience greater anger, it confirms that life as an actively feeding nicotine addict involves more intense anger.   Just one rule to staying here on the calmer side of dependency's bars (at least once through early withdrawal) ...  no nicotine today!!! 

Breathe deep, hug hard, live long,

John - Gold x13
Delineating a Relationship Between Problematic Anger and Cigarette Smoking: A Population-Based Study[/b].[/color]

Journal:   Nicotine and Tobacco Reserach 2012 May 13. [Epub ahead of print]

Authors:  Cougle JR, Zvolensky MJ, Hawkins KA.

Source:  Department of Psychology, Florida State University, 1107 W. Call Street, Tallahassee, FL 32306, USA. [][/url]


BACKGROUND:   Research implicates a potentially important relationship between anger and smoking, though extant work suffers from a number of limitations, including the absence of controls for psychiatric comorbidity and the use of treatment-seeking samples. The current study sought to examine the unique associations between problematic anger and smoking behavior in a large representative sample.

METHODS: Participants included 5,692 adults from the National Comorbidity Survey-Replication, a nationally representative survey. Assessments of psychiatric diagnoses, smoking behavior, and problematic anger were administered.

RESULTS:   Results indicated that problems of anger experience were significantly associated with past-year daily smoking, heavy smoking, and nicotine dependence. After controlling for demographics and psychiatric comorbidity, anger experience was uniquely associated with each of these outcomes. Anger experience also was uniquely associated with lifetime history of smoking cessation failure.

CONCLUSIONS:  Overall, these population-based data suggest an important relationship between problematic anger and numerous aspects of smoking behavior.

PMID: 22585540 [PubMed - as supplied by publisher]
PubMed Link:

Joined: 18 Apr 2013, 13:15

27 Apr 2013, 13:30 #69

Thanks for giving me a link to this thread, explains so much to me.  I can totally see how I avoided situations and just prolonged the inevitable so at least I understand it now and have the knowledge that I am now dealing with things in a healthy manner.  Thanks Joel.

Joined: 05 Feb 2014, 20:58

05 Mar 2014, 22:26 #70

      Thank you for that video.  It really made sense and helped me to understand the anger part.  You are always a great help!!!