New reactions to anger as an ex-smoker

The emotions that flow from nicotine cessation
Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

10 Nov 2000, 19:46 #11

Hello April:

Your one lesson learned in your last sentence (actually two lessons, you can live through anything and you will stay off as long as you never take another puff) is really all you really need to know. Other information is supportive of your decision, but these two concepts are the real key to understanding you can live without smoking and how to keep that life for as long as you choose. You learned your lessons well April. You get an A+ from me today. For everyone to pass this course all they need to do is never take another puff!

Joel
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

29 Dec 2000, 22:29 #12

Here Tessa:

This one talks about anger and depression, but the same premise applies to other feelings too, how when smoking you pulled yourself away from situations, maybe feeling better but never really addressing the feelings or issues and never really resolving them.

While this may result in pent up anger in some situations, maybe it was resulting in unresolved feelings in other areas of your life that are now surfacing. Maybe for the first time in a long time you will be able to resolve some issues that you didn't even know still existed. While it is hard to come to points like that in your life, the payoff can be fantasitic. For even though you may not have recognized the existence of some of these issues, they were likely taking an emotional toll and you would have no idea how they would have eventually manifested.

If you find other areas of your life that now need addressing, you may want to find help to address those feelings. Or this may just be some transient reaction to triggers from the recent quit. Either way, there are mechanisms to help you through either situation. Personal growth is not easy, but stunting personal growth is a loss of your ability to reach your true potential of life.

Hang in there Tessa. While it may not always seem like it at any given moment, quitting is worth the payoff. Just heep giving it a little more time.

Joel

Joel
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freeflight silver
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:05

29 Dec 2000, 22:46 #13

Image YES, THIS DOES HELP ME ALSO...I REALLY HAVE TO GUARD AGAINST "STUFFING MY FEELINGS" AND NOW I KNOW TO BE ON ALERT THE NEXT TIME I'M ANNOYED. IT'S SORT OF LIKE BEING ABLE TO HEAR AND SEE PAST THE EMOTIONAL "SURF" NOW. WILL HAVE TO THINK SOME MORE ON THIS ONE. IN A WAY THIS FITS IN WITH ZEP'S POST ON THE HOME PAGE YESTERDAY..USING BOTH TOGETHER GIVES ME MORE BALANCE ON THAT EMOTIONAL "SURFBOARD"...LOL
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pookie p
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 20:32

05 Jan 2001, 09:31 #14

Thank you Joel, it realy does help to read and understand what the heck our minds and bodies are doing. I am very new here but your obvious dedication to this site makes it a lot easier for all of us newbies to yell scream complain and generally vent our feelings. Everyone here is very supportive and welcoming. Thank you all.
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Cristy
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:50

21 Feb 2001, 21:55 #15

unknowingly, but still for me...thank you, Joel
-Cristy
I have been FREE from cigarettes for 6D 9h 38m 11s. I have NOT smoked 224 cigarettes, saving myself $33.61. I have added 18h 40m to my life.
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Kristal
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:03

23 Feb 2001, 08:18 #16

WOW! Reading this, was an eye-opener! I have a much better understanding now, of how I work...thank you, Joel!
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happycamper 67
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 18:58

17 Mar 2001, 22:30 #17

this is good stuff. thank you. I have lost many quits due to anger/miscommunication etc.
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LadyJen22
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:13

26 Mar 2001, 06:12 #18

Thanks Joel. Wish I had read this sooner.
Jen
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Victoria
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 18:59

04 Apr 2001, 12:09 #19

Hi Joel,
Thanks for the best working definition of HAPPY that I've ever seen:
"Happy means you are satisfied with at least one decision or activity you did that day." -Joel Spitzer

You are the first person to ever talk to me about what happy is and isn't in real down-to-earth practical ways that I can understand and apply. Ivory towers of lovely words are mere bric-a-brac to be dusted. But I like your definition because I can tell with it where I stand with myself.
Lots of well-meaning folks have labeled me as a perfectionist and suggested how destructive that pattern is. And I know that it is partly rooted in a set of unrealistic expectations, whether too high or too low for any given set of circumstances, unrealistic is unrealistic.
This definition allows me to be happy with myself.I took a very satisfing walk with a hyperactive yellow labrador retriever named Luau, and a man named Husband Wonderful. I did not take a puff today. It was my decision and I'm satisfied with it. Ergo, I'm happy.
Victoria.
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

04 Apr 2001, 20:51 #20

Hello Victoria:

I am "happy" the definition made you happy. I didn't even remember writing it and had to go back to look at what you were referring to. But your finding it helpful in self understanding and in a little way helping to secure your quit did bring a smile to my face. So for that I hope you feel a little extra happiness today too.

Talk to you soon.

Joel
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