Negative support from others

Joel
Joel

July 21st, 2006, 6:55 am #41

Whatever the situation, keep focused that you are quitting for yourself and whether or not any specific person supports your effort you are behind it. We are behind you too. You will not find a single soul here who will tell you to go back to smoking. We all recognize the significance of the effort. You are fighting for your health and your life. To win that fight, no matter what, never take another puff!

Joel
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Neena393
Neena393

July 21st, 2006, 7:26 am #42

This is why I so appreciate having a place to come when I'm struggling. I know that what I'm saying and feeling can be understood.
So often well meaning people (who have never struggled with addiction) say the wrong thing. My own loved ones have said things in the past that have made me give up. If they only knew how I cried and felt defeated. Of course I was headed for defeat anyway. I was trying the cut down method.

Now its different: If I run into any negative
I will come here for a bunch of positive. So Thank you!!!!
Neena393
I have been quit for 4 Days, 24 minutes and 55 seconds (4 days). I have saved $9.64 by not smoking 48 cigarettes. I have saved 4 hours of my life. My Quit Date: 7/16/2006 4:00 PM
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JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

August 12th, 2006, 4:55 am #43

Whatever the situation, keep focused that you are quitting for yourself and whether or not any specific person supports your effort you are behind it. We are behind you too. You will not find a single soul here who will tell you to go back to smoking. We all recognize the significance of the effort. You are fighting for your health and your life. To win that fight, no matter what, never take another puff!

Joel
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Joel
Joel

August 15th, 2006, 12:50 am #44

In case any of our members are in social circles where smoking is still the norm, this is a good string to prepare them on how to face pressures to smoke that may still exist.
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Joel
Joel

November 15th, 2006, 10:38 am #45

Dealing with people who try to undercut your quit dialup
6.52mb
Highspeed
19.52mb
Time:
17:42
Date added 11/12/06
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tcouch0
tcouch0

December 21st, 2006, 4:34 am #46

Negative comments from others are simply excuses for them to continue smoking.
A couple weeks ago I coughed up blood in my phlegm twice and it scared me so bad that after smoking for 23 years I quit cold turkey after numerous previously failed attempts. My mother's father (my grandfather) is dying of lung cancer right now. I told my mother I coughed up blood and quit smoking. She has been smoking for 45 years and she said I did need to quit more than her because she never coughed up blood in her phlegm before. I thought I would motivate her to quit also, but she just minimized her smoking habit.
Next week I go in for a chest x-ray. I fear lung cancer. I hope it is not too late, and that I quit in time. I also hope that my mother does not wait too long to quit... or it may be too late. I am too scared to ever take another puff.
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Jazzlady4
Jazzlady4

December 21st, 2006, 5:38 am #47

I hope your testing goes well for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I smoked for 43 years, and somehow thought nothing bad would ever happen to me. So far, I am still ok. If your Mom thinks she can't quit, let her know another old lady quit, and is loving being a ex-smoker.

Jazzlady - Free and Healing for Three Months, Twelve Days, 17 Hours and 46 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 7 Days and 4 Hours, by avoiding the use of 2075 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $367.77.
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tcouch0
tcouch0

December 21st, 2006, 6:26 am #48

Thank you JazzLady, I appreciate the thoughts and prayers.
My mother could die from smoking, but I hope not. I hope my quitting will encourage her, but I have to be successful or it will backfire. She probably won't believe I can do it until at least one year goes by.
Oh, and I will let her know she would not be the only 40+ years smoker in the world to quit.
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Joel
Joel

March 27th, 2008, 3:36 am #49

Video Title Dial Up High Speed MP3 Audio Length Created
Telling others that you have quit smoking 2.53mb 7.58mb 4.07mb 08:57 10/17/06
Talking to others about not smoking 5.60mb 16.8mb 6.92mb 15:13 11/19/06
Dealing with people who try to undercut your quit 6.52mb 19.5mb 8.05mb 17:42 11/12/06
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Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

August 29th, 2008, 6:41 am #50

From: Joel. Sent: 3/25/2001 8:28 AM
I just came across this thread and realized it was a good response to the post yesterday about comments and observations of others. Hope this helps people affected by these situations. Comments can make you feel bad, for the moment. But comments and actions of others can't hurt you the way you can hurt yourself. Others can temporarily sadden you or anger you, but they can't cause you to relapse. Only you letting down your guard can do that. Relapsing does more than make you feel sad or hurt. Relapsing can make you feel sick, and be sick, and if left to its ultimate conclusion, cigarettes will cripple you and eventually kill you. You are quitting for yourself and the victory and benefits are yours in spite of what anyone else feels. To keep feeling good, because you are keeping yourself well always remember to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joel
Joel

September 26th, 2008, 4:48 am #51

Comments can make you feel bad, for the moment. But comments and actions of others can't hurt you the way you can hurt yourself. Others can temporarily sadden you or anger you, but they can't cause you to relapse. Only you letting down your guard can do that. Relapsing does more than make you feel sad or hurt. Relapsing can make you feel sick, and be sick, and if left to its ultimate conclusion, cigarettes will cripple you and eventually kill you. You are quitting for yourself and the victory and benefits are yours in spite of what anyone else feels. To keep feeling good, because you are keeping yourself well always remember to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

December 21st, 2008, 11:45 pm #52

Whatever the situation, keep focused that you are quitting for yourself and whether or not any specific person supports your effort you are behind it. We are behind you too. You will not find a single soul here who will tell you to go back to smoking. We all recognize the significance of the effort. You are fighting for your health and your life. To win that fight, no matter what, never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: November 13th, 2008, 2:04 pm

January 2nd, 2011, 2:51 pm #53

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LLJ
LLJ

February 27th, 2011, 3:12 am #54

hi everyone, (everyone, 'hi lara') on feb 19th, 2011, i quit smoking for good after smoking every day (various amounts, but regardless, everyday) for 25 years. i am embracing the ups and downs, and ultimately loving  my new life. yes, at times i get a little emotional because living my new life (without the crutch) is a bit scary - so many triggers yet to overcome. i am so excited by my quit (this is the first time i've been successful - ever.) i have tried many times before, and to that end, i might be seen as the "girl who cried wolf". i quit, i relapsed, i quit, i relapsed, i quit, oops, i relapsed...you get the point. this time is very different. it's real. i know i will not take another puff. i am doing this for ME. i am over the 72 hour hump and ready to live my life as a ex-smoker. and so i do, and in the process, i share my story with friends and my boyfriend. not surprisingly, folks are less than interested because i've tried (and failed) so many times before. so they say things like, 'great, good for you' and we're on to the next topic. not that i need constant positive reinforcement - but no one seems to care, except for me. and maybe my dog -  which i guess will have to suffice. 


the reason i write is because today, i was slightly devastated. when i showed my boyfriend my quit keeper stats and how much $$ i saved, he said (with humor?) 'so, what are you going to do with all that extra cash, buy more cigarettes?' i was crushed, hurt and didn't know how to respond. why would he say that? i have been nothing but nice during my first 72 hours, not mean or irritable at all. concerned and scared, yes, but nothing to warrant a smart alec comment like that. how is that supportive? anyway, in my past life, i would have gotten up angry, had a smoke, "calmed down" and come back inside (reeking of smoke and shame) and perhaps after that, i might have told him how i felt. ('might' being the operative word...more likely i would have ignored it and gone on with my day...) but i don't have this option anymore. so, stupidly, i packed up my belongings and headed home. i said, 'you know, i have some things i need to do, i'll see you later.' he didn't realize i was upset and said see ya later. i didn't tell him how his words hurt me, i didn't know how. 
 
i would like some support from my friends, but so many of them are active smokers, so i think maybe i might be on my own. i know i am strong enough to do this 'alone', i'm on my own anyway, and i am super grateful for this website. i treasure the information and support i have found here. i read it all the time. it's been instrumental in my quit. this is my last quit. ever. for newbies like me, if you get discouraged, or if you aren't getting the support you had hoped for, please come here, read the posts, because it's beautiful stuff and has really helped me. 
 
ok, thank you for reading. my mantra remains, "breathe life". 
so much love to you all, and thank you joel. 
lara


p.s. after a few hours, i did tell my partner i was upset. it felt great to come clean with myself and my feelings. i chose to communicate vs. smoking. while i still feel like he's a bit insensitive, at least i honored myself and shared my feelings rationally without turning to my addiction. a HUGE step for me. one i will draw on for a long time. i am watching my baby steps turn into giant leaps. it's very exciting. 
Last edited by LLJ on February 27th, 2011, 3:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
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