Hard to say without more background Alyson. They could be the best of intentions, based in ignorance of the realities of addiction. In that case, you might provide some of Joel's articles to help them understand what you already do. My wife used to reward me when I didn't smoke for a day by hiding a cigarette around the house somewhere, and then giving it to me as a reward for getting through the day without smoking. I can assure you her intentions were good. Like many, she simply didn't know the repurcussions to what she was doing (and what I did in response... namely, smoke it).
If it's a statement of a lack of faith in your ability to stay quit, I wouldn't take it personally. People get jaded with addicts. They get used to being disappointed by addicts. She's probably seen you try and fail in the past. Or, if not, she's likely seen many others try in the absence of education and fail. She may have seen people try "quitting" by administering nicotine through a patch, or through gum, and seen them fail, and perhaps she believes only superhumans can quit because of this.
Again, maybe the best response is to share some of the knowledge you've gained here, and explain how that knowledge is helping you. How, the understanding of this addiction for what it is, and the corresponding knowledge that the nature of the addiction forbids ever using the drug again, has opened your eyes.
At the end of the day, there is only one way to prove to people that you can quit, and that is to do it permanently by never taking another puff. She still may not be impressed (ask Marty about his wife's reaction to his success). Still, the personal rewards for quitting (health, longer life, better smell, more money, higher self-esteem) are greater than any acknowledgement your friend may or may not provide.
Bob (5m, 3w, 6d)