My Support Group is Responsible!

My Support Group is Responsible!

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

11 Mar 2001, 00:14 #1

Joel's Reinforcement Library
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My Support Group is Responsible!




Case 1: Case 2:
"How do you expect me to quit smoking? All of my family, friends, and work associates smoke. Whenever I try to quit they all try to sabotage my efforts. With support like that, I can't quit smoking!" "I know I will quit. Nobody wants me to smoke. My kids beg me to stop, my husband hates it when I smoke, and we're not allowed to smoke at work. I feel like a social outcast wherever I go. With all those people on my back, I know I won't fail in quitting!"



In both of the above cases, the smoker is wrong in their assessment of whether or not they can actually quit smoking. Success in quitting smoking is not primarily determined by significant others. It is based on the strength of the smoker's own desire to quit.

In case one, the smoker is blaming his failure on lack of support and actual sabotage attempts by others. But not one of these people physically forced a lit cigarette into his mouth and made him inhale. Considering that the only way he could reinforce his nicotine addiction is by inhaling a cigarette, none of his smoking associates had the final say on his success or failure.

Case two, on the other hand, was working under the false assumption that quitting smoking would be a breeze since everybody would support her because they hated her smoking. Not once, though, did she say that she actually wanted to stop for herself. She was stopping because everyone else wanted her to. In essence, she was depriving herself of her cigarettes to make everybody else happy. While she may not have lit up when surrounded by others, sooner or later she would be alone. With no one around, what personal reason does she have to strengthen her resolve not to take a cigarette?

When you joined our clinic, you may have initially blamed others for your failure or erroneously credited the clinic and others with your success. No one failed or succeeded for you. You did it. While significant others can influence how easy or difficult quitting will be, your own personal resolve is the major determinant of success or failure.

If you failed when you tried in the past, stop blaming others. Realize that your personal desire to stop was not strong enough to overcome the powerful grip cigarettes exerted on you. Rather than making one half hearted attempt after another, make a personal assessment of why you smoke and why you wish to stop. If your personal reasons are good enough, then try to stop. As long as your ammunition is strong, no one will be able to make you smoke.

On the other hand, if you quit, don't feel that the clinic or any one else made you do it. You broke free from a powerful addiction. You did it by making up your own mind, throwing out your cigarettes, and refusing to take another one no matter how much temptation you faced. For this you should be proud. And to maintain that pride for the rest of your life - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!

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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

11 Mar 2001, 00:17 #2




Video explains that your ability to successfully quit smoking is not contingent on the kind of support you get from family members, friends, co-workers or any others, but rather, on your desires and actions.




Related videos:




The importance of quitting for yourself

Quitting for others

Offers for cigarettes

Dealing with people who try to undercut your quit

What did they do to you to make you quit smoking?





Last edited by Joel on 15 Aug 2014, 12:39, edited 3 times in total.
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John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

20 May 2001, 19:08 #3

It's so darn easy for us to use others as our excuses to justify another fix of nicotine. "Don't you see what I'm putting myself through for you?" "You are constantly on me about my smoking and now that I'm trying to quit, you don't appreciate my efforts!" "I'll show you, I'm going to the store right now!"

Our family and friends are not destroying our body and mind, we are! They are not responsible for lighting a fire between our lips and taking hundreds of puffs of nicotine each day, we are! They are not nicotine addicts living from fix to fix to fix, again, it's us! Don't use "junkie thinking" to lash out or punish those who love you in sick attempt to get them to agree that another nicotine fix is the only solution. It's easy to do but it only shows how really sick that your addict mind has become. It's time to stop the madness once and for all!

Today many of us live in 100% comfort and with a deeper sense of inner calmness that we ever felt as smokers. Go the distance! Join us! Find out what it's like to truly be the real unaddicted you! We think you'll like you Image
Last edited by John (Gold) on 15 Feb 2009, 19:28, edited 1 time in total.
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mirigirl (silver)
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

20 May 2001, 19:17 #4

Image Realising that there is no-one to blame for my addiction, has been one of those "the truth will set you free" revelations! Image
That also means that my Quit belongs to me! Yaayyyyy! Image
I can feel proud.
yqs Maz
NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!!
Three months, four weeks, one day, 21 hours, 21 minutes and 9 seconds of FREEDOM!!
2997 cigarettes not smoked, saving $959.45. Life saved: 1 week, 3 days, 9 hours, 45 minutes.
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

29 Dec 2001, 05:52 #5

We are here as a resource and a support system, but there are limits to what we can provide. Your ultimate success is always going to be contingent on your effort to keep yourself reinforced as to why you don't ever want to smoke again. While we try to be available 24 hours a day 365 days a year, there will be times when due to technical reasons, such as Microsoft upgrades, or your own power outages or computer trouble that we may not be accessable to you. It will always be your personal commitment at such times and you keeping your own guard up and understanding of addiction alive that will keep your quit secure even in these events. Never lose sight of this fact. You quit smoking and deserve all the praise--you will also derive the real benefits--greater health and probably a longer life. To keep these benefits over your lifetime whether we are there or not always remember to never take another puff!

Joel

P.S. Don't panic...we are not planning on going anywhere, we just want people to be equipped to deal with all contingencies.
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GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

01 Jan 2004, 03:56 #6

Image This is very important for our newbies to read. No one is responsible for your quit but YOU and the only person you can thank for keeping your quit is YOU. Reading and learning about your addiction is the single most important thing you should do when visiting this site. Another thing that helps is keeping a list of reasons for your quit with you at all times.

Linda
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

09 Jun 2005, 19:00 #7

We are here as an educational resource even more than we are here as a support system. There are limits to what we can provide. Your ultimate success is always going to be contingent on your effort to keep yourself reinforced as to why you don't ever want to smoke again. While we try to be available 24 hours a day 365 days a year, there will be times when due to technical reasons, such as Microsoft upgrades, or your own power outages or computer trouble that we may not be accessable to you. It will always be your personal commitment at such times and you keeping your own guard up and understanding of addiction alive that will keep your quit secure even in these events. Never lose sight of this fact.

You quit smoking and deserve all the praise--you will also derive the real benefits--greater health and probably a longer life. To keep these benefits over your lifetime whether we are there or not always remember to never take another puff!

Joel
Reply

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

21 Jul 2006, 06:55 #8

If you failed when you tried in the past, stop blaming others. Realize that your personal desire to stop was not strong enough to overcome the powerful grip cigarettes exerted on you. Rather than making one half hearted attempt after another, make a personal assessment of why you smoke and why you wish to stop. If your personal reasons are good enough, then try to stop. As long as your ammunition is strong, no one will be able to make you smoke.

On the other hand, if you quit, don't feel that the clinic or any one else made you do it. You broke free from a powerful addiction. You did it by making up your own mind, throwing out your cigarettes, and refusing to take another one no matter how much temptation you faced. For this you should be proud. And to maintain that pride for the rest of your life - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!
Reply

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

15 Nov 2006, 10:43 #9

Title dialup highspeed audio 06:39 10/17/06
Telling others that you have quit smoking 2.53mb 7.58mb 1.30mb 08:57 10/17/06
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JoeJFree Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

08 Oct 2008, 11:20 #10

When you joined our clinic, you may have initially blamed others for your failure or erroneously credited the clinic and others with your success. No one failed or succeeded for you. You did it. While significant others can influence how easy or difficult quitting will be, your own personal resolve is the major determinant of success or failure.

If you failed when you tried in the past, stop blaming others. Realize that your personal desire to stop was not strong enough to overcome the powerful grip cigarettes exerted on you. Rather than making one half hearted attempt after another, make a personal assessment of why you smoke and why you wish to stop. If your personal reasons are good enough, then try to stop. As long as your ammunition is strong, no one will be able to make you smoke.

On the other hand, if you quit, don't feel that the clinic or any one else made you do it. You broke free from a powerful addiction. You did it by making up your own mind, throwing out your cigarettes, and refusing to take another one no matter how much temptation you faced. For this you should be proud. And to maintain that pride for the rest of your life - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF! - Joel



As always, thanks for telling it like it is Joel. Image
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