My Computer Saved My Life

My Computer Saved My Life

GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

22 Mar 2001, 04:21 #1

When I told Imagemy husband a couple of years ago that I wanted to get a computer, he told me that we had made it into our mid fifties without one, why get one now. I had no answer for him other than I wanted the internet (had really no clue what the internet was) and besides, every one else our age was getting them. The more people I saw getting them the more I too, wanted one and so I figured I was a wage earner ......heck, I could buy my own computer and in a couple of months I did just that...and it has saved my life![/size] Being a smoker for 41 years, I thought that I'd live the rest of my life as one......tried to quit before but never lasted longer than 5 days before running to the store to buy a pack of cigarettes. Tried the patches too.....wore them at work and then got home and ripped them off as fast as I could, ran down the basement.....and smoked.[/size]

Around the end of '99, my husband and I said we had to quit, but how and when. It was discovered in august of '99 that he had three aneurysms abdominal.....two illiac (arteries into the legs). The doctors said he needed surgery after the first of the year before the aneurysms got any bigger and burst. An aneurysm is the thinning of a blood vessel that becomes worse until it a balloon being blown up until it pops. An aneurysm that breaks is instant death unless the person is lucky to get to the hospital before bleeding to death internally. There is no sign or clue that it is in you unless it found during an exam for another problem or it breaks.....smoking is blamed for a majority of aneurysms. Needless to say.....the vascular surgeon said smoking would have to cease....easy to say when you've never smoked....hard to do when you've spent your life smoking.[/size]

Hal said that if I quit smoking, so would he. Aw gee.....and if I continued smoking, well, so would he. We set Jan 1 for our start/quit date and I told everyone at work that after New Years' weekend, I would return to work smoke free. Before the New Years weekend, I bought 2 packs of cigarettes and 1 box of patches. They gave me dirty looks at work! Well Jan 1 came and went and we were still smoking. On the second of January, I was surfing the net looking for smoking articles when lo and behold.....a forum for people who were trying to quit!! Imagine that![/size]

I sat there mesmerized and read and read the posts of people just like me trying to kick the habit. My husband and I were not the only people in the world, who, that very day were trying to quit. Amazing. They had these neat things at the ends of their posts that told how long it had been since they was the quitmeter they said and it was free....just had to download it to my computer. I did!!! I got the nerve to say that I, Linda, was never going to smoke again and then received all sorts of letters of encouragement from people I'd never met before. This was wonderful!! I had my quitmeter and I was going to beat this habit.[/size]

On January 3, at 11:45 am, I found a cigarette!! It was hiding in my drawer in my bedroom.....actually I knew it was there....was sort of saving it for a rainy day.
I smoked it! I stood in my bathroom just 13 hours into a quit and smoked a could I??? Well, a cigarette is a cigarette and now I have to reset my meter back to ground 0. The people at the smoking board said....that's ok Linda...start again, and I did. I was so angry at myself, so disgusted at my weakness, so upset because the cigarette was here in my house. But because I was so upset.....I vowed it would never happen again.

Online suppot has saved my life and my husband's. He did not come near my computer, but had I failed, so would have he. To be able to sit in your own home and scream and yell and cry and laugh with others that are going through the same thing was a modern day miracle. To know what to expect and what to do should I feel the need to smoke....was a keyboard stroke away. Help was always there for me. I read and read and posted and posted.....kept a very close eye on my quitmeter and smiled each day at noon when it made this silly quacking or honking noise letting me know another smokefree day has passed......I found and then Freedom and the days, slow to pass at first, now fly by faster than ever.[/size]

For all the new people here and for those of you that are having a little more difficult time quitting than others.....I say use online help to its fullest. People helping people is the most wonderful concept in the world. Look at AA or NA and the success those wonderful organizations have enjoyed over the years....people helping people. For those of us a little more confident in our quit....the greatest gift we can give to others is that which was given to us....encouragement and support.[/size]

Scream, holler, do whatever you have to do ........but remember the most important thing you can do for yourself is to ask for help and receive it......and then when you have succeeded, and you will.....give it back to others.[/size] computer, that which my husband said I did't need, saved our lives.....for that, and for all the wonderful support I received, and for all the new friends I've made.....I will be forever grateful.[/size]

Linda....after 41 years of since January, 3, 2000.[/size]
Last edited by GrumpyOMrsS (Gold) on 02 Jan 2010, 22:06, edited 1 time in total.

Joanne Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

11 Apr 2001, 11:31 #2

Thank you LindaImageImage

maid n oz (Gold)
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:14

11 Apr 2001, 18:11 #3

Image Remember me???

I remember you..

I first made application to Freedom within the first 24 hours of my quit. But, because I was in such a state, I only filled in my first name and email address. The comment box was left to your imagination, hehehe. Anyway, you sent me an email back, I sent you a sheepish apology and you accepted me. Thanks Linda. I realise you probably wouldn't remember this, but I will always remember you. I actually stumbled on Freedom by accident. I wouldn't have come back if you hadn't of taken the time to tell me of my mistake and I would most probably be still smoking. See Linda, you were the first outstretched hand I saw and I grabbed it.
And for that, I will always remember YOU.
Lots and Lots of HUGS,
ImageLove, Kelli

GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

11 Apr 2001, 23:49 #4

Oh my, Kelli....when I first started to read your note I thought....I did not let her in....she is angry at me. Unfortunately, so many applicants to Freedom do not state when they have quit or if they have quit cold turkey on their applications. This is so very important to us as we no longer debate these issues on the board as we did almost a year ago when everyone here was quitting a different way. We have had a few applicants upset because they were not admitted, but by keeping our standards high....relapse rates have remained low as we, for the most part, have quitters here, that have tried everything to quit and for the first time in their lives have found the answer to their dreams in a tough, no nonsense, board.

So darn happy to hear from you truly made my day. Keep up the great job....and by your being here and too, will, without a doubt, keep someone else from smoking.
yqs, Linda

Sye (Gold )
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:17

12 Apr 2001, 00:03 #5

Thanks Linda: I have been out of touch for a while. We had lost our DSL provider at work, and dial up on a large network of computers is difficult at best. Anyway I couldn't help but notice your post. I was one of the many people who joined the ranks on 8/3/2000. That fateful day for me and many others. I have talked before about the dreams of my untimely death and how I stubbled upon this group ( THE BEST STUBBLE IN MY LIFE!!!) I could go on and on, but I to feel that my cumputer saved my life too.

Great to be back and SMOKE FREE for Eight months, one week, one day, 8 hours, 28 minutes and 41 seconds. 5027 cigarettes not smoked, saving $942.73. Extra days above ground: 2 weeks, 3 days, 10 hours, 55 minutes.

Sye (Mike)

amcanuck ( GOLD )
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

12 Apr 2001, 12:51 #6

Image Hi Linda,I have not had much luck posting the last few days.I tried 3 times to write something just now.I`d been meaning to reply to your post since you put it up.You are one of those very special people that gives so much to everyone here.I especially like it when you are straightforward.I believe that my computer saved my life as well.Some people say that the internet is bad because there is so much filth on it.But for all the junk there is a lot more of the good things we wouldnt have without it.This support group is a shining example of that.Not only do we help eachother,sometimes having something to throw myself into is a good way to forget an urge to smoke.Its nice to think that one of these times when we reply to someone it may really help their quit.I know that you have helped me.I enjoyed your personal testimony in this post.Sure helps to know we arent alone doesnt it?thanks for getting a computer,amcanuck

Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 18:59

29 Apr 2001, 18:35 #7

Dear Linda,
Thank you for this post that so eloquently shares your personal motivation that gave you the "dig in your heels" determination to succeed. Often these stories are with me when I am away from my computer. You do not see me; I am with you. much love, Victoria.

Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 18:59

30 Apr 2001, 00:49 #8

Linda, aka GrumpyOMrsS:

Thank you very much for accepting me into this community, and for the personalized reply you sent me informing me I WAS A MEMBER AT FREEDOM! I noticed your subject title while signing in today. I am so glad I finally got this computer. One of the reasons I did was to be able to keep my fingers and mind busy so I would have a better success rate of finally quiting ciggerettes, as I cannot get out and about and have trouble doing things at home that require physical energy and therefore keeping my hands and mind busy on something else. I have been smoking since I was 15 yrs old. 46 now ... Oh My God! I just figured it out! I've been smoking for 31 years! I'm shocked. I have quit before, when I was well and still working, it lasted for 8 months. My downfall, as with every quit after, came down to going out, having a drink with friends and bumming a ciggerette. Which eventually would lead to me buying a pack. So, the nicodemon (appropriate name) was always there lurking. NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF is the only way I am going to be to able to succeed at this, I am sure. I'm am happy you got your computer and it not only save you, but your beloved husband as well.

I am glad I have found the support here I know I am going to need to help me reprogram by brain and that it will be available to me for as long and whenever I need it - it seems you're never safe, no matter how long you have quit. And it's all only a computer loggon away!

Thank you once again
aka sunhineray

Glenys Goldx3
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

03 May 2001, 17:52 #9

Someone looking for this thread - hope this helps them to find it. Cheers, Glenys

GrumpyOMrsS (Gold)
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

19 Jul 2001, 00:54 #10

for all those who are thinking about quitting, but don't feel they can....please do not underestimate the power of online support. First and foremost in battling nicotine addiction, as with other addiction, is a clear and concise understanding of that addiction. The information gained here at freedom through Joel's library, Zep's and the posts of thousands of other members who have joined Freedom in their quest to kick the deadliest of the addictions is invaluable.

So first you must be determined to quit....wanting to quit is not have to say to yourself that you will DO it by hook or crook....then you must educate yourself on nicotine addiction, jump in and do intense learning during the first 72 hours and then, become a member of the the most wonderful and dedicated quit cold turkey site on the www where our members will be here to celebrate your victory with you and give you a gentle nudge when you think you are having a problem. And, oh yes, the most important rule of all to be successful once you begin your quit....NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!!
Linda.....After smoking for 41 years...I have been smokefree for one year, six months, two weeks, one day, 49 minutes and 37 seconds. 11,220 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,685.98. Life saved: 5 weeks, 3 days, 23 hours, 0 minutes.