Misty's First Post

BlessedMommyx2
BlessedMommyx2

January 14th, 2009, 5:26 am #1

Hello everyone! Well, I am on day 9 of my quit.... so here is a little bio.....

I smoked my first cigarette at 6 years old and would smoke on and off throughout my childhood. I didn't start smoking on a regular basis until age 18, but have remained a steady smoker for the past 13 years. On a daily basis, I smoked at least a pack and sometimes closer to two. I have asthma and have developed a nasty cough. One of the most amazing women in my life (my stepmom) was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. Smoking lost it's allure and started to give me extreme anxiety. I started wondering how I would feel if I was told I only had a limited amount of time to live, when smoking was something that was in my control. I became so anxious at night when I would lie in my bed and wheeze. I knew I had to make a change.

I have two beautiful girls. My oldest is almost five and recently asked if she could smoke a cigarette. Right then and there, it dawned on me that I was only one year older than her when I smoked my first cigarette. I didn't want to set that example for her and I was tired of taking time away from my girls to go sit on the patio and smoke while they sat inside watching tv or playing by themselves. I would get winded while singing lullabies at night and I couldn't breathe while trying to keep up with them at the park.

I have to say that it has not been an easy 9 days, as I am definitely going through the grieving process. I feel very depressed and agitated, with little patience for anything. I feel as though I have given up my best friend (albeit, one that was trying to kill me) and feel somewhat lost. I was motivated and encouraged during the first week, but this week I wonder if, and when, life will feel normal again.

When I feel a craving approaching, I put my 9 month old in the stroller and we take off. It is refreshing to be able to actually breathe while I'm taking a walk, and I actually managed to jog a little bit yesterday. I am nowhere near ready to give up, but I can't help but wonder if life will feel joyous again, and if so, when? I am very proud of myself as I will not turn around and go back, but I just want to feel happy again.....

Sorry to have such a depressing first entry, but it's the way I'm feeling today. When the rain passes, I'll throw my little one in the stroller and be amazed at how much easier I can breathe, and embrace all of the smells of flowers along our walking path that I couldn't even smell before. I will take a deep breath and listen to the wonderful sound of no wheezing, and I will know that all of this sadness will pass and my life will be normal again.

-Misty
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JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

January 14th, 2009, 6:32 am #2

Welcome Misty,

For people wondering if quitting is really worth the effort...
" I'm different, I'll never be comfortable without nicotine "
Not if but when. Sooner than you can imagine. In some respects as soon as you 100% commit to embrace full recovery. When I first read here somone replied - look in the mirror and give yourself a big smile. Look in your eyes and promise yourself to no longer allow yourself to lie as a junkie. Commit to living free.

Restoring volume control
You are beginning to live a new life. To again live free of the influence of a foreign chemical. Embrace and celebrate the journey of recovery. Give yourself the time you need to heal.

Why did I ever start smoking?
Having also taken my first cigarette at a very early age and maintained the dependency through childhood (it's sad remembering when you look back at it now). Feels like in some ways our life was stolen from us, and it actually was. But it doesn't have to be that way Misty. You can and will get better, back to the real and true you. Get stubborn, get angry if you have to but most of all keep looking forward. Keep finding the little joys and surprises and celebrating them. They'll happen every day. The past is full of choking, stinky smoke. Keep your focus on the clean and easy breathing future ahead of you. Journey of re-adjustment to "you"

My name is Joe J Free- a nicotine addict who stopped ingesting chemical poison 4 years, 3 days, 7 hours, 16 minutes and 32 seconds (1464 days) ago.
I've decided not to consume 39536 deadly doses and saved $10,083.30 in my 'Freedom Dividend' account.
I've reclaimed 274 days, 13 hours and 21 minutes of my life, the best part of this gift I give to myself each and every day I choose to NTAP!
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Doc2474
Doc2474

January 14th, 2009, 6:41 am #3

Hi Misty
You have made the right decision, well done on 9 days.
Keep doing it one day at a time, it gets easier and better quickly.
Just stick with it and read and learn here.

Regards

DocThe Doc - Free and Healing for Two Months, Thirty Days, 6 Hours and 32 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 6 Days and 8 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1825 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me £549.69.
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michelledawn
michelledawn

January 14th, 2009, 7:18 am #4

Welcome to Group; Great Job Misty!!

It's gets easier and before you know it, you'll be celebrating a month, 2 months and more!


Blessings,
Michelle
6 months Nicotine Free today!! Silver is Great! :)
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BlessedMommyx2
BlessedMommyx2

January 14th, 2009, 7:26 am #5

Thank you guys for the support! The way I feel now is that I have come this far (hey, these last 9 days have felt like FOREVER) and there is no turning back! I spend much of my free time reading articles and posts on this website and it's awesome to find so much info in one place. And now that I'm not sitting outside for an equivalent of 4 hours per day, I seem to have MUCH more time to browse the internet! lol...
Thanks again!
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Jenn XSmokr
Jenn XSmokr

January 14th, 2009, 7:42 am #6

This message has been deleted by the manager or assistant manager.
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Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

January 14th, 2009, 7:51 am #7

From: Jenn_XSmokr Sent: 1/13/2009 5:42 PM
Welcome and congrats on your quit! it is sooooooo worth it :) We are all here with you on your journey. I would think of the board and all the people when I *really* wanted to smoke and knowing that I'd disappoint them and then be banned really helped me through some tough moments. Still does :)

Jenn - Free and Healing for 78 Days, 20 Hours and 42 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 5 Days and 11 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1577 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $356.04.
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ScottA0
ScottA0

January 14th, 2009, 9:43 am #8

Congratulations Misty! You've made it through glory week and are now free to acknowledge all of the incredible ways in which your body is healing. I remember the first day that I woke up without that lovely coughing fit that I had become accustomed to. I could'nt believe that I could start healing that fast. Read all you can and try to keep a positive outlook. Remember it really is as simple as Never Take Another Puff.

Scott
I have been recovering for 1 Year, 10 Months, 6 Days, 20 hours and 54 minutes (678 days). I have saved $4,854.22 by not smoking 23,760 death sticks. I have saved 2 Months, 3 Weeks and 12 hours of my life, My Quit Date: 3/6/2007 23:45
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

January 14th, 2009, 8:22 pm #9

Welcome Misty! We've been waiting on you! It felt like that for all of us as our brain dopamine (reward) and insula (anxiety) pathways pleased and beat us into believing that nicotine was as important as food. How could we not think something important was being left behind, that it defined who we were, gave us our edge, helped us cope and that life without it would be horrible? It's normal, natural and totally, 100% the biggest lie we ever knew.

While your physical and subconscious mind are letting go of the lie, your conscious, thinking mind will benefit by letting go too. Misty, each time you extinguish one of your nicotine use cues you have been rewarded with the return of another aspect of life. Look at the things you can do now without nicotine that just 10 days ago were unthinkable. It's solid evidence of having lived a lie. It won't be long before you realize that every activity that was associated with using can be done as well as or better without nicotine.

We can cling to beliefs created by a mind chemically trapped and between dopamine "aaah" rewards for using, and insula anxiety beatings for having waited too long, or allow ourselves to see the lie, and understand that truth will continue to build and control so long as we remain committed to not allowing nicotine back into our bloodstreams. Remember Misty, we're not fighting a whole pack or even a whole cigarette but just that first powerful puff that would cause up to 50% of our brain's a4b2-type acetylcholine receptors to be occupied by nicotine, creating a dopamine "aaah" sensation that would soon have our brain begging for more.

Millions of words here at Freedom but one rule deteriming the outcome for all ... no nicotine today, NTAP!

Breathe deep, hug hard, live long,

John (Gold x9)
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BlessedMommyx2
BlessedMommyx2

January 14th, 2009, 10:38 pm #10

Thank you Jenn, Scott, and John! It is amazing how quickly your body begins to heal. At the end of the very first day of my quit, I was not wheezing anymore. I'm still coughing a little bit, but nowhere NEAR the amount I used to cough!

I have been thinking a lot about the power of the mind the past couple of days and realize that I need to take control of my thoughts... if I continue to think I'm depressed, I will continue to be depressed. So, I've decided that today, I will revel in all of the joys of my life and know that I will be around a while longer (God willing) to enjoy them!

Thank you all so much for your support! This support group is awesome as it does hold you accountable and it feels great to know I am not alone!

-Misty
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Scarecrow 9 17
Scarecrow 9 17

January 14th, 2009, 11:05 pm #11

Welcome to your Freedom, Misty!! You have made a wise choice. Your children will so benefit from having a clean smelling, non-wheezing Mamma! If you haven't already checked out Joel's videos, you really should. They are a great source of information with quite a bit of humor thrown in for good measure.
Starting week two of your quit

Stick close by until you begin to feel the comfort, I promise you ~ you will feel the comfort.
Take it one day at a time and be proud for every moment you remain free by sticking to your personal committment to Never Take Another Puff!!

You are also right about the mind and your mood. There are many great articles in here on depression and moods. screams, laughter, fears and tears

The best advice I can give you is to read everything you can here. It will get easier, we promise!!

Keep up the good work, Misty. You can do this. You are doing this!

YQS (Your Quit Sister) Lisa J ~ free for almost 16 months!
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CWZero K
CWZero K

January 14th, 2009, 11:25 pm #12

Congratulations Misty on taking back control of your life. You will be amazed soon at your first post. I read mine and reach back to get an inkling of how I felt. I do it so I will not be tempted into relapse. Comfort will come and in the meantime, keep reading, keep smiling, and keep on keepin' on abaord the Freedom Train by keeping that commitment you made to yourself to Never Take Another Puff!
CW
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Marty34 Greece
Marty34 Greece

January 15th, 2009, 2:45 am #13

Congrats Missy on your quit. There is nothing better in the whole world that you could offer yourself and your family than begining to live a normal life without smoking. YES...you have done it! You are now an ex=smoker...Good for you!
Don't worry today about tomorrow. You have probably read this several times in this wonderful forum but just focus on not smoking today. Always congratulate yourself for not smoking when you go to ben at night and always remind yourself not to smoke the day you wake up. Don;t feel sad about your quit but rather embrace each crave as each and every crave is an ididcation of heeling. Welcome and know that we also are proud of you.
Cheers.
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