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I'm with Parker, Splat, you've done an amazing job of transforming a "wanting" mind into a tool of observation, reason, logic and honesty. I doubt we'll find a more powerful tool for that toolbox of yours than what you've given it - a motivated and educated mind that demands honesty. In my mind it isn't a question of not having what it takes but more a matter of losing what we already have.It may have been the "perfect" recipe for relapse (a little chilly, a little late and conversation a bit too deep) but nicotine's two-hour chemical half-life is pretty much the same for your girlfriend as it is for every other nicotine addict on earth, including the hundreds of thousands who at this very second think they are smoking because the telephone just rang or because the telephone didn't ring, because they're bored or because they're not bored and in the company of many many friends, because they're hungry or because they just finished a nice big meal, because they just awoke or because it's time for bed, because they're about to walk into a store or because they're just walking out of another, because they're getting into the car or getting out, because they're happy or sad, have one cigarette left or a full pack, or think they're smoking because they are at a specific location, a certain time of day or even around that special person who also happens to be chemically dependent upon mandatory regular nicotine feedings til death - or recovery - do they part!
In fact, unless we accelerated metabolizing our body's nicotine reserves by sensing stress, consuming large quantities of vitamin C or drinking alcohol, all the other romantic feeding times were simply "early" at best
Education is something that it's pretty darn hard to lose, Splat. What I'd like to see in that toolbox is a way for Splat to keep his core motivations and day #1 reasons for seeking freedom as vibrant and alive on day 31 and 44 as they were on day 13!
Should the excitement and newness of this temporary journey of adjustment begin to wane - creating fertile ground for junkie thinking - what tool will pull from your box to refresh, revive and renew it, Splat? What good is swimming half way across an amazing river to paradise (to the waiting arms of a comfortable "you") before turning back to face dependency, decay, and disease?
This isn't a hard journey but it does require patience and sustained motivation. Which tool will we reach for should we sense "junkie thinking" beginning to infect our recovery? I say, fill our box with honest memories of what life as a daily nicotine smoker was like, with why we wanted our freedom so badly back on day #1, and with every honest realizations (like your "feeding time" realization on the pier) that we can possibly grab hold of during recovery.
Thanks for the thread, Splat! In the end there will always be only one rule - no nicotine - Never Take Another Puff! John