Life may be easier as a smoker

apninzoe
apninzoe

May 6th, 2008, 8:38 pm #1

I had a terrible night last night!! First I went to my sisters for a cook out, and I could not smoke and could not have a beer because I knew that I would smoke. I felt empty and just very plain.

Then I got a disturbing phone call from my land lord. I am lonley, I have no friends, no boyfriend just two small kids (2&4). My house is always a mess, I cannot seem to get organized, And I cannot sleep at night.

I love to play the piano and write songs and I also plan on taking the LSAT in a few months. I am a singer but my voice has only gotten worse since I quit smoking. Those are the only things that I have going for me.

I feel like I am loosing my mind. Maybe life will be easier for me if I smoked. I really need help. I cannot take it anymore! But as a member I decided to post before I go buy a pack of salem lights!!

PLEASE HELP ME!!
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Doc460704
Doc460704

May 6th, 2008, 8:56 pm #2

April,

I had some time like you are having early in my quit. I couldn't sleep in the beginning. It got better and lot faster than I thought it would. Everything I've read on these web sites is true. Life is NOT easier as a smoker. Life most likely will be shorter as a smoker. Life will be more expensive as a smoker. Your life will be controlled by the need for nicotine feedings as a smoker. Remember smoking is NOT going to solve any of the rest of the problems we all face in life but only add to that pile.

Just remember take it one day at a time and NTAP.

YQB,

Pat (Free four months, five days, 6 hours, 54 minutes and 59 seconds. 3788 cigarettes not smoked, saving $757.48. Life saved: 1 week, 6 days, 3 hours, 40 minutes)
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Joel
Joel

May 6th, 2008, 8:58 pm #3

Decisions
When you smoke, you don't really have to make many decisions. Cigarettes just have the ability to make all-important decisions for you. They decide how much time you spend with family and friends, at least non-smoking family and friends. When they say its time to go, well then it is time to go. They will decide how long you will stay in a movie, no matter how good the movie is.

They will help you make career choices. They decide where you work, non-smoking companies are probably out of your job prospects. They decide whom you hang around with at breaks at work, if you get a smoking break that is. They will help you with financial decisions too. They decide how much you are willing to spend for them. Actually, you are willing to spend whatever they are going to cost. They will decide insurance premiums too.

They will help dictate your public persona. They decide your overall aroma, for no matter how you try to mask their odor they are the predominate smell that people associate with you. They will help people make first impressions of you too.

They decide when you go shopping. You will put your safety on the line going out during blizzards or storms or whatever inclement conditions are thrown at you. When you run out of cigarettes, they tell you its time to go out and get some more not matter what the risk.

They make other lifetime decisions too. They decide whom you will eventually marry, or at least, who may marry you. They will decide how often and when you get sick, and they have many surprises for you along these lines. They even have the ability to make the ultimate decision for you; they can decide when you are going to die. Is it easier letting an inanimate object make these decisions for you? Of course it is. But is it preferable to let them make these decisions? Think about that. The odds are if you realize the decisions cigarettes have in store for you, you will probably finally make a decision for yourself. The decision you will make is to Never Take Another Puff!




I wrote the following letter to a member who had quit for 18 days and wrote a post saying he was probably going back to smoking that particular evening. This was my reply to him. I don't know if this member is off smoking or if he is even still a member. But the reply applies to everyone here who ever thinks they consciously really want to go back to smoking.

You are at a point that all of our members are at who are nicotine free for at least three days. You are free to choose now. You can choose to smoke nothing--you can also choose to smoke full-fledged again until it cripples then kills you. If your choice is to relapse and go back to smoking again you know what to do. Tonight will be as good as any time. Although, as long as your goal is to smoke until it kills you, why fret the rest of the afternoon, now is as good as time as to relapse as any.

So again--as long as your goal is to smoke till it kills you--you know what to do. As long as you know you will be smoking tonight, today would be a good time to do some estate planning too. Get your will, living will, durable power of attorney, organ donation papers signed in case there are any organs worth harvesting after smoking takes it tolls throughout your body, and maybe call your insurance agent and see about getting some disability insurance. Just in case cigarettes don't cause a sudden death scenario, you want to make sure to have money available in the event of a long disabling illness. Cigarettes can cause plenty of them.

One of the most common ways cigarettes accomplish this goal is to destroy your lungs and breathing ability. Who knows for sure there will be enough money to take care of your needs when you can no longer breath on your own. In fact, if money gets too tight and you can't work, affording cigarettes will be a real problem then. So insurance shopping will be a good way to spend the afternoon now. By the way, you will have to state that you are going for the insurance because you are planning on becoming a long-term smoker. Insurance companies need to know this so they can adjust your premiums accordingly. If you were to mislead them and say you are a non-smoker, when the disease strikes and you expect payments--you may be in for a terrible shock to find out that you will not collect for signing up under false pretenses.

Another good thought for today is maybe prepay for a plot and funeral arrangements now. You can save a bundle. Most of us don't like to think about such things but it sounds like you are planning for a life and death decision tonight so why not make a number of them.

So again--as long as your goal is to start your slow motion suicide into action, you know what to do. If by any chance you were not really considering going back to smoking till it cripples and kills you--you may want to have some contingency plans set up for tonight too. Maybe take the money that is going to be earmarked to smoking for the next month, which may be hundreds of dollars and go out and have a really good time treating yourself to things that wont kill you. You will be able to do a lot more of this as long as you always remember to never take another puff!

Joel

A couple of years ago in our earlier days at Freedom, a member wrote that she made a conscious decision to smoke after experiencing a horrendous day. Since we no longer have people posting relapse excuses, I thought it would be good to bring up the response from back then, as a tool to help our current members think through any such thoughts. Do many people actually desire to go back to smoking or make the conscious decision to relapse?

You said you made a conscious decision to smoke. Does this mean you made a conscious decision to go back to full-fledged smoking, your old quantity, maybe even more? Do you mean to say that you wanted to maintain that full quantity, paying thousands of dollars a year, and tens of thousands of dollars over your lifetime in support of that addiction? Do you mean you mad a conscious decision to go back to constantly smelling like a cigarette? Do you mean that you were making a conscious decision to stand outside in subzero weather, tropical down pours, or unbearable heat waves, just to sneak a few drags when in some hostile environment that is restricting your smoking? Do you mean that you made a conscious decision to be viewed as a social misfit or outcast, shunned or ridiculed by others? Does it mean that you made a conscious decision to accept all these consequences with the idea you would smoke until cigarettes would slowly cripple you? Do you mean to say that you made a conscious decision to smoke until you would eventually leave your family, friends, basically all your loved ones behind, because you were going to smoke until cigarettes killed you? Was that your conscious decision?
I am not trying to be harsh or insensitive here. I am just trying to clarify that when a person has a bad moment and relapses saying to themselves that they made a conscious decision to smoke, it is usually an untrue statement. They don't make a conscious decision to smoke; they make a conscious decision to have a cigarette. These are two completely different decisions. It is easy to make a conscious decision to have a cigarette, when you think that is where it will end. Thinking in terms of limited quantity or limited time smoking is fantasizing about smoking. This fantasy will be a person's downfall.

Now in fact you are being forced to make a decision. Your body is going to demand it. The decision now is are you going to be a full-fledged smoker, under the criteria above, or are you going to quit again? If you don't make a decision and take action, the decision is already made. You are a smoker again. On the other hand if you decide to quit, then you may have to put up with the initial withdrawals and the struggles that accompany stopping smoking. Neither option is optimal, but one, as bad as it seems, is clearly better than the other is. One may be miserable; the other is potentially lethal.

You started your post that this was the worst day of your life. If it is the day you go back to smoking, this may not be an inaccurate assessment. If it is the a day you almost lost a quit but got it back and never smoked again, well then in retrospect you will probably realize that today was a day that had bad components. But in the grand scheme of things it was the day you permanently quit smoking and in that real sense it was a good day too. This may be hard to see now but in time, smoke free time; this may become a very realistic assessment.

This is a fight for your health and your life. Give it your all because the alternative is cigarette smoking and if cigarettes are given the opportunity, they will take your all. To keep your Freedom, your health and your life you must understand that your quit is contingent on knowing that to stay smoke free you must never take another puff!

Joel
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soulagement0
soulagement0

May 6th, 2008, 9:04 pm #4

This message has been deleted by the manager or assistant manager.
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soulagement0
soulagement0

May 6th, 2008, 9:07 pm #5

And Joel's piece on Decisions is soooooo true. Many of the decisions you've made up to now have been dictated by nicotine! If you're not where you want to be in your life, it may be due, in large part, to being addicted to it.
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RobinS614
RobinS614

May 6th, 2008, 9:08 pm #6

Hi April

Here's what Joel wrote in another thread.......but also appropriate here...
You are at a point that all of our members are at who are nicotine free for at least three days. You are free to choose now. You can choose to smoke nothing--you can also choose to smoke full-fledged again until it cripples then kills you. If your choice is to relapse and go back to smoking again you know what to do. Tonight will be as good as any time. Although, as long as your goal is to smoke until it kills you, why fret the rest of the afternoon, now is as good as time as to relapse as any.
So again--as long as your goal is to smoke till it kills you--you know what to do. As long as you know you will be smoking tonight, today would be a good time to do some estate planning too. Get your will, living will, durable power of attorney, organ donation papers signed in case there are any organs worth harvesting after smoking takes it tolls throughout your body, and maybe call your insurance agent and see about getting some disability insurance. Just in case cigarettes don't cause a sudden death scenario, you want to make sure to have money available in the event of a long disabling illness. Cigarettes can cause plenty of them.

One of the most common ways cigarettes accomplish this goal is to destroy your lungs and breathing ability. Who knows for sure there will be enough money to take care of your needs when you can no longer breath on your own. In fact, if money gets too tight and you can't work, affording cigarettes will be a real problem then. So insurance shopping will be a good way to spend the afternoon now. By the way, you will have to state that you are going for the insurance because you are planning on becoming a long-term smoker. Insurance companies need to know this so they can adjust your premiums accordingly. If you were to mislead them and say you are a non-smoker, when the disease strikes and you expect payments--you may be in for a terrible shock to find out that you will not collect for signing up under false pretenses.

Another good thought for today is maybe prepay for a plot and funeral arrangements now. You can save a bundle. Most of us don't like to think about such things but it sounds like you are planning for a life and death decision tonight so why not make a number of them.

So again--as long as your goal is to start your slow motion suicide into action, you know what to do. If by any chance you were not really considering going back to smoking till it cripples and kills you--you may want to have some contingency plans set up for tonight too. Maybe take the money that is going to be earmarked to smoking for the next month, which may be hundreds of dollars and go out and have a really good time treating yourself to things that wont kill you. You will be able to do a lot more of this as long as you always remember to never take another puff!

Joel
Video Title Dial Up High Speed MP3 Length Created
Who wants to go back to smoking? 2.61mb 25.9mb 3.22mb 07:05 09/28/06

"Then I got a disturbing phone call from my land lord. I am lonley, I have no friends, no boyfriend just two small kids (2&4). My house is always a mess, I cannot seem to get organized, And I cannot sleep at night" - How will smoking help any of this?

Life may be easier as a smoker? Nope. It will be shorter, it will be illness afflicted, it will be stinky, bank balance reducing, social pariah making etc etc. So clearly, you have a decision to make. You can smoke and adversely affect your own life and your children's lives in ways that you may perhaps not even comprehend now.....or you can buckle down and reinforce your quit and emerge on the other side of this bump stronger and in control of your own destiny.

We're pulling for you.........you'll get pointed in the direction of many threads that suit your circumstance - but you'll need to read 'em all and look at this crave in the cold hard light of this education. Revisit the reasons why you quit. Spend time at Why quit and Freedom and read as much as your time permits. In the ultimate analysis, that is what will save your quit (and possibly your life too).

Best wishes and continued success with your quit.
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RobinS614
RobinS614

May 6th, 2008, 9:15 pm #7

From: soulagement0 Sent: 5/6/2008 6:34 PM
Hey there, don't give in, nothing about a cigareete is going to improve anything you are going through. It will only give you a very temporary relief from withdrawal and then you'll be right back on the roller coaster. Cigarettes can give you nothing but dependence. And it sounds like that is the last thing you need. I don't know how long ago you quit, but it sounds like it will pass.

Just remember a smoke cannot make your situation any better. It will only make you feel weaker. You've got nothing going for you? You sure do! You're quit. You're strong. And that kind of strength is going to find its way into the rest of your life.

Just for this hour. Just for today. Don't go buy that stupid pack of smokes that's gonna' make you feel 100 times worse than you do right now... again and again and again.

Sending you lots of support from the other side of the Atlantic...

Sara


Edited for language
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