Last Line of Defense (or Trump Card)

Subconscious use cue extinguishment
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

28 Sep 2002, 08:40 #26

This is just so superb. Now why in the world does it make me want to cry-------------Lilac
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:02

02 Oct 2002, 21:23 #27

Can't believe I haven't seen this post before (personally, I think it should be on the "Advice 4 Newbies" page). And it makes me want to cry too Lilac...I think it is the fact that I can actually go back in time and see that my "pillars of strength" oldbies were once where I am...at the bottom of that endless mountain, struggling towards the summit one day at a time. Plus OBob is so wise and comforting...sometimes all I need to do is think of his trademark coffee cup and I remember that this IS doable. Thanks for all of the wisdom you share Bob...it is truly priceless.

Sincerely,
Mary Kate

Feeling the healing for 1 Week 1 Day 7 Hours 23 Minutes 30 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 249. Money saved: $62.31.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

03 Oct 2002, 10:12 #28

Just for the record Mary Kate.... it's tea.

YQB,

Bob (creepin' up on 9 months)
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

03 Oct 2002, 14:21 #29

OBob, what a wonderful thread to bring up for any of us quitters who may be struggling today. You have the amazing gift to be able to say what other people are thinking, but cannot express well enough for others to understand. This is in no way meant to insult you or anyone reading this ... there you are, I am obviously one of those who cannot get my words across clearly enough.
Anyway, bingo!
Sue
4 months, 1 week.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

31 Oct 2002, 00:22 #30

A good, practical tool for us during bad days.

, Sarah
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

03 Jan 2003, 06:00 #31

If you're having a hard day or struggling with the moment, this might just be the ticket for you. After all, the author and holder of that TRUMP CARD will be gold in just a few days and definitely knows of what he speaks.

, Sarah (5 Months, 4 Weeks, 1 Day, 6 Hours, 12 Minutes, 13 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 3645. Money saved: $776.42).
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:38

22 Jan 2003, 12:51 #32

Wow! Thanks. That's exactly how I feel tonight.
(in fact i remember this point in all of my other, un-educated, but well-planned, but unsuccessful, quits in the past. It's where I always lost before)


I think I'll put us both to bed and not smoke tonight.
Three days, 20 hours, 23 minutes and 19 seconds. 153 cigarettes not smoked, saving $23.10. Life saved: 12 hours, 45 minutes.

I do love clicking that button though.


dd
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

18 Apr 2003, 11:12 #33

That was a terrific piece for me to read right now.

I had a rough day today and my junkie thinking was trying to kick in and it was a struggle. I came across this one from a link on a different threat. Thanks Bob, I'm going to have a TRUMP card close by for me too!

Freegirl,

Nic free for 1 week, 4 days, 16 minutes. Yeah hoo!!! NTAP
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

06 May 2003, 10:21 #34

I control my hands, my mouth and my wallet. Only I can make the decision to keep my freedom, or submit to slavery.

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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

06 May 2003, 21:25 #35

Yes friends, this post was written 16 months ago...by a newbie who had been quit for two weeks. Today that person is a comfortable ex-smoker who celebrated Gold months ago. He made it through and so can you!

Thanks OBob!

MareBear

11 months, 1 week...tick tick tick
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:39

06 May 2003, 22:09 #36

I HAVE USED THE TRUMP CARD STRATEGY MYSELF OVER THE PAST FEW WEEKS. GUESS WHAT, IT WORKS!! THANKS, BOB. WHAT A GEM!!!

SIL
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

10 Nov 2003, 22:16 #37

As Lotus referenced in tiday;s Parade.
Keep your Quit in front of you and this in your back pocket.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

10 Nov 2003, 22:49 #38

I was using this trump card right from the beginning of this quit.
It has to be there, and it doesn't have to be used as a last resort.
If I had a pistol, a rifle, and a cannon, I might fire the cannon at the enemy first.
The trump card is my cannon.
My trump card is -- no matter what happens today, literally NO MATTER WHAT, I am not going to use nicotine. Whatever good or bad things happen, nicotine use isn't going to be one of them.

Your post story details a time that you ignored the standard recover wisdom of HALT: don't get too hungry angry lonely or tired. That is good advice. Generally those perception distorters will beef up the junkie mind, as happened to you. However, there has to be a gut level decision not to give any floor or hearing to the pleadings of the junkie mind. That is why I have not cut back too much on coffee. I'm not quitting coffee I'm quitting nicotine. I've cut back a little, because I don't need as much to get the kick. Coffee makes an urge spring up, but I ignore the urge.
I feel better if I exercise, but if I don't exercise because God forbid I sprain my ankle, that doesn't mean I can use. If it causes more daily urges so be it.

Prior to the use, there is a handing of the mental control of as you say "the hand mouth wallet and keys" to the junkie. That can't be done. Ever.

Cheers
Edson
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

06 Dec 2003, 09:35 #39

"Reached in the pocket, and pulled out the trump card -- "I ain't gonna smoke today," I said. Simple, effective. It doesn't matter that my junky mind is (for the moment) winning the debate over how good or bad cigarettes taste, and over how good or bad the experience of smoking is, my reasonable ex-smoker side has veto power. Since quitting, that side took custody of my wallet, hands and mouth. Without those 3 assets, the junky side has only the power to make me feel rotten; but not to relapse.
The reasonable side knew that "I ain't gonna smoke today" was the final word, and spoke it. End of debate. Like a parent to an unreasonable child throwing a tantrum, "BECAUSE I SAID SO!". So, the junky sulked for the rest of the night, screaming, and stomping and generally annoying me, but had no power to touch my quit."--OBob-Gold

Thanks for that little pearl of wisdom Bob. If the junkie doesn't have control of MY money, hands or mouth, not even he can MAKE me smoke or otherwise use today.

It is also nice for us newbies to see how some of the Gold members handled their early quits. Shows me that we are all human.

yqb, David Four weeks, 11 hours, 33 minutes and 13 seconds. 512 cigarettes not smoked, saving $38.45. Life saved: 1 day, 18 hours, 40 minutes.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

06 Dec 2003, 10:04 #40

All human, and all addicts. I remember that day like it was last week. Passing each store that could have produced a relapse-inducing pack with a stubbornness I'd lacked in previous attempts.

I finally accepted that it was okay to be miserable for a while. There was no sugar-coating it... I felt like pulling my hair out (what little of it there is) at times. But, I made a rational decision that being miserable was okay... and accepted on faith that it was temporary.

In previous attempts, I operated under the motus that everything was fine as long as I felt okay. Sometimes, I'd feel okay for a couple of days. Then, the challenge would come, and I'd capitulate... either unwilling to absorb the blows, or - more likely - under the false impression that the first blows were just the first in a lifetime of them to come.

This day, January 18th, 2002, I just decided... "okay, I'm miserable. For now. So what! It ****, but it's only for a while." Having the good folks here at Freedom to assure me that all this was temporary made it a logical decision. No, I couldn't make myself feel better on January 18th... but I knew I was investing in a longer-term comfort.

Did you ever see "The Shawshank Redemption"? Where the main character crawls through a 3 foot diameter sewer pipe for a couple hundred yards to escape prison? The pipe was the bridge. Unpleasant as it gets. But, he knew what was behind him if he turned back (prison).... and what was in front of him if he endured (freedom). He chose to endure it, and "came out clean on the other side".

We've all got to cross that bridge. For some of us it's easier than for others... but however hard it is, it's a temporary investment. The other side, in this case, IS greener.

YQB,

Bob (23 months free)
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

06 Dec 2003, 10:13 #41

"it's a temporary investment"

And the rewards are beyond imagination, thanks Bob.

Wilson ~ 1 month, 26 days, 23 hours, 11 minutes and 49 seconds (57 days).
I've not smoked 2279 death sticks, and saved $203.28.
I've saved 7 day(s), 22 hour(s) of my life.
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:38

22 Jan 2004, 21:59 #42

I REALLY like this idea! A "Trump Card." Smashing! This is an oldie but goodie post ...

For some reason I perceive that things have become more difficult in the past few days. My resolve seems to be waning a bit.

It started with my 12 year old daughter saying "Mom, I think it's great that you have quit smoking but it has done nothing for your attitude." I was shocked and hurt I thought I was doing a tremendous job and that most of my "meanness" was being safely concealed within my own head. This left me feeling so sorry for myself that I instantly thought of running back to cigarettes. Even though I whole-heartedly quit for myself, my junkie mind told me that "I should just give this sham up this instant." After all, you quit for that "ingrate" and this is the thanks you get. Hrmph! I'll show her ... yadda-yadda-yadda ...

Then, I remembered an article or post that I read here about triggers and another one about people being insensitive to a recovering nicotine addict and saying things that they wouldn't say to a "cranky" chemo patient fighting for their survival. It was still a very difficult night, filled with those "smoking dreams" I have also read about here. It is two days later and I have managed to survive albeit, barely. I am still feeling a bit shaky but I realize that it will take time to feel better - just time NOT NICOTINE!

All of this is to say that, including this post about carrying a trump card (which I will create and print as soon as I finish my thoughts here) this site has been able to help me every step and at every stage of my quit so far. There are literally answers to every issue that you encounter along the way. And, "no matter what happens today; NO MATTER WHAT, I am not going to use nicotine" is always at the root of each message that you must embrace if you are going to be a successful quitter for "life."

KC
I have been free for 1 Week, 3 Days, 15 hours, 56 minutes and 40 seconds (10 days). I have saved $27.98 for new shoes by not smoking 159 cigarettes. I have saved 13 hours and 15 minutes of my life.
Last edited by Ima GoldDustWoman on 01 Mar 2014, 20:33, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

02 Feb 2004, 01:33 #43

Debating with our junkie selves takes us in circles. Sometimes we need to just grit our teeth and get through the tough moments. Recognizing that the journey out of active addiction is not fun and games. It is hard, life-saving work that provides a huge pay-off.

No nicotine today. Not one puff. No matter what.

Parker - 19 months
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:10

09 Mar 2004, 00:39 #44

Hi Bob,

A Sunnyvale, California native writing from CT. I'm glad you've made the quit. I"m 3 weeks in, and am loving it. I know exactly what you're going through. When those big bad craves hit, that's when I chant to myself...Never..Take...Another... Puff. It's really a wonderful thing to make the right choices when faced with craves and having a better hold on this beast of an addiction. Keep it up Bob! Keep the quit!!

Juanita
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

09 Mar 2004, 04:47 #45

Thanks Juanita,

Actually, this post is a little dated, at over 2 years old.

The old-fashioned stubbornness that got me through this episode, coupled with a relentless willingness to confront each challenge with the truth about my addiction ultimately saw me through to the promised land, where it really is MUCH BETTER.

At 2 years and change, the challenges associated with quitting are a distant memory. Nowadays, as far as my quit goes, it's comfort, thankfulness that I did it, and a firm confidence... Confidence that comes from a solid understanding that my comfort is secure so long as I never take another puff... but lost if I do... so I never will. Simple as that.

Thanks again for the thoughts. I found that giving support here ended up being one of the most effective ways of supporting myself. If I could tell it to others with conviction, I couldn't disregard it myself.

YQB,

Bob (2 years free and clean)
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

10 Mar 2004, 04:51 #46

What an awesome post! Great example of mind over matter. You put it in a great perspective. Thanks

Kathleen - Free and Healing for Six Days, 16 Hours and 42 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 8 Hours, by avoiding the use of 100 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $44.21.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

10 Mar 2004, 04:54 #47

-also, I do realize that this is very old. But that makes it almost better. I have read many of your posts but it helps to have you going through the same things us newbies are, and doing it so well.

Kathleen
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

21 Apr 2004, 06:05 #48

i am very appreciative of this thread. it is a great reminder that some days will be simply rotten, but they don't take away from the good days that i've had, and they can't destroy tomorrow either.
"the trump card" does work; i shouted "NO!" to myself when i was driving last week, as if i was telling the inner junkie to shut up 'cuz i wasn't giving into her. thanks for putting this into perspective bob.

ahnaka
One week, two days, 18 hours, 34 minutes and 14 seconds. 146 cigarettes not smoked, saving $38.48. Life saved: 12 hours, 10 minutes.
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:33

21 Apr 2004, 06:11 #49

thanks for bringing it up ahnaka,its a real good one (thanx BOB)
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 18:58

24 Apr 2004, 03:09 #50

TRUMP CARD:
I'm not going to smoke today.
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