Justifications

c0ldskool
c0ldskool

February 3rd, 2007, 3:35 pm #1

On Feb 11, it will have been two months exactly since I've quit. I CANNOT believe that after almost two entire months, I am having such strong and such lasting cravings! This is bull!

It gets to the point where I just don't want to do anything at all and all I do is sit around and feel depressed about how terrible life is to quit smoking. So now I start trying to make justifications. In my head I think... well, If all I can do is think about smoking then I will never get anything done, so, maybe I will just go and buy one pack so that I can just "get it over with" and do all the stuff I've been putting off. Thats where Im at right this minute, on the verge of buying that pack. I am sooooo tired of thinking about smoking that I just want to do it and get it over with, but then what about next weekend?? If I do it this weekend, whats to stop me from doing it next weekend? nothing. If I really thought I could just go and buy one more pack, I'd do it, but deep down I REALLY DO WANT TO QUIT and I fear I will just start right back up.

Since quit, I have not cheated once. Two entire months and these cravings (especially on Friday nights) are still every bit as powerful as they were during my first week. How long is it going to take? 3 months? 6 months? EVER?? I would rather be dead (or on my way to it) than feel like this all the time.

Here's another justification, I feel that if I were to go buy a pack and then smoke in moderation (2 or 3 a day), then now I control my addiction, which in turn would make me feel like I have control over my conscious activities and decisions, which ultimately would make me feel a lot better about myself in general. If I could just smoke the "good ones" life would be wonderful.
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megsfolly
megsfolly

February 3rd, 2007, 4:31 pm #2

"Just think about something else."
Fixating on a cigarette.
The Top Ten Reasons Why Quits Fail
My Cigarette, My Friend?
Stronger or Smarter?

Two months is marvellous, I've included some threads above I hope they help. Stay true to your quit it really is worth it. As for just smoking moderatley- people like you and I can't do that - we are nicotine addicts and that means 1 puff = all 0 puffs = freedom!!

Right now it may seem like this quit is taking over everything and you can't think of anything else but with time the amount of thought you give to smoking will diminish

Take care my quit sis

Meg xx Free and Healing for 124 days.
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katsrule8
katsrule8

February 3rd, 2007, 5:00 pm #3

COME ON

Really you have to recognise these as triggers, its all out of your sytem they are only memories.
I would give anything to have just one puff 'Dead guy out of the movie Ghost' I sometimes think the same, but I know that I would not stop at one. This is the first time in my entire adult life (I turn 55 on Monday) that I have not had a smoke in nearly five months, mate to me that is awesome - I hardly think of smoking, my husband lights up every night, and I sooooooo want one (only for one nano second) - I am really lucky I am cruising this through - but I know maybe one day I will need the support of this group - but you know this was my time, I am hoping this was your time to I am aiming for Gold and then some
Education is the key - Never Taking Another Puff is the cure

Suzie
130 days and I will make silver
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Chipits GOLD.ffn
Chipits GOLD.ffn

February 3rd, 2007, 6:11 pm #4

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Chipits GOLD.ffn
Chipits GOLD.ffn

February 3rd, 2007, 6:17 pm #5

Welcome to Freedo, cOldskool!
Almost double green......congrats!!
You don't think I used the bargaining schtick of junkie thinking too? Oh, a number of times , in my relapse past and also in the early weeks of this quit I heard the chatter...it went something like this>>
""Maybe I could just have one with my coffee in the morning and then one after lunch, a mid-afternoon "treat", an after dinner one too and then a freebie cigarette for whatever "special " time comes up during the day. Keep it 5 or under per day...At least you won't be smoking as much.....ya, right! Maybe just 2 or 3 of the 100 mm. cigarettes then?.....how about a couple of menthols?"" Well this never worked for me in the past and I am too educated now to ever think it is going to work now...Within days I was back to my old level of smoking and the motivation to quit went up in a puff of smoke.....that was many many years ago...
We wouldn't be here in Whyquit/Freedom if we truly could "control" this addiction......Truth is we can't! What we can do is either feed it til it preys on us with a disease or premature death , or stay quit , and learn to live nicotine free...I do hope you realize that what is going on in your head is temporary and in no way indicates what a comfortable ex-smoker feels or thinks.....You say your desire deep down is "I really do want to quit"....You don't need to want this because the good news is you have already quit, for all the good reasons that brought you here in the first place...Always remember this decision to be nicotine free is your best chance to renew your life, and perhaps may be your only chance to save it... There is no nicotine in your body now that needs to be replaced , and it is your fixation on the aaaahh cigarette that perpetuates the chatter in your head...OK, so you want a smoke, it is ok to admit it, but knowing that the reality is all of them or none of them, are you prepared to have that puff "last" you for a day, a month a lifetime ? or will it set the ball rolling again to set up the surety of the roller coaster ride of replacing your nicotine levels every half hour or so....It is the smoker who always thinks about smoking>>>keeping the supplies up to date, planning where he can smoke, listening to the junkie in his head as to when the next fix has to take place ; allowing his junkie thinking to dictate how much he spends on this addiction and always in the back of his head, the nagging litle voice of reality that cuts through the fog of addiction and says, "some day you know you will have to quit" .Living like that doesn't sound liberating and comfortable! .. Have you ever said, you would quit "some day"?..When is "some day" anyhow?... ..Did you ever say , as I did, that you would quit when cigarettes got to $1. a pack? I did, and yet I didn't quit til they were over $7. a pack here in Canada..Does that sound like I was in control? .Most of us here have used most every excuse and justification in the book to carry on our addiction until we got educated...until we wanted the control back from this addiction...As I mentioned before ,
We cannot control this addiction when we are using...we can only control this addiction when we are not.....It sounds like your fears have imprisoned you with immobility.... This too is a choice you are making, in avoiding triggers or situations...You didn't get this far without confronting many triggers...How did you handle them up til now? Mantra? Breathing? Diversion? Crutches? Reading? Taking a shower? Going for a walk? Phoning a support friend? ..Taking a nap?
I smoked for 39 years... I was no stranger to punctuating every task, phone call, car ride, meal, sunset, campfire, social drink, party, outing, hike, baby shower, wedding, amorous actiivity, Christmas, Thanksgiving, family times, computer time, talk times, walk times, cry times, sigh times, tearful times, fearful times, or ANY TIME without a cigarette!!! But you know what? I want to keep on enjoying every one of the things I have mentioned above, by virtue of being there , without an oxygen tank or 'being there' in a photo on the mantle because I have died from a smoking-related disease....Nicotine did not make any of those activities enjoyable...They already were.....I was feeding an addiction and had habituated every thing in my life around my drug of choice...It is sad really, but I am over it, forgave myself and am walking in the newness of life of freedom from tobacco....and when you give it time, your desire will be to stay free as you embrace the comfort that will find you....Look at the time , effort, money and health you have given over to this addiction...Do you not owe it to yourself to give this your best effort and give yourself time to heal? Do you really believe you will feel better for smoking again? or are you implying you wish the tough times would hurry up and be done with? ..Be patient... Keep getting educated here, and take one day at a time ; see this addiction for what it does to you>>>destruction.....see Freedom for what it does for you>>construction of a life free free from nicotine....Use your quit tools to build it and you WILL dwell in its serenity..Thank you for turning to the forum, and not the drug.........Wise choice, better life...Never Take Another Puff!
Wendy -----free and healing for 6 months and 27 days...
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ANNIE.ffn
ANNIE.ffn

February 3rd, 2007, 10:20 pm #6

You are doing so good to almost be at two months of your quit. Be more kind to yourself. You have made a huge change and things will seem out of whack for a while but will get feeling normal again. Just remember if you give up your quit and than get heart or lung problems you will sit around and be depressed with no hope of it getting better. Read this site of others who thought just one would help and were back to thier old habit for years without having the strength to quit again. Those thoughts you are having are lies don't believe them.

Keep going you will be so glad you did.

Annie
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Just Hannes
Just Hannes

February 3rd, 2007, 10:59 pm #7

Hi,

Congratulations with your almost 2 months quit!
Also congratulations with the stage you are in: The depression stage. I cannot find the link here but you have to go 5 stages while quiting. Depression is the last stage.So you're almost there.

I also am almost 2 months free now and I know exactly what you mean.
I also think 24 hours a day about smoking. I also get tired of it.

You cannot force it to go away. The more you think about how you think about smoking the more you think about smoking. I even think it's not thinking about smoking but thinking about your quit.

Don't think about a yellow monkey sitting on your head. See you think of it.
The monkey will not go away. You think it again now!
Now you think again about the yellow monkey and you didn't think about smoking!

But I also think that it will go away. I don't think all the silver/gold/double gold etc. people here are liars when they say they don't think for weeks anymore about smoking.
I believe them. Also the NTAP is really hammered in my head. Whatever happens how much I will think of smoking or quiting or whatever I will never ever take that puff. Tomorrow it will be better. If not tomorrow next week but today I will not smoke.

I put up a string for you: 3 years vs. 3 days which is contstant in my mind.

Please read it and cu on deck.

Oh in case you decided to start smoking again please read this first:
"I made a conscious decision to smoke."

Frits (almost double green)
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JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

February 4th, 2007, 12:07 am #8

Another way of saying or using 'Justifications' to return to smoking tobacco and become again dependently needing to ingest the addictive agent nicotine is called Junkie thinking.

Junkie's lies? - Yep! They sure are not true.
Just one little puff? = LIE
Just one or two = Another common justification lie.
You smoke because you're a smoke-a-holic! = Truth

Time to get serious! Truth

Tearing down the wall is hard work but a necessary to put our addiction in chains, not the other way around.

Reading and Growth is the key to living nicotine free.

So where does the story end?

The final truth

You have the power to change your life and live nicotine free as you are meant to truly live. Don't insist on allowing yourself to beleive smoking defined you. Smoking tobacco and stayin actively dependent upon nicotine defiles you. Do not allow youself to be defeated - by your fals beliefs.

Quitting smoking is not a problem - it is a SOLUTION!



JoeJFree - knowing it is in my power to choose whether I allow nicotine into my body. I've chosen the easier life for 754 days by remaining in control of me by NTAP!
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ZZRSteve GOLD
ZZRSteve GOLD

February 4th, 2007, 12:26 am #9

Howdy. I was where you are now. I was very jealous of other folks here announcing their comfort. It took me a long time to come to grips with my addiction and for me to get truly comfortable. How long? It doesn't matter. My quit is my quit and yours is yours. The important thing is this: Comfort will come. Be patient. Read here. Trust. Some days you just have to gut it out. Sometimes those days run together but what's a little discomfort now compared to a lifetime of glory?

Read these please:

The 1st 72 Hours (I know, but just do it.)
Turning the Corner... Acceptance (Boy, did this one ever help?!)
Nicotine Addiction 101 (I read this many times. It never failed to get me mad and to enforce my quit.)

I know it's not easy sometimes but it is simple. As long as you NTAP you have a 100% chance of coming through this and putting your nicotine addiction behind you forever. Hang tough! It's worth it!

Steve 2Y,8M.
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c0ldskool
c0ldskool

February 4th, 2007, 7:10 am #10

Thanks for all the replies.. I made it past last night. I feel fine today.. I dont know what it is about Friday nights but they are horrible for me. Its like I start to think about a certain taste in my mouth which is a combination of a physical taste and a psychological urge that wants a cigarette and it just festers into a gaping desire to go buy "just one pack" and just talking about it and thinking about it makes it start to come back.. so enough of that.

I am so glad that when I woke up this morning there wasn't a half smoked pack of cigs laying around somewhere.

I am still trying to justify cheating but I will save it for another forum.. thanks again.
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JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

February 4th, 2007, 7:43 am #11

Why so hard on cheating?

Try replacing the word "cigarette" with "nicotine

Being honest about our addiction

Whether here or at another forum, the fact remains There is no legitimate reason to relapse

JoeJ Free - Recovered Me Two Years, Twenty Four Days, 8 Hours and 28 Minutes ago. I've now reclaimed 65 Days and 11 Hours of my life's time, by choosing to not use of 18859 death delivery devices and accumulated $3,891.15 in the 'freedom dividend' account.
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

February 4th, 2007, 8:55 am #12


In fairness to new struggling quitters looking in, who may be falsely led to believe that early withdrawal type symptoms can last for two months. They don't. Please note that this is this member's first post EVER to Freedom. Now, don't get us wrong. We have no problem with members who join and read here with us and choose not to post because they feel secure or strong in their quit.

But it is highly unusual for our members to be teaching many of the lessons shared here so late in a person's quit (Nicotine Addiction 101 & fixating). But being the caring hearts they are they have no choice. How do they know that this member has not taken the time to master the basics? After years of working with new quitters they see it in comments like this:
"Since quit, I have not cheated once."
Kind of a moot comment to make at a forum where no one cheats because it is a basic premise that there is no such word as cheating when it comes to addiction. And they also read this:
"Here's another justification, I feel that if I were to go buy a pack and then smoke in moderation (2 or 3 a day), then now I control my addiction, which in turn would make me feel like I have control over my conscious activities and decisions, which ultimately would make me feel a lot better about myself in general. If I could just smoke the "good ones" life would be wonderful."
Justifications? Aside from the numerous lessons cited, how many more lessons do we have here at Freedom in which the theme is that nicotine addicts cannot smoke nicotine in moderation? This person has not accepted the concept of addiction, that they, like us, are a true drug addict in every sense. Will the valuable lessons shared by caring members so late in this quit convince this member otherwise? We certainly hope so but their track record of learning and growing in their dependency understanding is not encouraging.

Knowledge and power yet our ability to support those who insist on quitting in darkeness is not good. We're pulling for you bigtime but unless your objective is to become a statistic you're going to have to do some pulling too. This link is to Joel's free book. We strongly encourage a one time cover to cover read. He's devoted his entire life, full time, to working with people like us and it would be a shame for you not to have the benefit of what he's learned.

Still just one rule ... no nicotine today, Never Take Another Puff!

John (Gold x7)


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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

February 4th, 2007, 8:58 am #13

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c0ldskool
c0ldskool

February 4th, 2007, 9:27 am #14

John.. just don't try to kid or sugar coat it for new quitters.. quitting is hard regardless how much information I/they have or haven't read and I do appreciate the fact that Joel has spend a majority of his time putting it together.
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Just Hannes
Just Hannes

February 4th, 2007, 10:37 am #15

Hi cOldskool,

You are 100% right.
I thought many times the same about sugar coating it (What a nice language English)

Without this sugar coating it you would not be here now.
You didn't take the puff you didn't relapse because of this site and you.

I could pull up strings with uggly pictures to remind you that hard is something we don't really kno. We don't know how hard it is the last months before we die because of a smoking disease. But I guess you saw them all.

Don't take another puff is not sugared up it's hard yes; stick to it. There is not one silver or gold one here who complains. Try to find an unhappy ex-smoker in your environment. They exist yes. Unhappy because they devorced; they broke a leg; they lost a job or whatever but there are no ex-smokers unhappy about the fact they don't smoke anymore.

Use your weapons you got for free here and don't throw away 2 months.

Frits (For me it's much more easier because I know that I will die at the first puff I will take. I used to smoke 4 packs a day 2 months ago; I thank god on my knees every day I found this site and yes it's hard.)
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jojo
jojo

February 4th, 2007, 11:30 am #16

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Jason10016
Jason10016

June 10th, 2007, 11:26 am #17

Did your Friday night issues ever stop, cOldskool?
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