If you fall down just pick yourself up and dust yourself off

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

25 Jul 2003, 00:40 #11

There was some discussion about a book on the market about smoking cessation. Even though the specific book mentioned doesn't endorse this philosophy (at least I don't think it does) there are plenty of books and pamphlets out there that do. I thought the post and the comment below is an important concept to reinforce here.

Joel

Image This is an important string for people getting advice from other professional sources. If you get brochures from almost any professional organization on smoking cessation, there is likely going to be a line somewhere in the body of the piece that in essence says, "Don't let a puff put you back to smoking." This line all but negates whatever quality information may be in that piece. It is like telling an alcoholic not to let a drink put them back to drinking or a heroin addict not to let a little injection put them back to using. The message must be the same with smoking as with any other drug addiction--if you want to stay free you must not administer the substance--no matter how long you have been off. In simpler terms then when talking about cigarettes the message needs to be that if you want to stay smoke free you must never take another puff!

Joel
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Lyverbyrd
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

25 Jul 2003, 02:49 #12

There is a site I have visited in the past (very much now in the past!) to aid with my goal in quitting smoking, which lives by the words of the old chinese proverb,
"fall down seven times, get up eight."

Admirable thoughts in most of life's trials; but not this one.

Nicotine free for::
Twenty Three Days, 21 Hours and 48 Minutes, by avoiding the use of 598 death sticks that would have cost me £138.21.
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

17 Aug 2003, 21:06 #13

I brought up this string and the above post (37) because it shows how we have many different views than other sites. The original post and the comment above was written before our November 2002 policy change. Just for clarity I am going to attach what that change was.

Joel

I saw where a member wrote tonight that because of a tragic situation she was thinking she should just smoke and quit again once she got through the bad time period. We have designed Freedom to take care of such logic. You cannot relapse with the intention that you will just come back and quit again. Relapsing is a commitment to smoke and forever forgo participating at Freedom again. Harsh you may say. Well yes it is, but it is because you have to be harsh with yourself if you are going to keep on top of this addiction. Give cigarettes and inch and they will take your life. If you want to stay smoke free always remember why you first committed and are still committed to never take another puff!

Joel
Freedom's New
No Relapse Policy
(Implemented November 2002)
Freedom's relapse policy is about to undergo additional evolution. Athough every visitor to the site will have 100% access to Freedom's over 130,000 archived posts, to Joel's entire library and to all of our resources at WhyQuit, any future relapse will disqualify that member from again participating in the group. The rule applies across the board, to me as well as you. Not only will this destroy any junkie thinking that my mind might have been able to muster in time of crisis about being able to return, the new policy will not permit me to return if I should relapse.
Not only is there no legitimate excuse for relapse at Freedom, there is no relapse at Freedom. This isn't a matter of asking members to value their group participation and use that as justification for not relapsing. That's akin to a quit crutch. It's a matter of asking each of us to value this forum as a serious site, to honor the principles upon which its built, and to respect the right of others to find sanctuary in one little corner of the earth where nicotine has no voice.
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

09 Feb 2004, 18:36 #14

Relapsing is a commitment to smoke and forever forgo participating at Freedom again. Harsh you may say. Well yes it is, but it is because you have to be harsh with yourself if you are going to keep on top of this addiction. Give cigarettes and inch and they will take your life. If you want to stay smoke free always remember why you first committed and are still committed to never take another puff!
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wackylaurie
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:33

09 Feb 2004, 21:41 #15

Hi Joel,
Your Relapse Policy is one of the things that attracted me to this site.

So everyone be careful here--don't work with the very false perception that if you relapse that you will simply come back and quit again. There is no guarantee that you will in fact be able to come back and worse than that, there is no guarantee that you will even muster up the strength or desire to come back to quit again or quit again even without us. You may be sentencing yourself back to smoking. To keep your membership--and more important to keep your health and your life always remember your promise and commitment that you made to yourself when first joining up here to never take another puff!

It does take a lot of strength and energy to quit. It is not easy to quit!
Worse than this though, they make others feel that relapsing is no big deal--and that hurts everyone here--especially our newest members and lurkers who may not really recognize yet that quitting smoking truly requires a one hundred percent commitment to never take another puff no matter what.

I am someone who is very glad you don't allow the posting of relapses. Misery loves misery. Failure loves failure. I want positive vibes coming my way!

Thanks for a great site!

ImageLaurie


One month, one week, one day, 8 hours, 40 minutes and 22 seconds. 1180 cigarettes not smoked, saving $162.36. Life saved: 4 days, 2 hours, 20 minutes.
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

09 Feb 2004, 21:52 #16

Hello Laurie:

Actually the passage you quoted above was written before we etched in stone that if a person relapsed they were going to permanently lose their posting privileges. I wrote the above quote in August of 2002 and then in November of 2002 we took out any doubt in the matter. A relapse would permanently cause a person to lose membership posting privileges.

Below is a quote I use in the string Good news, our members don't relapse anymore... that further clarifies the benefit of this policy:
The primary benefactor of this policy is each and every member himself or herself. We have made it very easy for each and every member to have a clearly defined spelled out battle line. No longer does a person have the luxury of thinking, "Well if I relapse, I'll go to Freedom and quit again." We have in effect destroyed what to some people can be a very persuasive argument supporting a kind of junkie thinking.

For the majority of people here this policy poses no threat and makes the each and every members mission here that much more clearly defined. It was what their intent was the day they first signed up to Freedom. To stay a member of Freedom, and more important, to keep the health and life saving benefits of staying a successful ex-smoker is as simple now as just remembering to stay totally committed to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joanne Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

15 Oct 2004, 00:09 #17

For Ann, because of a comment she had to deal with.....
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Ann
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:02

15 Oct 2004, 01:16 #18

Thanks--this was a perfect thread to read. I really do appreciate it.Image

Ann
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JoeJFree Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

20 Mar 2006, 20:11 #19

"We do have lots and lots of members who have had multiple quits in their past. But the truth be known, we don't have lots and lots of members who have multiple quits since first joining Freedom. We have a handful but the majority of our membership really works at getting learning as much as they can when having first joined and have really committed to giving a 100 percent commitment to making this quit stick--treating their quits as if their lives depend on it. For in fact the health and life of all of our members do depend on."

"Relapsing is a commitment to smoke and forever forgo participating at Freedom again. Harsh you may say. Well yes it is, but it is because you have to be harsh with yourself if you are going to keep on top of this addiction. Give cigarettes and inch and they will take your life. If you want to stay smoke free always remember why you first committed and are still committed to never take another puff!"
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nand814
Joined: 12 Jan 2009, 22:10

13 Jul 2006, 22:01 #20

I think that the policy is a good thing. It helps us to really look at our quits, from the educated perspective, and realize just how important it is to NTAP. As I said in my first post, the material available on this stie is empowering, affirming, and an education. I thank you for this site, AND all of your policies. Here, I have learned that Knowledge really IS Power.
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