I Want "Something"

Retraining the conscious mind
Parker GOLD
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

23 Oct 2004, 02:09 #51

The wise words of Mrs. Triple-Gold Toast......

I'd say the "I want .... something" during the 2, 3, 4 month or so was a surprise to me ... usually, it was wanting to step out on the porch and to have a smoke .... that was something I did several times a day, and so I can't be surprised that I noticed myself not doing it!

But do you know what I remember from before I ever smoked??? I remember having that "I want .... something" feeling too. I think maybe some of that has to do being young and not being adept or experienced enough yet to know and name my desires. Maybe smoking plugged that hole some ... giving me something I could "choose" for myself whenever I wanted - didn't depend on anyone else's vote (just my falling nicotine levels). Maybe smoking plugged that hole a little too by numbing out my emotions and making any deep inspection of my satisfaction or dissatisfaction less urgent sometimes.

Maybe once we get past the initial high drama of quitting smoking - the physical sensations, the most pressing psychological triggers, etc. - we rediscover a little bit of us that's waited stuck all those years for a chance to say, "Hey, I want ... something." And now, rather than it being about smoking, we get a chance to realize it's really about growing up, learning to know and name and act responsibly upon our desires.

Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 00:21

04 Nov 2004, 08:05 #52

Dear Dave,
I know what you're talking about. After the first 72 hours, the biggest challenge has been filling my "smoking" time with other activities. When I am bored or I'm finished doing something (when it's slow at work, or I'm finished doing a chore at home etc.) is when I think about having a smoke. I keep reminding myself of how poorly I felt when I was smoking and how tough the first 2-3 days of my quit was. I tell myself that the rest is just a matter of giving myself time to learn how to live this new life without smoking.

1 week, 2 days, 21 hours & 27 minutes smoke-free, 128 cigarettes not smoked, $44.80 saved, 10 hours & 40 minutes of my life saved. My quit date is October 24, 2004.

Sal GOLD.ffn
Joined: 16 Jan 2003, 08:00

04 Nov 2004, 11:19 #53

Sometimes that Something is something so normal.
As nicotine addicts we have a few things to re-learn about that Something feeling, and sometimes they include:
Recognizing needs

Last edited by Sal GOLD.ffn on 15 Nov 2009, 14:24, edited 1 time in total.

Starshinegrl Gold
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

13 Feb 2005, 03:18 #54

Image one of my many favourites ...

Yes, sometimes, the inner junkie tries to tell us that we want a fix ... but do we? The more we listen to our real selves, the more we are going to find out what we really want each time we are confronted with the junkie in us. It never is nicotine.

78 days and a bit

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:31

12 Oct 2005, 18:57 #55

Gitte just suggested this thread for me. Thanks! It's so true and applies so much to what I've been feeling in the past few days, I thought I'd bring it up for any other new people (or oldies to remember!) to read.

It's such a help to find that what I'm feeling is perfectly normal, and that in time it will pass.

Billie Image

Free and healing for 2 Weeks, 3 Days, 12 hours, 24 minutes and 28 seconds (17 days). I have saved € 54,29 by not smoking 350 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 5 hours and 10 minutes of my life.

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:01

03 Feb 2006, 21:52 #56

Hi All,
Came across this post and the original thread while I was "wanting something"
which is most of the time lately.
I know it's not going to be nicotine because after 45 years I don't do that anymore, but I don't feel right, thoughts and feelings keep rising to the surface. Like my Parents dying from smoke related causes, my friend and soul-mate dying from lung cancer just 6 weeks ago, (there was only nine weeks between diagnosis and death) me almost literally smoking while giving birth to my 3 children (you could do that all those years ago) I can't crush these feelings by having a cigarette because I don't smoke anymore. Am I going to cope in the future? I, and most people who know me know that I have always coped with whatever life has thrown at me or anyone else, (albeit with a nicotine stick in my hand) but will I do it without?
This is not me looking for a relapse excuse because this is not going to happen, but I am a little concerned that with my crutch gone, I won't be as strong.
I have read this back and it seems like a load of waffleImage, just a minor panic attack, of course I'll cope, just have to find a different way, others haveImage
SueImage Free 33 & a bit days

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

19 Feb 2006, 09:47 #57

something...but what?? ImageI've had that feeling too...and I knew darn well that it wasn't nicotene that I wanted. also knew that I was not hungry,thirsty or lonely and didn't need sleep. So what????Image
Found comfort in the oddest thing.Image
I used to go outside to smoke, and while I was there, I'd look at a beautiful clump of trees, or the clouds, or maybe the sunset. Since I quit, I stopped going outside at odd times too.Image
Why???? I only quit nicotene, not the enjoyment of those little breaks. So I started going outside, sitting in the same place....and inhaling deeply....but not nicotene, just inhaling fresh air.Image
And ya know what??? it felt great! Just as great as that "ahhhhh' that signalled giving in to the craving before I quit.
I was missing "something"....but NOT the nicotene.Image Nope, I was missing the good things that accompanied the delivery of the nicotene. And I realized that there was no need to give up those good things. Image
So now, when I feel a crave, or trigger, or whatever you want to call it....I follow it to the extent of the goodness involved....and take a big puff...of fresh, free air! AHHHHHHHHHHHH Now that's SOMETHING!Image
I gotta remember that I didn't "give up anything"....I threw away "something" that was bad for me. ANd I can keep all of the other things, cause they don't have anything to do with NTAP!!!!Image
All I have to do is remember my priorities and the truth that I learned here at Freedom....and I can stay free.
annie....free and learning new things for 1 week, 2 days 1 hour and 40 minutes

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

20 Feb 2006, 07:33 #58

This is just what I have been feeling the past couple days,it is not a need for nicotine,food,drink,sleep or any physical thing,it is a feeling of wanting something but not knowing what it is. It is like my subconcious is trying to tell me something but I am just not getting it.We are all adjusting to living life without nicotine and thus dealing with emotions in a whole new way as we find and embrace our pre addict selves which has been lost to some of us for a very long time. Maybe we are like children trying something new for the first time on their own and feeling vunerable and afraid of the unknown.That "something" is our addiction that we used to hide our true selves and mask our emotions and is being replaced by the true ,authentic us!.We have been stripped to our very cores and are learning to comfront live as it should be,head on,and nicotine free! Yes we will feel afraid,vunerable,confused,angry,sad and like something is missing but it will be oh so worth it, because in the end we will find our true selves!
Hanging in there at 49 days!

JoeJFree Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

08 Mar 2006, 09:22 #59

For Melissa - From Mary Kate - Lotus above -
I am FINALLY starting to see hints of the "real me" peeking out for a chance to say "Hey I want...something". And that is an incredible feeling. REALLY listening to your body and making conscious choices about your desires. Sometimes it is difficult for me to realize that I am 27 years old and JUST "getting" this now...and other times I rejoice at the rediscovery of "me". It is scary to enter unknown territory, but even scarier to realize that that "unknown territory" is the real me. Scary and exhilirating all at the same time.

Well, I guess my point besides sparking a conversation on the subject, is to remind all the FREEDOMITES and lurkers out there reading this, that quitting smoking is about much more than ceasing a "dirty habit". It is about rediscovery and reconnection. It is about embracing the "real" you and finding your true path to happiness.

As Toast so eloqently puts it : it's really about growing up, learning to know and name and act responsibly upon our desires.

Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 23:21

10 Mar 2006, 04:50 #60

Thank you. This post should keep me out of trouble for awhile!