I Want "Something"

Retraining the conscious mind
Parker GOLD
Parker GOLD

October 23rd, 2004, 2:09 am #51

The wise words of Mrs. Triple-Gold Toast......

I'd say the "I want .... something" during the 2, 3, 4 month or so was a surprise to me ... usually, it was wanting to step out on the porch and to have a smoke .... that was something I did several times a day, and so I can't be surprised that I noticed myself not doing it!

But do you know what I remember from before I ever smoked??? I remember having that "I want .... something" feeling too. I think maybe some of that has to do being young and not being adept or experienced enough yet to know and name my desires. Maybe smoking plugged that hole some ... giving me something I could "choose" for myself whenever I wanted - didn't depend on anyone else's vote (just my falling nicotine levels). Maybe smoking plugged that hole a little too by numbing out my emotions and making any deep inspection of my satisfaction or dissatisfaction less urgent sometimes.

Maybe once we get past the initial high drama of quitting smoking - the physical sensations, the most pressing psychological triggers, etc. - we rediscover a little bit of us that's waited stuck all those years for a chance to say, "Hey, I want ... something." And now, rather than it being about smoking, we get a chance to realize it's really about growing up, learning to know and name and act responsibly upon our desires.
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LoneNYMom
LoneNYMom

November 4th, 2004, 8:05 am #52

Dear Dave,
I know what you're talking about. After the first 72 hours, the biggest challenge has been filling my "smoking" time with other activities. When I am bored or I'm finished doing something (when it's slow at work, or I'm finished doing a chore at home etc.) is when I think about having a smoke. I keep reminding myself of how poorly I felt when I was smoking and how tough the first 2-3 days of my quit was. I tell myself that the rest is just a matter of giving myself time to learn how to live this new life without smoking.
Jeanette-

---
1 week, 2 days, 21 hours & 27 minutes smoke-free, 128 cigarettes not smoked, $44.80 saved, 10 hours & 40 minutes of my life saved. My quit date is October 24, 2004.
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Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

November 4th, 2004, 11:19 am #53

Sometimes that Something is something so normal.
As nicotine addicts we have a few things to re-learn about that Something feeling, and sometimes they include:
Recognizing needs

Sal
Last edited by Sal GOLD.ffn on November 15th, 2009, 2:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Starshinegrl Gold
Starshinegrl Gold

February 13th, 2005, 3:18 am #54

one of my many favourites ...

Yes, sometimes, the inner junkie tries to tell us that we want a fix ... but do we? The more we listen to our real selves, the more we are going to find out what we really want each time we are confronted with the junkie in us. It never is nicotine.

Gitte
78 days and a bit
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FreeBillie61
FreeBillie61

October 12th, 2005, 6:57 pm #55

Gitte just suggested this thread for me. Thanks! It's so true and applies so much to what I've been feeling in the past few days, I thought I'd bring it up for any other new people (or oldies to remember!) to read.

It's such a help to find that what I'm feeling is perfectly normal, and that in time it will pass.

Billie

Free and healing for 2 Weeks, 3 Days, 12 hours, 24 minutes and 28 seconds (17 days). I have saved € 54,29 by not smoking 350 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 5 hours and 10 minutes of my life.
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ChurnedSue
ChurnedSue

February 3rd, 2006, 9:52 pm #56

Hi All,
Came across this post and the original thread while I was "wanting something"
which is most of the time lately.
I know it's not going to be nicotine because after 45 years I don't do that anymore, but I don't feel right, thoughts and feelings keep rising to the surface. Like my Parents dying from smoke related causes, my friend and soul-mate dying from lung cancer just 6 weeks ago, (there was only nine weeks between diagnosis and death) me almost literally smoking while giving birth to my 3 children (you could do that all those years ago) I can't crush these feelings by having a cigarette because I don't smoke anymore. Am I going to cope in the future? I, and most people who know me know that I have always coped with whatever life has thrown at me or anyone else, (albeit with a nicotine stick in my hand) but will I do it without?
This is not me looking for a relapse excuse because this is not going to happen, but I am a little concerned that with my crutch gone, I won't be as strong.
I have read this back and it seems like a load of waffle, just a minor panic attack, of course I'll cope, just have to find a different way, others have
Sue Free 33 & a bit days
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anhef
anhef

February 19th, 2006, 9:47 am #57

something...but what?? I've had that feeling too...and I knew darn well that it wasn't nicotene that I wanted. also knew that I was not hungry,thirsty or lonely and didn't need sleep. So what????
Found comfort in the oddest thing.
I used to go outside to smoke, and while I was there, I'd look at a beautiful clump of trees, or the clouds, or maybe the sunset. Since I quit, I stopped going outside at odd times too.
Why???? I only quit nicotene, not the enjoyment of those little breaks. So I started going outside, sitting in the same place....and inhaling deeply....but not nicotene, just inhaling fresh air.
And ya know what??? it felt great! Just as great as that "ahhhhh' that signalled giving in to the craving before I quit.
I was missing "something"....but NOT the nicotene. Nope, I was missing the good things that accompanied the delivery of the nicotene. And I realized that there was no need to give up those good things.
So now, when I feel a crave, or trigger, or whatever you want to call it....I follow it to the extent of the goodness involved....and take a big puff...of fresh, free air! AHHHHHHHHHHHH Now that's SOMETHING!
I gotta remember that I didn't "give up anything"....I threw away "something" that was bad for me. ANd I can keep all of the other things, cause they don't have anything to do with NTAP!!!!
All I have to do is remember my priorities and the truth that I learned here at Freedom....and I can stay free.
annie....free and learning new things for 1 week, 2 days 1 hour and 40 minutes
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Aprilangel1951
Aprilangel1951

February 20th, 2006, 7:33 am #58

This is just what I have been feeling the past couple days,it is not a need for nicotine,food,drink,sleep or any physical thing,it is a feeling of wanting something but not knowing what it is. It is like my subconcious is trying to tell me something but I am just not getting it.We are all adjusting to living life without nicotine and thus dealing with emotions in a whole new way as we find and embrace our pre addict selves which has been lost to some of us for a very long time. Maybe we are like children trying something new for the first time on their own and feeling vunerable and afraid of the unknown.That "something" is our addiction that we used to hide our true selves and mask our emotions and is being replaced by the true ,authentic us!.We have been stripped to our very cores and are learning to comfront live as it should be,head on,and nicotine free! Yes we will feel afraid,vunerable,confused,angry,sad and like something is missing but it will be oh so worth it, because in the end we will find our true selves!
Carol
Hanging in there at 49 days!
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JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

March 8th, 2006, 9:22 am #59

For Melissa - From Mary Kate - Lotus above -
I am FINALLY starting to see hints of the "real me" peeking out for a chance to say "Hey I want...something". And that is an incredible feeling. REALLY listening to your body and making conscious choices about your desires. Sometimes it is difficult for me to realize that I am 27 years old and JUST "getting" this now...and other times I rejoice at the rediscovery of "me". It is scary to enter unknown territory, but even scarier to realize that that "unknown territory" is the real me. Scary and exhilirating all at the same time.

Well, I guess my point besides sparking a conversation on the subject, is to remind all the FREEDOMITES and lurkers out there reading this, that quitting smoking is about much more than ceasing a "dirty habit". It is about rediscovery and reconnection. It is about embracing the "real" you and finding your true path to happiness.

As Toast so eloqently puts it : it's really about growing up, learning to know and name and act responsibly upon our desires.
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Juju
Juju

March 10th, 2006, 4:50 am #60

Thank you. This post should keep me out of trouble for awhile!



Julie
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quitforgood
quitforgood

June 4th, 2006, 10:50 pm #61

Thanks for bringing these posts up again. I hadn't read them before and they certainly hit the nail on the head for me. They express so articulately what I have been feeling in the last few days of a 14 day quit. A lightbulb when off when I read them. Each day I learn more and more at this site and because of this education I know this quit is different from others I have had. Brenda
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freejill
freejill

June 5th, 2006, 9:19 am #62

I SOOO needed to see this tonight! I have been feeling this for the last several days and finally recognize it. Having also recovered from drug and alcohol abuse, I've been here before but it's been many years since those first days of getting straight and I've forgotten how that felt.



I have been quit for 1 Week, 6 Days, 4 hours, 19 minutes and 51 seconds (13 days). I have saved $69.19 by not smoking 395 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 8 hours and 55 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 5/22/2006 4:00 PM
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Flo Babe
Flo Babe

June 6th, 2006, 5:40 am #63

I agree. This weekend I had that 'I want something' feel and after some analysis, realized it was 'boredom'. I wasn't fighting the craving. I wasn't hungry. I was bored. I came to the realization that quitting doesn't solve all our problems and it probably masked many of our problems and now it's time to face them without the 'smoke screen' (pardon the pun).

I think perhaps it's time to think outside the box - the box of a smoker - and realize that the world has opened up almost 80% more than it was before we quit. There are now that many more people we can become intimate and friendly with because we don't smoke. There are that many more places we can go to because we don't smoke. And we can do things that take more than an hour because we don't need to think about getting a fix all the time. I think I'm just starting to peek out from my bunker - after 17 days of quitting - and finally realizing that I'm never going back - that I have changed now. That I am a non smoker.

I think that there are a zillion things that we will need to re-cover which were taken by nicotine but it is a journey of discovery - an adventure - and a blessing.

One day at a time, and never take another puff - that's the way to go.

Day 17 of freedom after 42 years of addiction.
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FishingRodLady
FishingRodLady

August 3rd, 2006, 3:39 am #64

I have not seen this post before but it describes my feelings exactly. I want something. But what?



Sharon
14 days free
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Cindy K
Cindy K

March 21st, 2007, 10:18 pm #65

Wow am I glad I found this string. I have only been nicotine free for 21 days, 4 hours now but, I have been really feeling all out of sorts, or needing something for about a week now.
For the last 34 or so years I have had cig.'s to fill my time, they were always there for me. When I was bored, lonely, sad, happy, needing a break, whatever I was, they were with me. My life totally revolved around being able to smoke. So there were many things that I never did because I may not be able to smoke at my regulated time! Now that I am smoke free, I feel as tho there is something missing in my life. I don't feel the need to smoke, I just have a somewhat empty feeling.

This statement from Dave really helped. I think that I'm one of those people that need to make that concerted effort to find new interests.
'I think for many of us, this may be the biggest challenge of our quits, how to fill the void left by smoking. Obviously it can be done, look at John, Joanne, Marty, Grumps, et al, they did it. For some it may be an unconsious process where they naturally gravitate to new and different interests to fill the time. For others , we may have to make a concerted effort to re-mold our lives into something different. Maybe all we need is a hobby!!'

I have been reading thru this whole string I would strongly suggest it to anyone that is feeling kind of lost.
A girl I work with has tried quitting many times over the last few years. She always says that the first couple of weeks are easy, it is the 3rd and 4th that always kill her. She usually starts back smoking after about a month because she is so miserable. I sent her a link to this string. I wonder if what she has always been feeling is the 'I need something' and assumed it was a smoke that she needed? She says that she wants to give it another shot. I hope that she will take my advice and do some 'Lurking' in here before she tries again. I think that by eduacating myself prior to quitting made all the difference in the world for me. I was amazed how much easier it was this time. I know that I haven't been smoke free for months or years, I'm not even Green yet but I still love the new me. I'm so proud of myself for doing this.

I'm still taking it one day at a time and will Never Take Another Puff!
Cindy

Free and Healing for Twenty One Days, 4 Hours and 14 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day and 6 Hours,
1 more day for my Grandkids!!!! (when I get them)
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Lburgguy1
Lburgguy1

March 27th, 2008, 11:46 pm #66

Wow, that is exactly what I've been experiencing. Great read!
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JudyH8
JudyH8

April 20th, 2008, 11:06 am #67

I'm glad I found this string of posts. This afternoon and tonight I have felt like I am missing something and it would be great to have a smoke right now, and I get my mind off it and then a little later its the same thought. Just really glad I found all these posts, there so good and helpful.
Days quit, 33.

Judy
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Gardenia167
Gardenia167

April 20th, 2008, 7:46 pm #68

I am so glad to see this bumped up. I have also been having the "I want somethings" off and on for several days. The weather is starting to get nice here so maybe some sunshine will do the trick.

It also helps to see that others are having these thoughts around the same point in their quits and I am not alone or crazy :)

Gardenia

I have been quit for 3 Weeks, 6 Days, 1 hour, 41 minutes and 13 seconds (27 days). I have saved $85.26 by not smoking 406 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 9 hours and 50 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 3/24/2008 6:05 AM
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Ilona
Ilona

April 21st, 2008, 6:07 am #69

Hi

This string speaks to me a lot. As a young child I apparently went around saying "I want something" while seeming to fret and wring my hands. (Sounds pathetic I know). Well, as it turns out, my mother smoked throughout all of her pregnancies. I happened to be born late, well into the 10 month. Imagine how much noctine I ingested before birth! I was born "wanting something". Imagine how many of us smokers are probably born addicts due to our mothers' smoking habit. (I was born in the 60s; it was still hip for mothers' to smoke while you were expecting a child). When I found cigarettes it was like "ahhh.. I think I've found what I was looking for". It makes me really mad to think that my whole life, since birth, I have been a nicotine addict. I have often wondered how many quitters out there are also dealing with a life-long want for something....

Ilona
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JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

June 10th, 2008, 10:05 am #70

Some early 'navel gazing' by Dave.
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Maisie Mai
Maisie Mai

June 11th, 2008, 5:12 am #71

thanks for bringing this thread to the top. I am nearly 6 weeks into my final quit and I can't say its been difficult, its been illuminating and satisfying and has made me feel proud.... but all day today I've had the most annoying 'I need something' time that has lasted all day and all evening. Grrrr... I'm so mad!
Anyway the positive side is that although I felt strongly that I needed a cigarette/nicotine I knew I didn't want to smoke because..its horrible..it wouldn't solve anything etc etc so I didn't and that makes me proud. I think the worst of today is over now and tomorrow is another day.
Maisie
I am proud to announce that I have been totally nicotine free for 1 Month, 1 Week, 1 Day and 11 minutes (39 days). I have saved £187.23 by not smoking 780 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Days and 17 hours of my life. My Quit Date: 02/05/2008 22:00
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bluekate4
bluekate4

June 11th, 2008, 7:04 am #72

I'm also really glad this thread has been brought forward... I'm a week quit (today!), and I've had two types of cravings- the conscious, "I want one" type, and they unconscious "I need something!" kind. This thread is definitely helpful.
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aryeh36.ffn
aryeh36.ffn

June 16th, 2008, 2:12 am #73

Wow!
This describes exactly what I have been going through.
I want "something"
Two things offer me satisfaction so far
a) This website satisfies my need for the elusive"something"
that I need.
b) a long walk gets rid of the feeling for a while.
But they are not the same. The effects are not the same.
This website satisfies.
The walk does not satisfy the need - only removes it for a while.

Anyway, Thanks Dave for this beautiful insight
And thank you JoeJ for bringing this post to the top

Aryeh
I have been quit for 3W 2D 6h 11m (23 days). I have saved $122.09 by not smoking 325 cigarettes. I have saved 1D 3h 5m of my life. My Quit Date: 5/23/2008 8:01 AM
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WavyDavy7
WavyDavy7

June 16th, 2008, 9:55 pm #74

I am sometimes conscious enough to recognize how similarly cravings of all kinds show up. There's a sensation of some undefinable thing missing. Maybe it's food; maybe it's something advertised on TV. In the past I would just light up a cigarette and for 20-30 minutes that hole would be filled.

Unfortunately the product ultimately doesn't live up to it's promise and we addicts often discover too late how our desires and fulfillments have been perverted as our lung function disappears.
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jeffazi
jeffazi

July 10th, 2008, 2:29 am #75

That "wanting something" feeling really hits home with me. I've had that feeling several times since I quit. I didn't really connect it with being a craving. It was more of a disquieting feeling like the feeling you get when you know you've forgotten to do something and can't remember what it is. Good post Dave.

jeff
I quit smoking 2 Weeks, 2 Days, 22 hours, 28 minutes and 51 seconds (16 days) ago.
I have saved $80.44 by not smoking 338 cigarettes.
I have saved 1 Day, 15 hours and 26 minutes of my life.
My Quit Date: 6/22/2008 3:00 PM
NTAP!
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