I Want "Something"

Retraining the conscious mind
Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

December 28th, 2002, 12:36 pm #21

Are we really so different than any other chemically dependent humans?
There was a time not so long ago when I thought myself superior
to alcoholics, heroin addicts, or those who smoke crack.
Was I really? Who was I kidding?
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Joined: January 9th, 2009, 11:22 pm

January 17th, 2003, 4:01 am #22

Dave,

This post was recommended to me by a couple of friends here, and I love it! The nebulous, squishy, slippery, wanting feeling that I've been battling for days and not knowing how to describe...you had already described it so simply and plainly, and so accurately. You've helped me understand my own experience so much better. I'll come back to this one again and again.

Thank you,
Kate
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Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:02 am

April 10th, 2003, 11:19 pm #23

I am surprised I've never responded to this post. It had such a big impact on me when I first read it. As always Hillbilly, you dished out some good ole fat to chew, so I thought it couldn't hurt to pull this topic to the top of the board for some more discussion. I recommended this thread to Karen yesterday in response to her post Big Fat Quit, mostly because I thought it was appropriate for her, but also because I have been thinking a lot lately about that "something" feeling myself, and I wanted to see if this post (which I remember dearly) would offer me any new insight. As it turns out, Melissa's words in her response to Hillbilly are even more powerful than the first time I read them:

Maybe once we get past the initial high drama of quitting smoking - the physical sensations, the most pressing psychological triggers, etc. - we rediscover a little bit of us that's waited stuck all those years for a chance to say, "Hey, I want ... something." And now, rather than it being about smoking, we get a chance to realize it's really about growing up, learning to know and name and act responsibly upon our desires.

For me, cutting nicotine out of my life was only the FIRST STEP in peeling off layers of addiction and unhealthy behaviors...YEARS of "hiding" from my feelings, rather than embracing them. I think that when I first read Melissa's message, I didn't really understand that "rediscovery" she talked about, because I was still coma-tizing my feelings with comfort food and drowning my depression with drink. As I begin to use my newfound freedom to inspire me to emerge from my mindless state of slavery, however, and reclaim my body from my other addictions, I am FINALLY starting to see hints of the "real me" peeking out for a chance to say "Hey I want...something". And that is an incredible feeling. REALLY listening to your body and making conscious choices about your desires. Sometimes it is difficult for me to realize that I am 27 years old and JUST "getting" this now...and other times I rejoice at the rediscovery of "me". It is scary to enter unknown territory, but even scarier to realize that that "unknown territory" is the real me. Scary and exhilirating all at the same time.

Well, I guess my point besides sparking a conversation on the subject, is to remind all the FREEDOMITES and lurkers out there reading this, that quitting smoking is about much more than ceasing a "dirty habit". It is about rediscovery and reconnection. It is about embracing the "real" you and finding your true path to happiness. As Toast so eloqently puts it : it's really about growing up, learning to know and name and act responsibly upon our desires.

Here's a "toast" to you quit sis...thanks for the wisdom.
Lotus
Choosing FREEDOM for 6 Months 2 Weeks 3 Days 9 Hours 17 Minutes 1 Second. Cigarettes not smoked: 5951. Money saved: $1,487.90.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

April 11th, 2003, 12:24 am #24

Well now, thank you, Irish!

Still learning to name my desires, and cheering you on your journey to the Real Lotus!

Melissa
22 months
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Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

April 11th, 2003, 7:25 am #25

I have been noticing growth-evolution-change that has all come forth since my shedding/stopping of nicotine and the slavery of smoking.
It's the new me.
Smoking stunted my growth.
Sal
Two months, four weeks, one day, 16 hours, 25 minutes and 30 seconds.
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Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:10 am

April 11th, 2003, 9:35 am #26

Being 3 weeks into my quit, I find that "wanting something" is the biggest itch of my day. Not really a smoke. (A smoke at this point wouldn't give me that ahh feeling anyway! ) Just want something. I don't know what. So you know what I do? If I'm home, I start off by asking my husband for a spontaneous hug. A nice tight hug. Hold it for about 30 seconds. Ahhh. Dopamine level rises. I'm happy again. Or if I'm at work, I pop over to the community candy jar in my boss' office, grab ONE piece of candy (usually chocolate - he's a good boss) pop it into my mouth and savor it. Moment's passed, I'm happy again. This only happens around once a day or less, but I constantly look for new healthy ways to get that ahh feeling. These are just a couple, the hugs of course being my favorite. Oooh I see a good parade idea here!

~ Sandy Celebrating 3 weeks, 3 days, 17 hrs of Freedom!
420 not smoked, $84.09 not spent. Saving 1 day, 11 hrs, 0 mins of my life!
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Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:10 am

May 3rd, 2003, 12:11 pm #27

Absolutely one of my favorite threads because quitting smoking is about new
beginnings! For me it's all about learning how to deal with meals, other smokers,
stress, relaxation, tragedy, celebrations, etc. without smoking a cigarette! It is
described here as "wanting something" because until now we couldn't think beyond
"wanting" that next smoke, let alone actually dealing with whatever comes our way!
It's been a few weeks since my reply above and I can see progress! (Thank goodness I'm not still visiting that candy jar everday! lol) Just wanted to bring this up
for anyone who's new or who might have missed it.

~ Sandy Celebrating 1 month, 2 weeks, 1 days, 21 hrs of Freedom!
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

October 10th, 2003, 9:39 am #28

What a great, wonderful thread! There is some amazing wisdom in this thread. Like the fog is starting to clear. I think that my fog is starting to clear too! It is exciting that there is still more to discover. And that "something" doesn't have to be something that is self distructive. It can be something nice. (The hug part is nice!)

Live in the Moment!
TerrysDaughter_Green
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:59 pm

October 10th, 2003, 6:32 pm #29

There are probably plenty of people who have lost their quits by having that i want something feeling and come up with the wrong equation that it is nicotine,if they follow through with that equation they will choke and cough and splutter but then it is too late,the fly is in the spiders web,and they would be amazed at how strong nicotines hold is as their memory had fooled them into forgetting.As roger says in patience,we have a fast moving society and we all want something right now,if i want to buy something,i wait for a week and if i want it as much, then i get it,in the past i,ve bought things on impulse and wasted time and energy,nicotine should never be administered and especially not on impulse,sorry for rambling on this classic hillbilly i just felt like responding.
Rickdabler 7 months 3 days 7hrs happily nicotine free.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:59 pm

October 10th, 2003, 9:40 pm #30

I love this thread. Funny it should be brought up today. I was chatting with a friend last night, who quit smoking with me on my 30th birthday (6 years ago--I failed, she succeeded) and we were talking about how there are still times when it feels like something is "missing." That is pure psychological habit, because now neither one of us can picture ourselves actually enjoying the feeling of dragging on a cigarette and pulling all that toxic crud into our lungs. However, every once in a while, usually on a Sunday morning when I'm relaxing with the newspaper on the back porch, I will feel as though part of my routine is missing. Even after all this time. I understand the feeling and allow myself to feel it, because to do otherwise would be a form of denial. The extremely mild discomfort that the thought brings is what I consider to be my price for freedom. A price I gladly pay.


Let me also say that the feeling only lasts a moment and doesn't at all interfere with my comfort level. It actually brings my lovely quit to the front of my mind and brings a smile to my face. There's a reason for everything.


I hope everyone is having a wonderful day!
MareBear
Free for: 1 Year 4 Months 1 Week 5 Days 12 Hours. Not smoked: 9990. Money saved: $1,748.25. Life Saved: 1 Month 3 Days 16 Hours 30 Minutes.
Last edited by MareBear GOLD on March 28th, 2009, 7:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: January 7th, 2009, 7:22 pm

October 10th, 2003, 9:55 pm #31

Hi this is something I also have had to deal with the wanting something but what do I want ? I know it is not now a smoke I now have an apple or an orange or bannana but six weeks ago I was heading for the sweetest things I could and guess what the kilos have gone on. But I am now able to deal with my eating and I am now watching what I am eating I could not have done this six weeks ago I was having a hard enough time hanging onto my quit without worrying about my weight gain but I am strong enough now to cope with both which I think is just fantastic I have been nicotine free for 2 months 3 weeks 18 hours and sooooo proud of myself
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

October 10th, 2003, 9:57 pm #32

Oh, MareBear, that was lovely. You captured it. Thanks!

Parker - 490 days of freedom & healing
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Joined: January 9th, 2009, 8:35 pm

November 7th, 2003, 12:25 am #33

Thanks TJ,

This is exactly what I wanted to describe. I'm sending this back up because I think there are a lot of newbies like me who might be feeling the same way. Thanks.

Marisol
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Joined: January 7th, 2009, 7:45 pm

November 7th, 2003, 1:43 am #34

During the past ten days I have had so much time in the evenings and weekends that I have started reading. Reading is something that I never really enjoyed before. So far I have read:
Happiness it is a choice-A guide to depression
The Sky is falling By Sidney Sheldon
I am currently half way thru the New Testament of the Bible
Currently reading The Purpose Drive Life- A forty journey to happiness.
Currently reading- To Kill A Mocking Bird
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Joined: January 9th, 2009, 11:22 pm

January 21st, 2004, 5:37 pm #35


Thank you for this thread - been having that missing something feeling but do not want a cig. I usually go outside (not too cold here) and take a big breath of fresh air.
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Joined: January 7th, 2009, 6:58 pm

February 11th, 2004, 2:45 pm #36

I just discovered this thread, and it's wonderful! I couldn't quite get that "wanting something" into words, but this adds a lot of insight for the newbie. I wish I had "realized" this about 4 lbs. ago. BUT... I've only gained about 8, with a few left over from Christmas. Nowadays, I assume its chocolate when I "want something".

Anyway... This is great thread.

Carla - Free and Healing for One Month, Four Days, 2 Hours and 44 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 4 Days and 3 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1194 nico-death sticks that would have set me back $152.45.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

February 12th, 2004, 9:56 pm #37

You hit the nail right on the head! I too feel as though "something" was missing but not sure what. I said as much to my boyfriend and he said, " its your cigarette thats missing", but thats not it. I dont' really want a cigarette, just "something", something to fill that void.
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Joined: January 9th, 2009, 11:22 pm

March 14th, 2004, 8:12 am #38

Hi All,
I just read this thread . I hope the person it was intended for has read to too. Boy, I haven't EVER been able to put into words that "want something " feeling. I agree it isn't always that "old feed of nicotine thing"...what I have been doing and it really seems to help ME is: I pour myself a glass of water...I step outside (no matter how cold) Close my eyes, take a long sip of the water... take a deep gulp of that cold air...exhale slowly...and say Thanks to my Higher Powder for air, water and the ability to feel the chillin' cold...then I run back inside and I feel soooo good.
Try it IF you're board and nothing else has worked. No calories...alittle extra air into those healing lungs AND it feels so good to come inside and get warm again
Love,
Cher&Bear
FREE 13 days
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Joined: January 9th, 2009, 11:22 pm

March 14th, 2004, 12:53 pm #39

I am familiar with that "I want something" feeling. I've had it my whole life. Lately I know it's nicotene. but it could also be any of the other drugs I've given up. (Nicotene's the hardest!) Maybe it's just the love I never got as a child. I have been using water to fill the void, and tea... and sugar. I have gained some weight, but I'm not going to worry about it yet. A few extra pounds is a whole lot healthier than a few hundred extra chemicals!

Free and Healing for Twelve Days, 16 Hours and 40 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day, by avoiding the use of 292 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $60.62.
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Joined: December 19th, 2008, 1:47 am

April 6th, 2004, 6:54 am #40

A thread worth pondering...



Janet

160 days ago, I quit smoking to save my life. BTW, I've also saved $720.56 by not smoking 3,202 cigarettes.
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Joined: January 9th, 2009, 12:31 am

April 7th, 2004, 2:17 am #41

This is interesting as I just popped in here to see if there was anything written about the whole "wanting" something thing. It's been 9 months and STILL sometimes i get the feeling. Except now instead of longing for that cigarette, i usually open the fridge door and stare at it.

I never end up eating anything.usually just get a lemon for my water (which is a good habit i picked up from this journey). Still though, it's strange how sometimes that feeling comes back. But now it's not affiated with smoking, just life.

Thanks for the article!

I have been quit for 9 Months, 3 Weeks, 1 Day, 10 hours, 47 minutes and 4 seconds (296 days). I have saved $741.11 by not smoking 2,964 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Week, 3 Days and 7 hours of my life.
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Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:48 am

April 9th, 2004, 8:40 pm #42

I completely understand that "wanting something" - It's like a feeling of being unsatisfied but you don't know what will satisfy it.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

April 9th, 2004, 9:03 pm #43

There's one billion comfortable ex-smokers out there, HockyMa, and almost all will tell you the same thing - the key to satisfying that "something" is patience in returning home to "you!"
Patience One day at a time
Last edited by John (Gold) on November 15th, 2009, 2:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

July 22nd, 2004, 5:07 am #44

This is a great post....seem like a good time to bring it to the front again.
I can't speak for every newbie, but as for myself I have felt this lost feeling everyday at one time or another... I've stood looking threw the kitchen cabinets, refrig, channel surfing, thinking to myself...I'm looking for something what in the world is it? I believe there is no one right answer, I'm just trying to fill that spot smoking use to fill.....SOC SILVER:MESSAGE #26 makes good sense to me. If you have the time, read threw these.
Thanks Dave!
DAsmoke-free:12 days
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

September 1st, 2004, 11:21 pm #45

This is an important one to read if you are feeling troubled by that nagging something-is-missing feeling. We all felt it. We got through it. You will too. Comfort will come. I promise.

Parker - 26 months
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