I Want "Something"

Retraining the conscious mind
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

03 Aug 2002, 22:38 #11

Hi Dave,


One of the things that I liked about smoking was the instant reward (sick reward - but none the less) instant gratification of desire. Long after falling nicotine levels were over with memories of the "aaah" feeling would surface (triggers).



Everyone's quit is different my choices wouldn't necessarily work for anyone else. I will say that not smoking is a lot more effort in the beginning, part of that work is figuring out what you are feeling, what you want and what you need/want to do about it.



Now rather than smoking when I'm tired I rest, when I'm upset I take deep slow breaths and try to put things in perspective, if I'm angry I may yell or scrub something or go for a walk, when I'm hungry I eat. When I want a little reward for work well done I might read a chapter in a good book or play a game. Everything I ever did as a smoker I now do and do better. But all of these responses had to be learned because each of those situations used to be automatic signals to smoke.



Maybe this is way more than you had in mind. For me smoking had invaded every aspect of my life and once exorcised life is simpler and much more real.



yqf



Lorraine



Celebrating 9 months 3 weeks and 2 days of Freedom!
Last edited by SweetLorraine (Gold) on 28 Mar 2009, 19:48, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:12

03 Aug 2002, 23:09 #12

Dave...Thank you for this thread!

Once again I get on line and stumble right to a thread that is just what I need at the moment.....I've had some rough spots when I've come here to post for help, but I haven't because I find the help through others posts....The void or wanting something is often an issue with me.....Thanks to all who posted here..you've given me alot of new insight into this subject.............Also thanks to Kiwi..I've wondered the same thing about being manic-depressive!! Now I don't feel alone in that...Whew...(unless we both really are! ) LOL..........

Ya"ll have a great week-end!!!
Ruth Ann
NOT A PUFF FOR 4 Weeks 1 Day 23 Hours 58 Seconds
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

04 Aug 2002, 23:22 #13

Hi Dave!

Yes, this is a wonderful thread.....Marty, thank you for directing me here. Initially I was afraid of this "sensation" wondering if junkie thinking was about to take me over.

Melissa, I admire your "overdrive" as you nailed the big picture when you wrote, "And now, rather than it being about smoking, we get a chance to realize it's really about growing up, learning to know and name and act responsibly upon our desires."
That says it all!

YQS
Sharon
Nicotine free for 1 Month 6 Days 12 Hours 21 Minutes 51 Seconds
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

05 Aug 2002, 01:44 #14

Just wanted to add to a post I left several days ago. My "somethings" occurr much less often and are less troublesome. in the last three days. I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you, Hillbilly, for the quick response you posted to me during a very low moment for me. I was in a desert and suddenly there was a friend, there, telling me of the oasis just around the next dune.. And sure enough the oasis was there.. Won't ever forget that, Lilac
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:04

05 Aug 2002, 04:59 #15

Yup, I've been "wantin something". Unfortunalety my insurance doesn't cover a lobotomy. So the next best remedy for this brain is the group at Freedom and my cold turkey quit.

Had that feeling Sunday (today). Actually a little bit right now... and most days still. But life goes on and perhaps the "wanting" will be less tomorrow.

Mike, 22 days, 660 smokes
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

15 Aug 2002, 02:51 #16

Hi Hillbilly Dave!
This post really touched home with me a couple of weeks ago when I first got to FREEDOM. Now that I know how to get around a bit better I've managed to find it and read it again. Still touchin' so I'm bringing it up so more people can be amazed by your insite.
As always . . . in awe,
YQS
C
3W 16h 15m 44s (-650 cigarettes)
Last edited by CdnpheonixGold on 28 Mar 2009, 19:47, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

15 Aug 2002, 02:55 #17

Glad it helped, C. To me it's just more of my rattlin' around in my own head. :-)
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

15 Aug 2002, 03:26 #18

Dear C,


Did anyone ever tell you and surely they did, that you are a very remarkable young lady-------Your passionate committment to non smoking and to the forum is something very special.

LIlac
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

15 Aug 2002, 03:44 #19

Right back atcha Lilac!

Love, Peace, & Freedom
YQS
C
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

03 Oct 2002, 19:31 #20

This good 'un was mentioned in another thread, and I thought it was about time it showed up on the main board again.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

28 Dec 2002, 12:36 #21

Are we really so different than any other chemically dependent humans?
There was a time not so long ago when I thought myself superior
to alcoholics, heroin addicts, or those who smoke crack.
Was I really? Who was I kidding?
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Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 23:22

17 Jan 2003, 04:01 #22

Dave,

This post was recommended to me by a couple of friends here, and I love it! The nebulous, squishy, slippery, wanting feeling that I've been battling for days and not knowing how to describe...you had already described it so simply and plainly, and so accurately. You've helped me understand my own experience so much better. I'll come back to this one again and again.

Thank you,
Kate
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:02

10 Apr 2003, 23:19 #23

I am surprised I've never responded to this post. It had such a big impact on me when I first read it. As always Hillbilly, you dished out some good ole fat to chew, so I thought it couldn't hurt to pull this topic to the top of the board for some more discussion. I recommended this thread to Karen yesterday in response to her post Big Fat Quit, mostly because I thought it was appropriate for her, but also because I have been thinking a lot lately about that "something" feeling myself, and I wanted to see if this post (which I remember dearly) would offer me any new insight. As it turns out, Melissa's words in her response to Hillbilly are even more powerful than the first time I read them:

Maybe once we get past the initial high drama of quitting smoking - the physical sensations, the most pressing psychological triggers, etc. - we rediscover a little bit of us that's waited stuck all those years for a chance to say, "Hey, I want ... something." And now, rather than it being about smoking, we get a chance to realize it's really about growing up, learning to know and name and act responsibly upon our desires.

For me, cutting nicotine out of my life was only the FIRST STEP in peeling off layers of addiction and unhealthy behaviors...YEARS of "hiding" from my feelings, rather than embracing them. I think that when I first read Melissa's message, I didn't really understand that "rediscovery" she talked about, because I was still coma-tizing my feelings with comfort food and drowning my depression with drink. As I begin to use my newfound freedom to inspire me to emerge from my mindless state of slavery, however, and reclaim my body from my other addictions, I am FINALLY starting to see hints of the "real me" peeking out for a chance to say "Hey I want...something". And that is an incredible feeling. REALLY listening to your body and making conscious choices about your desires. Sometimes it is difficult for me to realize that I am 27 years old and JUST "getting" this now...and other times I rejoice at the rediscovery of "me". It is scary to enter unknown territory, but even scarier to realize that that "unknown territory" is the real me. Scary and exhilirating all at the same time.

Well, I guess my point besides sparking a conversation on the subject, is to remind all the FREEDOMITES and lurkers out there reading this, that quitting smoking is about much more than ceasing a "dirty habit". It is about rediscovery and reconnection. It is about embracing the "real" you and finding your true path to happiness. As Toast so eloqently puts it : it's really about growing up, learning to know and name and act responsibly upon our desires.

Here's a "toast" to you quit sis...thanks for the wisdom.
Lotus
Choosing FREEDOM for 6 Months 2 Weeks 3 Days 9 Hours 17 Minutes 1 Second. Cigarettes not smoked: 5951. Money saved: $1,487.90.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

11 Apr 2003, 00:24 #24

Well now, thank you, Irish!

Still learning to name my desires, and cheering you on your journey to the Real Lotus!

Melissa
22 months
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Joined: 16 Jan 2003, 08:00

11 Apr 2003, 07:25 #25

I have been noticing growth-evolution-change that has all come forth since my shedding/stopping of nicotine and the slavery of smoking.
It's the new me.
Smoking stunted my growth.
Sal
Two months, four weeks, one day, 16 hours, 25 minutes and 30 seconds.
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:10

11 Apr 2003, 09:35 #26

Being 3 weeks into my quit, I find that "wanting something" is the biggest itch of my day. Not really a smoke. (A smoke at this point wouldn't give me that ahh feeling anyway! ) Just want something. I don't know what. So you know what I do? If I'm home, I start off by asking my husband for a spontaneous hug. A nice tight hug. Hold it for about 30 seconds. Ahhh. Dopamine level rises. I'm happy again. Or if I'm at work, I pop over to the community candy jar in my boss' office, grab ONE piece of candy (usually chocolate - he's a good boss) pop it into my mouth and savor it. Moment's passed, I'm happy again. This only happens around once a day or less, but I constantly look for new healthy ways to get that ahh feeling. These are just a couple, the hugs of course being my favorite. Oooh I see a good parade idea here!

~ Sandy Celebrating 3 weeks, 3 days, 17 hrs of Freedom!
420 not smoked, $84.09 not spent. Saving 1 day, 11 hrs, 0 mins of my life!
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:10

03 May 2003, 12:11 #27

Absolutely one of my favorite threads because quitting smoking is about new
beginnings! For me it's all about learning how to deal with meals, other smokers,
stress, relaxation, tragedy, celebrations, etc. without smoking a cigarette! It is
described here as "wanting something" because until now we couldn't think beyond
"wanting" that next smoke, let alone actually dealing with whatever comes our way!
It's been a few weeks since my reply above and I can see progress! (Thank goodness I'm not still visiting that candy jar everday! lol) Just wanted to bring this up
for anyone who's new or who might have missed it.

~ Sandy Celebrating 1 month, 2 weeks, 1 days, 21 hrs of Freedom!
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

10 Oct 2003, 09:39 #28

What a great, wonderful thread! There is some amazing wisdom in this thread. Like the fog is starting to clear. I think that my fog is starting to clear too! It is exciting that there is still more to discover. And that "something" doesn't have to be something that is self distructive. It can be something nice. (The hug part is nice!)

Live in the Moment!
TerrysDaughter_Green
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

10 Oct 2003, 18:32 #29

There are probably plenty of people who have lost their quits by having that i want something feeling and come up with the wrong equation that it is nicotine,if they follow through with that equation they will choke and cough and splutter but then it is too late,the fly is in the spiders web,and they would be amazed at how strong nicotines hold is as their memory had fooled them into forgetting.As roger says in patience,we have a fast moving society and we all want something right now,if i want to buy something,i wait for a week and if i want it as much, then i get it,in the past i,ve bought things on impulse and wasted time and energy,nicotine should never be administered and especially not on impulse,sorry for rambling on this classic hillbilly i just felt like responding.
Rickdabler 7 months 3 days 7hrs happily nicotine free.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

10 Oct 2003, 21:40 #30

I love this thread. Funny it should be brought up today. I was chatting with a friend last night, who quit smoking with me on my 30th birthday (6 years ago--I failed, she succeeded) and we were talking about how there are still times when it feels like something is "missing." That is pure psychological habit, because now neither one of us can picture ourselves actually enjoying the feeling of dragging on a cigarette and pulling all that toxic crud into our lungs. However, every once in a while, usually on a Sunday morning when I'm relaxing with the newspaper on the back porch, I will feel as though part of my routine is missing. Even after all this time. I understand the feeling and allow myself to feel it, because to do otherwise would be a form of denial. The extremely mild discomfort that the thought brings is what I consider to be my price for freedom. A price I gladly pay.


Let me also say that the feeling only lasts a moment and doesn't at all interfere with my comfort level. It actually brings my lovely quit to the front of my mind and brings a smile to my face. There's a reason for everything.


I hope everyone is having a wonderful day!
MareBear
Free for: 1 Year 4 Months 1 Week 5 Days 12 Hours. Not smoked: 9990. Money saved: $1,748.25. Life Saved: 1 Month 3 Days 16 Hours 30 Minutes.
Last edited by MareBear GOLD on 28 Mar 2009, 19:49, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:22

10 Oct 2003, 21:55 #31

Hi this is something I also have had to deal with the wanting something but what do I want ? I know it is not now a smoke I now have an apple or an orange or bannana but six weeks ago I was heading for the sweetest things I could and guess what the kilos have gone on. But I am now able to deal with my eating and I am now watching what I am eating I could not have done this six weeks ago I was having a hard enough time hanging onto my quit without worrying about my weight gain but I am strong enough now to cope with both which I think is just fantastic I have been nicotine free for 2 months 3 weeks 18 hours and sooooo proud of myself
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

10 Oct 2003, 21:57 #32

Oh, MareBear, that was lovely. You captured it. Thanks!

Parker - 490 days of freedom & healing
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Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 20:35

07 Nov 2003, 00:25 #33

Thanks TJ,

This is exactly what I wanted to describe. I'm sending this back up because I think there are a lot of newbies like me who might be feeling the same way. Thanks.

Marisol
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:45

07 Nov 2003, 01:43 #34

During the past ten days I have had so much time in the evenings and weekends that I have started reading. Reading is something that I never really enjoyed before. So far I have read:
Happiness it is a choice-A guide to depression
The Sky is falling By Sidney Sheldon
I am currently half way thru the New Testament of the Bible
Currently reading The Purpose Drive Life- A forty journey to happiness.
Currently reading- To Kill A Mocking Bird
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Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 23:22

21 Jan 2004, 17:37 #35


Thank you for this thread - been having that missing something feeling but do not want a cig. I usually go outside (not too cold here) and take a big breath of fresh air.
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