I want one...

Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

May 28th, 2007, 7:27 am #41

The Law of Addiction
The administration of a drug to an addict will cause reestablishment of dependence upon the addictive substance at the old level of use or greater.
Last edited by Sal GOLD.ffn on June 27th, 2009, 4:04 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Joel
Joel

July 18th, 2007, 2:28 am #42

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JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

September 29th, 2007, 7:52 pm #43

From: Parker - GOLD! Sent: 3/7/2007 7:50 PM
This helped me so much in the beginning of my quit. I would think about having one and remember that one always, always, always led to more. One pack and then another and another and another. When you are an addict one is too many; a hundred is not enough. Don't fool yourself. You can't have just one.
Some additional Parker wisdom - Don't Get Discouraged!
Last edited by JoeJFree Gold on June 25th, 2009, 2:43 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Joel
Joel

October 21st, 2007, 10:42 pm #44

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"I want one!"
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iwannalive
iwannalive

November 14th, 2007, 2:01 am #45

I wish I never had this addiction. But I do so I have to get it through my head. One is too many and a hundred is not enough.


Diane - Free and Healing for Thirty Days, 2 Hours and 3 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 3 Days and 15 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1053 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $337.37.
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

November 14th, 2007, 2:24 am #46

Try to be patient with the pace of recovery, Diane, as you've come far these past 30 days and invested much. In the first three days you detoxed your mind and body of all nicotine and reached peak withdrawal, you've greeted and extinguished the vast majority of your nicotine feeding cues (all but infrequent cues, seasonal or holiday related ones) and with each extinguished cue you've reclaimed yet another aspect of life. It's like putting a puzzle together.
Now you're into the final phase and dealing with those pesky conscious thoughts of wanting, that combine with years of smoking rationalizations and the slowly dwindling influence of those old dopamine aaah memories that belong to a true drug addict who at that moment was again starving off urges or even the onset of early withdrawal.
This likely being the longest and most gradual recovery phase of all, it's normal to want it to be over and done. It's a place we all once stood. At times it can feel like the rose bud has actually stopped opening, that with each passing day the distance between moments of challenge is not growing longer, the challenges shorter and generally a bit less intense. But just as the human eye cannot see the rose bud as it opens, it can at times be difficult to see the gradual beauty slowly unfolding before you. But we promise you, it's happening.
Diane, if you'll simply stay in the here and now, just one day at a time and then celebrate today's victory, before you know it those pesky thoughts of wanting will become the exception not the rule. This is your gift to you, Diane. Hold it close and protect it above all else.
Remember, you're not fighting a whole pack or even a whole cigarette but just that one powerful puff of nicotine that 8 to 10 seconds later would cause nicotine to occupy at least 40% of your brain's nicotinic type acetylcholine receptors, causing a dopamine explosion that, even through a dizzy mind and burning lungs, your mind's pay attention pathways will make nearly impossible (in the short term) to forget. It could all be over that fast, with both freedom and a solid month of the most intense healing your body has ever known flushed like a toilet.
Baby steps, just today. Yes you can, Diane! Congratulations on your first full month of freedom and healing. We're with you in spirit.
Breathe deep, hug hard, live long!
John (Gold x8)
Last edited by John (Gold) on June 26th, 2009, 4:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

January 21st, 2008, 12:22 am #47


"I want one"
"I want one"
"I want one"
The Law of Addiction
The administration of a drug to an addict will cause reestablishment of dependence upon the addictive substance at the old level of use or greater.
"I want one" is the biggest lie of all. Haven't the lies lasted long enough? Isn't it time to allow truth to help free your mind from lingering smoking fixations? Why tease yourself with lies?
"One is too many, a thousand never enough."
Last edited by John (Gold) on July 1st, 2009, 12:37 am, edited 4 times in total.
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JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

February 23rd, 2008, 2:50 am #48

....BUT do you want them ALL back?
Didn't think so. 'Just One' is an Illusion. 'JUST' ONE is a LIE. Just One is an impossibility.
All or None is the only quantity you can choose.
Last edited by JoeJFree Gold on June 27th, 2009, 4:12 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Joel
Joel

April 15th, 2008, 8:55 pm #49

Video title Dial Up High Speed MP3 Audio Length Created
"I want one!" 1.01mb 5.36mb 2.48mb 05:33 10/18/06
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JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

June 22nd, 2008, 11:14 pm #50

Look at smoking in real terms and you will walk away from each urge with a sense of relief and accomplishement. Fantasize about them and you may walk away with a feeling of deprivation. You are not depriving yourself of anything, you are ridding yourself of a deadly addiction. See them for what they are and you will stay forever resolute to never take another puff!

Joel
=
Last edited by JoeJFree Gold on June 26th, 2009, 4:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Joel
Joel

July 20th, 2008, 9:43 pm #51

Video title Dial Up High Speed MP3 Audio Length Created
"I want one!" 1.01mb 5.36mb 2.48mb 05:33 10/18/06
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ConnieLynn062408
ConnieLynn062408

July 26th, 2008, 9:27 am #52

From: John (Gold) Sent: 11/13/2007 1:24 PM
Try to be patient with the pace of recovery, Diane, as you've come far these past 30 days and invested much. In the first three days you detoxed your mind and body of all nicotine and reached peak withdrawal, you've greeted and extinguished the vast majority of your nicotine feeding cues (all but infrequent cues, seasonal or holiday related ones) and with each extinguishment reclaimed yet another aspect of life. It's like putting a puzzle together.
Now you're into the final phase and dealing with those pesky conscious thoughts of wanting, that combine with years of smoking rationalizations and the slowly dwindling influence of those old dopamine aaah memories that belong to a true drug addict who at that moment was again starving off urges or even the onset of early withdrawal.
This likely being the longest and most gradual recovery phase of all, it's normal to want it to be over and done. It's a place we all once stood. At times it can feel like the rose bud has actually stopped opening, that with each passing day the distance between moments of challenge is not growing longer, the challenges shorter and generally a bit less intense. But just as the human eye cannot see the rose bud as it opens, it can at times be difficult to see the gradual beauty slowly unfolding before you. But we promise you, it's happening.
Diane, if you'll simply stay in the here and now, just one day at a time and then celebrate today's victory, before you know it those pesky thoughts of wanting will become the exception not the rule. This is your gift to you, Diane. Hold it close and protect it above all else.
Remember, you're not fighting a whole pack or even a whole cigarette but just that one powerful puff of nicotine that 8 to 10 seconds later would cause nicotine to occupy at least 40% of your brain's nicotinic type acetylcholine receptors, causing a dopamine explosion that, even through a dizzy mind and burning lungs, your mind's pay attention pathways will make nearly impossible (in the short term) to forget. It could all be over that fast, with both freedom and a solid month of the most intense healing your body has ever known flushed like a toilet.
Baby steps, just today. Yes you can, Diane! Congratulations on your first full month of freedom and healing. We're with you in spirit.
Breathe deep, hug hard, live long!
John (Gold x8)
John, your excellent posts have been one of best reasons that I have been able to quit smoking for over a month now. But...........early on in my quit I read the above post, and just can't get this out of my mind. The benefits of not smoking are already beginning to be very apparent to me and important to me, but the statement in the post about relapsing and causing a dopamine explosion is constantly calling me. It's like telling me why I smoked all those years, and teasing me that it is still there if only I have a smoke. In other posts I see that we should expect a smoke to taste horrible, be hot, make us cough,etc. But I can't help but wonder and fantasize about what is written above. How good would a smoke be after all this time? I smoked for 46 years, and am still having to go over my reasons for quitting many times a day. So far, so good, I have resisted. But I can't get this out of my mind, and I can't trust myself completely yet because of this fantasy. Any suggestions?
Thanks,
Connie
Last edited by ConnieLynn062408 on June 27th, 2009, 4:25 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Joined: January 16th, 2003, 8:00 am

July 26th, 2008, 7:54 pm #53

Last edited by Sal GOLD.ffn on June 25th, 2009, 2:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
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candle61
candle61

July 26th, 2008, 11:15 pm #54

Hello Connie Lynn (I love your name ). I don't have any suggestion to you regarding " I want one ". You know that I have smoked for most of my life, more than 40 years. What I can do is to tell you a story. Before my final quit, I have had quite a fewones. The last, before the final one, happened when I was away with my husband in a very beautiful National Park. I was not smoking for 3 days and was quite happy with it. Then a spider bit my husband and we came back home in a hurry as his hand and arm were starting to swell really bad. I got scared, we drove to a hospital and while he was waiting to be examined, I went to the street, debated with myself about having one cigarette, went to a bar, got a pack and lit a cigarette. No, it did not taste good, it tasted bad, the nicotine kicked my heart and brains real strong, I almost fainted, but got used very quicky to the thing again. It took me about 2 months to come back to my initial and definitive resolve to never take another puff. So, hang on there,having one it's a bad and depressing experience because you betrayed yourself. The only reason for quitting smoking is because you love life and you love yourself. So please please don't go on thinking that nicotine is good, it's horrible. And baby steps , one day at a time, don't give in, go to the movies watch Batman and think a little of us here, your quit brothers and sisters. Have a nice day!
PS: sometimes, breathing very deeply through your mouth helps a lot.
Last edited by candle61 on June 26th, 2009, 4:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

July 27th, 2008, 2:15 am #55

Hello Connie and congratulations on your first full month of freedom and healing after 45 years of bondage. We're drug addicts, Connie, and at a minimum you're still facing coming to terms with both the small mountain of "aaah" memories you created during those four and a half decades, but more importantly all the rationalizations created to justify going after them.
I doubt this brings you much comfort but at one month into recovery nearly everyone here focused upon those still lingering memories too, and for most that was prior to posts such as this one mentioning them. Maybe there's something to "out of sight out of mind" but if I was a betting man I'd bet that right about now, with by far the vast majority of trigger extinguishing behind you, that your attention would begin focusing heavily upon this phase of recovery, that you'd be wading through them anyway, as it's the only path home.
Maybe I should have tied this in better with my post about the "Final Truth." Although the underlying dopamine explosion is there, the sensation associated with it cannot match existing replenishment memories, as here on day 33 of your recovery there is nothing functionally missing and nothing in need of replenishment. Your tank isn't low, there's no early withdrawal onset anxieties building because you've once again waited a bit too long, and that building anxiety isn't riddled with a growing sense of depression.
None of this means that this much loved (I'm sure) great-grand-mother can't soon restore the need to replenish, in fact, once that first puff is taken, full relapse is in motion and it's now all but guaranteed.
The 1990 Brandon study examined lapse and relapse in smokers who'd successfully completed a two week stop smoking program. Aside from finding that 88% who "tasted" a cigarette went on to experience full relapse, it also documented the primary emotion felt immediately following smoking nicotine. Consider that each who lapsed had already succeeded in fully navigating physical withdrawal. Consider that their brains had re-sensitized. Reflect on the fact that their mind's sense of nicotine normal no longer existed, that there was no chemical missing and nothing in need of replenishment, that the brain's sense of homeostasis had been restored. So what was their prime emotion following relapse?
The vast majority reported an immediate negative reaction. Among them, 13% felt depressed and hopeless, 33% experienced anxiety and tension, 16% were angry and irritated, and 12% felt boredom or fatigue, while only 3.6% reported what most nicotine addicts would probably have expected, that they felt relaxed.


It is good you're thinking all this through, Connie, not bad. As Joel reminds us, it's impossible to relapse by thinking, it's action that destroy.
Connie, those "aaah" memories don't belong to you but to an actively feeding drug addict whose chemical dependency was arrested 33 days ago. If you want "aaah" there's plenty of healthy ones to be had. Just grab hold of one of those grandchildren or great-grands of yours and give them a big big hug.

Millions of words here at Freedom but still just one rule ... no nicotine today!
Breathe deep, hug hard, live long Connie!

John (Gold x9)
Last edited by John (Gold) on June 27th, 2009, 4:49 am, edited 6 times in total.
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ConnieLynn062408
ConnieLynn062408

July 27th, 2008, 11:07 am #56

I don't know how to express my gratitude for all the help I have received at WhyQuit and Freedom. I smoked for all my adult life, never able to get past a day or so without smokes until I found this site. No, I can't remember what it was like before I started smoking - it has been part of life for me for so long.

Thank you Sal for the link - I did read and read there for a long time, and it did help. Candle, my friend, I very much appreciate your post and it made lots of good sense to me. More than that, I appreciate that all of you cared enough to write.

John, I feel the need to apologize to you. I am struggling with this quitting business, and just have it on my mind all the time that a cigarette would "taste" so good, or bring back the ahhh feeling. I struggle to keep a positive attitude, but feel like crying much of the time. What I didn't tell you earlier, too, is that I decided to quit one evening before going to bed. In the morning, I grabbed a smoke with my coffee as I had done for so many years. Well, it "tasted" sooooo good! But I was mad at myself for not keeping my promise to myself, so put it out and didn't smoke after that first one that morning. Now, 33 days later, all I can think about is the smoke I had that morning! I know fully well that most of the smokes don't give that satisfaction feeling, but...... some do.

I don't want to blame your words for this junky thinking, I was only trying to say that this reminded me of the ahhh smokes, and made me wonder what would happen if I had "just one". I needed the statistics you gave me in your reply to help with all the war going on in my mind! Thank you very much for your response, and especially for all your time and effort on this site. It is easy for me to be convinced that you are saving lives, and you should bask in that knowledge. I really believe that although this is one of the hardest things I have ever done, I will make it through, and I couldn't or wouldn't have done it without you. I have learned that every quit is different, and that quitting is not an event, but a process. One day at a time, and NTAP for all of us. Thanks again, Connie
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RobinS614
RobinS614

July 27th, 2008, 2:30 pm #57

"In the morning, I grabbed a smoke with my coffee as I had done for so many years. Well, it "tasted" sooooo good!"

Ah but Connie, there are no taste buds in the lungs. Being that it was your first cigarette of the morning, what you probably felt was "relief" at your nicotine levels in your blood being topped up after falling through the night . Not surprising though that it made you feel like it "tasted" so good......that was the monumental lie we all lived whilst we were feeding addicts.

The truth was / is / always will be that nicotine only ever relieves it's own absence. Here's the thing though.........33 days after your last nicotine ingestion, there is no nicotine level to maintain in your blood because your blood is finally free of all nicotine.

No nicotine in blood = No withdrawal from nicotine = No relief on fresh ingestion of nicotine = No Ahhhh sensation

Having a puff after 33 days of abstinence will generate no Ahhh feeling - it will more than likely generate a coughing, choking, gagging, nauseating feeling - like that first puff we ever took in our younger days.......remember that? To say nothing of the mental trauma that a relapse will generate. To say nothing of the fact that we may never have another quit left in us.

Junkie self talk and romanticizing a cigarette is what I think is happening in your case. It's pretty common, especially in the early stags of our quits when we are "rewiring our brains" and breaking the various associations that we had developed with nicotine in our everyday lives.
Congratulations on Green !
Robin - 2 years 1 month
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candle61
candle61

July 27th, 2008, 7:40 pm #58

Hello Connie Lynn, so you're green! You have been a whole month without poisoning yourself and from what you say your quit is a difficult one. Well, I believe that you must be a very strong person to have achieved that. I'm writing to you because I was talking to a friend, who also happens to be the other grandmother of my grandson; She just quit. Something we never believed she could do because she " loved " smoking, she " couldn't live without a cigarette " and so on. She was a heavy smoker for most of her life but got a scare some 2 weeks ago because she couldn't breathe ( emphysema ). She doesn't want to talk about it because she is mad, angry, negotiating with herself all the time and so on. The fact is that even after quitting nicotine still dominates her life as it does to all of us. We are all junkies. We think about nicotine every single day of our lifes until we will reach a comfort zone.Do you think that's normal, allowing this drug to have such an important role in our short lives? This is what happens to us, all of us until we can forget about it. I hope it doesn't take very long because I'm really getting fed up with this whole junkie thinking, I just want to tell it "get off my back" and leave me alone. Your body is greening, repairing itself. If you're a person concerned with environment issues, think of your body as you think of the Earth. Take care of yourself quit sister and my congratulations for being green.
Last edited by candle61 on June 26th, 2009, 11:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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suzysuzysuzy1
suzysuzysuzy1

July 28th, 2008, 8:14 am #59

Thank you for what you do. You have changed my life.

I have been quit for 2 Years, 2 Months, 1 Week, 1 Day, 21 hours, 16 minutes and 45 seconds (800 days). I have saved $6,427.10 by not smoking 24,026 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Months, 3 Weeks, 1 Day, 10 hours and 10 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 5/18/2006 11:00 PM
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JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

July 28th, 2008, 11:05 am #60

Last edited by JoeJFree Gold on June 26th, 2009, 11:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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alley cat 65
alley cat 65

July 28th, 2008, 7:25 pm #61

Wow, this post/video really resonated with me. Even after +2 years I still have days where I physically feel as if I just quit the day before and "I want one so bad".. Now I realize that the feeling is stress and smoking is how I dealt with it for over 25 years. The point of the video though is dealing with the "I want one..." and, fortunately, my internal debate goes something like this:
I think "I want one"
"But you can't have one"
"But I really want one"
"But you know you can't have just one"
And that's what stops me every time. I can't have just one because it's inevitable that that one will lead to two, then to three and so on until I'm right back where I left off. NTAP. It's as simple as and at times as difficult as that.

My name is Barbara, and I am a nicotine addict.
I have stopped nicotine for 2 years, 3 months, 28 days, 15 hours, 54 minutes and 57 seconds (850 days).
I've saved 44 days, 7 hours and 19 minutes of my life.
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JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

November 6th, 2008, 3:32 am #62

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JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

November 14th, 2008, 8:33 am #63

The one puff files
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JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

December 25th, 2008, 2:54 am #64

Quoting Joel's initial post:
Look at smoking in real terms and you will walk away from each urge with a sense of relief and accomplishement. Fantasize about them and you may walk away with a feeling of deprivation. You are not depriving yourself of anything, you are ridding yourself of a deadly addiction. See them for what they are and you will stay forever resolute to never take another puff!
Last edited by JoeJFree Gold on June 27th, 2009, 4:47 am, edited 4 times in total.
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tamid
tamid

June 26th, 2009, 8:01 pm #65

I never thought about it like this. I do believe this will help everytime I think I want just one. I will just picture that handful and know that is what I will be doing every day for the rest of my life and this is not what I want. I want to live to see my kids and grandkids, to get outside and play ball and jump on the trampoline and run like I haven't been able to do because of the nicotine I thought I had to have. From now on I will never take another puff.

Tammy - Free and Healing for Four Days, 7 Hours and 24 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 7 Hours, by avoiding the use of 86 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $24.13.
Last edited by tamid on June 27th, 2009, 4:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
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