I used to be like that.

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

13 Feb 2006, 10:16 #21

Thanks for this post, Ang, and congratulations on your greening. It's pretty amazing how we used to live our lives, isn't it? Reading the description of your friend was very interesting for me: my first reaction was to think, wow, this guy is off the hook. A cigarette before the hike, and at the beginning of the hike, and at the break at the waterfall, and at the start down the hill, as well as no doubt a few more during the hike, and I'll bet he lit up just as soon as you got into the car to drive back!! This is a serious chainsmoker. On the heels of this thought came another one: actually he's not that unusual. More saliently: that's the kind of smoker I was. I used to mark every occasion, emotion, break time, start of something, end of something, turning point, etc., with a cigarette. And I remember what a huge junkie it made me feel like when I was the only smoker in a group of people.

What's really amazing is that this used to strike us as normal, reasonable behavior. Congratulations on your hard-earned quit; you've clearly got the right attitude to succeed. I enjoyed reading this post a lot, and I promise you that this is just going to get better and better and better. Good for you and keep up the great work!


SandraJ0 Gold1
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:01

24 Jun 2006, 02:03 #22

Image Love this post.
Sandy Everyday I choose freedom over addiction, and pause to rejoice that it is indeed MY choice.
Today is day 146 (4 Months, 3 Weeks, 5 Days, 4 hours and 3 minutes). Started living MY life again on 1/28/2006 11:00am

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

24 Jun 2006, 04:42 #23

I remember reading this some time during the first week I quit. It dawned on me when I saw it today that not only did I use to be like that, but just one puff would put me back there again.

Kristie - Free and Healing for Four Months, Six Days, 19 Hours and 11 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 8 Days and 19 Hours, by avoiding the use of 2536 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $412.98.

Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 18:56

05 Aug 2006, 00:33 #24

I think what really hit me was the "every event was marked by a cigarette". Oh yes, how I remember that. I deluded myself I was celebrating. Or relaxing. Or.. fill in the blank.

I still want to smoke but I'm a baby quitter. I may want to, now and then, but I will not. Thanks for this post. It's going into my tool box for those craving times.


Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 23:33

05 Aug 2006, 09:25 #25

I can totally relate. I can't believe how much people stink to me now. In junior high and high school I thought my teachers, coaches, and parents couldn't smell the smoke on me because I would spray perfume after I lit up. They always found out I'd smoked. My mother told me that non-smokers could always smell the smokers. Now I realize how foolish I'd been. I considered myself to be a "polite smoker," always stepping outside away from crowds and never smoking around children. But the stench that lingered on me must have agrivated thousands of people during my thirteen year smoking career. And i'ts nice to be able to smell my shampoo! That's my favorite part.
unpolluted since March 29, 2006

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:02

05 Aug 2006, 09:45 #26

Perfect. I have been trying to figure out why I am craving a cig after a good work out at the gym. It's been driving me crazy all week because I only overlapped the gym and quitting smoking by one week.

"Every event was marked by a cigarette" just gave me the answer. My success at the gym is telling me to smoke about it to mark the event. Voila! Now I can combat it. Thanks.

I always considered myself a "polite smoker" too. Funny how even in this early stage of my quit I can see how deluded my thinking was.

I don't know anything because I'm new at this but I'm learning all the time.

17 days free

Chipits GOLD.ffn
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

08 Aug 2006, 05:49 #27

I was like that too. ....every event, every break in the day, always a "reward" for every little thing I would do.......Wake up....smoke.....Have cofee.....smoke.......do crossword/sudoku....smoke.......put on makeup....smoke....get in car....smoke....drive a few miles......smoke......smoke JUST before I get where I'm going.........smoke just as I was leaving wherever.........smoke while I rolled smokes (when I did that) smoke before a meal....smoke after a meal .....smoking became equated with thinking and pondering and doing ANYthing and I do mean any thing (well, in the shower is a bit redundant, but the bath tub was do-able).........some smokes smoked themselves, like the ones I forgot about on the edge of a sink or that fell out of an ashtray.....I remember being able to smoke, not only in grocery stores and banks, but in doctors' offices whether G.P. or E.N.T. specialists........Before July 7th, my quit date, the only places I couldn't smoke were the societal restricted and common sense places, like church or holding a baby........but every thing else was fair game .....At some point , smoking goes beyond mere choices and we are faced with an addiction that will lie, hide, cheat, compromise, deny ,steal, kill and destroy.......I REGRET having ever STARTED smoking, but I am so GLAD that I have stopped. After 39 years of smoking, I am done with it.....Those who have never smoked, already have" freedom" , but we who have an addiction and then find freedom are able to celebrate what we have lost or forgotten and relish in a newness of life that

Chipits GOLD.ffn
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

08 Aug 2006, 06:08 #28

(cont. from above).........that was ours for the taking all along, but we were blinded. Now that I can 'see', I don't ever want to return to a life of slavery to nicotine....I am now able to feel an inhalation, rise up without the aches, feel in control, smell better,( good thing most of the time)....I have more $$ wallowing in my purse, and I feel excited that I have made a positive change like other "freedomites" that we can celebrate together , knowing we have made a good and wise choice for us and those we love and for those who might benefit from our experiences here. I have forgiven myself, so that I may move forward in my renewed world where NTAP is not only required, but embraced................
And all this in a mere month since quit date. WOW......who would have 'thunk' it!!

Wendy .......one month free

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:22

09 Aug 2006, 02:33 #29

I not only thought of myself as a polite smoker but, I didn't think that people could smell it on me either. I think about how many times I turned away or dodged a kiss from mu husband because I didn't want him to have to smell or taste a cigarette even for a quick peck- I did this with my daughter too. I would go outside to smoke- these were called "Mommy's breaks" and I remember the first time I heard my daughter say while playing with friends that she had to "go take a break" I felt like the worst parent in the world. I think about how often I deluded myslef into thinking that people couldn't smell it on me--

Also, I recently had to make a long drive (13 hrs) and after reaching my destination I got the strongest urge for a smoke I had experienced since quitting and I realized, that's what I did, I finished something- anything -and I smoked-- EEEEEeeek! so many things about smoking still make me so mad!!

12 Days, 18 Hours and 15 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 21 Hours, by avoiding the use of 255 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $61.03.

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:06

29 Aug 2006, 21:29 #30

I can really relate to the part about looking at people (especially those I care about) and knowing that they don't have a choice in wether they smoke or not. They NEED to have the fix. I always thought it was my "choice" (although, deep down, I knew the truth). I have been recommending this web site to several family members and friends that claim they want to quit but "can't". What I hear now from these people is that they want to quit but "won't". I always said it was too hard for me to accomplish and even when I started this quit, I planned on failing (how sick is that???) but then I started reading here and realized that I could quit and STAY quit, I just needed to choose that way of life.

I punchuated everything in my life with smoking....happy, sad, good, bad or indifferent.....then I had a person say to me last November.."Why don't you think you're worth it?" That said a lot to me and I set a quit day for 12/27/06, never intending to STAY quit, like I said.....but magic happened and here I am, 7 months later, nicotine free. And I love my way of life now.

sandy -a nicotine addict who hasn't used nicotine for Seven Months, Twenty Three Days, 12 Hours and 12 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 12 Days and 6 Hours, by avoiding the use of 3533 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $535.06.