I used to be like that.

karenelizabethsr
karenelizabethsr

February 10th, 2005, 10:18 am #11

Ang,
I can really identify with your message, I love it! Today, my experience with stench is my husband, who has agreed to smoke outside. I am grateful for this but he really does stink when he comes back in. In the old days I might have been triggered by that. Now it is a reminder that what I'm doing is sooo much better than before. What is really cool is how much extra time I have now to do things.
Thanks for your message.
Karen
Karen - Free and Healing for Eighteen Days, 22 Hours and 6 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day and 15 Hours, by avoiding the use of 473 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $106.51.
Quote
Share

sophiaduvall
sophiaduvall

February 10th, 2005, 7:28 pm #12

Angmoon, great post! I'm like all the rest of these folks, it's amazing how any break was smoking time. Any break at all. I had a strange feeling the first time I made pasta after I quit, like I was missing something, something wasn't right. Then I realized...I'd use those few minutes while the water was boiling to have a cigarette. That was all. And when I wondered how I had no time to do all the little things I had to do....well now I know why.

Thanks for posting!



Sophia
5 1/2 months
Quote
Share

Shinelady Gold3282003
Shinelady Gold3282003

February 10th, 2005, 7:53 pm #13

Great post Ang,
Your friend is like most of us once were, it seems. He is smoking himself to death and says he can't quit because it's too hard. Yes, I thought that about myself also. I thought I was different, but I am so thankful to be quit now. And about that smell... it is so hard to believe we ever smelled like that, isn't it? I still wonder why I couldn't smell it when I was smoking. Hope you can inspire your friend to quit. It is so hard to watch those we care about continue to smoke when we know all they have to do is never take another puff.
yqs,sue-Gold
One year, ten months, one week, five days, 13 hours, 0 minutes and 21 seconds. 27381 cigarettes not smoked, saving $3,956.65. Life saved: 13 weeks, 4 days, 1 hour, 45 minutes.
Quote
Share

coryw42
coryw42

February 10th, 2005, 10:24 pm #14

What a fantastic post, I really needed to read very badly. Today makes two weeks that I quit smoking, the night times are the hardest for me for some reason. Last night I had another smoking dream so this morning was the first time in days that I woke up craving a cigarette but for only a few seconds. I have not had a migraine headache since I have quit smoking, I am use to having at least two a week, so that right there has been a big reason for me not to light up. Yes, I will make it through today and I will NTAP.

Cory
Quote
Share

Pryde65 GOLD
Pryde65 GOLD

February 10th, 2005, 10:27 pm #15

Ang, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this...as everyone has said...great post. I could see myself on both sides of that story...could clearly see the old me, just like your friend, and then myself now, as you were, reflecting as you experienced this day through new eyes. Yep, we've all been there. It is good to remember this and see it clearly.

Thank you for sharing.

Sue -Free for Four Months, Twenty Eight Days, 10 Hours and 41 Minutes, living an extra 16 Days and 17 Hours, didn't smoke 4814 cigs, and saving $1,017.27.
Quote
Share

Pryde65 GOLD
Pryde65 GOLD

February 10th, 2005, 10:29 pm #16

Oh, and as I read, I could smell the smell you spoke of...both the whiff of stale smoke that clings to a smoker's clothes, and then later, that sudden scent that overtakes the natural smells so fully as it wafts by when someone lights up...I must say, I much prefer the smells of nature. Glad I am not contributing to covering that up now!!!

Sue
Quote
Share

JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

February 11th, 2005, 4:32 am #17

Ang,
Thank you for sharing and your great way of putting things into perspective.
Every day in some way someone who shares this journey brings me a . On this snowy, blowy & cold 'lake effect' Thursday I am now thinking about how much more enjoyable my annual pilgramage to my native Pennsylvania mountains for a week of trout fishing will be in early April.
Quote
Share

GoldenDivamom1972
GoldenDivamom1972

February 11th, 2005, 10:16 am #18

I noticed that as well, Karen. When my boyfriend walked in the door tonight, I could smell his pipe smoke (the smell of which I used to *love*, by the way!) all the way from the kitchen, a distance of approximately 10 feet. To be honest, the smell just about knocked me over. Now I know how my non-smoking parents must have felt every time my daughters and I walked into *their* house. Boy, did I ever stink!

But not anymore!

Amy
Free and Healing for One Month, Eight Days, 15 Hours and 16 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 4 Days, by avoiding the use of 1159 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $290.23.
Quote
Share

SueMason2
SueMason2

February 12th, 2006, 1:06 am #19

Thanks for bringing this one up Joe - I think that we can all relate to this - again, to both the smoker and the ex-smoker. I think we all feel the pain and embarrassment when we first realize just how obvious the smell of smoke is. Just the other night a new acquaintance told me that no one at work knew that she smoked. I didn't say anything but I did think "right! have they all had their noses removed or something??" I remember my sister telling me that the smell of smoke on me was worse in the winter - I used to just think she was being my obnoxious older sister - picky picky picky ....... now I know she was not only older, but wiser (she never smoked).

It's hard not to turn into a crusader quitting this way - you just wanna shout it from the rooftops FREEEDOMMMM!!! IT'S SOOOOOO SIMPLE...... but then the smokers just say you're being a santimonious pain in the neck and watch you like a hawk to try to see if you're going to slip up and smoke. Someone asked me the other day if I wanted to try one just to remind myself how much I didn't like them - I said , you know what?? I don't like okra but I don't need to put it in my mouth every once in awhile to remind myself how much I don't like it. I just know!

This is a great post - and great replies - well worth bringing up - thanks again,

Susan (green and grateful)
Quote
Share

Em B 12106
Em B 12106

February 13th, 2006, 1:44 am #20

Thank you for this post Ang. I nearly cried for your friend (and all smokers) as I read your words. I'm feelin' ya!

Em
Three weeks, 14 hours, 36 minutes and 0 seconds. 324 cigarettes not smoked, saving $68.71. Life saved: 1 day, 3 hours, 0 minutes.
Quote
Share

GreenSolveg
GreenSolveg

February 13th, 2006, 10:16 am #21

Thanks for this post, Ang, and congratulations on your greening. It's pretty amazing how we used to live our lives, isn't it? Reading the description of your friend was very interesting for me: my first reaction was to think, wow, this guy is off the hook. A cigarette before the hike, and at the beginning of the hike, and at the break at the waterfall, and at the start down the hill, as well as no doubt a few more during the hike, and I'll bet he lit up just as soon as you got into the car to drive back!! This is a serious chainsmoker. On the heels of this thought came another one: actually he's not that unusual. More saliently: that's the kind of smoker I was. I used to mark every occasion, emotion, break time, start of something, end of something, turning point, etc., with a cigarette. And I remember what a huge junkie it made me feel like when I was the only smoker in a group of people.

What's really amazing is that this used to strike us as normal, reasonable behavior. Congratulations on your hard-earned quit; you've clearly got the right attitude to succeed. I enjoyed reading this post a lot, and I promise you that this is just going to get better and better and better. Good for you and keep up the great work!

Erica--2xGold
Quote
Share

SandraJ0 Gold1
SandraJ0 Gold1

June 24th, 2006, 2:03 am #22

Love this post.
Sandy Everyday I choose freedom over addiction, and pause to rejoice that it is indeed MY choice.
Today is day 146 (4 Months, 3 Weeks, 5 Days, 4 hours and 3 minutes). Started living MY life again on 1/28/2006 11:00am
Quote
Share

Kristie
Kristie

June 24th, 2006, 4:42 am #23

I remember reading this some time during the first week I quit. It dawned on me when I saw it today that not only did I use to be like that, but just one puff would put me back there again.

Kristie - Free and Healing for Four Months, Six Days, 19 Hours and 11 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 8 Days and 19 Hours, by avoiding the use of 2536 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $412.98.
Quote
Share

Adsaka
Adsaka

August 5th, 2006, 12:33 am #24

I think what really hit me was the "every event was marked by a cigarette". Oh yes, how I remember that. I deluded myself I was celebrating. Or relaxing. Or.. fill in the blank.

I still want to smoke but I'm a baby quitter. I may want to, now and then, but I will not. Thanks for this post. It's going into my tool box for those craving times.

A
Quote
Share

LittleStream8
LittleStream8

August 5th, 2006, 9:25 am #25

I can totally relate. I can't believe how much people stink to me now. In junior high and high school I thought my teachers, coaches, and parents couldn't smell the smoke on me because I would spray perfume after I lit up. They always found out I'd smoked. My mother told me that non-smokers could always smell the smokers. Now I realize how foolish I'd been. I considered myself to be a "polite smoker," always stepping outside away from crowds and never smoking around children. But the stench that lingered on me must have agrivated thousands of people during my thirteen year smoking career. And i'ts nice to be able to smell my shampoo! That's my favorite part.
-River
unpolluted since March 29, 2006
Quote
Share

FishingRodLady
FishingRodLady

August 5th, 2006, 9:45 am #26

Perfect. I have been trying to figure out why I am craving a cig after a good work out at the gym. It's been driving me crazy all week because I only overlapped the gym and quitting smoking by one week.

"Every event was marked by a cigarette" just gave me the answer. My success at the gym is telling me to smoke about it to mark the event. Voila! Now I can combat it. Thanks.

I always considered myself a "polite smoker" too. Funny how even in this early stage of my quit I can see how deluded my thinking was.

I don't know anything because I'm new at this but I'm learning all the time.


Sharon
17 days free
Quote
Share

Chipits GOLD.ffn
Chipits GOLD.ffn

August 8th, 2006, 5:49 am #27

I was like that too. ....every event, every break in the day, always a "reward" for every little thing I would do.......Wake up....smoke.....Have cofee.....smoke.......do crossword/sudoku....smoke.......put on makeup....smoke....get in car....smoke....drive a few miles......smoke......smoke JUST before I get where I'm going.........smoke just as I was leaving wherever.........smoke while I rolled smokes (when I did that) smoke before a meal....smoke after a meal .....smoking became equated with thinking and pondering and doing ANYthing and I do mean any thing (well, in the shower is a bit redundant, but the bath tub was do-able).........some smokes smoked themselves, like the ones I forgot about on the edge of a sink or that fell out of an ashtray.....I remember being able to smoke, not only in grocery stores and banks, but in doctors' offices whether G.P. or E.N.T. specialists........Before July 7th, my quit date, the only places I couldn't smoke were the societal restricted and common sense places, like church or holding a baby........but every thing else was fair game .....At some point , smoking goes beyond mere choices and we are faced with an addiction that will lie, hide, cheat, compromise, deny ,steal, kill and destroy.......I REGRET having ever STARTED smoking, but I am so GLAD that I have stopped. After 39 years of smoking, I am done with it.....Those who have never smoked, already have" freedom" , but we who have an addiction and then find freedom are able to celebrate what we have lost or forgotten and relish in a newness of life that
Quote
Share

Chipits GOLD.ffn
Chipits GOLD.ffn

August 8th, 2006, 6:08 am #28

(cont. from above).........that was ours for the taking all along, but we were blinded. Now that I can 'see', I don't ever want to return to a life of slavery to nicotine....I am now able to feel an inhalation, rise up without the aches, feel in control, smell better,( good thing most of the time)....I have more $$ wallowing in my purse, and I feel excited that I have made a positive change like other "freedomites" that we can celebrate together , knowing we have made a good and wise choice for us and those we love and for those who might benefit from our experiences here. I have forgiven myself, so that I may move forward in my renewed world where NTAP is not only required, but embraced................
And all this in a mere month since quit date. WOW......who would have 'thunk' it!!

Wendy .......one month free
Quote
Share

brattcliff
brattcliff

August 9th, 2006, 2:33 am #29

I not only thought of myself as a polite smoker but, I didn't think that people could smell it on me either. I think about how many times I turned away or dodged a kiss from mu husband because I didn't want him to have to smell or taste a cigarette even for a quick peck- I did this with my daughter too. I would go outside to smoke- these were called "Mommy's breaks" and I remember the first time I heard my daughter say while playing with friends that she had to "go take a break" I felt like the worst parent in the world. I think about how often I deluded myslef into thinking that people couldn't smell it on me--

Also, I recently had to make a long drive (13 hrs) and after reaching my destination I got the strongest urge for a smoke I had experienced since quitting and I realized, that's what I did, I finished something- anything -and I smoked-- EEEEEeeek! so many things about smoking still make me so mad!!


12 Days, 18 Hours and 15 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 21 Hours, by avoiding the use of 255 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $61.03.
Quote
Share

sondrat123
sondrat123

August 29th, 2006, 9:29 pm #30

I can really relate to the part about looking at people (especially those I care about) and knowing that they don't have a choice in wether they smoke or not. They NEED to have the fix. I always thought it was my "choice" (although, deep down, I knew the truth). I have been recommending this web site to several family members and friends that claim they want to quit but "can't". What I hear now from these people is that they want to quit but "won't". I always said it was too hard for me to accomplish and even when I started this quit, I planned on failing (how sick is that???) but then I started reading here and realized that I could quit and STAY quit, I just needed to choose that way of life.

I punchuated everything in my life with smoking....happy, sad, good, bad or indifferent.....then I had a person say to me last November.."Why don't you think you're worth it?" That said a lot to me and I set a quit day for 12/27/06, never intending to STAY quit, like I said.....but magic happened and here I am, 7 months later, nicotine free. And I love my way of life now.

sandy -a nicotine addict who hasn't used nicotine for Seven Months, Twenty Three Days, 12 Hours and 12 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 12 Days and 6 Hours, by avoiding the use of 3533 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $535.06.
Quote
Share

danneo8
danneo8

November 27th, 2006, 11:54 pm #31

Great idea to bring up this post and it really hit home. I too recently spent time hiking in the hills with smoking friends and noticed the same things mentioned in this post. I have also been noticing all the ways we nico addicts used to mark events, especially this morning. I was wrapping gifts for the holidays to ship off and finished a pile of things and had the urge for a smoke to reward myself and "take a break". I had to smile and remind myself of all the things I've learned here especially about doing routine things that only happen once in a while and how they can be triggers. I suppose with the holidays here I'm going to run into a few more of these moments but I feel able to handle all the old triggers due to my education here. The only time I faltered recently was while visiting and not being able to go outside for a smoke which I now realize I used not just for the nicotene hit but also as an accepted "excuse" to leave the company I was in. You know sometimes it's handy to be able to do that. Now, I've learned to just get away from whomever I don't want to be around and I don't "need" the nicotene excuse to do that. I needed to confront my thinking about some of my relationships with people and sometimes the reality is not pleasant but I probably would have continued to delude myself that I just needed a smoke when I really wanted to get away from some people. Interesting isn't it? All the things we learn about ourselves as we continue on the freedom train. Luck to all and hold tight to the quits----OH HEY, I am BRONZ today which I just realized. I don't even count the weeks anymore which is an amazing thing too! Happy Days to all. pj
Quote
Share

Rickened
Rickened

January 17th, 2007, 1:35 pm #32

Reading this post makes me feel so good!
Thank you Ang




Rick - Free and Healing for Five Months, Fifteen Days
Quote
Share

JoeJFree Gold
JoeJFree Gold

February 14th, 2007, 11:31 pm #33

From: tepake Sent: 2/9/2005 1:40 PM
Ang,

I very much enjoyed your post. It's not often that we have an opportunity to have an objective look at our own behavior, although in this case it's a look at what USED to be our behavior. If only we could have seen ourselves in this light when we were still smoking, we might have quit sooner.

I was talking with another ex-smoker recently and we both remarked that although the smell of a cigarette didn't bother us, the smell of cigarette smoke on a smoker did. Odd. When I think that I used to smell like that, and that I thought I was hiding it from people, I am mortified. Totally embarassed.

In any case, after reading your story I am even more grateful that I no longer need to interrupt my activities, or anyone else's to get a fix.

Thanks for relating this.

Terry
Quote
Share

Tommy Jake
Tommy Jake

April 16th, 2008, 1:05 am #34

I love nature and hiking through the woods. I loved bonding with the natural scenery and smoking seemed such a natural part of everything. It wasn't. I couldn't bear to "bond" my cigarette butts into the natural surroundings, and would instead put them in my pocket until later. I feel so ashamed to have polluted the air of such beautiful places I have visited, smoking all the while I was there.

I look forward to doing these things as a non-smoker,

Tommy
Quote
Share

Lburgguy1
Lburgguy1

April 16th, 2008, 1:29 am #35

I hope I wasn't the only one to have seen some humor in the original post. It is funny to reflect upon how we used to think of cigarettes and how we used to light up at each and every notable point along the way. We were so deluded!!!

Happy to be free of that for 39 days.

John
Quote
Share