"I think I have decided to go back to smoking"

Mandevilla
Joined: 05 Jan 2011, 00:09

16 Jan 2011, 14:20 #41

"By forgetting the medical and psychological dangers associated with cigarette use, you may inadvertently strengthen the side which wishes to take one puff. This often results in more frequent urges of much greater intensity and duration...Never fixate on how nice one puff would be. You no longer have one puff as an option."

This was exactly the state I was in last night, and I got through another day.  I couldn't even "explain" to myself "why" I could not smoke, I just had to refrain from doing it -without negotiating with myself.  I distract myself, or turn my mind away from the subject - just to get through another minute. 

I am in the 16th day of my quit.  Past my 12th day, I started to feel such relief that it was not such a conscious struggle any more.  Then, last night, I went out to dinner with 2 family members who smoke.  They were courteous to not smoke around me, but the association was so strong....the association of them being my "smoking buddies."   I felt depressed while driving home - feeling alone and without companionship - like I could no longer be with my family members who smoke, without feeling torturous urges.  

Everything I have read here says it gets easier, confronting new associations makes them weaker.  Knowing all that, last night was still a hard one, or maybe just a new one for ME.  I have no doubt everyone on this site has had the same feelings of loss.  I have to learn how to replace that loss with happiness.  I am still learning how - and getting through it one day at a time, knowing that one puff is absolutely out of the question - even if I cannot rationally understand it at the moment.  This site got me through a cold turkey quit - and everything written here was true during that withdrawal so I choose to believe that everything else is truth also - especially to never, ever take another puff. 

If anyone has helpful ideas about how to be with smoking family members and not feel down or dejected, I am all ears. 
Thank you -everyone - for such helpful information here. 
Lisa (Mandevilla is a flower)
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Joel Spitzer
Joined: 13 Nov 2008, 14:04

16 Jan 2011, 15:14 #42

The Palmolive Bottle Demonstration
Another slant on how to watch people smoke
Negative support from others
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]Thoughts that seem worse than the first days urges[/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]"You said it would get better. It's just as bad as the day I quit smoking!"[/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF][font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]Fixating on a cigarette.[/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]I want one...[/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]"Just think about something else."[/font]
[/font]

[font=GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF][font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]The Urge Hits![/font][/font]
[font=GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF][font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]Why am I still having "urges?"[/font][/font]
[font=GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF][font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF][/font][size=100][font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, ... g Triggers[/font][/font][/size]
[font=GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF][font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF][/font][size=100][font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, ... g Triggers[/font][/font][/size]

[font=GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]My Cigarette, My Friend[/font]
[font=GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]Quitting can be a very lonely experience[/font]
[font=GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]Emotional Loss Experienced from Quitting Smoking
"Boy, do I miss smoking!"
[/font]
Last edited by Joel Spitzer on 16 Jan 2011, 15:16, edited 1 time in total.
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Mandevilla
Joined: 05 Jan 2011, 00:09

16 Jan 2011, 15:53 #43

Thank you so very, very much.
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Sarah52
Joined: 02 Dec 2009, 01:52

18 Jan 2011, 18:45 #44

I love flowers. I'll have to research that one.

Mandevilla; you have truely conquered another trigger moment in your quit. I DOES get better. You have lost nothing; and gained back your life!

I too, felt a great loss, in the beginning. I cried many times. I really never thought i would be happy without my nicotine.

it's just our junkie addict thinking.. don't give in to it. it is powerful but you are stronger than nicotine.

the two articles Joel brought up, that I re-read often are MY CIGARETTE, MY FRIEND
AND QUITTING CAN BE A VERY LONELY EXPERIENCE.

you are doing fine! Keep up the great quit!

remember, 1=ALL
NTAP one day at a time
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Mandevilla
Joined: 05 Jan 2011, 00:09

18 Jan 2011, 23:48 #45

Thank you Sarah52!
I am in my 18th day now, and feeling stronger.  I am on guard, and will stay on guard, because I am too proud of my quit to take it for granted.  
I read something on here last night in the "the Urge Hits" thread that someone wrote.  Wow.  Revelation time.  It had something to do with attaching all our emotions to cigarettes.  I realized that every, single one of my "elevated" emotions was embedded in association with having a cigarette!  If I was REALLY happy - had to have a cigarette.  If I was REALLY angry - had to have a cigarette.  If I was REALLY sad - had to have a cigarette.  I have attached all solutions to my emotional highs and lows to having a cigarette.  I have some work to do to break those associations....but at least I realize now what I have to do.
What I also realized is that going out to eat with family members was not really the crux of what I was feeling - it was that I was having some personal stressors (have to pay taxes soon, have to solve a problem with the heating system in my home....etc) and what I was not putting front and center is that THOSE stress factors were what was making me anxious - not the association of my "smoking buddy" family members.  It was the other problems looming in my mind - and I was just piling on top of the mountain "and I can't even smoke with my family....woe is me....I cannot win...."   
After I read those thoughts (could have been a compilation of a few people) I took action on solving some of my "problems" the next day:  I called the IRS, I called a heating system company...and my anxiety lifted- it completely lifted. 

My anxiety had nothing to do with a cigarette - but I have conditioned my mind to think it does.  The subconscious mind can be re-conditioned - as John wrote in the thread I mentioned above:
 "it's likely that most all of us allowed our emotions to serve as feeding cues. The good part is that it doesn't take brainwashing or even repeated encounters with the same triggers before the subconscious mind abandons them as cues. The subconscious isn't capable of independent thought. It simply reacts to the input provided."

Anyway - thank you Sarah52 and John and Joel.
I am into my 18th day evening and learning so much.  My goodness, what an incredible journey.
Mandevilla Lisa
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SallyMC
Joined: 23 Jul 2011, 20:44

18 Aug 2011, 13:31 #46

Brilliant Joel, so true.  I have saved it into my best folder in case I am ever stupid enough to think smoking again is a good idea as opposed to this, the reality.  Many thanks
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josnewlife
Joined: 13 Oct 2011, 19:30

30 Oct 2011, 20:20 #47

Fantastic reading! Thanks.

Jo 23 days
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Joe J free
Joined: 18 Jan 2009, 06:57

13 Dec 2011, 15:12 #48

[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]For anyone fixating on "a cigarette." Smoking "a cigarette" or just taking a drag is tantamount to relapsing to an addiction to thousands of cigarettes a year, tens of thousands of cigarettes over a decade and hundreds of thousands of cigarettes over a shortened lifetime. It also translates into ruined health and a quality impaired life. It means smelling like a cigarette, and facing chronic withdrawals. Remember cigarettes for what they were and what they were going to do to you over time and you will never question your desire to never take another puff![/font][font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF][/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]Joel[/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]
[/font]

[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]See also:  "I made a conscious decision to smoke"[/font]
[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]
[/font]

[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]
[/font]

[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]and I don't know if I have another quit in me.[/font]
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mikevio
Joined: 26 May 2012, 21:42

29 May 2012, 20:10 #49

NOPE is tough but Ive found it truly a life saver.  I have seen others succumb with just one puff!
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