"By forgetting the medical and psychological dangers associated with cigarette use, you may inadvertently strengthen the side which wishes to take one puff. This often results in more frequent urges of much greater intensity and duration...Never fixate on how nice one puff would be. You no longer have one puff as an option."
This was exactly the state I was in last night, and I got through another day. I couldn't even "explain" to myself "why" I could not smoke, I just had to refrain from doing it -without negotiating with myself. I distract myself, or turn my mind away from the subject - just to get through another minute.
I am in the 16th day of my quit. Past my 12th day, I started to feel such relief that it was not such a conscious struggle any more. Then, last night, I went out to dinner with 2 family members who smoke. They were courteous to not smoke around me, but the association was so strong....the association of them being my "smoking buddies." I felt depressed while driving home - feeling alone and without companionship - like I could no longer be with my family members who smoke, without feeling torturous urges.
Everything I have read here says it gets easier, confronting new associations makes them weaker. Knowing all that, last night was still a hard one, or maybe just a new one for ME. I have no doubt everyone on this site has had the same feelings of loss. I have to learn how to replace that loss with happiness. I am still learning how - and getting through it one day at a time, knowing that one puff is absolutely out of the question - even if I cannot rationally understand it at the moment. This site got me through a cold turkey quit - and everything written here was true during that withdrawal so I choose to believe that everything else is truth also - especially to never, ever take another puff.
If anyone has helpful ideas about how to be with smoking family members and not feel down or dejected, I am all ears.
Thank you -everyone - for such helpful information here.
Lisa (Mandevilla is a flower)