I need help...

I need help...

Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:01

22 Jan 2004, 14:32 #1

I've been without the use of any form of nicotine for little over 3 weeks now. For you goldies out there, I have a question. Really, how long before the "thoughts" are not with me? I'm not trying to make excuses, but it seems like that I'm still thinking about smoking, or not smoking. It's making me feel like, I'm weak, and maybe I'll always feel like this. It doesn't help that my parents, and now my brother smoke. It's hard to be around cigarettes all the time. My husband is in the army, and we are living overseas now, where smoking EVERYWHERE is permitted. There are no "non-smoking" sections....

I get comfort from reading from the "golden" people's messages, and the promise of "comfort". I don't want to sound pitiful, so I haven't been posting. I feel like everyone is feeling so "GREAT" and I feel so "NOT". It's like being a party-pooper. IT's not like I feel bad all the time, but I still think about it quite a bit. I've been smoking for more than half my life. 20 years. (2 pack a day) I didn't quit because I had health issues, or because I was ostracized. I didn't quit because the money was an issue. I quit because my children are getting older, and I don't want them to smoke. I never want them to. Because I knew I was an addict, but I really didn't care. BUT I don't want them to be. And how can I tell them no, when I can't even tell myself no??

One question is turning into a full page...sorry. Back to the question. When does it get better?? Thanks in advance for your help. Honestly, without this site, I wouldn't of made it 2 hours.
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:01

22 Jan 2004, 14:39 #2

Tigerlily~ I can relate to you totally!!! 100%!! I remember feeling the same exact way...like everybody else was celebrating how great they felt while it seemed like I constantly thought of how I smoked, how long it had been since I smoked, how I used to smoke after a meal or in a stressful situation etc....BUT....it does go away...(The thinking about smoking issues). I can't give you a definite time, boy I wish I could because I rememebr wanting a definite time when it would "get better", but I will tell you that for me it was around the 4-6 week mark. I felt a lot better at three weeks but stopped thinking about it constantly around 4-6 weeks. You WILL feel better soon...I promise. I wish you all the best and may I say, you are giving yourself as well as your children a wonderful gift....your life back as a non smoker...WAY TO GO!!!
Michelle
free and healing for almost 4 months.
p.s. I hope this helped. By the way, where are you at overseas? Just wondering.
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Joined: 12 Jan 2009, 22:38

22 Jan 2004, 15:03 #3

Dear Tigerlily,

I swear it gets so much better. I still think about cigarettes, but not often and not enough to actually ruin my quit. I just don't want to have to start all over again. Mostly, I just wonder why it took me so long to do this and why I allowed cigarettes to control me for 25 years! Hang in there! The time will go by whether you smoke or not, and in a few months you'll look at your post and be SO glad you stuck it out.

Anitamcb
I've been quit for 3 months, 23 days, 15 hours, 3 minutes and 7 seconds (115 days).
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:01

22 Jan 2004, 15:12 #4

Thank you for replying so quickly! We are stationed in Japan. This country is filled with smokers, all of them it seems like. LOL. You can smoke in the malls, elevators, restraunts, parks, you name it, you can smoke there. It's not seen as something "undesirable" here.

We're heading over to Korea this summer for another tour, and It's not going to be easy there either. I read someplace like 60% of the men smoke there. But hopeully, by then, I can be so over this, that it won't effect me one way or another.

Thanks again for your supports!
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

22 Jan 2004, 19:11 #5

Congratulations on your quit so far. You are well past the physical withdrawals, and you will begin to feel better as long as you never take another puff. Every quit is different so there is no definate answer to your question that will set a day you are going to feel better. Here are some posts that deal with emotional experiences you will deal with when you quit smoking:

Emotional Loss Experienced from Quitting Smoking
Turning the Corner... Acceptance

It gets easier once you get through all of the steps mentioned in the article, although ALL ex-smokers occasionally think about smoking.

These might help you as well:
Being tempted watching others smoke
Fixating on a cigarette.

I know that you are not weak, as you say you feel. Anyone who successfully quits smoking is not weak. You have quit and now you must work on staying quit. Focus on why you quit, and think about all the positive aspects of not smoking (health, smell better, money, etc.)

Stay strong! Never take another puff!

Jennaroo
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

22 Jan 2004, 19:40 #6

Good morning, Tigerlily. Your question has a different answer for everybody. Our quits are so individual. Here is a post of mine when I reached the point of realizing the thoughts would not always take up huge amounts of space in my day: Good News for NEWBIES! And my favorite thread is this one: Success Stories: Before and After. I recommend that you read the entire thing. All the struggles, all the junkie thoughts, all the realizations that comfort was growing are in there.

What concerns me is your statement that you didn't quit for yourself and didn't really care that you are an addict. You say you quit for your kids. If you don't care about this for you then I have deep concerns about how you will maintain your quit. Do you really not care that you are an addict? Were you enjoying active addiction? Or are you far enough away from it that you are forgetting the reality of what it is like to have your actions controlled by a drug?

Please think about all the realities of your addiction. There are a gazillion reasons why quitting was a good choice for you, not just your kids. I think you need to be really clear about those reasons because those will help you through any tough moments.

You have a beautiful quit happening there. Continue to read and learn about this addiction of ours. Feel free to post and participate. This is a fascinating, hard, funny, difficult, emotion-filled, surprising, and ultimately, joyful journey we are on. It is an act of self-love to move into this place of freedom.

Best wishes to you,
Parker - 19 months

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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

22 Jan 2004, 20:11 #7

Hello Tigerlily:

Here are a series of posts that address your concerns here:

The Urge Hits!

Why am I still having "urges?"

"Just think about something else."

"You said it would get better. It's just as bad as the day I quit smoking!"

Thoughts that seem worse than the first days urges

Smoking Triggers

Actions speak louder than words - or thought
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:40

22 Jan 2004, 20:54 #8

I can only imagine how your feeling. I have been adament so far in my quit about only going to places where not smoking is allowed. On Saturday we went out for dinner and were too early, so we stopped in a pub to have a drink before dinner. The entire time I stared at all of the cigarettes and ashtrays with this nearly uncontrollable desire (of course I DID control it), I don't think I'll be visiting a bar again very soon. Other than that the only places I've really been are home and work and I've been able to control my cravings in these environments. It's strange cause when I smoked I was so annoyed that so many places did not allow smokingg and now I wish that NO place allowed smoking!

My thoughts are with you in your struggle. Be strong. Seems from what I've read on this site that the "comfort" level is coming for you very soon!

Kelly - Free and Healing for 1 Week, 3 Days and 47 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 16 Hours, by avoiding the use of 201 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $33.22.
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:01

22 Jan 2004, 21:23 #9

Thank you all for coming to my aid. I think I was having a meltdown, and I imagine that this won't be my last. BABY STEPS. That's what I'm living on. Baby steps. You know I was thinking about how unfair it is. I'm lucky to have found Freedom's website. But really, how much help is there for addicts like me?? I've even almost resorted to going to one of those, "stop smoking spas?" Don't ask. I figured if I could get locked up like a looney that I was, then I wouldn't be able to smoke for a week or so. Then I'd be miraculously "CURED". . But now I realize that it's not up to anyone else but me to maintain my quit. I think I would have just wasted alot of money for nothing.

I'm not sure of who I am anymore. Alot like people who quit I imagine. I' ve been smoking for 20 years now. Since I was twelve years old. I don't remember how to do anything without smoking. I really don't. Everything for me is new and often irritating. I believe I can do this though. Or else I wouldn't have stuck it out this long. I still get scared, and I have to go on "faith". I have to believe that for me too, there will be comfort. For a die-hard smoker like me, there will be a day, when I won't think about smoking. I just have to believe. Thank you for your support, and I hope to return in your times of need.

Tigerlily
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

22 Jan 2004, 22:02 #10

Hello Tigerlily:

I just kicked up the post Being locked up to quit smoking. It covers the issue that you have brought up here.

Tigerlily has basically come back into this post twice now and said the crisis has passed. Due to the title of this post, I need help..., I am going to invoke the rule discussed in Bringing negative posts to the top after the crisis has passed.

Being that Tigerlily has responded back that she is okay now we do not want anyone else responding to this post. Again, see the post Bringing negative posts to the top after the crisis has passed for details as to why. If this post is responded to again the entire thread will be pulled. This is the first and final warning. If anyone has some reason to want to keep all the replies we suggest they copy and paste it into their own word processor now. From past experience we have seen this warning go unheeded causing the deletion of the string. Such an act can cause permanent loss of posting privileges.

Do not post to this string.
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