I made it

sashi
sashi

April 5th, 2009, 2:41 am #1

I finally made it through my first 72 hours. There were times when I thought I was going crazy. I ended up taking a day off work the second day because the first day was so brutal. But now I am into my fourth day and am feeling more normal. I quit successfully over 20 years ago, but deceived myself into thinking I could have a cigarette about three years ago and up until a little over three days ago, I was addicted again. I know that I can never smoke again. I hope that I can go back into work on Monday and not bite anyone's head off. I know it is the addiction in control. Now it's my turn to be in control.
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chasnfireflies
chasnfireflies

April 5th, 2009, 2:49 am #2

Welcome to ffn Sashi! I made the same mistake as you did. Without understanding the grip nicotine addiction had on me, I made the mistake of throwing away a four year quit thinking I could be one of those people who could smoke occasionally and put it back down again. WRONG! Neither of us will ever make THAT mistake again, will we? Now we have educated ourselves and we know that to maintain our freedom, we must never take another puff. :) Keep up the great work. The irritability won't last forever. Just keep reminding yourself of that. Congrats! Kerry~ enjoying better health, and nicer smelling hair&clothes for 1 month,3 weeks and 3 days.
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BJC
BJC

April 5th, 2009, 6:30 am #3

Sashi, welcome to freedom! When you go into work on Monday: Be proud!!! You learned the hard way, that you can never take another puff. You're at the right place to remain quit. You've really got it going on. Hang in there.
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debgame
debgame

April 5th, 2009, 12:25 pm #4

Hi Sashi, Welcome to Freedom. You should be proud of your success. I am. We're at the right place to find support and education to never take another puff!
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Doc24747
Doc24747

April 5th, 2009, 1:50 pm #5

Hi Sashi
Welcome. You have found the right place to assist you in your quit.
It is not as scary as we thought.
Stick with it.

Doc
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bevils
bevils

April 5th, 2009, 3:18 pm #6

Hey welcome to freedom,

Its nice that you added to your post about your previous quit, because it just adds to the realisation that we truly can NTAP...... I know i never will, good look with this your last ever quit... Bev



Three months, four days, 12 hours, 18 minutes and 38 seconds. 2835 cigarettes not smoked, saving £354.27. Life saved: 1 week, 2 days, 20 hours, 15 minutes.
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grandmaroux
grandmaroux

April 5th, 2009, 3:43 pm #7

Welcome, keep up the good work by vowing to ..never take another puff. Everyday is a milestone!! Enjoy your freedom.
Doris
Free now for 1 month 2 weeks 4 days, 22 minuste and 32 seconds. not having smoked 735 fixes, saving $353.00 and most important 2 days 13 hours and 15 minutes of my life!!
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sashi
sashi

April 5th, 2009, 4:34 pm #8

Thanks to all for your support and comments. I am deep into my fourth day and feeling like I am really bad company to my poor partner. I hope that I can get a little more control over my emotions soon. I am dreading going back to work tomorrow. I'll be trying to bite my tongue all day, I'm sure. Any advice on this? I don't really feel like I want a cigarette, just want to feel more in control. I know it will get better, but it's difficult right now. And I know the nicotine is to blame.
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chasnfireflies
chasnfireflies

April 5th, 2009, 8:00 pm #9

HI sashi.
I am not sure if this will help you or not but when I am having a tough time coping, I put on my mp3 player and listen to some music that tends to to distract my mind. I know that may not help at work but it's something to consider when you're at home.
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sashi
sashi

April 6th, 2009, 12:19 am #10

I do use music to help me get through, both at home and at work. Excellent suggestion. I am going to try to keep a low profile at work tomorrow, but sometimes I have to interact with actual people too.

I am getting better every day though! Just have to keep plugging. I am looking forward to being my normal sparkly self. Thanks!
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RobinS614
RobinS614

April 6th, 2009, 5:40 am #11

"I am dreading going back to work tomorrow"

From the thread Avoiding triggers

Many years ago I had a man named Mark (not his real name) join one of my smoking clinics. Mark came to me on the first day of the clinic and told me how he had recently added an addition on to his house and one of the rooms he added was a home office. Mark lived in a suburb about 20 miles from his office in downtown Chicago. Mark had the luxury that he didn't really need to go to his downtown office much and could do most of his work from home. He was nervous though because his home office was more than just his office--it was also his smoking sanctuary. Mark had small kids who were allergic to smoke and his wife didn't want Mark smoking around the kids. Since the kids were never allowed in the office anyway, Mark agreed only to smoke in that one room of the house. The office had in essence become his smoking room. He had only had the home office a short period of time now but the relationship seemed deeply ingrained.


When Mark was telling me about the new home office smoking room he confided in me that he was really scared to go into the room for he was sure it would be too powerful of a trigger and cause him to smoke. I told him he should go into the room quickly to overcome the fear but he said he just wanted to give it a few days before he attempted it. I figured I would let it go, thinking it would actually be good for Mark to get the additional experiences of driving to the city and working with other people proving to himself that he could deal with the outside world and still maintain his quit.

Mark never brought up the home office smoking room again during the clinic and I had basically forgotten about it too. Mark completed the clinic and sounded great at graduation. I figured he was on his way to a complete smoke free life.

A couple of months after the clinic was over I was following up Mark's group on a Saturday morning. Actually I had talked to him numerous times over the two month period but this conversation took an interesting twist. While on the phone Mark had said something about his office downtown and for the first time since I met Mark I remembered his concerns about his home office. I asked him if he was still going downtown much or mostly working out of his home office now. All of a sudden there was an awkward silence on the phone. Mark kind of hemmed and hawed for a while and said, "Well, this is kind of embarrassing to admit be I actually haven't gone into the home office yet."

I quickly said, "Mark, are you telling me that you have been driving 20 miles to and from work every day for two months because you are afraid that if you go into your home office you are going to smoke." He said yes, but it was worth it. He loved not smoking. Not smoking was great. So while driving 40 miles a day was a tad inconvenient, it was worth the effort since it was helping him to save his life.

I agreed it would be worth driving 40 miles every day if it were necessary in order to sustain a quit and thus saving his health and his life. The problem was that it was not necessary--Mark could work in his home office and just not smoke. To that Mark replied that the association was just too strong and his quit was just to valuable.

I asked Mark if he had a phone in the room in question to which he replied, "Of course I have a phone, it's my office." I said, "Mark, I want you to go into that room and call me back at this number." Now it took some real effort for me to persuade Mark to go into the room and to call me back. He was scared for he was totally convinced that being in that room was going to undercut his quit but Mark eventually goes into his office and places the call.

So I start a conversation of small talk with Mark, making a point of checking the clock at the beginning of the call. I knew some of Mark's family members and friends, and I started asking him questions about these people and making a real concerted effort of never broaching the topic of smoking once. Now I know most of you reader here have only gotten to know me from my writings and have never seen me live and talking but I can assure you that if you talk to any of my family members or friends, or especially to my clinic graduates, they will all attest that I can talk for hours on end even though I have nothing really important to say. I purposely engaged Mark into a half hour conversation consisting of absolutely nothing important--just small talk.

A half an hour into the conversation of small talk I abruptly blurted out, "Hey Mark, you have been in your home office now for 30 minutes. Have you thought about a cigarette once." Mark started laughing. He realized what I had done, getting him into the room and talking his ear off just to show him that he could be in the room and on the phone and not need to smoke. I think Mark instantly realized that his fears were unfounded.

I saw Mark last year, for the first time in probably fifteen or twenty years. He had now been smoke free for over a quarter of a century. We didn't really talk about smoking issues much either. It was no longer an issue in Mark's life. I just did my obligatory warning about never getting overly complacent, pointing out to him that over the past four years I had two people who were once 35 year ex-smokers who lost their quits. He was still well aware of what we taught in the clinic and was still totally committed to never take another puff.

As most people who read here have probably noticed, they have started saving lots of money since they have quit smoking. I suspect Mark had also saved a small fortune. This may not have been the case if we had not had our little conversation that Saturday morning. For if we had not talked that day Mark may have been driving an extra 200 miles a week, plus paying for parking for a quarter of a century. I don't even want to try to do the math of what these additional expenses would have cost. The fact is that they would have been totally unnecessary. When a person goes 25 years smoke free he proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that everything he was able to do as a smoker he can now do as an ex-smoker. This is a crucial lesson for all to learn.

Putting off facing certain activities triggers will likely prolong the stress, anxieties and fears that you will not be able to overcome the specific situation without relapse. All people who quit must realize that all you did as a smoker you can do as an ex-smoker too. All it takes is proving it to yourself one situation at a time. You can continue to live your life and get through all events with your quit intact as long as you always remember to stick with your personal commitment to never take another puff!

Joel
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karebear509
karebear509

April 6th, 2009, 3:22 pm #12

Hi Sashi, Glad you are joining us here. The irritability gets much better after a little bit, just take a couple deep breaths and move on. Smoking never really helped us deal with that anyway, we just thought it did. Actually now I think I have much more patience than I had as a smoker,because you deal with it instead of running to smoke! Good luck to you, keep on going, it is so worth it. Karen - Free and Healing for Two Months, Twenty Eight Days, 12 Hours and 20 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 6 Days and 1 Hour, by avoiding the use of 1750 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $439.15.
Last edited by karebear509 on April 6th, 2009, 3:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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