" I'm different, I'll never be comfortable without nicotine "

SueB911
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:06

16 Oct 2004, 12:51 #31

Just wanted to bring this very encouraging post to the top tonight. Have a great nicotine-free weekend, all.
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ShellyBGold
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:42

20 Oct 2004, 00:54 #32

So very timely! Thanks for bring this up, Sue.
I am a newbie (only 6 and a half days into my quit.) I'm excited about it. Proud of it. Enthusiastic about it. Never letting myself forget that this is an "Active" quit. The NTAP is so simple- but the crazy emotions and thoughts that I can't even believe are making their way into my head--- not-quite-as-simple!
I keep telling my sister (we quit at the same time) what I hear from you all- just that it will get easier.
She's getting nervous about the "cues"... "That's when we have our best conversations- is over smokes & after dinner drinks. What are we going to do?" And I tell her that we'll just find other cues! When the coffee comes- or when the server removes the dinner plates- we just have to change our M.O. It's great to have a team. I appreciate you guys (and girls) and I know my sister does, too! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

~ Shell
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Parker GOLD
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

11 Nov 2004, 08:36 #33

Jeanne wrote the following to someone who posted wondering when they would be comfortable. It is a question that is frequently asked. I wanted to capture Jeanne's reply here as it was so well crafted.

ImageParker - 29 months
From: ImageImageJeanne-Gold Sent: 11/10/2004 1:54 PM
I'll be happy to tell you when my deep sense of inner quiet and calmness was achieved, but first you have to ask yourself why you want to know.

Do you want to poll everyone and find out the exact minute that relief was achieved so that you can measure your own quit against other people's numbers? Maybe, just maybe, you'll discover that everyone at Freedom reached complete and total comfort long before we were at the point you are at now. Wouldn't that be wonderful? That would prove that we were wrong about you. You truly ARE different. You truly NEVER will be comfortable. You must not have the ability to quit forever like we do. If that's the case, then you might as well give up and go back to smoking as soon as possible. In case you don't recognize it, that is just a bunch of junkie thinking. Anything you tell yourself to make relapsing sound appealing is junk!

When you reach your comfort zone is an entirely individual thing, like when you were able to walk and talk, like when you reached puberty. Can you imagine asking other people to estimate when you would reach puberty. You would get a wide range of answers indeed, and you would not be any closer to knowing when you would get there.

Try not to look at reaching your comfort zone as a sprint with a finish line that you can see. It is more akin to watching a flower grow. As soon as you stop watching for the result and get busy doing something else, you turn around and realize that it sure has grown a lot. This is something you won't see before you get there. Only looking backwards will you notice how far you've come.

I'm sorry that I cannot tell you when your comfort zone will be reached, but I can very accuately predict how you will feel the day that you relapse because you let yourself think you'd never be completely and totally comfortable. You will feel like a miserable failure and then you'll be back to experiencing the nicotine slavery once again, just like you remember from your old smoking days. You'll be regretting giving up the "edgy and drifty" for the hopelessness that accompanies slow motion suicide. You're way too educated to ever enjoy smoking again, so if you relapse, you'll hate yourself on a daily basis for knowing you had the game won, but you forfeited it all.

Here's a thought that I remember entertaining back in my "edgy and drifty" days: What if I concede that I'm truly different, that I cannot stop forever because I'm not reaching comfort like everyone else. What if I go back to smoking today, and tomorrow was going to be the day that comfort arrived?

~Jeanne
2 years, 4 weeks and totally in love with my quit!

I promised I would tell you when my comfort arrived, so I'll kick up the Success Stories thread. Look through it and find my story. Read my old posts. It's all there in black and white, and green, and bronze, and silver, and gold. Image
 
Last edited by Parker GOLD on 30 Mar 2010, 19:05, edited 1 time in total.
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LEHarris52
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

13 Nov 2004, 09:38 #34

In case I've replied to this thread before, forgive me for being redundant, but it's worth repeating:

If I can quit after 30 years of addiction~~~anyone can!!
I never expected to be comfortable without nicotine~~~but I am!!
Has my quality of life improved since quitting~~~you bet!!

I'm so happy that I'm a QUITTER!!! It is worth every single second I spent in withdrawal. EVERY SECOND!!!
 
Laura in KY
I have chosen not to smoke for 8m, 3w, 1 hours and 50 minutes which has saved $792.30. I have refused to poison my body with 10,564 cigarettes and added 1 month, 6 days, 16 hours, 20 minutes to my life.
Last edited by LEHarris52 on 30 Mar 2010, 19:05, edited 1 time in total.
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John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

20 Apr 2005, 22:25 #36

Joel's Reinforcement Library

Image



"Maybe I am Different?"



Maybe I am different? Maybe I can take a cigarette and not get hooked? Maybe the cigarette will make me so sick I will never want to take a cigarette again? Maybe I was never addicted anyway? Maybe I will just smoke for a little while and quit again when things are better? Maybe, maybe, maybe . . .?

Do you ever find that you are asking yourself these questions? If so, and the suspense of the answer is just killing you, I thought I would suggest two ways of finally putting these unresolved questions to rest. First, take a cigarette. This is a really effective way of realizing the potential for relapse by reinforcement of the nicotine addiction. And the cost for this valuable lesson is simply returning to the deadly, expensive, socially unacceptable habit and addiction to cigarettes. You can then either smoke until it cripples and kills you, or "just" quit again. Remember the last time? Smoke or quit, fun choice isn't it?

Of course there is another way of answering those perplexing questions of "maybe". Find a smoker who once quit smoking for a substantial period of time, say one year or longer, and then relapsed. Ask him how he liked not smoking. Ask him how he now likes smoking. Then ask the most important question, how did he return to smoking?

Let me venture a guess as to the answers to these three questions. "Not smoking was great. I hardly thought of cigarettes any more. I felt healthier, happier, even calmer. Cigarettes smelled repulsive. The thought of smoking at my old level was disgusting." To the second question, how do you now like smoking, the response will typically be, "I hate it, I smoke as much or even more than I did before. I feel more nervous, don't have as much energy, and generally feel like a fool when smoking in public. I sure wish I could quit again." The answer to the third and most important question of how did he return to smoking is almost always the same, "I took a cigarette."

It may have happened under stress, at a party, or at home alone with nothing special going on. Whatever the cause, the end result was the same--addiction to nicotine. Prior to taking the cigarette, he probably asked himself the same questions of "maybe". He found his answer. Your answer is the same. Learn from others' mistakes and not your own. Your smoking friend is stuck in the grips of a powerful and deadly addiction. Maybe he will get the chance and strength again to quit smoking, maybe he will smoke until it kills him.

You have successfully broken free of the nicotine addiction. While your smoking may have been a potential threat to your life in the past, now your risks are dropping down to that of a person who never smoked. As long as you stay off of cigarettes, you never will have to worry about the physical, psychological, social and economical risks of smoking again as long as you follow one simple practice...NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!


Joel
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GoldenDivamom1972
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

08 Jun 2005, 01:35 #37

There was a time when I was sure the "quit chatter" would never end. I really thought quitting would be a lifelong obsession.

Now, at just a little over five months, quitting is no longer an obsession. Neither is staying quit. The fact that I don't smoke has become a very ordinary part of my life. When did this moment happen? I can't tell you because I don't know. It just snuck up on me one day when I was busy living my life.

As I've heard so many times, "Don't give up just before the miracle happens!". The miracle being comfort, and yes, it will happen to you, too. Just be patient and work it one day at a time.

Blessings,
Amy--Bronze+Double Green
155 days
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JoeJFree Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

30 Aug 2005, 10:05 #38

"Don't minimize for a second the great work you are doing, some folks could only dream of beginning this journey. So many smokers want to quit but can't quite find their way, very sad indeed. Just hold on tight because for each of us, the days of complete comfort do come. Thanks for being here with us, we look forward to making this wonderful journey with each of you. If you have any concerns or questions, feel free to get in touch with us. We must hold on tight..our lives are worth any temporary challenges, we deserve to be free from a killer addiction...the way we were meant to be!" - Thanks Joanne!





& Thanks to John for this favorite line - All I can say now is that the lies were the bars that kept me a prisoner inside my own mind. It isn't necessary that you believe any of us but I do think you've earned the right to see for yourself what it's really like being free! As Papa Jim used to say, if you give it 90 days and you're not totally satisfied with the new you, we'll gladly give you a 100% refund of your misery!

Thanks also to all the great Quitters who left messages for those of us further back along this Trail of Freedom to use as guides to follow.

Use the page navigation buttons to read all the replies, you'll be glad you did!



Just Be - No-Nicotine Normal - Free,

Meaning that we TRULY UNDERSTAND that we NEVER need to TAKE ANOTHER PUFF. And so we simply choose not to, no matter what.


JoeJFree - Free and Healing for Seven Months, Nineteen Days, 11 Hours and 45 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 20 Days and 2 Hours, by avoiding the use of 5787 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $1,159.77.
Last edited by JoeJFree Gold on 26 Sep 2012, 16:30, edited 2 times in total.
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ElevenPinkFlowers
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

05 Dec 2005, 18:41 #39

For LibbyImage

Please make sure you hit the ImageFirst button!

PinkFlowers
* 2 March 2005
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KatieDidIt1999
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

13 Mar 2006, 00:06 #40

Image For Melissa....remember to hit the First button.
Kat
Free for 2 Months, 1 Week, 2 Days and 47 minutes (68 days). $316.34 saved, 2,040 cigarettes not smoked. I have not stood freezing or frying in the elements for 1 Week and 2 hours of my life. Quit date: 1/3/2006 7:30 AM
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