" I'm different, I'll never be comfortable without nicotine "

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

July 31st, 2002, 11:47 am #11

Joanne,

Well said. Thanks for you thoughts. They left me with many of my own thoughts to reflect upon.

Roger

7 Months
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Joined: January 7th, 2009, 7:06 pm

July 31st, 2002, 12:11 pm #12

Joanne,
I can't believe you and Marty posting identical themes today...it was like you were reading my mind (see my post on Marty's). I really thought it would be getting easier but it's getting harder...this scares me a little. I guess it doesn't matter because I know what I need and have to do...but thanks for reminding me that the future will be better.
TJ
I have chosen not to smoke for 3 Weeks 1 Day 20 Hours 2 Minutes 57 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 913. Money saved: $159.85.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

July 31st, 2002, 1:16 pm #13

Hi T John, I was just processing some of Freedom's new applications (hey, where are all these new guys coming from?) and took one last look at the board before bed when I discovered your post, thanks for the input. I hear ya loud and clear with the uncertainty of it all. During my early days I remember really zeroing in on the ONE DAY AT A TIME concept.
Just get through the moment and don't worry about the next one until it comes. It really is the key here. Joel tells us, for some, we are led to think it gets harder as more time goes by. What may be really going on here - those first few days every minute is a constant thought about quitting...no matter what we seem to do, we are reminded that we no longer are reaching for nicotine. Then, it really doesn't take long to get used to the fact that we no longer need a fix, our body is not in a constant roller coaster of withdrawal. As we gain this comfort and a situation does occur, a trigger to smoke, it about startles us since every moment is no longer focused on smoking. Boy, did I just confuse you or what. lol I'll attach Joel's article* he explains this much better than I can.

We can tell you in thousands of posts that things get better but you will see for yourself, soon enough, everything falls into place. As I said in my post, I thought myself to be different and didn't truly believe things would be back to normal. Normal? Heck, some of us had been smoking for so long we had no recollection as to what it felt like not to be controlled by a drug.


Hold on tight T John, focus on your reasons for quitting, look upon each day as a true victory for not taking that first one. As our other John says...it's doable!

Anyway, it is getting late here but I wanted you to know that we are listening and understanding your present concerns. Great work, and congratulations for taking your life back! What a wonderful gift you have given to yourself, hold it close.


A big thanks to everyone else who responded, I appreciate your support and valued input.



Never take another puff...

Your friend - Joanne



*
Thoughts that seem worse than the first days urges



You said it would get better but it's just as bad!



Smoking triggers



Why am I still having "urges?"


Emotional loss experienced when quitting


Last edited by Joanne Gold on March 30th, 2010, 6:50 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:00 am

July 31st, 2002, 10:36 pm #14

Please read this Lance, every single word is very true to all of us, and thanks Joanne for a lovely post. and here I was thinking it had been me who was different from the rest and needed nicotene more than anyone else, seems I was wrong then yet again I find out that none of the feelings we go through are unique.
Love Naymor xxxx
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

October 13th, 2002, 5:05 pm #15

Every nicotine addict has asked it....
"Now that I have learned so much about my addiction and understand that I should never take another puff....how long will it take to feel comfortable where I am not constantly thinking about smoking?"
Moving through the twists and turns of daily life are the stepping stones to comfort and freedom.
Experience is the essence!
Last edited by Joanne Gold on March 30th, 2010, 6:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

October 24th, 2002, 2:43 pm #16

For those of you out there struggling a bit, I hope this helps.
Hang in there!
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Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:00 am

December 15th, 2002, 8:42 pm #17

(((JoAnne)))

I've been caught lurking! Even us old timers come around once in a while for a good dose of re-inforcement. Once an addict, always an addict:)

I began smoking at 9. It took me 35 years to find Freedom. I am truly one of those people of whom you speak. I truly did not know what "normal" was. I did not remember a time in my life ever that I wasn't looking for a smoke. Was I scared? You bet I was! Like John says, my addiction was supported by years and years of my own self-denial! Deep down inside I really didn't know if I even wanted to live without them! Or if I even could! If cigarettes were killing me then what the heck. Live by the sword, die by the sword. Yes, I really have said that.

Knowledge is what gives us the power to walk through all our fears. We learn that it is the substance that keeps us in bondage. Only by clearing it from our systems do we really have the freedom to choose. For those of you struggling remember that you have the secret weapon...the truth. When you feel scared or weak, remind yourself of what you know. Come back here and re-inforce it. Every day you are dis-abling triggers. Every day you are learning to live without a smoke. There is a wonderful day just ahead for you. It is the day you wake up, look in the mirror and see that brand new wonderful self, the one that doesn't need or want nicotine anymore.

Big hugs, Joy


~Two years, six months, one week, four days, 10 hours, 41 minutes and 44 seconds. 18488 cigarettes not smoked, saving $2,958.36. Life saved: 9 weeks, 1 day, 4 hours, 40 minutes~
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

January 21st, 2003, 4:15 am #18

You know, Tess and I were talking last night about a friend who's approaching a month nic-free. Last year, when the 2 of us quit, our friend was pretty certain that she had no desire to quit, and no confidence that she ever could.

Tess and I agreed that an important component of both her eventual decision to quit, and of maintaining her resolve over the rough patches during her first few weeks, was the assurance from others who had walked the path, that life IS comfortable for ex-smokers.... in fact, more comfortable than it was as a smoker (not having to deal with chronic withdrawal and all). In addition to Tess and me, 3 other common friends have quits going of 5 months or more. Our friend has been able to see several friends go through the trials of withdrawal and adjustment, and come out on the other side, finding themselves leading more comfortable lives than before.

At somewhere between 2 and 3 weeks, I was finding it pretty rough. My junky mind was in overdrive, and the assurances of those who'd walked before me were sounding like distant voices. At some point, though, I decided to take it on faith...... I am no different than the others here with respect to the comfort that awaits me after quitting. I decided it was worth at least another couple weeks of doing the same to find out. I'd come that far.... let's see if I'm different or not. I'll never know if I just go back to smoking now.

Guess what.... they were right. Within a couple weeks, I was feeling REAL comfort. The kind they'd told me about. There were still challenges, but they were getting easier. And it just kept getting better.

When you're in the depths of it, at some point, you've got to look at your situation and say, I've come this far, let's see if they're telling me the truth, or quit trying and never know.

You're not different. It gets better. I promise.

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

April 1st, 2003, 1:23 pm #19

....how long will it take to feel comfortable where I am not constantly thinking about smoking?
Moving through the twists and turns of daily life are the stepping stones to comfort and freedom.
Experience is the essence!
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

May 6th, 2003, 10:15 am #20

For Lynda (comfort is yours, if you'll allow it to be)...

Last edited by OBob Gold on March 30th, 2010, 7:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

May 20th, 2003, 8:03 am #21

OBob wrote:

At some point, though, I decided to take it on faith...... I am no different than the others here with respect to the comfort that awaits me after quitting. I decided it was worth at least another couple weeks of doing the same to find out. I'd come that far.... let's see if I'm different or not. I'll never know if I just go back to smoking now.
Guess what.... they were right. Within a couple weeks, I was feeling REAL comfort. The kind they'd told me about. There were still challenges, but they were getting easier. And it just kept getting better.

And he was right!

Melissa
23 months
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

June 26th, 2003, 10:46 pm #22

Due to our own prior quitting history or horror stories from  others, we may start this temporary journey of adjustment with a humble or even frightened sense of confidence but before long a warm smile floods our mind and face as we truly begin to believe, with every fiber of your being, that this quit is different. This is it! Freedom's dream is unfolding before our eyes!

If every smoker on earth could magically spend just one day again feeling that almost constant sense of calmness that resided inside their mind immediately before climbing aboard that endless nicotine/dopamine roller coaster ride of highs and lows, they'd seize that day as motivation for the journey home to "them." There's no pot of gold at the end of the quit rainbow. Instead, what you'll find, all the gold in the world cannot buy. What awaits you is "you," fully engaging every aspect of life without the need to feed nicotine's two-hour chemical half-life.

Forget a momen about improved breathing, smoking related health concerns, living a full life, the pile of money your save, your loved ones, and all the social pressures, what about starting home - just one hour and challenge at a time - as your loving gift of "you" to "you!" Anything the chemically captive you can do, the free and real you can do even better!

Patience, baby steps, the next few minutes will always be doable and no subconsciously triggered crave episode will last longer than three minutes. Be sure and look at a clock as time distortion during early cessation is very real! Also, remember to put a small amounts of fuel into your tummy every few hours as nicotine will no longer be feeding you by pumping stored fats and sugars into your bloodstream via adrenaline releases. We don't need to add wild avoidable blood-sugar swing symptoms to our journey!
Breathe deep, hug hard, live long! John - The Gold Club
Last edited by John (Gold) on March 30th, 2010, 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

July 30th, 2003, 9:49 am #23

Is there any challenge out there that's bigger than your dreams?
or
Will the next few minutes always be doable?
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

September 11th, 2003, 9:08 pm #24

We Are "Real" Drug Addicts

If you removed all nicotine from your brand of cigarettes how long do you think you would have continued smoking them? According to R.J. Reynolds Tobacco Company the tobacco industry has known that nicotine was the sine qua non of smoking for over thirty years. How long have you had to come to terms with this critical realization?

It will be very difficult to not become comfortable without nicotine if you'll only use the next few weeks to be honest with you. We each walked through life insulated by a thick blanket of dependency, cost and recovery denial that protected us  from truth.

Our inital youthful decision to like or not like the dopmaine spike sensed within 8 to 10 seconds of that first puff of nicotine (that aaahhh sensation) became meaningless once we became chemically hooked. What was our only alternative? Look around at Freedom. This forum reflects the only alternative any of us had - withdrawal and recovery to the "real" us!

Being truthful about the entire spectrum of a nicotine addict's feeding cycle should help allow you to find you again. Yes, there was a dopamine spike but the bottom spike the anxiety, inner turmoil and sense of depression of going far beyond the real you and a crashing type low below. Yes, there was a dopamine spike but the other end of the spike can be easily seen here at Freedom (Help Me - SOS).

But Freedom isn't about artifical chemical highs and lows but about you developing the honesty, insight, recovery philosophy, and basic patience needed to give yourself an opportunity to meet "you" again.

Drug addiction isn't about getting high but about feeling normal. Somewhere between the dopamine high and the anxiety/depressive low resides the "real" you. It's a comfortable place where the sad moments of life are lived and not escaped from by nicotine providing a sudden burst of dopamine. On the other end, home is also a place where the joyous moments in life are not being constantly interrupted by the anxieties associated with badly needing another fix.

This place isn't about quitting you but recovering you! Each and every crave episode that's moved beyond is a true sign restoring the real you. Each and every smoking related thought is a golden opportunity to cast it in honest light and set the record straight. There is no such thing as one (addiction denial), smoking nicotine is self-destructive (cost denial), and you are no different than us and you can again be comfortable as you (recovery deinal).

For most of us this is the most amazing journey in healing that we've ever embarked upon. These are speical days, a time to proud of you. Forget about tomorrow, the next few minutes are all that really matter and there's only one rule - no nicotine today, Never Take Another Puff! John
Last edited by John (Gold) on March 30th, 2010, 6:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

December 4th, 2003, 12:57 pm #25

"For everyone recovering, thoughts of smoking will simply become a form of relief and nothing scary or bothersome. It is sort of like remembering something we did in our youth that wasn't too smart, we shook our heads and wondered what in the world we were thinking.When it comes to making vital decisions in life, it is amazing what a bit of growth and understanding will do for any situation."
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Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:02 am

March 19th, 2004, 3:02 am #26

For Erica ...we've all been there. Hang on tight!

YQS~Lotus

Proud and COMFORTABLE member of Freedom's GOLD club!!!
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Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:08 am

March 20th, 2004, 5:03 am #27

Well,

it's been almost 20 months of not a puff. I can so relate to everything Joanne said here so long ago. I am walking. I haven't lost my balance in a long time! I get excited on a daily basis about my Freedom. I am so grateful that I learned from the "oldbies" here, when I was a mere "newbie". What a journey. I still visit here on a daily basis and am reminded of my early struggles. Yes, I do remember. And just like they all said - it got easier. It got better, and better, and continues to get better. I always told myself and everyone else that I had responded to here, that this is a Journey. I knew it was at the time, but I never realized, until recently, that there seems to be no destination! I reached comfort a long time ago, or at least what I thought was comfort.

To all the "newbies" - Welcome to Freedom and Congratulations on making the very best decision of your lives! Keep up the great quits. Keep the Faith. Comfort is waiting - and that's a promise!

Never Take Another Puff for One Day At A Time, and look what can happen!

SandyBob
21+ months without a puff!
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Joined: January 7th, 2009, 7:03 pm

April 9th, 2004, 12:18 am #28

Wow, somehow I missed this one, great post.

Jane K

I have been quit for 4 Weeks, 1 Day, 13 hours, 19 minutes and 11 seconds (29 days). I have saved $110.82 by not smoking 443 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 12 hours and 55 minutes of my life.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

June 12th, 2004, 2:24 am #29

From: John (Gold) Sent: 7/30/2002 10:10 PM
If someone had come up to me during day three of any of my prior quits and told me that if I just hung in there - one day at a time - that it wouldn't be toooo long before I'd begin experiencing a deeper sense of inner calmness than I'd ever know while smoking, I would have thought them I liar! If they'd told me that it was far far easier being an recovered nicotine addict than making sure I was fully prepared for my next required nicotine feeding, I would have thought them a liar!

If they'd told me that I'd still be the exact same person, that I  keep my edge (or maybe better) and that all I'd be giving up was my chemical dependency, I would have thought them a liar. If they'd told me that it really wasn't too late to stop the damage and in many cases reverse it, and that unless the damage was permanent that within just 90 days I should expect an almost one-third increase in overall lung function, I would have thought them a liar.


All I can say now is that the lies were the bars that kept me a prisoner inside my own mind. It isn't necessary that you believe any of us but I do think you've earned the right to see for yourself what it's really like being free! As Papa Jim used to say, if you give it 90 days and you're not totally satisfied with the new you, we'll gladly give you a 100% refund of your misery! Thanks for the comfort thread Jo! John : )

Ditto.

Melissa
36 months
Last edited by Toast (GOLD ) on March 30th, 2010, 7:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

September 27th, 2004, 12:53 am #30

 We are all different and unique individuals. When it comes to nicotine addiction, we are all addicts. When it comes to quitting..........

Every quit is different


When it comes to comfort, it happens to all of us in its own time as long as we never take another puff.
Last edited by Roger (Gold) on March 30th, 2010, 7:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: January 7th, 2009, 7:06 pm

October 16th, 2004, 12:51 pm #31

Just wanted to bring this very encouraging post to the top tonight. Have a great nicotine-free weekend, all.
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Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:42 am

October 20th, 2004, 12:54 am #32

So very timely! Thanks for bring this up, Sue.
I am a newbie (only 6 and a half days into my quit.) I'm excited about it. Proud of it. Enthusiastic about it. Never letting myself forget that this is an "Active" quit. The NTAP is so simple- but the crazy emotions and thoughts that I can't even believe are making their way into my head--- not-quite-as-simple!
I keep telling my sister (we quit at the same time) what I hear from you all- just that it will get easier.
She's getting nervous about the "cues"... "That's when we have our best conversations- is over smokes & after dinner drinks. What are we going to do?" And I tell her that we'll just find other cues! When the coffee comes- or when the server removes the dinner plates- we just have to change our M.O. It's great to have a team. I appreciate you guys (and girls) and I know my sister does, too! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

~ Shell
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

November 11th, 2004, 8:36 am #33

Jeanne wrote the following to someone who posted wondering when they would be comfortable. It is a question that is frequently asked. I wanted to capture Jeanne's reply here as it was so well crafted.

Parker - 29 months
From: Jeanne-Gold Sent: 11/10/2004 1:54 PM
I'll be happy to tell you when my deep sense of inner quiet and calmness was achieved, but first you have to ask yourself why you want to know.

Do you want to poll everyone and find out the exact minute that relief was achieved so that you can measure your own quit against other people's numbers? Maybe, just maybe, you'll discover that everyone at Freedom reached complete and total comfort long before we were at the point you are at now. Wouldn't that be wonderful? That would prove that we were wrong about you. You truly ARE different. You truly NEVER will be comfortable. You must not have the ability to quit forever like we do. If that's the case, then you might as well give up and go back to smoking as soon as possible. In case you don't recognize it, that is just a bunch of junkie thinking. Anything you tell yourself to make relapsing sound appealing is junk!

When you reach your comfort zone is an entirely individual thing, like when you were able to walk and talk, like when you reached puberty. Can you imagine asking other people to estimate when you would reach puberty. You would get a wide range of answers indeed, and you would not be any closer to knowing when you would get there.

Try not to look at reaching your comfort zone as a sprint with a finish line that you can see. It is more akin to watching a flower grow. As soon as you stop watching for the result and get busy doing something else, you turn around and realize that it sure has grown a lot. This is something you won't see before you get there. Only looking backwards will you notice how far you've come.

I'm sorry that I cannot tell you when your comfort zone will be reached, but I can very accuately predict how you will feel the day that you relapse because you let yourself think you'd never be completely and totally comfortable. You will feel like a miserable failure and then you'll be back to experiencing the nicotine slavery once again, just like you remember from your old smoking days. You'll be regretting giving up the "edgy and drifty" for the hopelessness that accompanies slow motion suicide. You're way too educated to ever enjoy smoking again, so if you relapse, you'll hate yourself on a daily basis for knowing you had the game won, but you forfeited it all.

Here's a thought that I remember entertaining back in my "edgy and drifty" days: What if I concede that I'm truly different, that I cannot stop forever because I'm not reaching comfort like everyone else. What if I go back to smoking today, and tomorrow was going to be the day that comfort arrived?

~Jeanne
2 years, 4 weeks and totally in love with my quit!

I promised I would tell you when my comfort arrived, so I'll kick up the Success Stories thread. Look through it and find my story. Read my old posts. It's all there in black and white, and green, and bronze, and silver, and gold.
 
Last edited by Parker GOLD on March 30th, 2010, 7:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

November 13th, 2004, 9:38 am #34

In case I've replied to this thread before, forgive me for being redundant, but it's worth repeating:

If I can quit after 30 years of addiction~~~anyone can!!
I never expected to be comfortable without nicotine~~~but I am!!
Has my quality of life improved since quitting~~~you bet!!

I'm so happy that I'm a QUITTER!!! It is worth every single second I spent in withdrawal. EVERY SECOND!!!
 
Laura in KY
I have chosen not to smoke for 8m, 3w, 1 hours and 50 minutes which has saved $792.30. I have refused to poison my body with 10,564 cigarettes and added 1 month, 6 days, 16 hours, 20 minutes to my life.
Last edited by LEHarris52 on March 30th, 2010, 7:05 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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