I just turned green, so why am I blue?

The emotions that flow from nicotine cessation

I just turned green, so why am I blue?

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

15 Mar 2003, 04:45 #1

Dunno what is going on today. . .

Slowly but surely I am starting to be able to resume my old study habits, which used to be really intertwined with smoking. Life went on after my quit and I had to, as well, which explained why I was up most of the night last night writing a paper, and got up early this morning to finish it up before it was due. All was well, mission accomplished, and actually I really didn't even care about wanting to smoke the whole time. I still get cravings, you know, but by and large I just don't feel like a smoker anymore.

Do you know how weird that is? I think I spent a lot of last month subconsciously reveling in my craves, because they were an umbilical cord to my smoking life and an excuse to indulge in lots of positive self-talk and (a much worse idea) food. Now I am sort of waking up to the fact that I'm really not a smoker anymore, and pretty soon I'm just going to be a chubby little non-smoker.

I haven't been a chubby little non-smoker since I was 16 years old. I wasn't very happy then. I know this stuff all is very dangerous in terms of undermining quits. At the moment, however, I am rigid in my belief that I may be sad now, but if I had a cigarette I'd be positively suicidal. And the truth is, I don't even want a cigarette.

I've been tired all through one quiz, and one lengthy presentation that I had to give during one of my five classes today, and I never once thought, gee, smoking would really help me. But I did think, many, many times. . .how come I don't even want a cigarette right now? What's wrong with me? All of the triggers are in place. . .where's my crave?

Maybe I'm just tired. All of this should be making me happy, right? I don't miss cigarettes, but I miss my identity as a smoker. How sick is that?

I have chosen not to smoke for 1 Month 21 Hours 6 Minutes 48 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 462. Money saved: $115.52.

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

15 Mar 2003, 04:57 #2

Hi and I'm glad your here! Reward yourself and if your not craving be greatful.
heres something that I think goes along with what your expierancing "My cigarette, my friend"  Read it and then think about that loss. Your doing great keep up the great mind set and enjoy!
Ten months, one week, three days, 9 hours, 42 minutes and 5 seconds. 25152 cigarettes not smoked, saving $3,760.77. Life saved: 12 weeks, 3 days, 8 hours, 0 minutes.
Last edited by Rickgoldx5 on 09 Jun 2010, 14:32, edited 1 time in total.

SandyBob GOLD
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:08

15 Mar 2003, 05:05 #3

Hi Alex -

The feelings you describe are perfectly normal for where you are in your quit. You spent a long time smoking and it was part of who you were. I wish I knew how to do links, but I don't. The one I am thinking of is depression/or mourning the loss of your cigarette, your friend. There is a mourning process. Yes, it may sound sick - but those smokes where tied to absolutely everything you did in the past. It takes time to reprogram our sick addicted minds! Even though you are not taking smoking breaks while studying, are you remembering to take breaks? Be patient. Pamper yourself. Hang in there. I promise - comfort will come.

Your doing great! By the way - Congratulations on GREEN!


SandyBob GOLD
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:08

15 Mar 2003, 05:08 #4

Just the link I was thinking of!

Thanks Rick!

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

15 Mar 2003, 05:11 #5

Alex hello...

First off congrats for turning green. Your quit sounds like it's doing great. You're just bored it's Friday time to put the blue suede shoes on and go treat your self to a nite of fun. Maybe there will be some triggers out there just waiting for you to pounce on them so you can kick their butts. LOL

Have fun,

3w 3d 17:26 smoke-free, 738 cigs not smoked, $156.46 saved, 2d 13:30 life saved
Never take another puff... And I will not smoke today.

Dani Bronze
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:17

15 Mar 2003, 05:33 #6

Alex, Being still what I and I am sure many others would consider a newbie, I will leave the wordly advise up to the oldbies, but I did want to jump in here and offer some encouragment for you - the board is pretty quiet this afternoon.

I am really tired this afternoon myself, so I may not be as upbeat as I should be.

I do think I know what you are saying. I too find myslef wondering/missing smoking. Also I know I am not a smoker anymore. The stage I am in, is kind of weird. I think it is interesting to look at TUBES, he is just ahead of me and he seems to be so much more comfortable - I noticed a big difference when he turned green. Everyone is different, but it is interesting to see the different stages.

I wonder where is that ugly burning thing I am use to having hang out of my mouth is. It is weird, my son use to ask me questions about it and since I have quit he hasn't said anything. I didn't tell him I was quiting, I just stopped. It would be so wonderful, if he never remembered I smoked.

Check out:

Emotional loss experienced when quitting

Screams, laughter, fears and tears

Enjoy your greening - just in time for St. Patty's day ImageImage

Rember how good you are doing, remember how good you smell, look, feel, Have you spent your quit money on you yet? Shopping usually puts a smile on my face Image In fact, I may go spend that quit money again this weekend.


3 Weeks 6 Days 19 Hours 33 Minutes 5 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 611. Money saved: $107.09.
Last edited by Dani Bronze on 09 Jun 2010, 14:33, edited 1 time in total.

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:08

15 Mar 2003, 05:50 #7


Its not sickening at all. It might be quite common to go through these kind
of thoughts. I once even went to an extent that may be smoking helps me to
behave as a person who is nice. When i don't smoke i turn into a monster so
i must keep smoking!!!

I think you are overwhelmed with your studies and might be feeling tired
and/or it might be that feeling of emptiness which comes after finishing a
task to which you have give a lots of yourself.

3w of nic free life

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

15 Mar 2003, 07:36 #8

Congratulations on you
Hi Alex,
I'm still comming to your party I don't care if you are grumpy and you miss your IDENTITY as a smoker, how long have you been smoking as compared to how long you have been QUIT? ask yourself that question. Think about it. If you read back over your posts you talk about your Identity to smoking alot. Look back at all you have accomplished without the Identity of Nicotine. You have written numerious papers with in deadline you have been posting aand most of all you have accomplished GREENING IT. That sure dosen't sound like Smokers I.D. to me.
So lets Party and Celebrate have a good time Pat yourself on the back and STAND TALL.
I have chosen not to smoke for 3 Months 3 Weeks 6 Days 18 Hours 7 Minutes 31 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 5987. Money saved: $1,197.55.

richard This is It GOLD
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

15 Mar 2003, 08:56 #9

Hi Alex, I see people have brought up the classics; "My friend" and "Emotional"

Here's some more lesser-well-used ones from "the archives"

Today Is A Good Day (It's Just Too Much Trouble) 
Why am I still having "urges?"

(I couldn't find the "Friday's GLASS HALF FULL Parade  Parade" from 5-6 months back - but if you find it it's well worth a read)

Belated congratulations on GREEN...... you've worked hard..... no time to (totally) relax just yet....

Last edited by richard This is It GOLD on 09 Jun 2010, 14:39, edited 1 time in total.

So gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

15 Mar 2003, 10:22 #10

Hi Alex,
Not much more to say other than you're doing great. Most of us go through the same as you are now.
Hang in there, Alex. It's totally worth it. Trust me!

Think this is the link Richard mentioned
Friday's GLASS HALF FULL Parade 

4 months 3 weeks
Last edited by So gold on 09 Jun 2010, 14:39, edited 1 time in total.