I Can't Quit or I Won't Quit

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

08 Aug 2008, 19:50 #51

John recently posted this comment:

This has always been one of my favorites. Not only because of her courage at the end, but for my own horrible reasons. During my 30 years of bondage I didn't give much thought at all to the influence of my addiction upon my children, nieces and nephews, or upon the thousands of young people who must have seen me sucking down smoke in public. As a 17 year-old nicotine addict and senior class president I fought for and won the right to have a student smoking area at my high school. Inside those ropes, I recall seeing a number of students cough through those first puffs.

Insulated by the scores of use rationalization lies I lived and breathed, my mind was miles from reflecting upon the message and image my chemical dependency conveyed to young people. Now I find myself asking, if this truly is as addictive as heroin, what have I done? What have I done? How many young minds did I play a role in helping fool? I can't go back in time. I can't undo influence done. My only excuse is that I did so in ignorance. What I can do is, like this mother, try to set the record straight, to share the right lessons with the time that remains.

Just one rule ... none today!

Breathe deep, hug hard, live long,

John (Gold x9)
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Joel Spitzer
Joined: 13 Nov 2008, 14:04

29 Mar 2009, 15:52 #52

When I wrote out many of my clinic stories I had to abbreviate many of the details, to keep the letter sizes relatively small. They were originally written for letters I was mailing to people and we had to stick to one sheet of paper. Even in its shortened state we had to print on both sides.


This video format has no such limits. Below is a link to the entire story about this incident. It is 22 minutes and 15 seconds long.
Video Title Dial Up High Speed MP3 Length Created
"I can't quit or I won't quit" 6.33mb 28.6mb 10.15mb 22:15 10/16/06


I hope you find this story inspiring and that helps you to realize that no matter how impossible you once believed quitting was that now you know that you are fully capable to make and stick to a personal commitment to never take another puff.
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FreedomNicotine
Joined: 06 Dec 2008, 16:58

01 Jan 2010, 23:15 #53

When I wrote out many of my clinic stories I had to abbreviate many of the details, to keep the letter sizes relatively small. They were originally written for letters I was mailing to people and we had to stick to one sheet of paper. Even in its shortened state we had to print on both sides.


This video format has no such limits. Below is a link to the entire story about this incident. It is 22 minutes and 15 seconds long.
Video Title Dial Up High Speed MP3 Length Created
"I can't quit or I won't quit" 6.33mb 28.6mb 10.15mb 22:15 10/16/06


I hope you find this story inspiring and that helps you to realize that no matter how impossible you once believed quitting was that now you know that you are fully capable to make and stick to a personal commitment to never take another puff.
Reply

FreedomNicotine
Joined: 06 Dec 2008, 16:58

01 Jan 2010, 23:19 #54

This has always been one of my favorite articles. It is the only article that I have written that we use at Freedom that breaks one of our own rules and courtesies. I wrote it long before I was at Freedom and just felt that in honor and memory of the woman who inspired the letter I could not alter its original content. I felt in some way I had to be true to her memory.

The reason that the article is one of my favorites though is that it illustrates many important issues. It shows the life threatening impact of smoking, the fact that anyone can quit smoking, covers the topic of utilizing personal motivations in order to sustain a quit, and shows that it is never too late to gain major benefits by quitting, even if a person may be in an irreversible terminal state.

But there is another important story in the article that I have never commented on before but is very pertinent to our board. It is about the two woman in the clinic who were constantly gabbing with each other.

Every now and then when I am running live clinics I will notice that two or sometimes three class members end up having side conversations during the clinic. Sometimes I am covering a topic of great significance, or others clinic participants are sharing insights that are really very important. You can tell that when individuals are talking to each other that they are missing the concepts that are being shared by me or the other class members speaking in the time they are chatting. If the people are in the back of the room and very quiet it usually poses minimal problems for others, although at times it is obviously very distracting. There is no doubt though that the individuals involved are missing concepts that they would have benefited from hearing.

The two women in the story above missed a bulk of what went on in that clinic and I think that all who read the above story realized that they had missed a lot that particular session. They definitely were not getting the full value of what the clinic had to offer.

There are times where a similar situation occurs at Freedom. Where two or three new people start to get involved in ongoing dialogues, sometimes talking about smoking and other times expanding the conversations into other areas. This usually occurs between newer members who really haven't realized what the real value of our board is. Our board value is not being a support group where new quitters can socialize and learn all about other new quitters. It is an educational site in which people who are quitting smoking can learn valuable insights to treating nicotine addiction and to learn from longer-term successful quitters how life can go on after quitting.

In all honesty, almost any other Internet based support site on smoking cessation is better at meeting people and having more laid back and relaxing conversations. We are set up to always maintain an educational focus and in many ways, it takes more effort to actively engage in more meaningful and thought provoking posts that really help all who are reading here to secure their quits.

Many may think that the background chatter in a live clinic poses more of a problem than the same kind of socialization being done on the board. After all, being that the words are written if a person is chatting at one moment in one string, he or she can go back and see all that has happened in other string as time permits. The problem is the more new members see this kind of background chatter, the more likely they too are going to get involved in it and spend less time reading the great variety of informational posts we have at Freedom. We don't want people spending any more time at Freedom than necessary and we don't want people having to siphon through background clutter having a harder time finding quality information that really will help them to stay motivated to not smoke.

All new members should read the Buddy Systems post. and the string A Warning about quit journals. Both discuss the problems of buddying up with other members or how spending an inordinate amount of time plowing through journals of relatively recent quitters with dozens or hundreds of entries is not the best use of a new readers time or a good utilization of the resoures we actually have here at Freedom.

Again, the most valuable utilization of your time at Freedom is from learning all that you can about why you smoked, why you wanted to stop, how to stop and then--most important of all--how to stay off. The way to accomplish this is by reading and learning all you can from our articles and from the posts of our longer-term successful quitter that offer insights of people who for a significant amount of time now have proven that they can get through life's trials and tribulations with their quits intact from having finally having learned that to stay smoke free is as simple as sticking to a personal commitment to never take another puff!

Joel
Last edited by FreedomNicotine on 01 Jan 2010, 23:32, edited 1 time in total.
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Joel Spitzer
Joined: 13 Nov 2008, 14:04

13 May 2012, 14:01 #55

From above:
Since it was Mother's Day I thought this was a good one to bring up. 




Here was a commentary I attached to this string three years ago: 




There was some discussion in another string about whether or not a person can quit smoking because he or she is addicted. Addiction to nicotine explains why a person smokes the way he or she smokes. It does not on the other hand excuse a person from smoking. 




When a person says that he or she can't quit because he or she is addicted, he or she is wrong. All addiction means to a smoker is that he or she cannot smoke the way he or she wants to. He or she has to smoke in a way that alleviates withdrawal or suffer from the chronic withdrawal state induced from part-time or limited smoking. The woman in this story is a prime example. Was she addicted to nicotine for years and decades? You bet she was. Did she somehow become unaddicted* when she was diagnosed with lung cancer? No, she was as addicted as she always was. Was it impossible for her to quit because she was addicted? Of course not, she quit smoking so quitting was possible. So the only question is why did she smoke for so long if she was really always able to quit? 




The sad answer to that is that she never realized that she was able to quit until the cancer was diagnosed or she didn't feel that she had a good enough reason to quit until then. Sadly, whichever the reason was, using it ended up with her smoking until it was too late to save her life. Fortunately, it was not too late to save her loved ones lives and I hope her story has helped countless people over the past 25 years to save their lives too from her example. 




Addiction causes a person to smoke the way he or she smokes. Understanding the addiction gives a person the tools he or she needs to break free from smoking. For once the addiction is understood for what it is the person has the one piece of ammunition to take permanent control of smoking, which is simply understanding to break free and stay free from smoking is to stop delivering nicotine from any source and then to always remember to never take another puff! 




Joel 




* Look it up in the dictionary. There is no such word as "unaddicted." This is not by accident. I have a post up somewhere about this but can't lay my hands on it at the moment. Hopefully someone will bring it up or if not I will try to track it down later.
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