I Can't Quit or I Won't Quit

Em B 12106
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:06

06 Feb 2006, 20:16 #41

God bless you Joel... thank you for recommending this one - you were so right; I do so appreciate this message. Maybe moreso than any other? Certainly in my personal "Top Ten".

It is such a blessing to be able to prove to my children how wrong I was in saying that I couldn't quit and showing them that I can indeed. This is one time I can say without hesitation how glad I am that I was so very wrong.

Oh the lessons to be learned through this one are far reaching!
ImageImageImageQuit Dance">ImageImageImage

Mother of four,
Em
Image Two weeks, one day, 9 hours, 4 minutes and 33 seconds. 230 cigarettes not smoked, saving $48.90. Life saved: 19 hours, 10 minutes.Image
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

27 Feb 2006, 22:04 #42

Sometimes, even when it is too late for one thing, it is not too late for other things. Smoking likely ended up costing the mother in this story her life. Her quitting likely ended up saving her son's life. She quit in time to prove to her son and the rest of her family that a person even under the worst of conditions can make and stick to a commitment to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

06 Mar 2006, 22:24 #43

I think this example is an important article to highlight when people do enounter the death of loved ones who had previously quit smoking. I know many people seem to be motivated to quit when a smoker develops or dies of a smoking related illness. The stories of people who quit though and sustain their quits even if they do find out that they have a smoking related illness delivers an even more important message.

Most people know that smoking kills, but there are a lot of people who think that quitting or staying smoke free is difficult, and under times of personal tragedy, close to impossible. People who believe this are working under false impressions.

People who quit and stay free for the rest of their lives, even at the point in time where staying quit won't keep them alive are showing all that they still realize that quitting smoking was a great feat and one that they usually cherish till the end, especially if it helps others to make and stick to a personal commitment to never take another puff.

Joel
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

14 May 2006, 23:07 #44

Since it was Mother's Day I thought this was a good one to bring up.

Here was a commentary I attached to this string three years ago:

There was some discussion in another string about whether or not a person can quit smoking because he or she is addicted. Addiction to nicotine explains why a person smokes the way he or she smokes. It does not on the other hand excuse a person from smoking.

When a person says that he or she can't quit because he or she is addicted, he or she is wrong. All addiction means to a smoker is that he or she cannot smoke the way he or she wants to. He or she has to smoke in a way that alleviates withdrawal or suffer from the chronic withdrawal state induced from part-time or limited smoking. The woman in this story is a prime example. Was she addicted to nicotine for years and decades? You bet she was. Did she somehow become unaddicted* when she was diagnosed with lung cancer? No, she was as addicted as she always was. Was it impossible for her to quit because she was addicted? Of course not, she quit smoking so quitting was possible. So the only question is why did she smoke for so long if she was really always able to quit?

The sad answer to that is that she never realized that she was able to quit until the cancer was diagnosed or she didn't feel that she had a good enough reason to quit until then. Sadly, whichever the reason was, using it ended up with her smoking until it was too late to save her life. Fortunately, it was not too late to save her loved ones lives and I hope her story has helped countless people over the past 25 years to save their lives too from her example.

Addiction causes a person to smoke the way he or she smokes. Understanding the addiction gives a person the tools he or she needs to break free from smoking. For once the addiction is understood for what it is the person has the one piece of ammunition to take permanent control of smoking, which is simply understanding to break free and stay free from smoking is to stop delivering nicotine from any source and then to always remember to never take another puff!

Joel

* Look it up in the dictionary. There is no such word as "unaddicted." This is not by accident. I have a post up somewhere about this but can't lay my hands on it at the moment. Hopefully someone will bring it up or if not I will try to track it down later.
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JoeJFree Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

01 Sep 2006, 21:13 #45

restating my post Message 89

"they want to stop but they can't. I know where they learned that, and I am mad at myself for it. So I am stopping to show them I was wrong. It wasn't that I couldn't stop smoking- it was that I wouldn't! I know I will not have another cigarette. I don't know if this will make anybody stop, but I had to prove to my children and to myself that I could quit smoking. And if I could quit, they could quit, anybody could quit."
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

14 Oct 2006, 10:21 #46

I recorded an audio version of this story today--no video to keep the file size smaller and more managable for people with slower internet connections.

When I wrote out many of my clinic stories I had to abbreviate many of the details, to keep the letter sizes relatively small. They were originally written for letters I was mailing to people and we had to stick to one sheet of paper. Even in its shortened state we had to print on both sides.

This video format has no such limits. Below is a link to the entire story about this incident. It is a little over 19 minutes long.

http://www.whyquit.com/videos/icantorwontquit.wmv

I hope you find this story inspiring and that helps you to realize that no matter how impossible you once believed quitting was that now you know that you are fully capable to make and stick to a personal commitment to never take another puff.

Joel
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John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

21 Jan 2008, 08:04 #48



My sister and I quit smoking in March (my sister) and April (me) of 2006. We quit a 40 year 2 pack a day habit cold turkey and we both rejoiced in the freedom, but it was too late for my sister. At the relatively young age of 58, she passed away on August 11, 2007 from interstitial lung disease complicated by COPD and high blood pressure. All of these diseases are smoke related. Cigarettes killed her as surely as if a gun was put to her head. Here is the story I wrote for her after she was gone.
For My Sister Rosa Willis
November 27, 1948 August 11, 2007
Me and my sister: We were inseparable. We spoke to each other every day of our lives, she was my best friend, and we were always together in every thing we did in our life. She was 4 years my senior, but from the time I was old enough to follow, I was right there where ever she was and she always waited for me, because I was her "baby sister" her ONLY sister, and she never wanted to leave me behind and she never did. Every stage in our life, falling in love, dating, marriage, the birth of our children, the death of our parents, any event, large or small, sad or happy, we shared; But there is one thing that I fervently wished that we had never shared...our first cigarette. And we continued to share those cigarettes for 40 years.

My wonderful sister recently passed away at the comparatively young age of 58 and cigarettes killed her as surely as if a gun was put to her head and someone pulled the trigger. Her death certificate states that tobacco use was a major contributor to her death, along with pneumonia, pulmonary fibrosis, COPD and hypertension (all of these conditions can be linked to tobacco use).

"She was taken from me like a thief came in the night and stole her away...." (Loretta Lynn's father said this to her when she married at the age of 13. Quoted from the movie "Coal Miner's Daughter")

A year and a half ago, my sister was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis and COPD. At first, the doctors thought she had lung cancer, and she was told to quit smoking or she would be dead in 2 or 3 months. At first, she STILL continued smoking, but on my mother's birthday, she gained the courage and the strength to slay the addiction and lay her cigarettes down and she never looked back. She had the courage and the motivation and the desire to change her life and she did. One month later, because of her, I was able to do the same thing. My husband and I decided to live and laid the cigarettes down and kicked them out of our lives for good.

My sister's convictions and her courage inspired me. In spite of her declining health, and her growing knowledge that she was seriously ill and might not be around much longer, she continued to enjoy her life and her freedom from addiction and continued to try and be an inspiration to others and show them that life without the demon on your back is possible and is wonderful. Quitting such a horrible addiction is empowering and she tried to show that to everyone she came in contact with. She was a wonderful person and a writer of such excellence, that I am almost ashamed to be trying to write about her. Nothing I could say could sum up such a wonderful person. Her perseverance and determination, her beautiful poetry and her compassionate spirit will live on after her and I hope that our story will continue to help others and let them see that you can be free.



I love you Rosa and I miss you....see you on the other side

Your one and only Marcy
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John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

12 Apr 2008, 23:52 #49

04/12/08
4 years 7 months and 5 days ago I chose to stop smoking. (I still have my "quit counter" running on my computer which is now just a reminder!)
I gave up at age 39 after watching my elderly mother successfully quit and deciding some years later that I could finally do it too. At 70, she had walked out of the doctor's office, thrown her cigarette pack in the rubbish bin and never smoked again.
She didn't find it easy for the first week or so but had made up her mind and never went back on that choice. This was after more than 50 years of smoking.
That I have also managed the task is a tribute to her, my own resolve and this web site.
We lost mum last year. If she had not stopped smoking when she did, the years between would have been far, far fewer. In one year, our family fiction of having "good genes" and thus no ill effects from smoking, ended suddenly.
We lost our mum young. In my family, non smokers die in their 90's .
In 2006 - a year before my mother's death from emphysema - she and dad had their 50th wedding anniversary. Attending that party was mum's 93yo aunt and 91yo uncle.
My mum died at 77 soon after her uncle. Mum's aunt is still with us at 95.
Mum died on the 9th April 2007 with her husband and children there until the end.
(My brother - who we never thought would quit- gave up the next day and a year later has not had a cigarette) Seven months after mum's death we were again seeing a parent die from smoking. Dad developed lung cancer which spread rapidly through his body. He was lost without his wife and never really recovered from watching her die. Despite this and his own illness, he was insistent about wanting to smoke (his "gaspers") until only weeks before his death when he was too ill to move from his bed.
I look at the cigarettes in the shops and wonder how many more mothers and fathers the makers of these drugs will kill in the coming years. However the sad truth is that while they sell the stuff - we choose every day whether to buy it or see it for what it is. Smoking is not a treat, is not a reward and brings no true comfort to you.
Everyone dies. This is a truth I can understand and accept with much more peace now.
However we should not die before it is our true time.
My mum and dad never saw their grandson finish school, become an adult nor see him now go into the world on his adventures.
Please don't smoke anymore.
TM Smith
Perth Western Australia
Last edited by John (Gold) on 07 Mar 2009, 01:20, edited 1 time in total.
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John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

29 Jul 2008, 19:42 #50

This has always been one of my favorites. Not only because of her courage at the end, but for my own horrible reasons. During my 30 years of bondage I didn't give much thought at all to the influence of my addiction upon my children, nieces and nephews, or upon the thousands of young people who must have seen me sucking down smoke in public. As a 17 year-old nicotine addict and senior class president I fought for and won the right to have a student smoking area at my high school. Inside those ropes, I recall seeing a number of students cough through those first puffs.
Insulated by the scores of use rationalization lies I lived and breathed, my mind was miles from reflecting upon the message and image my chemical dependency conveyed to young people. Now I find myself asking, if this truly is as addictive as heroin, what have I done? What have I done? How many young minds did I play a role in helping fool? I can't go back in time. I can't undo influence done. My only excuse is that I did so in ignorance. What I can do is, like this mother, try to set the record straight, to share the right lessons with the time that remains.
Just one rule ... none today!
Breathe deep, hug hard, live long,
John (Gold x9)
Last edited by John (Gold) on 07 Mar 2009, 01:23, edited 1 time in total.
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