I Can't Quit or I Won't Quit

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

14 Mar 2002, 07:37 #21

I thought it seemed appropriate to bring this one up to honor the memory of Diana's father. (See A very sad day, but grateful for my Freedom nonetheless.) I suspect many of us have been touched by such losses. It is nice to know that we are all taking steps here to end this sort of tragic legacy--to pass along the knowledge to your future generations that instead of having to die to quit smoking--you can quit smoking to live--and live healthier, better and longer as long as you always know to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

14 Mar 2002, 12:24 #22

Thank you Joel. ((Joel))

I appreciate what you have done for me more than you will ever know.

I never thought of smoking in any sort of positive light today, only negative. It took my father from me six years ago today, and will quite possibly take my mother from me as well. I'll be damned if it will take me or my future children. It ends with me.

Yqs, Diana
7.5 Months.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

06 Apr 2003, 08:03 #23

Excerpt from above:

"I can't stay, I had a horrible tragedy in my family today, my brother was killed in an accident." Fighting back emotions she continued. "I wasn't even supposed to come tonight, I am supposed to be helping my family making funeral arrangements. But I knew I had to stop by if I was going to continue to not smoke." She had only been off two days now. But not smoking was important to her. The group felt terrible, but were so proud of her, it made what happened in their day seem so trivial.

This part of the story alone deserved its own string. People can quit and stay free even at the worst of times. The best way to keep even the worst of times from being even worse is to always remember to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

23 Apr 2003, 05:34 #24

There was some discussion in another string about whether or not a person can quit smoking because he or she is addicted. Addiction to nicotine explains why a person smokes the way he or she smokes. It does not on the other hand excuse a person from smoking.

When a person says that he or she can't quit because he or she is addicted, he or she is wrong. All addiction means to a smoker is that he or she cannot smoke the way he or she wants to. He or she has to smoke in a way that alleviates withdrawal or suffer from the chronic withdrawal state induced from part-time or limited smoking. The woman in this story is a prime example. W

as she addicted to nicotine for years and decades? You bet she was. Did she somehow become unaddicted* when she was diagnosed with lung cancer? No, she was as addicted as she always was. Was it impossible for her to quit because she was addicted? Of course not, she quit smoking so quitting was possible. So the only question is why did she smoke for so long if she was really always able to quit?

The sad answer to that is that she never realized that she was able to quit until the cancer was diagnosed or she didn't feel that she had a good enough reason to quit until then. Sadly, whichever the reason was, using it ended up with her smoking until it was too late to save her life. Fortunately, it was not too late to save her loved ones lives and I hope her story has helped countless people over the past 25 years to save their lives too from her example.

Addiction causes a person to smoke the way he or she smokes. Understanding the addiction gives a person the tools he or she needs to break free from smoking. For once the addiction is understood for what it is the person has the one piece of ammunition to take permanent control of smoking, which is simply understanding to break free and stay free from smoking is to stop delivering nicotine from any source and then to always remember to never take another puff!

Joel

* Look it up in the dictionary. There is no such word as "unaddicted." This is not by accident. I have a post up somewhere about this but can't lay my hands on it at the moment. Hopefully someone will bring it up or if not I will try to track it down later.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

28 Nov 2003, 22:09 #25

Here is the link to another post that I think people reading here will benefit from seeing: Lung Cancer, Stage 4
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

31 Dec 2003, 09:05 #26

[url=http://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Noni.html][color=#0000FF][size=160]inoN Noni[/color][/size][/url]

Noni couldn't or she didn't?

Last edited by John (Gold) on 07 Mar 2009, 00:53, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

05 Jan 2004, 15:24 #27

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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

23 Jan 2004, 01:02 #28

We have a few people talking about the influence their smoking has on their children. I hope all of these people read this one to see the influence quitting smoking can have on their children and other loved ones down the road.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

16 Feb 2004, 07:59 #29



We may not think that this story applies to us but being a little bit addicted is like being a little bit pregnant. Like alcoholism our dependency is permanent and each of us only have two considerations: tolerance and how much nicotine it will take in order to die an addict's death or recovery and how much healing our bodies will experience, how rich our comfort becomes, and the number of extra sunrises we'll get to experience.

We cannot quit or we will not quit? Is this really even a challenge when compared to what looms in relapse? There was always only one rule, no nicotine today. The next few minutes are doable. Breathe deep, hug hard, live long! John
Last edited by John (Gold) on 07 Mar 2009, 00:45, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 10 Jan 2009, 00:50

01 Apr 2004, 10:20 #30

I never really thought about how my habit effected by children until I quit. I never smoked around them, never in the car, house, etc. I always smoked outside. My little girl sent me this e-mail a few days after I quit, and it broke my heart, but made me even more determined to succeed.
It sorta gives you an idea how our children feel about our bad choices. This is kid lingo for the computer.....I had to read it a few times....

mom,

hey i wanna tell u that im very proud of wat ur doing u noe smoking!and im glad that ur doing it and i hope u never go back.because i dunnno wat i would do if i lost u to lung cancer. i wouldn't eat sleep play or even go to school i luv u too much to loose u. i've lost too many people just this year. and life has just began for me,and i wouldn't want it to start of loosing u! Ma i luv u and always will for ever no matter how much u get me mad,sad,angery.I still and always will love you for -ever.mom i have never been proud in my life the way i am at u.Mom thank you for doing this! i luv u.
<3always,
your daughter michelle
p.s thanks
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

09 Jun 2004, 19:48 #31

I am attaching an article below that at first doesn't seem to belong in this string. It is talking about how people who switch from smoking to a different form of nicotine delivery can reduce their exposure to certain cancer producing chemicals in tobacco. It showed how the greatest reduction in these specific chemicals were found in the patch users. The article also said that "most of the health risk comes from the carcinogens in tobacco smoke." Actually this may not really be the case. Considering the fact that more people die from circulatory diseases caused by smoking than from cancers caused by smoking I wouldn't say that most of the risk from smoking comes from the carcinogens in cigarettes. But this point is also not the reason for attaching it to this thread here.

The reason I think it belongs in this thread is the closing comment of the article. It says, and I quote, "Therefore, for smokers who are unable or unwilling to give up, the nicotine patch offers the best option for those who want to reduce their risk of smoking-related disease."

If the article had ended on the comment, "for those unwilling to give up," I would have filed it under not particularly important to mention here at Freedom. There are lots of articles that are written all of the time on how people can "reduce" their risks from smoking by switching to alternate forms of nicotine delivery. At Freedom this information is meaningless for we work on the basis of eliminating the risk and problems of nicotine exposure, not worrying about only reducing the risks. But the article said, "for smokers who are unable or unwilling to give up," leaving the impression that there are people who are unable to quit.

My best guess is that there are a whole lot of members here and a whole lot of people who read here who are now ex-smokers who at one time thought that they were unable to give up cigarettes or nicotine. Everyone of them should know now that they were wrong. They were able to "give up smoking," or, more accurately to get rid of smoking. They were able to quit and to eliminate the risks of smoking and the problems of sustaining an active nicotine dependency and they were able to stay off by simpy making and sticking with a personal commitment to never take another puff!

Joel


Comparing reduced exposure tobacco products with nicotine patches

Reported by Susan Aldridge, PhD, medical journalist

A new study compares carcinogen exposure with smokeless tobacco, reduced exposure cigarettes and nicotine patches.
While it's the nicotine in cigarettes that gets people hooked, most of the health risk comes from the carcinogens in tobacco smoke. Some manufacturers are now making products that contain fewer carcinogens like nitrosamine or polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons.

Researchers at the University of Minnesota now report on carcinogen uptake in a group of 54 users of smokeless tobacco, and 51 smokers switching to either reduced exposure cigarettes or nicotine patches. They measured nitrosamines in urine four weeks after making the switch and also levels of a biomarker for polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbon uptake.

All had reductions in nitrosamines after making the switch and this was greatest for those on the nicotine patch. And only those on the nicotine patch had a reduction in biomarker level for polyaromatic hydrocarbon uptake. Therefore, for smokers who are unable or unwilling to give up, the nicotine patch offers the best option for those who want to reduce their risk of smoking-related disease.

Source
Journal of the National Cancer Institute 2nd June 2004 Volume 96 pages 844-852
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

01 Dec 2004, 04:16 #32

For anyone who may have the impression that maybe it would be better to wait to quit until he or she has a better reason. Yes maybe if you wait you will get a better reason--a reason that is so compelling that you will find yourself "happy" to quit. But that happiness may come at a premium. Quitting smoking at any stage of the game has benefits as seen in this story, but the maximum benefits are gained by people who are quitting when they are still healthy and no one should minimize the importance of that fact. The way to have a healthier life, which will by default be a happier life with all other factors being equal, is to continue to stick to the commitment you made when joining up at Freedom to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

04 Dec 2004, 10:57 #33

Last edited by John (Gold) on 07 Mar 2009, 01:00, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

29 Dec 2004, 20:14 #34

For anyone who may have the impression that maybe it would be better to wait to quit until he or she has a better reason. Yes maybe if you wait you will get a better reason--a reason that is so compelling that you will find yourself "happy" to quit. But that happiness may come at a premium. Quitting smoking at any stage of the game has benefits as seen in this story, but the maximum benefits are gained by people who are quitting when they are still healthy and no one should minimize the importance of that fact. The way to have a healthier life, which will by default be a happier life with all other factors being equal, is to continue to stick to the commitment you made when joining up at Freedom to never take another puff! Joel
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

24 Feb 2005, 21:29 #35

Thanks Joel for bringing this ( I Can't Quit or I Won't Quit) up again. I'd read your article before and it is one of my favorites because of this line which, to me, is very appropros in regards to my son MJ - "they want to stop but they can't. I know where they learned that, and I am mad at myself for it. So I am stopping to show them I was wrong. It wasn't that I couldn't stop smoking- it was that I wouldn't! I know I will not have another cigarette. I don't know if this will make anybody stop, but I had to prove to my children and to myself that I could quit smoking. And if I could quit, they could quit, anybody could quit."
And then I clicked on this link In memory of Rob: I have some sad news (broken link)
I hope Teresa doesn't mind bringing new attention to this message. I had never explored the other links and responses in this string. Because of Rob's (& Teresa's) decision to share their quit experiences maybe other nicotine addicts reading and exploring here at Freedom who may be 'on the fence' with their quit decision will 100% commit to Never Take Another Puff.
My resolve to NTAP! is even moreso - strong and uncompromising. joejFree
Last edited by JoeJFree Gold on 07 Mar 2009, 01:22, edited 2 times in total.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

27 Mar 2005, 10:52 #36

Squeezed artery of a 32 year-old smoker
We may not think that this story applies to us but being a little bit addicted is like being a little bit pregnant. Like alcoholism our dependency is permanent and each of us only have two considerations: growing tolerance and how much nicotine it will eventually take in order to die an addict's death or recovery and how much healing our bodies will experience, how rich our comfort becomes, and the number of extra sunrises we'll get to experience.

We can't quit or we refuse to quit? Is nicotine dependency recovery really even a challenge when compared to what looms ahead should we relapse? There was always only one rule, no nicotine today. The next few minutes are doable. Breathe deep, hug hard, live long! John (Gold x5)
Last edited by John (Gold) on 07 Mar 2009, 00:58, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

08 Apr 2005, 00:09 #37

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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

27 Apr 2005, 23:29 #38

This has always been one of my favorite articles. It is the only article that I have written that we use at Freedom that breaks one of our own rules and courtesies. I wrote it long before I was at Freedom and just felt that in honor and memory of the woman who inspired the letter I could not alter its original content. I felt in some way I had to be true to her memory.

The reason that the article is one of my favorites though is that it illustrates many important issues. It shows the life threatening impact of smoking, the fact that anyone can quit smoking, covers the topic of utilizing personal motivations in order to sustain a quit, and shows that it is never too late to gain major benefits by quitting, even if a person may be in an irreversible terminal state.

But there is another important story in the article that I have never commented on before but is very pertinent to our board. It is about the two woman in the clinic who were constantly gabbing with each other.

Every now and then when I am running live clinics I will notice that two or sometimes three class members end up having side conversations during the clinic. Sometimes I am covering a topic of great significance, or others clinic participants are sharing insights that are really very important. You can tell that when individuals are talking to each other that they are missing the concepts that are being shared by me or the other class members speaking in the time they are chatting. If the people are in the back of the room and very quiet it usually poses minimal problems for others, although at times it is obviously very distracting. There is no doubt though that the individuals involved are missing concepts that they would have benefited from hearing.

The two women in the story above missed a bulk of what went on in that clinic and I think that all who read the above story realized that they had missed a lot that particular session. They definitely were not getting the full value of what the clinic had to offer.

There are times where a similar situation occurs at Freedom. Where two or three new people start to get involved in ongoing dialogues, sometimes talking about smoking and other times expanding the conversations into other areas. This usually occurs between newer members who really haven't realized what the real value of our board is. Our board value is not being a support group where new quitters can socialize and learn all about other new quitters. It is an educational site in which people who are quitting smoking can learn valuable insights to treating nicotine addiction and to learn from longer-term successful quitters how life can go on after quitting.

In all honesty, almost any other Internet based support site on smoking cessation is better at meeting people and having more laid back and relaxing conversations. We are set up to always maintain an educational focus and in many ways, it takes more effort to actively engage in more meaningful and thought provoking posts that really help all who are reading here to secure their quits.

Many may think that the background chatter in a live clinic poses more of a problem than the same kind of socialization being done on the board. After all, being that the words are written if a person is chatting at one moment in one string, he or she can go back and see all that has happened in other string as time permits. The problem is the more new members see this kind of background chatter, the more likely they too are going to get involved in it and spend less time reading the great variety of informational posts we have at Freedom. We don't want people spending any more time at Freedom than necessary and we don't want people having to siphon through background clutter having a harder time finding quality information that really will help them to stay motivated to not smoke.

All new members should read the Buddy Systems post and the additional commentaries in the 238th post in that string. Also I put up a new string a couple of days ago titled A Warning About Quit Journals. It was in a few of our newer member Quit Journals that this kind of affiliation between new members was occurring, and where it was becoming obviously that other new members started to perceive were the best places to spend their times at Freedom.

Again, the most valuable utilization of your time at Freedom is from learning all that you can about why you smoked, why you wanted to stop, how to stop and then--most important of all--how to stay off. The way to accomplish this is by reading and learning all you can from our articles and from the posts of our longer-term successful quitter that offer insights of people who for a significant amount of time now have proven that they can get through life's trials and tribulations with their quits intact from having finally having learned that to stay smoke free is as simple as sticking to a personal commitment to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

10 Jun 2005, 09:46 #39

Sometimes, even when it is too late for one thing, it is not too late for other things. Smoking likely ended up costing the mother in this story her life. Her quitting likely ended up saving her son's life. She quit in time to prove to her son and the rest of her family that a person even under the worst of conditions can make and stick to a commitment to never take another puff! Joel
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

24 Sep 2005, 05:59 #40

I see Geo is just now celebrating his 5 year anniversary. I can't help but to think of Vivian whenever Geo drops by the board. I popped up this string and attached the following comment the day Geo broke the news to us that his mother had passed away. As all can see Geo got through that time period with his quit intact which is an important example to all that even in the worst of times that people will stay successful as long as the continue to stick to their personal commitment to never take another puff.
Recommend Message 26 of 100 in Discussion
From: Joel. Sent: 2/2/2002 6:34 AM
In memory of Vivian:

I know the diseases and time frame involved were very different--but the message in the epilog of being able to prove to the rest of the world that quitting is possible often has the ripple effect of teaching those around you and often, those most imprtant to you, that they too can quit. Vivian achieved this when Geo quit, and I suspect this was one of her greatest comforts and joys when she proved to him and everyone else she supported that she was able to never take another puff.

Joel
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:06

06 Feb 2006, 20:16 #41

God bless you Joel... thank you for recommending this one - you were so right; I do so appreciate this message. Maybe moreso than any other? Certainly in my personal "Top Ten".

It is such a blessing to be able to prove to my children how wrong I was in saying that I couldn't quit and showing them that I can indeed. This is one time I can say without hesitation how glad I am that I was so very wrong.

Oh the lessons to be learned through this one are far reaching!
Quit Dance">

Mother of four,
Em
Two weeks, one day, 9 hours, 4 minutes and 33 seconds. 230 cigarettes not smoked, saving $48.90. Life saved: 19 hours, 10 minutes.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

27 Feb 2006, 22:04 #42

Sometimes, even when it is too late for one thing, it is not too late for other things. Smoking likely ended up costing the mother in this story her life. Her quitting likely ended up saving her son's life. She quit in time to prove to her son and the rest of her family that a person even under the worst of conditions can make and stick to a commitment to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

06 Mar 2006, 22:24 #43

I think this example is an important article to highlight when people do enounter the death of loved ones who had previously quit smoking. I know many people seem to be motivated to quit when a smoker develops or dies of a smoking related illness. The stories of people who quit though and sustain their quits even if they do find out that they have a smoking related illness delivers an even more important message.

Most people know that smoking kills, but there are a lot of people who think that quitting or staying smoke free is difficult, and under times of personal tragedy, close to impossible. People who believe this are working under false impressions.

People who quit and stay free for the rest of their lives, even at the point in time where staying quit won't keep them alive are showing all that they still realize that quitting smoking was a great feat and one that they usually cherish till the end, especially if it helps others to make and stick to a personal commitment to never take another puff.

Joel
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

14 May 2006, 23:07 #44

Since it was Mother's Day I thought this was a good one to bring up.

Here was a commentary I attached to this string three years ago:

There was some discussion in another string about whether or not a person can quit smoking because he or she is addicted. Addiction to nicotine explains why a person smokes the way he or she smokes. It does not on the other hand excuse a person from smoking.

When a person says that he or she can't quit because he or she is addicted, he or she is wrong. All addiction means to a smoker is that he or she cannot smoke the way he or she wants to. He or she has to smoke in a way that alleviates withdrawal or suffer from the chronic withdrawal state induced from part-time or limited smoking. The woman in this story is a prime example. Was she addicted to nicotine for years and decades? You bet she was. Did she somehow become unaddicted* when she was diagnosed with lung cancer? No, she was as addicted as she always was. Was it impossible for her to quit because she was addicted? Of course not, she quit smoking so quitting was possible. So the only question is why did she smoke for so long if she was really always able to quit?

The sad answer to that is that she never realized that she was able to quit until the cancer was diagnosed or she didn't feel that she had a good enough reason to quit until then. Sadly, whichever the reason was, using it ended up with her smoking until it was too late to save her life. Fortunately, it was not too late to save her loved ones lives and I hope her story has helped countless people over the past 25 years to save their lives too from her example.

Addiction causes a person to smoke the way he or she smokes. Understanding the addiction gives a person the tools he or she needs to break free from smoking. For once the addiction is understood for what it is the person has the one piece of ammunition to take permanent control of smoking, which is simply understanding to break free and stay free from smoking is to stop delivering nicotine from any source and then to always remember to never take another puff!

Joel

* Look it up in the dictionary. There is no such word as "unaddicted." This is not by accident. I have a post up somewhere about this but can't lay my hands on it at the moment. Hopefully someone will bring it up or if not I will try to track it down later.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

01 Sep 2006, 21:13 #45

restating my post Message 89

"they want to stop but they can't. I know where they learned that, and I am mad at myself for it. So I am stopping to show them I was wrong. It wasn't that I couldn't stop smoking- it was that I wouldn't! I know I will not have another cigarette. I don't know if this will make anybody stop, but I had to prove to my children and to myself that I could quit smoking. And if I could quit, they could quit, anybody could quit."
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