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- PERSONAL ISSUES - If any member ever feels that their quit is threatened by a factual situation then feel free to share the basic facts in your request for help. Unnecessary posting of detailed personal issues that involve controversial lifestyle choices or that expresss personal opinions on such issues as religion, gambling, drinking, drug use, premarital or extramarital affairs, sexual orientation, sex, gun control, child rearing problems, caring for the elderly, politics, and a host of other real life issues, do nothing to promote Freedom's mission and are not appropriate. Such real life issues exist for all of Freedom's members and no one should ever feel that their inability to air such issues will in any way impede his or her ability to stay nicotine free.
- GENERAL SOCIALIZATION - Freedom's message boards are reserved for giving and receiving nicotine cessation support and not for general socialization. There are thousands of fun MSN and AOL sites and each has a link that allows you to send invitations to your friends, requesting that they join you! Help us keep Freedom a serious and supportive classroom that helps save and extend human life!
"....I guess its kind of like going to church in a time of crisis. When you go to a crowded church service after a real life shattering event, do you go there with the intent that you will go in front of the congregation, scream out all of the gory details for all to hear and want the service to stop and focus around you? Or do you go to the church to get back your focus, to quietly reflect and think of solutions in a safe haven kind of environment, or maybe, if deeply troubled enough you may go to your religious leader after the service for guidance? I suspect or at least hope your reason for going is for the latter--you may be looking for answers or meaning but you are not going to drag the whole congregation into it.
........ think before you post. Is your post a cry for help or a cry for attention? If it is the latter think hard before hitting that send key. A cry for attention will likely be deleted in the future and if repeated or if blatant enough, membership may be pulled. We don't want to kick a person when they are down, but we will not tolerate our board being destabilized or more important, our members quits being destabilized by attention seeking posts.
Again, no matter what the crisis, smoking won't solve it. As it has been written many a times here, a relapse will not solve a crisis, a relapse is a crisis. If you don't want another life-threatening problem on your hands always remember to never take another puff!
|From: Joel||Sent: 5/24/2003 9:33 AM|
| I like to bring this string up occasionally to prevent potential problems as opposed to having to deal with a problem. We are not a site that is right for people who are looking for a social network or worst yet, and audience to air their life's woes. We are a quit smoking site. |
We work on developing a positive outlook on life without smoking. That is not saying that there are not problems that people will have in their lives after quitting smoking--it is just saying that after the first few days, quitting smoking isn't going to be the cause of these problems and more important--going back to smoking isn't going to fix any of these problems. We view people who start bringing in a host of other issues of their personal life into Freedom as attention seeking people. The paragraph from the original post addresses this situation.
"Attention seekers can hurt a serious site. They can stir up wild emotions, cause great debates and controversies, and in a way destabilize this board and the quits of people at this board. People come here for our clear headed and logical support. We are a safe haven for people in crises. We maintain this status by keeping the board serious and focused."
Every new person still coming in here deserves the same serious information and support as every one of our longer-term established members found on his or her arrival. They found a site that was dedicated to one simple principle--to help each and every member stay committed to his or her life saving goal to never take another puff!
|From: Joel||Sent: 7/20/2003 5:11 PM|
| A quit smoking site is not the place to solve major life traumas. A quit smoking site may be the best site to deal with smoking, depending on the site, and there may be some other specialized sites that are helpful in dealing with other traumas too, but often people on an Internet sites may not have the best training or understanding or be the best prepared for dealing with the specific problem at hand. You may find people who really want to help but who may not in fact be the best people to deal with the problem you are facing. |
If a member encounters real life tragedies they should seek help from professionals. If your car breaks down call a mechanic. If your computer suddenly dies you don't call a friend whose computer also died and has not been able to get it going again. If your home plumbing explodes you don't get right on the Internet and time chatting on a bulletin board about how bad everything smells without first calling a plumber to actually fix the problem. If your house all of sudden starts on fire you don't go to the Internet and compare notes with others who may have lived through a fire experience--you call the fire department. If someone breaks into your home while you are still there you don't go to the Internet to talk out your fears. You either call the police or try to escape from your home. If you are experiencing sudden chest pains or maybe all of a sudden lose vision in one eye you shouldn't spend time looking up symptoms on the Internet or chatting with others who may have had a similar experience at one time, you call for paramedics. If something emotionally big is happening in your life and you find yourself spinning out or control you need to seek professional help too. It may mean calling your doctor, a professionally sanctioned crisis hotline in your town who can offer real live support, going to a local emergency room, calling 911 or what ever emergency number is set up in your area by local authorities, depending on the severity of the problem and how fast you can get action.
This list could have gone on but hopefully everyone gets the point here. If you ever find yourself in a medical or psychological crisis seek professional assistance, meaning, seek a professional in the arena of the specific problem you are encountering.
Again, depending on the problem you are facing there are professionals who can help. There are professional mechanics, plumbers, firemen, police, paramedics, crisis counselors, psychologists and physicians. Deal with emergencies head on when they occur. At the same time stay focused on the fact that whatever the problem, taking a cigarette will not help it.
Once you have dealt with the crisis, and your full attention is not needed to get out of the immediate danger, then is the time to come to a quit smoking site and reinforce your resolve to stay smoke free, either by reading or maybe even posting. Hopefully if you come back in to post, the essence of the post will be saying how you have proved to yourself once again that even under the most extreme of circumstances that you are able to stay smoke free by just sticking to your commitment that no matter what else is going on around you that you still know to never take another puff!
Some problems are real and I don't want anyone to think I am making a mockery of them. But some problems are just too big to be dealt with in the confines of this board. We are a serious support and educational site; we are not a talk show here.
When catastrophes strike I want members to think a little before they post. Is the situation they are writing about something that anyone can really help with here? Does the post have anything to do with smoking? If you read the same post from another person would you see it as a cry for help or a cry for attention?