How not to use quit journals

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How not to use quit journals

Joel Spitzer
Joined: 13 Nov 2008, 14:04

19 Jan 2009, 00:58 #1

A Warning About Quit Journals Quit journals are a mechanism for individuals to keep track of their own thoughts and progress in quitting. At times quit journals seem to become a meeting place for people to come in and buddy up with others who are in their same stages of quitting (See BuddySystems). There are times that it becomes obvious that newer members find these journals and spend the bulk of their time reading the experiences and insights of other new quitters as opposed to spending their time reading and learning from all of our more seasoned members and from all of the articles we have made available at the site.

It is ill advised for new members to be spending their time in the journals of others. If it becomes obvious that members are spending their time writing personal messages or generally socializing in each others quit journals, we will remove those journals.

We have the following rules spelled out in Our Courtesy and Rules:

PERSONAL MESSAGES - Please use email for personal "one to one" communications and not the message boards. Please do not post your email address in any messages or ask for any other member's email address.

GENERAL SOCIALIZATION - Freedom's message boards are reserved for giving and receiving nicotine cessation support and not for general socialization. There are thousands of fun sites on the internet that are centered around socializing. Freedom is not a place to celebrate the birthdays of our thousands of members or to celebrate hundreds of national or religious holidays. Please help us keep Freedom a serious and supportive group that remains focused exclusively on the topic of freedom from nicotine.
VIOLATIONS - Violation of the forum's Courtesies and Rules may result in permanent loss of membership and posting privileges.
The following are commentaries that we had in our original MSN string about Quit Journals:

There is one thing that makes our goal a little different than many Internet based sites. We don't want people to sacrifice time from other areas of their lives and getting hooked on the board. In the beginning few days this is common, where new members really do spend an inordinate amount of time reading and learning and trying to strengthen their resolve. This is during the time period when many people do find their lives centered around not smoking. Over time though, life should not need to be centered around not smoking, it should be centered around living your life. Being really successful means that you have developed the ability of being with family, friends, doing your job, and meeting your normal day to day demands without constantly thinking about smoking or about quitting.

We don't want new members or people first looking at our site who are just considering quitting to think that quitting smoking is going to be a major time commitment or something that is going to consume the rest of their lives. Quitting smoking is going to buy you lots of time and allow you the ability to live your life to the fullest.

We know not everyone has time to stop by and write everyday. Some people don't have time to write every week or even every month. But do try to find the time to stop by and read every once in a while. Taking a few minutes to read can help to secure your quit. Securing your quit can help to buy you years and maybe even decades of extra time of a healthier and higher quality life. Make a point of stopping by every now and then to to read and strengthen your commitment and resolve to never take another puff!

Freedom is a tool to help you with your quit. We are giving you an addiction education. But you need to keep these lessons with you, incorporate the education into your general knowledge and way of life. Your success is contingent on you and you alone. Your quit is contingent on only you remembering that to stay smoke free you must never take another puff!

Joel
Last edited by Joel Spitzer on 19 Jan 2009, 16:20, edited 5 times in total.
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JohnPolito
Joined: 11 Nov 2008, 19:22

17 Nov 2009, 01:30 #2

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The title says it all! This journey leads to comfort for all of us. As it does, the seriousness of the site and the tremendous focus maintained here will gradually evolve from being exactly what we needed during Glory Week to exactly what we don't need as comfortable and relaxed ex-smokers. It's almost a paradox. The sign on the door says "Freedom from Nicotine" but once we grow into a somewhat relaxed ex-user it's natural to want the sign on the door to read "Freedom to Relax, Let Our Hair Down a Bit, Freedom to Loosen Up and Have a Bit of Fun!" "The path was long, at times intense, we made lots of friends along the way and now we just want to tone things down a bit!" It's normal for oldbies to feel like things are just too structured - because for most they truly are!

Freedom is a unique blend of education and support but our education mission comes first. It must, for without a solid recovery education our success at supporting an uneducated member is in serious doubt.

During this first year following our move from MSN to Yuku our tiny staff devoted most of its free time to trying to clean-up and fix broken links, missing images, formatting and duplicate posts within hundreds of education threads. Unfortunately, while doing so we relaxed oversight of member posts. When we actually stopped and looked closely at the number of threads that had turned into social meeting sites it left lumps in our throats. At MSN, if a member had difficulty staying focused we warned them and if they still failed to do so we simply let them go. But when we looked closely, a number of our Yuku members had received far more warnings than would ever have been tolerated at MSN.

Our content rule is simple - if it's a recovery related post, it's fine - if not, then it is not acceptable! And recovery is pretty broad to include all the education topics, member recovery related posts, milestone threads, stats parades, articles and studies (please get stories and links approved by a manager first), and relapse prevention!

We understand the desire to socialize and to want Freedom to relax things a bit as you move along but we refuse to let it happen. Each new arrival deserves the same deadly serious forum that existed when we arrived. Many here understand the comfort development concept and the growing desire to share some relaxing time with those who made the journey with them, but they don't appreciate the fact that the rebellious spirit is a normal development (almost like teens who feel the need to move out and get away from mom and dad's house rules). We'd love for nothing more than to shut Freedom down for the weekend and take all of our members out to the beach, a movie or for a Hot Fudge Sunday, but for every comfortable oldbie Freedom graduates we have a Glory Week newbie walking through the front door. We can't leave!

When the time comes where any member's recovery evolves to the point that they feel that Freedom is simply too strict in staying on message then there is absolutely no reason why they can't spread their wings, take some time away from Freedom, or find an online place that is designed for socialization, and maybe even invite their Freedom friend along with them. It isn't necessary to disrupt Freedom's focus or try and burn the house down just because you're ready to enjoy your new life. We want our Oldbies around but not if they're growing hostile to their confines.

You can always come back and post when you need your batteries recharged or you feel like sharing your vast library of recovery wisdom with Freedom's next generation of newbies. It isn't necessary to say things that can't be taken back in order to justify your departure. or your displeasure with the tremendous focus we will continue to maintain. We're not like any other site, it's by choice and we each knew it from day one!


We're far from perfect and we know it. We make mistakes now and then and we know it. It's extremely easy to find fault with all of us and the longer we're around each other the more human we each become. Out of respect for Freedom and the education and support this forum has provided you, we ask that as your recovery matures into comfort and you begin to find the structure here at Freedom too confining that you act in a mature manner that ensures that all new arrivals will be able to enjoy the same life saving message that Glory Week shared with you!

If you have any comments or criticism that you'd like to share please DO NOT post it to this message but email it to us instead. Our new members deserve a tranquil site and each of you know that we don't tolerate disruption. We did it for you, we do it for them. To all members who strive to honor the forum's focus rules our sincere thanks.

Still just one rule ... no nicotine today!

John

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Joel Spitzer
Joined: 13 Nov 2008, 14:04

04 Mar 2011, 23:22 #3

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FreedomStaff
Joined: 30 Aug 2011, 12:44

20 Jan 2012, 15:55 #4

A Warning About Quit Journals[font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF][/font][font=ARIAL, GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]Quit journals are a mechanism for individuals to keep track of their own thoughts and progress in quitting. At times quit journals seem to become a meeting place for people to come in and buddy up with others who are in their same stages of quitting (See BuddySystems). There are times that it becomes obvious that newer members find these journals and spend the bulk of their time reading the experiences and insights of other new quitters as opposed to spending their time reading and learning from all of our more seasoned members and from all of the articles we have made available at the site.[/font]

It is ill advised for new members to be spending their time in the journals of others. If it becomes obvious that members are spending their time writing personal messages or generally socializing in each others quit journals, we will remove those journals. 


From the 4th post in  Buddy Systems :

"To be honest, there are a lot of boards out there for people looking for this kind of social support. We are different here, we want the longer-term quitters to be the teachers and the "newbies" to be benefit from their successful experiences. Don't be mistaken, you won't be newbies for long and we will actively want your support to help new members joining very soon. But for now, Newbies should spend more time learning than supporting others or teaching.


Again, your time for teaching will come. And you will find it a rewarding experience as well as a great reinforcement in keeping your resolve strong to stay smoke free. But for now the important issue is freeing yourself of nicotine. For that goal we offer you the Freedom Board and welcome you all."

Joel


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