How do you handle being with smokers?

John (Gold)
John (Gold)

October 20th, 2001, 3:26 am #51

This is for Sabrinia and John, a married couple,
who are just beginning their journey of healing!
Breathe deep, hug hard, live long! John : )
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

December 3rd, 2001, 1:51 am #52

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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

December 31st, 2001, 12:14 pm #53

The initial step in turning a New Year's Resolution to quit smoking into a new nicotine free life is to make it through New Years, and being around others whose lives revolve around regular nicotine feedings. When you're there and the clock strikes twelve and the New Year arrives, followed by that first opportunity to destroy your new resolution, don't think ahead but instead just focus on saying NO then and there!

Don't trouble your mind with what will happen in ten minutes, an hour or when you awake in the morning, but simply focus your entire determination on saying NO for just three minutes! If you succeed for three minutes you will have a single victory of which you can be proud! It's a big victory too for without it your resolution and new beginning would have ended before it began.

When you lay your head on your pillow, be proud of yourself! Tomorrow you'll awake and take baby steps again, just one tiny 3 minute battle at a time, and before you know it, the victories will begin building and so will your confidence!! Baby steps to glory! Like climbing cliffs - focus on getting a good grip upon the rocks in front of you! Breathe deep, hug hard, live long! YQB John : )
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SweetLorraine (Gold)
SweetLorraine (Gold)

January 5th, 2002, 1:44 am #54

For newbies
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janetd (GOLD)
janetd (GOLD)

January 6th, 2002, 11:02 am #55

Forward we go!
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

January 18th, 2002, 6:32 am #56

This hand is feeding a need
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GREEN (NIKKI66)
GREEN (NIKKI66)

February 4th, 2002, 11:45 am #57

So far i haven't challenged a smoke related get together i have avoided it completly.
How proud and strong minded you must havve felt. I will book mark this so when i need to go some were, into a crouded smoke filled room i will have extra ammo, before i leave.
thanks again
nikki
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

March 16th, 2002, 11:00 am #58

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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

April 12th, 2002, 11:23 am #59

See our brothers and sisters still in bondage for what they're truly doing!

They only have two choices:

1) smoke more nicotine and elevate their sagging blood serum nicotine level, which will in turn release new dopamine, or

2) experience the onset of early withdrawal

We had a zillons of excuse - every addict does - but the truth is the truth. The nicotine half-life clock was our real boss (the amount of nicotine remaining in the blood is reduced by 50% every two hours).
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murphying (Gold)
murphying (Gold)

April 12th, 2002, 2:10 pm #60

I can honestly say I no longer feel any desire to smoke - my last bad time was at almost 2 months quit when I was more or less forced to sit around in a smoke-filled room for some hours at a friend's wedding. I felt so bad and so desperately wanted to join in the smoking that I thought I must have ingested enough nicotine through sidestream smoke to generate a relapse. Joel did explain that it wasn't possible to do this and in the end I figured I had an awful reaction to all the other chemicals I was exposed to - certainly felt very uncomfortable for a few days.
Since then I've been so easy with my quit - there are no triggers big enough to make me want to give up my new life - I'm just too comfortable here now and when I see somebody else smoking it holds no attraction for me any longer....thanks in a large measure to the education so readily available here at Freedom.
I know now that I'm an addict and always will be - this understanding is the biggest weapon I have against any thought of relapse!




yqs Ingrid

3 Months 1 Week 4 Days 35 Minutes 42 Seconds. Cigarettes not smoked: 5051.
Self esteem 100%
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Joanne Gold
Joanne Gold

April 12th, 2002, 11:01 pm #61

This message has been deleted by the manager or assistant manager.
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Joanne Gold
Joanne Gold

April 12th, 2002, 11:07 pm #62

Oh Ingrid, what a powerful graphic! I just emailed it to a few young ladies with the following message.....

Subject: A Picture Speaks A Thousand Lines!
You can't see it on the inside,
you can feel it.....


Slowly but surely, you will see it in the mirror!
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zacc SILVER
zacc SILVER

May 20th, 2002, 8:23 pm #63

i like most of us who smoked for years have finally got to the stage where i know this time is not me quiting but me starting a new healthy life and after almost 4 weeks(ive actualy stopped counting the hours/days now which is another reason i know ive kicked it)i have found myself in the company of smokers and having a few social drinks and not only do i not want to smoke im almost sickened by the smell and taste in the air around me and like a recent message sent to me said,you have to get up and go away to give your lungs some fresh air.
WISH I HAD DONE THIS YEARS AGO!!!!!!
I FEEL YOUNGER MORE ALIVE,MY WIFE TELLS ME MY EYES LOOK CLEARER AND I LOOK YEARS YOUNGER
FOR ALL THE PEOPLE JUST STARTING TO GIVE IT UP IF I CAN DO IT ANYONE CAN ,I SMOKED 30 A DAY FOR 16 YEARS AND I WOULD RECOMMEND COLD TURKEY AND THIS WEB SITE TO ANYONE WITH THE DESIRE TO START A NEW LIFE.

I WILL NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!!!!!!!!
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Hillbilly(Gold)
Hillbilly(Gold)

May 20th, 2002, 8:59 pm #64

This may be the wrong attitude, but it's the only one I have. I go out of my way NOT to be offended by smoking friends. Some of my more considerate friends will leave to go smoke, and I actively chastise them for this.

I never want to be a typical reformed smoker who constantly criticizes friends who are currently active addicts. That never worked for me, it only made me angry, and sometimes it made me smoke more.

It is still my opinion that everyone has the right to smoke, including me. I just choose not to.
It's like one of Joel's articles says, smokers are not stupid, or criminal, just human.

I continue to seek out the smoking section outside a party or a bar where friends are smoking. It is a way for me to meet my demons head-on, which is just the way my personality works. I wouldn't advise it for everyone. You have to know yourself.

Besides that, I like the smell of a smoker lighting up. It doesn't make me want to smoke, it doesn't even make me want just one--I just find the smell pleasant. I don't find the odor of a smoker or a full ashtray pleasant, just the smell of lighting up. I have heard other people say the same thing, and I wonder if that will go away. It doesn't matter, I'm just curious.

Like I said, probably not the best attitude, but it's the only one I have, and it works for me. Please don't try this just because I recommended it, figure out what works best for you.

Dave

I have chosen not to smoke for 1 Month 1 Day 22 Hours 33 Minutes 26 Seconds. Somewhere there are 958 extra cigarettes.
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Slycat
Slycat

May 20th, 2002, 9:17 pm #65

Hi John:

It really doesn't bother me to be around the smokers, but I do have a habit of asking them to blow their smoke in my direction or light up a cigarette near me so I can smell the smoke. But I will Not Take a Puff no matter what the craving. My craving is no more grearter or smaller when around smokers. Most of these people I have hung out with for so long whether it is at work or in a bar, I am use to seeing them smoke. Although the last time I went to the bar I met this guy Paul who was hanging out with the other people I know. He had a hole in his throat and had previously had throat cancer due to smoking. Of course he didn't smoke anymore which made me think to myself. I have never actually seen that before. Of course his voice was missing too. But everybody around him just puffed away like nothing. Him on the other hand of course said Never Again!!!! I had to lean next to him when he talked because he whispered.

But after I saw the horrible withdrawal I had to go through I will never take another puff for that reason. I would never want to go through that again...

People around me that smoke on the other hand do not bother me. It's almost like a pleausre to have them smoke around me because I like the smell. I hope that one day I start to hate the smell and when I am around smokers it starts to bother me but for now since I am still a newbie and almost Green Tomorrow I can honestly say that it does not bother me now but whether I crave the cigarette or not around them I will not have one, even when I'm drinking alchol...

Judy
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Joel
Joel

May 20th, 2002, 9:56 pm #66

For those still enjoying the smell of smoke. It is normally a minority of ex-smokers who continue to like the smell of smoke. The fact is these people can be around smokers and their quit can and will stay secure as long as they don't puff on a cigarette themselves. But as far as asking people to blow smoke your way, there is a philosophical question they should be asking yourself.

Do you want to give smokers the idea that you somehow miss smoking or that the smoker has something going really good for themselves? Keep in mind, these smokers can be looking at you as a person who used to be just like them--an out of control addicted smoker who has now quit and appreciates being smoke free. But by asking them to blow smoke your way, you are giving them the perception that you have sacrificed something great in your life and may be giving them the message that you somehow regret your quit. You may in fact be discouraging them from quitting.

So my advice to you, if these people are your family members or friends, or any people you actually care about, such requests while seeming harmless to you may in fact be hurting their chances of quitting. Do you really want to encourage these people to smoke? If they are people you don't care about this is probably no big deal--although do you even want strangers to be putting their life at risk in order to feed an addiction.

Your quit is for you though. This is a straight judgment call on your part. As I said before, you can be around such exposure without relapsing--but think very carefully of what kind of message you are sending others and also what you are thinking about smoking for yourself. If you still see cigarette smoke as a good thing, you could probably stand to read through The Palmolive Bottle Demonstration as well as the Smoking's Impact on the Lungs strings.

One more thing--while I say that second hand smoke exposure will not cause a relapse--there can still be adverse health effects from such exposure. Don't think because you like the smell that this means the smoke is not hurting you. Hydrogen cyanide smells sweet--almost like almonds yet it is highly toxic and potentially lethal. Smells can be deceiving. See cigarettes for what they are and they will automatically stink to you--not only for how they smell but for what they do. Cigarette smoke kills people, lots of people and if given the opportunity will kill you. To avoid stinking up your life and messing up your health always remember why you committed to never take another puff!

Joel
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Slycat
Slycat

May 20th, 2002, 11:37 pm #67

Hi Joel:

You are definately addressing me.

You are right about giving the wrong message to my friends and family that smoke. I don't know why I still like the smell of smoke and want it to be blown my way. I do understand what you have said about the chemicals that draw me to the smell like hydrogen cyanide. I do not mean to give these people the wrong message yet I can not help but enjoy the smell. Fortunately for me, I do not smell smoke anywhere anymore except for at my sister's house and the bar when I go there. This is not too often at all. Besides that I live in a totally smoke free atmostphere. Nobody in my family smokes except my sister and I do not see my friends that smoke unless I go to the bar.

So maybe because I am never around it I enjoy it when I am. I don't know why and I hope one day I begin to hate the smell.

Judy
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

May 28th, 2002, 6:26 pm #68

Nicotine is 5% of tobacco's weight. For those chemically dependent, smoking nicotine is an endless obligation of trying to maintain their blood serum nicotine level high enough so that they don't have to experience the onset of the anxieties of withdrawal. They feed their need before entering buildings, upon leaving buildings, while riding, walking, standing or sitting because the alternative - withdrawal - seems harder or even impossible. They feed their need because in their minds they must! In their minds it isn't a matter of choice but survival!
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OBob Gold
OBob Gold

June 25th, 2002, 8:50 am #69

For Tatum
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

August 1st, 2002, 10:39 am #70

I ran into an old friend in the gas station where I used to buy my daily supply (3 packs) and we had a nice chat. My work at WhyQuit came up and she was pretty interested. After we said goodbye I was immediately approached by a young smoker in his 20s with pen and paper in hand who asked, "what was that online address to that smoking site again?"

You may not realize it yet but we have each learned some pretty sought after skills here - how to live nicotine free just one day at a time. Don't be afraid to share what you've learned. The CDC's annual U.S. adult smoking survey was published last week and it once again found that a solid 70% of all smokers say that they want to quit smoking. That means that there's a 70% chance that the next smoker you meet is searching or praying for honest answers!
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txsmamaGOLD
txsmamaGOLD

August 1st, 2002, 12:54 pm #71

Yes John, I echo that completely! I have told people just today about us folks at Freedom! Again and again I hear, "you gotta want to quit"
yes, and then?
it is a horrible drug that you can't replace with another drug...such as alcohol

Just know you are doing the RIGHT thing, and John and Joel and the gang make it all possible

YQS
De
Three weeks, one day, 23 hours, 55 minutes and 3 seconds. 689 cigarettes not smoked, saving $103.48. Life saved: 2 days, 9 hours, 25 minutes.
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Ryan(Gold)
Ryan(Gold)

August 2nd, 2002, 1:15 am #72

Joel,

Thanks for another great reply. I completely agree with you. I personally can not stand the smell of smoke. It drives me crazy. I believe that the education I have received on this site (and other sites) has helped set my perspective, but to be completely honest with you I just can not stand it. I get so upset if I'm with people who like to smoke and they do not give me the opportunity to sit somewhere that is non-smoking. I remember during my initial few months, I didn't care. Now that I have been quit for well over a year and two months I don't want anything to do with it. It's not that I don't want to be around them because I'm afraid I'll start smoking again, I just do not want to be around the smoke. I respect smokers still, but they also have to respect me at the same time. The air on this Earth is free, but it is not free to me when someone else spoils it with smoke!!!!

I just wanted to unleash some of my frustrations that I have accumulated over the many months of not smoking and returning to my old self. As for your Dave, I bet with time you will not be able to stand the smell of smoke. But that is just my opinion with many months of experience.

Thanks for the great reply Joel. I'm with you 100% brother.

YQB,
Ryan I have not smoked for One year, two months, two weeks, three days, 13 hours, 14 minutes and 3 seconds. 8871 cigarettes not smoked, saving $1,552.43. Life saved: 4 weeks, 2 days, 19 hours, 15 minutes.
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

August 2nd, 2002, 1:28 am #73

I'm with you Ryan, I don't want to breathe smoke filled air anymore and I won't. It isn't that I'm down on smokers because I'm not. It isnt' that I've developed an "I'm better than you attitude" because I have not, and I fully apprecaite that I'll always remain just one puff of nicotine away from returning to three full packs-a-day. It's just that I feel guilt for having punished these lungs and this body for far too long. I've seen and felt some amazing healing since breaking free and I refuse to needlessly punish this body further. John
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Joel
Joel

August 31st, 2002, 5:56 pm #74

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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

October 3rd, 2002, 12:00 am #75

No matter where we go
or
who we're with there is still only one rule ...
NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF of nicotine!
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