How do you handle being with smokers?

Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:03 am

July 12th, 2004, 1:38 pm #101

I found that visualizing the truth helped me tremendously. When I got into a situation on the 4th of July celebration where I was around smokers, I honestly did not crave a cigarettes. However, I felt that I missed the time that we used to sit and smoke together with a glass of wine. I don't know how to explain this any better. I really did not have a crave for a cigarette at all. It is the time I used to enjoy then, that I missed. For a brief second, I thought I would love to sit and smoke with them. But then I started seeing matters as they really are. There is nasty smoke coming out of the mouths of these people like broken trucks that need new exhaust. I visualized the black tar depositing on their lungs with every puff they take. I literally saw the dirty gasses coming out from between their stained teeth. I saw bluish, greyish smoke escaping from their nostrils, while they hungirily took puff after puff as if clinging to their own demise. I truly felt so sorry for all of my friends the smokers. They were respectful to my quit and even asked me if it was ok to smoke around me. Guess what? I said "yes you can smoke around me if you wish, but please try to quit. As for me I'll never take another puff". And that was it.

Aida
a healing nicotine addict, free for 4 weeks, one hour and 33 minutes. I saved $275.03 and added three quality days to my life by chosing not to smoke 982 cigarettes.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

September 24th, 2004, 11:13 am #102

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

November 25th, 2004, 10:08 am #103

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

January 8th, 2005, 12:48 am #104

Look at Lydia's stats and then look at the Gold behind her name. Next year at this time you could be looking back at your early concerns and be smiling too! Forget about forever -- the biggest psychological bite imaginable. Baby steps, just one hour, challenge and day at a time!

From: Lydia_Gold Sent: 10/6/2002 11:37 AM
I wanted to comment on this one, since it was a big issue for me, or at least I thought it was going to be. My spouse is still chain smoking 3 packs a day and unfortunately for me, he isn't at all considerate of my quit. He smokes everywhere, in the tiny bathroom, in the compact car, and all over the house. My requests for him to please not smoke in the bathroom or in the car ( if it's just going to be a short ride) have fallen on totally deaf ears. I have the definate feeling in fact, that he wants me to fail.

I am currently on day 14 of my quit and the smell of a lit cigarette still smells really good, however, the stale smell of it permeating my entire home and car is now sickening to me. Kissing my chain smoking honey is tantamount to licking the inside of an ash tray. But, seeing people smoke bothers me more than smelling it. Even the graphics of cigarettes here on this site have bothered me since I arrived. I almost made a post quoting the 72 hour policy:

"This might be a place where nicotine has no voice, but it sure has it's face plastered all over the place." because the pictures of cigarettes and people inhaling cigarettes really bothered me. I have no choice but to watch it at home but sorta felt like I shouldn't have to here. I was expecting this to be a smoke free zone. I still click away from those pictures pretty fast.

But nothing in regards to all this would ever affect my quit. I have already been tested numerous times. When I was on day 4 of my quit (still bad for me at that point) I was walking my dog when I thought I was seeing a mirage up ahead on the side of the road. I blinked hard and tried to remember if having hallucinations and seeing mirages on the horizon were a possible side affect of withdrawal. As I got closer I marevelled at how real the little oasis was looking. It was a full pack of cigarettes in perfect condition, sitting right there in front of me. I reached out with my foot and gave it a little kick, just to make sure it was real. Sure enough, it was. Thank god it wasn't my brand or the little demon in me might have convinced me that it was an omen that I should be smoking again lol.

The second major test came on day 11. I had to drop Walt off at the dealer to pick up his car. We didn't even get out of the driveway before he had a butt in his mouth. To make matters worse, it was raining out so the window could only be cracked a little. Despite the fact that it was only a 30 minute drive, he refused to comply with my request to wait, and in fact lit 2 more in the next 30 minutes. So I got to pass the anger test as well as the being trapped in close quarters with a smoker test, both in the same day....but it just gets better! I drop him off at the dealer and drive the 30 minutes home, letting go of the anger and indignation that his complete lack of respect had inspired in me, and pull in the driveway, look down to put the car in park and I am suddenly struck by indiscribable horror. There, sitting on the console between the driver's seat and passangers seat is Walt's open pack of cigarettes and his lighter. I am all alone with a full pack of cigarettes and the lighter to set one ablaze and if I do it....no one will ever know. Those thoughts took far longer to write out here than they took to dissapate from my mind. It was just a nanosecond of thought really. I laughed at myself for even having felt something as strong as horror. I saw it as a loaded gun sitting on the console, and that is where the horror came from. But not one second later, I realized that a gun was all it was, it was only dangerous to me if I picked it up and put it to my own head. I decided instead, that it was time to disarm the gun, take the bullets out of the chamber and render it harmless. I picked up the open pack (didn't want to leave it in my own car) and put it right up to my nose. I took a deep sniff of it. I'd like to say that it smelled bad, but it smelled both good and bad at the same time. I walked into the kitchen and threw the pack and lighter on the kitchen table, and that is the end of the story.

Still standing strong in the simple principle that I will never take another puff.

I have been Quit for: 1W 6D 12h 42m 12s. I have NOT smoked 405, for a savings of $111.62. Life Saved: 1D 9h 45m.
Lydia
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

January 8th, 2005, 10:01 am #105

Hey John,
This is kind of funny for me, because when I first quit I was immediatly around smokers.
I work in a warehouse and for some reason the company I work for allows smoking on the job. I thought that it was illegal to smoke indoors at work in Washington state, but I must be mistaken.
Anyway I feel I do very well around smokers, because when I made the decision to quit smoking I knew that I would be working around people all day who continued to smoke.
There were times in the begining that were pretty difficult for me. Especially if I was having a bad day and things weren't going right on the job. I even put up a post talking about having a bad day and then watching someone smoke and I actually threw a fit! I'm talking about throwing things and doing walking laps around the warehouse like 15 times. LOL that is not me at all, but it was that day. I eventually calmed down and made it another day nicotine free.
Being around them at work now days is really no big deal. It's not a trigger for me anymore. If I have a bad day at work,smoking does not even cross my mind.
I do sometimes watch my co-workers smoke, but all I really think about is"Wow do they really want to smoke?" I see them light a cigarette without even thinking.
There would be days when I would look at my smoking co-workers with envy. There would be days that I would look at my nonsmoking co-workers with envy, but now It doesn't bother me either way.
Being around smokers for 40+ hours a week makes being around smokers anywhere else pretty much a cake walk for me.
Besides I choose to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF AGAIN!
Have a great nicotine free night!

YQB,
ERIC

I have been quit for 6 Months, 17 hours, 58 minutes and 30 seconds (184 days). I have saved $1,039.20 by not smoking 5,542 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Weeks, 5 Days, 5 hours and 50 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 7/7/04
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:00 am

March 19th, 2005, 11:59 pm #106

From: John (Gold) Sent: 1/31/2004 8:36 AM

Watch them, study them, it's amazing what you'll learn. In a social setting you can almost see their triggers at work as they tank up early and often. If they've been deprived of nicotine for any length of time watch their expression with that first powerful puff and how long it takes to arrive in the brain (8 seconds). You can almost sense their relief as they waited too long.

Endless compliance with nicotine's two-hour chemical half-life, a host of triggers that include being with other smokers (teen peer pressure having grown old), joy, sadness, boredom, watching anger during story telling quickly generate acids that neutralize reserves of the alkaloid nicotine, alcohol generating acids and doing the same based upon the amount consumed, and all their urges and craves are mandatory or they'll soon find themselves going through withdrawal.

You are watching drug addiction at work, us not so long ago. How many of the smokers you see have any idea whatsoever of why they really smoke, of the law of addiction, or know nicotine's half-life inside their body or how long it would take for their body to be free of nicotine and 90% of its metabolites? How many of them appreciate why those first couple of cigarettes in the morning were always the best (3 to 5 nicotine half-lifes and their nicotine reserves level somewhere down around their socks)? How many of them know the maximum length of time that a subconscious crave episode will last (less than three minutes) or that time distortion is almost universial nicotine dependency recovery symptom?

If you asked them how they'd measure success at quitting, how many of them would pick the biggest bite possible (quitting for life) instead of a manageable and realistic measurement (full and complete success one day at a time)? How many of them have any idea how their brain became addicted or that nicotine's half-life now dictates flow of neurochemicals generating unearned rewards, altering mood or when their body will prepare for fight or flight (adrenaline)?

Nicotine is just a chemical with an I.Q. of zero. It does not plot or conspire even in social settings. Knowledge is power. It's amazing what we can learn by looking at where we've been. Only one rule, no nicotine today, Never Take Another Puff! John
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

April 27th, 2005, 12:56 pm #107

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

May 3rd, 2005, 10:04 am #108

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: January 7th, 2009, 7:41 pm

May 7th, 2005, 11:16 am #109

I love this thread and go back to it often. I too stayed away from smokers in the very beginning. The other day I took a class trip with my son into the city (NYC). I watched my smoking friends fidget in their seats the last ten minutes of the train ride. I knew what was going on. We couldn't get out to the street fast enough for them. They lit up immediately. Boy do I remember. I am still having thoughts/ cravings but nothing like in the beginning, and I am enjoying not "having to smoke" like my smoking buddies. That in itself is worth the fight. During intermission as everyone ran out the door to get a fix, it was really nice to read the playbill and talk to the kids. I know that it is still a battle and I shall Never take another puff.

Thanks to everyone at Freedom I just love this sight
Anne Joy
Two weeks, three days, 44 minutes and 29 seconds. 408 cigarettes not smoked, saving $102.18. Life saved: 1 day, 10 hours, 0 minutes.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

May 7th, 2005, 12:08 pm #110

From: John (Gold) Sent: 7/31/2002 10:39 PM
I ran into an old friend in the gas station where I used to buy my daily supply (3 packs) and we had a nice chat. My work at WhyQuit came up and she was pretty interested. After we said goodbye I was immediately approached by a young smoker in his 20s with pen and paper in hand who asked, "what was that online address to that smoking site again?"

You may not realize it yet but we have each learned some pretty sought after skills here - how to live nicotine free just one day at a time. Don't be afraid to share what you've learned. The CDC's annual U.S. adult smoking survey was published last week and it once again found that a solid 70% of all smokers say that they want to quit smoking. That means that there's a 70% chance that the next smoker you meet is searching or praying for honest answers!
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

May 8th, 2005, 9:44 am #111

Today, I've been with family I have'nt seen in a while. They all smoke. They were concerned their smoking would make me uncomfortable in some way. I am convinced my not smoking made them more uncomfortable because I didn't feel bothered by it at all. They seemed very interested in not smoking "too much" and tried to keep away from me when they did. It didn't matter how many times I reassured them their smoking would not lead to my smoking again. They didn't seem too convinced. It wasn't something they could imagine being true.

If anything, I thought that while they could not imagine how I felt I very much knew how they were feeling and prefer how I feel a million times over.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

May 30th, 2005, 4:25 am #112

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:00 am

July 11th, 2005, 10:32 am #113

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

August 19th, 2005, 11:44 am #114

How do I handle being with smokers?

Well, after 6 1/2 years of freedom....hmmm

I try to stay as polite as possible while consuming unwanted aroma of burning tobacco. In the early days of my quit I would find myself staying away from smokers because I was disgusted to be bothered by the stench. The smell is aggravating to me but I try my best not to make others feel alienated. Of course, (when appropriate) I will steal the urge to share some good pointers on smoking cessation.

Mostly, I feel sorry for smokers. I have been there and understand the trap this addiction can have on us. It breaks my heart, and how I wish we could help everyone.

Joanne
6 1/2 years plus
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

December 25th, 2005, 9:39 am #115

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

April 22nd, 2006, 9:30 pm #116

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

April 22nd, 2006, 10:00 pm #117

Mentally: I refused to let "other" smokers influence me in anyway. I had decided that NTAP means exactly that....regardless of what temptations were laid in front of me. I tried to be mindful of all the places and triggers that I KNEW I would face and planned to deal with them.

Physically, I was faced with this situation really before I had time to think about it. I was at a Flyers game (professional Ice Hockey) and we were supposed to meet some friends and before I knew it, my feet were in the ONLY smoking place in the building - the pub. Aside from it stinking, I embrassed it as reinforcement. Because I had already decided that this is MY quit and because the world is filled with opportunities to relapse that I MUST CHOOSE TO IGNORE THEM.

Honestly, I felt bad for the other smokers and terribly embarrassed that it had been me at one time - nicotine addiction is such an ugly thing!

Nancy NTAP
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: January 9th, 2009, 12:19 am

April 23rd, 2006, 1:29 am #118

This message has been deleted by the author.
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

May 26th, 2006, 2:02 am #119

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

July 12th, 2006, 10:28 pm #120

From: Joanne - Gold Sent: 11/15/2003 12:47 AM
You will find lots of great member tips early in this thread.
Be sure and use the following controls to read them all.
You'll find them in every thread after the first and last post.
First Previous 107-121 of 121 NextLast

Quote
Like
Share

Joined: January 12th, 2009, 10:19 pm

September 1st, 2006, 10:33 pm #121

AmAZING thread! I just loved it. My lungs don't deserve to be exposed to the filth that comes from being around smokers now that they are healing. I know I have the resolve to be around smokers and to NTAP, (and I can actually admit to feeling a little smug from time to time) knowing that they are so addicted - and havent realised it yet! I hate the smell, the way it drained life from my skin - let alone my lungs! Now the healing has begun - today is the last day of my 1st month! Get through this (as I WILL) and I'm green!! I'm LOVIN it!! :-)
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 19th, 2008, 12:02 am

September 7th, 2006, 5:41 am #122

John, I have a question about the healing lungs part of this recovery. I've read lots of info but haven't run across the answers to these questions. First, do the lungs ever really recover and shed the blackness and is it normal to feel as if I can't get a deep breath from time to time which has NEVER happened before? (I know my heart is fine--no heart attacks here) during this my second week? Someone said it's just my lungs reinflating. Is that the case? I'm very curious about this. Just point me in the right direction if there is already an article addressing this. And thank-you so much for your insight and dedication. Danneo
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

November 27th, 2006, 1:33 am #123

From: Joel. Sent: 10/5/2000 9:32 AM
Good article Zep. I agree whole-heartedly, facing your biggest obstacles makes you realize your ability to face smaller ones. It takes out a major anxiety factor of not smoking. The most important trick is go into these situations being mentally prepared for anything. It will generally turn out much easier and better than you think.

While I always tell people that everything they do as smokers, they can do without smoking, they will often find that there are some things that they no longer choose to do once quitting. Sitting in a smoke filled room is one of them. While it is in their ability to do so, without relapsing I should add, it still can become so uncomfortable, irritating, or in some cases, where somebody has preexisting conditions such as asthma, emphysema or a heart condition, down right dangerous, that no matter what the social factors involved, the ex-smoker realizes it is not worth it.

Sometimes it is not only the smoke which is an annoying factor. Sometimes the environment that you have to be in to smoke is its own challenge. This is seen commonly in the case where the only smoking section is outdoors, and outdoors is currently a subzero climate.

As I said, everything you do as a smoker, you can do as en ex-smoker. But common sense will tell you it is not worth it. While everything you can do as a smoker you can do as an ex-smoker is a true statement, the reverse does not always apply. I could probably come up with a long list of things here that don't work for smokers as they do for ex-smokers, but I am going to leave it at one. Sometimes you can breathe air you so that your heart can pump and you can live another minute as an ex-smoker. Over 400,000 Americans smokers lose that ability everyday.

Thanks for sharing Zep and starting a topic that should be near and dear to everyone's heart. (And lungs, and brain, and a whole bunch of other organs which smoking can slowly destroy).


Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

January 17th, 2007, 11:00 pm #124

This is a very good thread to learn to utilize the 'Previous' and 'First' thread navigation buttons found at the top and bottom of the responses area of each page in this forum.
From: GrumpyOMrsS (Gold) Sent: 3/19/2005 10:59 AM
From: John (Gold) Sent: 1/31/2004 8:36 AM

Watch them, study them, it's amazing what you'll learn. In a social setting you can almost see their triggers at work as they tank up early and often. If they've been deprived of nicotine for any length of time watch their expression with that first powerful puff and how long it takes to arrive in the brain (8 seconds). You can almost sense their relief as they waited too long.

Endless compliance with nicotine's two-hour chemical half-life, a host of triggers that include being with other smokers (teen peer pressure having grown old), joy, sadness, boredom, watching anger during story telling quickly generate acids that neutralize reserves of the alkaloid nicotine, alcohol generating acids and doing the same based upon the amount consumed, and all their urges and craves are mandatory or they'll soon find themselves going through withdrawal.

You are watching drug addiction at work, us not so long ago. How many of the smokers you see have any idea whatsoever of why they really smoke, of the law of addiction, or know nicotine's half-life inside their body or how long it would take for their body to be free of nicotine and 90% of its metabolites? How many of them appreciate why those first couple of cigarettes in the morning were always the best (3 to 5 nicotine half-lifes and their nicotine reserves level somewhere down around their socks)? How many of them know the maximum length of time that a subconscious crave episode will last (less than three minutes) or that time distortion is almost universial nicotine dependency recovery symptom?

If you asked them how they'd measure success at quitting, how many of them would pick the biggest bite possible (quitting for life) instead of a manageable and realistic measurement (full and complete success one day at a time)? How many of them have any idea how their brain became addicted or that nicotine's half-life now dictates flow of neurochemicals generating unearned rewards, altering mood or when their body will prepare for fight or flight (adrenaline)?

Nicotine is just a chemical with an I.Q. of zero. It does not plot or conspire even in social settings. Knowledge is power. It's amazing what we can learn by looking at where we've been. Only one rule, no nicotine today, Never Take Another Puff! John
Quote
Like
Share

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

May 26th, 2007, 9:46 pm #125

There are people who admit they like the smell of second hand smoke.

I myself hate the smell. I told that to myself after a couple of weeks in my quit and I held on to it. I avoid second hand smoke and if I can't avoid it I tell myself I hate the smell. This is kind of letting myself know I'm stubborn and never will take a puff again.

If you say it often enough you will believe yourself. Same like saying each day I hate the smell of baked eggs. If you say that to yourself 100 times per day you will hate the smell in a couple of weeks.

Attitude or mindplays to make my quit stronger.

Frits (5 months+)
Quote
Like
Share