How do you handle being with smokers?

L A
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:17

08 Oct 2000, 16:38 #11

You think that stinks, try sniffing plumbers that smoke, Ack,Ack.Image
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elec7
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:01

10 Oct 2000, 01:48 #12

Great question well I never realized how bad smokers smelled having smoked for 46 years. Iam really embarrassed to think that I put other people through that. When I smell a cigarette the last thing I want to do is smoke. It reminds me of all the coughing, hacking and wheezing I used to do everyday. No thank you I think I will just keep things the way they are and never puff again...Ed

After 46 years proud to be nicotine free for One month, three weeks, two days, 13 hours, 50 minutes and 41 seconds. 1364 cigarettes not smoked, saving $311.77. Life saved: 4 days, 17 hours, 40 minutes.
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Prettygirl
Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 20:49

10 Oct 2000, 07:56 #13

Interesting thoughts from everyone. I'm a very new non-smoker (four days) and my boyfriend smokes a pack a day. I'd always used him as an excuse why I couldn't give up. But now I realise that it doesn't really matter what he does; it's MY body I'm responsible for. And if I have a strong enough "want" to be healthy and smoke-free, not even him lighting up and blowing smoke in my face is going to sway me to have one.
I think that "want" is strong enough this time. He smoked in the car on the way to the city the other day and I had to wind my window down all the way - not because it made me want one, but because it made me sick.
Now he's started cutting down too - writing down on his packet how many he's had and trying to "beat" his previous day's tally by lowering the score. I'm so proud of him. But it took me to set the ball rolling. A good example is really worth a thousand hours of nagging!

PS. Girls.... I find what helps me when I'm out drinking (granted, it's only been once!), is seeing all the pretty non-smokers around and thinking you're one of them now. You're much more attractive without a butt hanging from your lips.
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Dionne (gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

21 Oct 2000, 06:53 #14

With a still smoking husband I'm getting used to being around tobacco. It does not make me want to smoke as I know I can never have another puff. Once you make that determination, the rest seems easy. Joel and the rest of you have beat me over the head with that statement and I believe it so it's a no- brainer. Let the world smoke around me, I won't be joining in. (I would not want to go through the last 12 days again. It's starting to be real easy and down right pleasant to be a non-smoker) All you new beginners, press on to victory and Zeb's motto,
breathe deep, hug hard, and live long. (I'm not sure I got that right but you get the picture!
Hugs to you all,
" I'll never take another puff Dionne"

One week, five days, 15 hours, 52 minutes and 1 second. 126 cigarettes not smoked, saving $18.99. Life saved: 10 hours, 30 minutes.
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

24 Nov 2000, 06:09 #15

Image A last minute reminder for those about to partake in Thanksgiving get together's. Zep, I know you brought this up yesterday with a graphic that was pretty large and pushed some of the early posts off so I took it out. Sorry about that but I wanted everyone to get the entire message of this important post. I'm off to dinner. Everone check in later and let us know how it went. Joel
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John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

24 Nov 2000, 10:46 #16

Thanks Joel. What strikes me from the responses is how many of our family members are standing up in the face of loved ones who smoke and are simply saying "it's over! I'll never take another puff!" Wow! That's powerful! In my mind, folks who quit while having spouses that smoke, like Nora and Deb, are very strong willed people who can probably achieve any goal to which they put their minds. Next to them, I feel like I cheated Image

The second thing that strikes me is how quickly we change or view of smokers. I know that we don't like the smell but I pray that we never forget that we were once them. Bolko, what you're doing is awesome!!! You're a teacher, just like most of us! As much as they smell, our brother and sister smokers need our warm hugs! Bolko's quit week fingers are loving hugs reaching out with the promise of a better tomorrow, and I'm sure inside they're loving it. As smokers, we hated being preached to. We knew that we were addicts and the last thing we wanted was someone telling us to do something that we ourselves didn't think possible - quitting!

Bolko isn't telling his co-workers to quit, he's showing them how to quit! Carroll, my bestest old bar buddy, emailed me two days ago and said, "John! Where are you?? The guys are all wondering if you're ok!!!" I have not gone into my old pub (or had a drink for that matter - my new health kick Image) since May 15, 2000, the first anniversary of my Quit. I emailed Carroll back and told him that I was just fine and that he could either come by the house or visit me at Freedom via WhyQuit.Com. I'm still hoping a few of the guys drift in here but most are much older than I. I think that some gave up all hope of ever quitting many many years ago. I wish I knew how to reach them. I'm working on it Image
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R b rt
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

24 Nov 2000, 11:43 #17

Hey ZEP ... yes I had a close call today (as in thread CAUGHT OFF GUARD!), but you know - I feel stronger after that ...

It was really close ... you know the ol "...aw - just one!" thinking ...

But I thought about Freedom, I thought about the stuff I have read ... I thought about my quit meter ... I thought about all the friends I have here and - HOW COULD I EVER COME BACK HERE if I smoked!?!
( I would have to go back behind ED and his elephants in the parade!!!) LOL
But truly, I thought about all that ... and as I talked to my niece about you all ... I felt better ... I am going to send her Freedom's link and hope I can dump a watermelon on HER head as she reaches her milestones!

Image okay?

However, I do feel stronger from this experience ... and I "KNOW" I will encounter more in my new smokefree life ... but I am better prepared! I can see what you mean when you say that complacency has no place in a QUIT!!!

Okay --- I am off my soapbox ... goodnight!
- robert -
STILL SMOKEFREE ...
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laguna
Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 20:48

24 Nov 2000, 13:24 #18

When I was a smoker I hated being treated as trash, because I am not! Smoking may be a weakness but I never felt like a second class person just because I smoked. I smoked and enjoyed it, it was my body, my decision. I am 44 years old and in my whole life I seriously decided to quit only once, (other than a stupid effort last year, with a pack of Marlboro in my pocket for emergencies, naturally that quit lasted in 3 days!) , I quit 12 weeks ago and I am still quit. I believe quitting is in one's mind. Just because we quit we cannot expect the world to whirl around us. Yes it would be a perfect world if noone smoked, and yes, if we all keep trying we may help a lot of people quit, but for me, my friendships are too valuable to ruin just because of a cigarette. I have friends who are smokers and non-smokers. They all have a special place in my heart and this will never change just because they smoke. Quitting was my own decision and I cannot hold anyone responsible for my actions. I faced the reality from the first day on, learned to live in this world in peace both with smokers and non-smokers.

I never stopped seeing my friends who smoke. Some of them chose not to smoke beside me, some smoke like chimneys, but I have kept my quit. If we want to succeed, we simply do. If we are looking for excuses to go back, we can find many excuses. I may be sounding too tough but my motto is 'just don't smoke' and I am determined to stick to it.

I am hoping that friends who smoke will quit seeing me stay quit. I was a chainsmoker for 25 years. They all know that of I could do it they can too. Three of them already told me they are thinking of setting a date to quit. If I can have a positive effect on them I will be happy.

I wish you all a happy life with lost of friends :) Happy Thanksgiving!
laguna
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Jelly
Joined: 12 Jan 2009, 22:20

24 Nov 2000, 16:28 #19

Ahhhh, hubby is a heavy smoker, work has a smoking section, friends that smoke, sisters that smoke. Many many times, for years, I did not make a serious attempt at a quit, becuae it just seemed to impossible. Finally, while I was at the dr with my 17 year old daughter, who had ANOTHER sore throat, I decided to talk to dr. about zyban. Now I still have a lot of trouble seeing people smoke. On days that my husband and I are both home, I spend a lot of time in the smoke free (or as much as possible) computer/sewing room. I have trouble seeing the ash tray and as soon as he goes to bed I empty it and then dump water over it. Today....of all days, I am so thankful that I do NOT smoke....... a one hour drive in a truck with a hubby and 3 cigarettes was a test, and I was prepared, with 4 bottles of ice water, and I passed. At his moms, hubby would go outside for smokes, we had done this the past two years.When he came back in the house, he would walk through the kitchen, down the hall to put coat away, back through hall, into livingroom.....and past me to get to the chair.........I really could have been slapped in the face by an angry grizzly bear and it would have not hit me any harder than the smell when my hubby went by. Dang....and to think that was me for 30 years. NEVER never again! Shelly day 3
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Sheila
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:13

24 Nov 2000, 21:36 #20

Iaguna,

Thankyou so much I really needed to hear your response to this question. So many ex-smokers seem to be discarding friends as if they were cigarettes Image that could never work for me I value people too highly to discard them. There were many non and ex-smokers who loved and accepted me for years (my husband to name one very important one). I smoked in peoples houses, I smoked in peoples faces and cars and... etc. etc....I'm not going to pretend I didn't and at the time I had no choice I was a slave to my addiction and that was priority number one. I know someone is going to respond that maybe if my loved ones hadn't been so accepting and forgiving I may have quit sooner but I know I wouldn't have. First this addiction is too strong to have been ordered away by anyone and second, that is when I was in the avoiding people mode, friends or family members who I knew were going to hassle me about smoking were the ones I (or should I say my addiction) avoided.
My smoking is my responsibility, my friends are my friends for reasons that have nothing whatsoever with cigarettes. The best I can do for them and myself is take responsibility, love them, understand their trap, and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!!!

Sheila
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