How do you handle being with smokers?

L A
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:17

08 Oct 2000, 16:38 #11

You think that stinks, try sniffing plumbers that smoke, Ack,Ack.
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:01

10 Oct 2000, 01:48 #12

Great question well I never realized how bad smokers smelled having smoked for 46 years. Iam really embarrassed to think that I put other people through that. When I smell a cigarette the last thing I want to do is smoke. It reminds me of all the coughing, hacking and wheezing I used to do everyday. No thank you I think I will just keep things the way they are and never puff again...Ed

After 46 years proud to be nicotine free for One month, three weeks, two days, 13 hours, 50 minutes and 41 seconds. 1364 cigarettes not smoked, saving $311.77. Life saved: 4 days, 17 hours, 40 minutes.
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Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 20:49

10 Oct 2000, 07:56 #13

Interesting thoughts from everyone. I'm a very new non-smoker (four days) and my boyfriend smokes a pack a day. I'd always used him as an excuse why I couldn't give up. But now I realise that it doesn't really matter what he does; it's MY body I'm responsible for. And if I have a strong enough "want" to be healthy and smoke-free, not even him lighting up and blowing smoke in my face is going to sway me to have one.
I think that "want" is strong enough this time. He smoked in the car on the way to the city the other day and I had to wind my window down all the way - not because it made me want one, but because it made me sick.
Now he's started cutting down too - writing down on his packet how many he's had and trying to "beat" his previous day's tally by lowering the score. I'm so proud of him. But it took me to set the ball rolling. A good example is really worth a thousand hours of nagging!

PS. Girls.... I find what helps me when I'm out drinking (granted, it's only been once!), is seeing all the pretty non-smokers around and thinking you're one of them now. You're much more attractive without a butt hanging from your lips.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

21 Oct 2000, 06:53 #14

With a still smoking husband I'm getting used to being around tobacco. It does not make me want to smoke as I know I can never have another puff. Once you make that determination, the rest seems easy. Joel and the rest of you have beat me over the head with that statement and I believe it so it's a no- brainer. Let the world smoke around me, I won't be joining in. (I would not want to go through the last 12 days again. It's starting to be real easy and down right pleasant to be a non-smoker) All you new beginners, press on to victory and Zeb's motto,
breathe deep, hug hard, and live long. (I'm not sure I got that right but you get the picture!
Hugs to you all,
" I'll never take another puff Dionne"

One week, five days, 15 hours, 52 minutes and 1 second. 126 cigarettes not smoked, saving $18.99. Life saved: 10 hours, 30 minutes.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

24 Nov 2000, 06:09 #15

A last minute reminder for those about to partake in Thanksgiving get together's. Zep, I know you brought this up yesterday with a graphic that was pretty large and pushed some of the early posts off so I took it out. Sorry about that but I wanted everyone to get the entire message of this important post. I'm off to dinner. Everone check in later and let us know how it went. Joel
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

24 Nov 2000, 10:46 #16

Thanks Joel. What strikes me from the responses is how many of our family members are standing up in the face of loved ones who smoke and are simply saying "it's over! I'll never take another puff!" Wow! That's powerful! In my mind, folks who quit while having spouses that smoke, like Nora and Deb, are very strong willed people who can probably achieve any goal to which they put their minds. Next to them, I feel like I cheated

The second thing that strikes me is how quickly we change or view of smokers. I know that we don't like the smell but I pray that we never forget that we were once them. Bolko, what you're doing is awesome!!! You're a teacher, just like most of us! As much as they smell, our brother and sister smokers need our warm hugs! Bolko's quit week fingers are loving hugs reaching out with the promise of a better tomorrow, and I'm sure inside they're loving it. As smokers, we hated being preached to. We knew that we were addicts and the last thing we wanted was someone telling us to do something that we ourselves didn't think possible - quitting!

Bolko isn't telling his co-workers to quit, he's showing them how to quit! Carroll, my bestest old bar buddy, emailed me two days ago and said, "John! Where are you?? The guys are all wondering if you're ok!!!" I have not gone into my old pub (or had a drink for that matter - my new health kick ) since May 15, 2000, the first anniversary of my Quit. I emailed Carroll back and told him that I was just fine and that he could either come by the house or visit me at Freedom via WhyQuit.Com. I'm still hoping a few of the guys drift in here but most are much older than I. I think that some gave up all hope of ever quitting many many years ago. I wish I knew how to reach them. I'm working on it
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

24 Nov 2000, 11:43 #17

Hey ZEP ... yes I had a close call today (as in thread CAUGHT OFF GUARD!), but you know - I feel stronger after that ...

It was really close ... you know the ol "...aw - just one!" thinking ...

But I thought about Freedom, I thought about the stuff I have read ... I thought about my quit meter ... I thought about all the friends I have here and - HOW COULD I EVER COME BACK HERE if I smoked!?!
( I would have to go back behind ED and his elephants in the parade!!!) LOL
But truly, I thought about all that ... and as I talked to my niece about you all ... I felt better ... I am going to send her Freedom's link and hope I can dump a watermelon on HER head as she reaches her milestones!

okay?

However, I do feel stronger from this experience ... and I "KNOW" I will encounter more in my new smokefree life ... but I am better prepared! I can see what you mean when you say that complacency has no place in a QUIT!!!

Okay --- I am off my soapbox ... goodnight!
- robert -
STILL SMOKEFREE ...
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Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 20:48

24 Nov 2000, 13:24 #18

When I was a smoker I hated being treated as trash, because I am not! Smoking may be a weakness but I never felt like a second class person just because I smoked. I smoked and enjoyed it, it was my body, my decision. I am 44 years old and in my whole life I seriously decided to quit only once, (other than a stupid effort last year, with a pack of Marlboro in my pocket for emergencies, naturally that quit lasted in 3 days!) , I quit 12 weeks ago and I am still quit. I believe quitting is in one's mind. Just because we quit we cannot expect the world to whirl around us. Yes it would be a perfect world if noone smoked, and yes, if we all keep trying we may help a lot of people quit, but for me, my friendships are too valuable to ruin just because of a cigarette. I have friends who are smokers and non-smokers. They all have a special place in my heart and this will never change just because they smoke. Quitting was my own decision and I cannot hold anyone responsible for my actions. I faced the reality from the first day on, learned to live in this world in peace both with smokers and non-smokers.

I never stopped seeing my friends who smoke. Some of them chose not to smoke beside me, some smoke like chimneys, but I have kept my quit. If we want to succeed, we simply do. If we are looking for excuses to go back, we can find many excuses. I may be sounding too tough but my motto is 'just don't smoke' and I am determined to stick to it.

I am hoping that friends who smoke will quit seeing me stay quit. I was a chainsmoker for 25 years. They all know that of I could do it they can too. Three of them already told me they are thinking of setting a date to quit. If I can have a positive effect on them I will be happy.

I wish you all a happy life with lost of friends :) Happy Thanksgiving!
laguna
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Joined: 12 Jan 2009, 22:20

24 Nov 2000, 16:28 #19

Ahhhh, hubby is a heavy smoker, work has a smoking section, friends that smoke, sisters that smoke. Many many times, for years, I did not make a serious attempt at a quit, becuae it just seemed to impossible. Finally, while I was at the dr with my 17 year old daughter, who had ANOTHER sore throat, I decided to talk to dr. about zyban. Now I still have a lot of trouble seeing people smoke. On days that my husband and I are both home, I spend a lot of time in the smoke free (or as much as possible) computer/sewing room. I have trouble seeing the ash tray and as soon as he goes to bed I empty it and then dump water over it. Today....of all days, I am so thankful that I do NOT smoke....... a one hour drive in a truck with a hubby and 3 cigarettes was a test, and I was prepared, with 4 bottles of ice water, and I passed. At his moms, hubby would go outside for smokes, we had done this the past two years.When he came back in the house, he would walk through the kitchen, down the hall to put coat away, back through hall, into livingroom.....and past me to get to the chair.........I really could have been slapped in the face by an angry grizzly bear and it would have not hit me any harder than the smell when my hubby went by. Dang....and to think that was me for 30 years. NEVER never again! Shelly day 3
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:13

24 Nov 2000, 21:36 #20

Iaguna,

Thankyou so much I really needed to hear your response to this question. So many ex-smokers seem to be discarding friends as if they were cigarettes that could never work for me I value people too highly to discard them. There were many non and ex-smokers who loved and accepted me for years (my husband to name one very important one). I smoked in peoples houses, I smoked in peoples faces and cars and... etc. etc....I'm not going to pretend I didn't and at the time I had no choice I was a slave to my addiction and that was priority number one. I know someone is going to respond that maybe if my loved ones hadn't been so accepting and forgiving I may have quit sooner but I know I wouldn't have. First this addiction is too strong to have been ordered away by anyone and second, that is when I was in the avoiding people mode, friends or family members who I knew were going to hassle me about smoking were the ones I (or should I say my addiction) avoided.
My smoking is my responsibility, my friends are my friends for reasons that have nothing whatsoever with cigarettes. The best I can do for them and myself is take responsibility, love them, understand their trap, and NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!!!

Sheila
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

22 Dec 2000, 21:21 #21

Since Linda brought up my posts for the morning I thought I would bring up other peoples. More important, because of the holiday get togethers that many of us will soon be experiencing, getting together with specific people who we may not have seen since first quitting, many new triggers may be abound. So be psyched up everybody. Remember, you don't want to be a smoker no matter how much you may think a cigarette would seem good or just seem right at the moment. That is the key, the thought is of the moment, the result could be a relapse followed by a lifetime of smoking, albiet a shorter lifetime. If you base your decision on the long-term implications and I am sure the decision will be to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

30 Dec 2000, 04:09 #22

Thank you, that was a badly needed one. Very.
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Deb
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:03

30 Dec 2000, 13:08 #23

Zep,
Thank-you for posting this. I have been thinking about this very issue. And was touched that you feel I could handle anything. Well I try my best. Any way I know that I am strong in my quit. I have no doult that the issue is settled. I'm an addict but have found Freedom and plan on holding onto it with every thing that is with in me. I share this because I don't want you to think I'm in trouble. But I've been dealing with thought. Otherwise known as "stinkin thinkin." or "junkie thinking". Either way it's no fun. Let me explain. It isn't always easy to be around or leaving with some one who smokes when you've quit. The triggers I use to have, have lessened in number and severity. I'm much stronger and ready to go on-line and encourage anyone I can. But what makes me feel bad is the guilt I feel when I have a thought about a killerette. I know the thought caused me to give up on my quit but I feel like I have lost something. Anyway, after the thought I just get busy doing something else and the thought goes away. I guess my question is, is this normal? And if so how long before it goes away? I've read some who so they no longer have any thought about killerettes. To them they are a foreign subject. It's like having a mind of child that has never hear of a cigerette much less what one looked like or what to do with it. Is it really possible to get to this point. Or could my constant surroudings of my husband habit be effecting me to some how to not recievce total Freedom? I also want you to know that I know a thought c an't hurt you but what can is what you do with the thought.
Awaitting your answer.
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:30

30 Dec 2000, 17:24 #24

I am fortunate or rather unfortunate (not sure), but since day one I have been surrounded by smokers at my work place. Now I don't even think when people smoke around me, sadly it is the norm here in Hong kong I just try to avoid as much second hand smoke as I can.

One thing very inportant although is too see the other side of smoking, this you can do when you are surrounded by smokers, their coughing, their poor health and lack of energy, to see them now still lighting up and knowing that each and every one of them would really like to quit, this just reinforces my determination to stay quit.

John
Four months, two weeks, four days, 14 hours, 23 minutes and 49 seconds. 2811 cigarettes not smoked, saving $4,217.98. Life saved: 1 week, 2 days, 18 hours, 15 minutes.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

30 Dec 2000, 21:08 #25

Hello Deb:

I wrote a reply to you under the string "The Urge Hits." I think it addresses your issue. It sounds like you feel guilty that you still get the thought for cigarettes. Don't let that discourage you and don't feel guilty about them either. We our all human, we can't always control our thoughts, what is important is that we control our actions. This is true in all walks of life, but in addiction it has literal life and death ramifications. Anyway, read my post to you and the original article under the string mentioned above.

Joel
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

02 Jan 2001, 08:58 #26

For Bugs
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

31 Mar 2001, 21:33 #27

Let the healing continue
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

02 Apr 2001, 08:17 #28

When I'm with a smoker I think of people I loved that I watched die because they smoked. I refuse to do that to my children or myself. Sometimes now I leave and just cry, I go into the feeling all the way, I will never take another puff. Yes I do say things to people that smoke, and no I am not gentle In fact maybe I drive them nuts. I am going to make up some cards that say, when you are ready for freedom please go to whyquit.com. Then I won't have to say so much. I can bite my tongue, and pray they come here. Thats my 2 cents worth.
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

02 Apr 2001, 11:16 #29

Hey Phoenix - I love the idea about the cards!!

"When you are ready for Freedom....... you can try whyquit.com"

It would save me going into (what people think is) a lecture - the minute you start talking about smoking! That's how I used to think anyway.. I'd just switch off because I knew (??!!) I couldn't stop!!
(Amazing what some honest education and support can do!!)

Since I've Quit, I've got into saying.... "well you can go to this website/ you don't have to stop straight away/you can just read..... and when you're ready ...... etcetcetc" It all seemed a bit longwinded...when next time someone asks me how I stopped smoking.... I could just give them a card!! And a !
Then it's up to them!!

For someone who has been through some tuff times Phoenix - you are full of great ideas! Must be making you stronger!! Hopefully me too!!

Actually I could really get creative here..... How about:
"When you are ready for Freedom.......
you can try whyquit.com"

on one side, and
"NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF!!"




I better stop!!
yqs Maz
Two months, one week, five days, 14 hours, 15 minutes and 4 seconds of FREEDOM!!
1789 cigarettes not smoked, saving $572.75. Life saved: 6 days, 5 hours, 5 minutes.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

21 Apr 2001, 11:02 #30

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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

21 Apr 2001, 11:39 #31

Thanks Zep,
After reading this thread I have decided that I'm too new at my quit to have the strength or experience with the craves to sit on break with my friends who smoke. With all my other quits, I relasped while on break with those said friends. I don't want to be tempted before I'm ready for it. I'll wait..
Thanks Again..
Kim (SewQuilts)
5days, 23hours, 53mins 10sec. since I used nicotine..
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

21 Apr 2001, 11:54 #32

You know what's best for you Kim. Trust your judgment !! Just don't wait too long and when you do, don't stay but a few minutes or until your triggered crave arrives and then do what I did a couple of times (run like h_ll). I'm embarassed to admit that I waited 22 months before touching my first cigarette. I wouldn't even pick up cigarette butts that folks had thrown in the street, it was terrible. Talk about a phobia! I knew that some day I'd have to but I put it off far longer than I should have. There is nothing that you need to give up but your nicotine, absolutely nothing!
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Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:00

21 Apr 2001, 12:27 #33

At 3 month's of freedom, I should be stronger about this subject, but I still do not want to be around smokers for fear of relapse & also because I have had enough of the poision - nicotine. I have failed in my previous attempts because I thought that I could handle being around smokers - THAT WAS A BIG MISTAKE - this time I go by the laws of addiction - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF & right now I avoid all smoking situations - Hannes @ 3m of fresh air freedom. NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF & TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

21 Apr 2001, 12:40 #34

You sound like me Hannes! I don't go in the pub at the end of the day with the guys anymore but only because I've punished these lungs for far to long to ask them to endure the cloud of second-hand smoke that lives inside. I spoke with one of the guys at length by phone today and I tried explaining but I really don't think he understands. I promised to drop in once next week but I already know that I won't be staying long. I love them to death but I'm putting my air first. Hopefully they'll drop by and we can spend time together away from the cloud.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

01 Jun 2001, 22:16 #35

Zep's average encounter with a smoker:
"Do you want to quit? You do!"
"Do you have access to a computer? You do! Great!"
"Can you remember www.whyquit.com?"
"Yes, why quit, it's just one word with no space in between."
Last edited by John (Gold) on 05 Dec 2011, 09:43, edited 1 time in total.
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