“How can I get my family and friends to quit smoking?”

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

15 May 2001, 19:16 #11

I see the topic of helping to influence others to quit has come up a few times over the past few days. Just wanted to make sure that people who are currently wrestling with how to approach this issue have read this. Again, the best way to help others is to prove to them that it is possible to quit and be happy as an ex-smoker. The way to do this is to smile a lot and show by example that you up to this point have been able to pull off what they one believed was an impossible and an amazing feat for you--your ability to quit smoking and never take another puff!

Joel
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Keilit (Gold )
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

15 May 2001, 21:02 #12

Joel-
Thank you for putting this up. My step-father smokes, and everytime I see him go out for a smoke it makes me want to yell at him. He's 60 and has been smoking since he was 14.
Secondly I'm printing out the story about the lady with the circulation problems. If I'm ever tempted to give in to the nicodemon's lies I'm going to read that first. No way I could ever smoke after that. I almost lost my leg seven years ago due to an accident. So the story has extra meaning for me. Thank you.
Keilit
1 week, 5 days, 10 hours, 58 minutes, 55 seconds
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

17 Jun 2001, 19:07 #13

Since we are at one of those days where we take a little time out to recognize and appreciate our father's, I thought I would bring this one up. First, if your father still smokes, let him know you will be behind him when he is ready to quit. Maybe pass along some of the materials that had the most pronounced impact on your quit.

More importantly, if you are a father, recognize the example that you are now setting for your children. Share with them your lifetime experience in regards to tobacco. How you took it up never really recognizing the addictive nature, how you lost control, how you likeley got to the point where you desperately wanted to quit, how you quit and how you must now always keep your guard up to stay off. Make them realize that you never take your quit for granted. Hopefully the message will pass down.

If you lost a father to a smoking related disease, recognize the sadness you and many of your closest family and friends experienced and are still feeling on days such as today and recognize that you never want to put your loved ones through a similar situation.

Your parents gave you life, but you are the only one now who can make decisions that effect the real quality and in regard to smoking, the probable duration of your life. To live longer and to be able to share your life and time with others for longer always remember to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

27 Jun 2001, 18:50 #14

Image
I am not sure everyone can read the caption on this one. It reads: "Why is it you never ask me to stop smoking." If you look on the wife's face you get the full understanding that she doesn't care for her husband one bit and is basically looking forward to his early demise.
While you can't pester a person into quitting, you should always make it clear that you do want them to quit for their own health and make sure that they understand that you will be ready and very happy to help them when they are ready to quit. If they do not have Internet access feel free to print any of the materials out you find here at Freedom.
If they do have access, encourage them to come to Freedom. It is not even important that they join in, just reading will be of great value. Either way, an active member or an active lurker, the understanding they will get will help them in strengthening their resolve to quit and in understanding what they must do to quit. And we will try to drive home the most important point of all for everyone here, to understand that to stay smoke free they must never take another puff!
Joel
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

30 Jul 2001, 19:09 #15

For Triin:

Congratulations on influencing your mother and starting to influence your friends. The best chance everyone here has of influencing others is just by setting the example you are setting, not smoking and smiling every now and then. You are showing people that there is life after smoking.

They will often seek you out when the time comes that they are ready to try. Then you can teach more specific lessons. The main one is help every smoker wanting to quit understand the nicotine addiction. They need to know that they are not fighting a pack, or a carton, or a million cigarettes--they are fighting a puff! This concept more than any other is going to be the make or break point for any ex-smoker.

If they have computer access get them here to read the quitting material and especially the relapse material. If not print out what you can and share it with them. Don't assume they know what is now common sense to you, there is a tremendous amount of misunderstanding of the nicotine addiction. Make sure that all ex-smokers, whether they be off decades or days understand the simple premise that to stay smoke free they must never take another puff!

Joel
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

06 Aug 2001, 01:27 #16

For Threecrows and the positive influence she has already had on her friends. Hopefully many of you will have such impact on your family and friends. The best way to help others is just by continuing to do what you have done so far to help yourself--proving that it is possible to successfully quit smoking and to stay free from nicotine. The way you are proving this is by sticking to your personal commitment to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

24 Dec 2001, 03:39 #17

I was going to bring this up just for Maggie but realized this can be especially important for the holidays. If you have any friends or family members who still smoke who may think that they cannot quit, offer to give them any support, advice, understanding or help that they should want if they ever decide to quit. You can't push a quit on to them, but you can offer to be there for them when they are ready. The only thing you need to give them from this point on to help maybe motivate them a point of readiness is your example of success--which you will always supply in abundance as long as you always remember for your own sake to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

16 Feb 2002, 22:45 #18

In the 18th and 19th posts in the string Quitting smoking: A Fate Worse than Death?, Ingrid and Dent reflected on how smokers are in such disbelief to when another person quits smoking and actually seems comfortable about it. Everyone here has the potential of really influencing others to quit. It is not by pestering, begging, pleading, lecturing or belittling other smokers. It is simply by setting the example that there is life after smoking. By not smoking and smiling every now and then it starts to make others aware that quitting is possible. This fact is a major revelation for some people who think that quitting is impossible.

Everyone who has spend time studying here should realize that they have a deeper understanding of nicotine addiction, its causes, its implications, and its treatment than most other people you know. Share your understanding whenever you are sought out for advice. And over time you will be sought out, if you just continue to set the example.

When people ask you how you did it--tell them. When they ask you if you smoke occasionally or have ever had "just one," explain to them that the only reason that you are still an ex-smoker is now you understand there is no such thing as "just one." This is not preaching or an unsolicited response--they asked you the question. Just know by the simple fact that they asked that question they don't understand the nicotine addiction. Teach them what you know--that there is no such thing as "one" and that once they accept that fact--they can quit smoking and be armed with the ammunition to stay off. Help them understand that a successful and eventually comfortable smoke free life is no more magical or mystical than knowing now to never take another puff!

Joel
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Smallfry (Green)
Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 23:41

24 Sep 2002, 22:08 #19

I used to wonder this same thing - "How can I get my husband to quit smoking?" - but I realize now that the best thing I can do for him, is nothing. It does no good to preach, or even to talk directly to him about it - it actually makes him want a cigarette even more. Occassionally I am able to slip into conversation some little tidbit that I've read here at Freedom - sometimes he will talk a little about it, other times he just ignores it! Several of our friends have also quit in the past few months, and it is making an impact on him. At the wedding reception we attended on Saturday night, he was the only smoker at our table! Last night, he came home from the neighbors house and said that he's beginning to feel like an outsider now, since hardly any of our friends smoke anymore. I wanted to say so much, but felt it was best to keep quiet and let him think about that.
I think he's finally accepted that my quit is real this time, and has actually commented on how well I'm doing. He still smokes in the house and the car, but does remove his ashtray and knows better than to ask me to pick cigarettes up at the store for him!

Sue
7 weeks & 4 days smoke free!!!Image
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

06 Feb 2003, 21:34 #20

I saw a number of posts yesterday pointing to the fact that there are times where people around you will offer up some pretty negative comments or reactions to the news that you have quit. I saw a number of posts raised about these negative reactions trying to help our members and readers understand why they occur. I just thought that I should bring up this one too, for while you may not be able to change the people who are offering negative support, you may over time find yourself in the situation where you can offer positive support to othes.

I don't know if the people who say or do basically cruel or thoughtless things designed to undercut a person quitting can walk around the rest of the day feeling good or proud of their efforts. But I do know that if you can help another person in securing his or her quit you can yourself feel a certain sense of accomplishment that particular day. The most important message you can get out to others is that quitting is possible and staying off is totally doable as long as you always remember to never take another puff!

Joel
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