Have you noticed some of these "lost" long-term quits?

starla (GOLD)
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

20 Oct 2000, 23:28 #21

i too know all too well the brutal truth that we are all a hair's breath away from relapse-it takes just one single puff and all our work is totally obliterated. i remember i stopped for 2 years when i was pregannt and breastfeeding my children. the day i stopped breastfeeding, i lit up one. for a while that was fine-my husband would nag at me and i would say 'its only one cigarette,what harm can that do?" pretty soon it was 3 a day, then a 10 a day. i thought i was healthy as long as i smoked under 10 a day, well years later i was up to 2 1/2 packs (or50 cigarettes a day at one point) isnt it scary how easily our bodies can fall right back into that enslavement??? it frightens me to know that if i just picked one up and lit it- my quit would be literally up in smoke! theres no such thing as just one puff-its all or nothing. i look at it as a long term choice. when i am wanting one i will tell myself "will this be something i am proud of months from now? will this further my goals in life"? obviously NOT.

thank you for this life affirming, enlightening, and much needed post.

starla smoke free for One month, three days, 14 hours, 23 minutes and 35 seconds. 1175 cigarettes not smoked, saving $158.76. Life saved: 4 days, 1 hour, 55 minutes.
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Aphrodite
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:26

07 Nov 2000, 14:19 #22

Image Truth, thanks again Joel.
Today I will not smoke
I have fought and won another day against the nicodemon
Freedom is mine
Six months, four weeks, 11 hours, 13 minutes and 25 seconds. 5286 cigarettes not smoked, saving $925.17. Life saved: 2 weeks, 4 days, 8 hours, 30 minutes.
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

26 Nov 2000, 19:24 #23

Image For everyone, nicotine free or not. It is so much better to learn from other people's relapses than from having to learn from your own.
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Sheila
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:13

27 Nov 2000, 00:18 #24

This topic is sooo important. I was one of those people who has gone back to smoking after long quits... once after a full year!! This was my thought process and it is a very dangerous one: I was at an annual camp that I had never been to as a non-smoker (big trigger!!) and thought "Oh well, obviously if I quit successfully a year ago I will just quit again on Monday when I go home, I did it before so I can do it again." Well, obviously not because I am here and there have been thousands of cigarettes smoked between that day and this!!. I just pray that I have gotten here on time...that the damage done is not killing me as we speak.. Joel is so right when he says that not every quit is the same. Right now, the scariest thing to me is that not every quit is possible...or in time...or even ever attempted. I am very lucky to be here. And because quitting is not always an option... NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF

Sheila
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Christiana
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:13

27 Nov 2000, 00:26 #25

ImageYou sound like you have a great appreciation for your quit this time Shiela, i think that is what is meant SOMETIMES when a long time quitter relapses. You appear to be becoming one of the lucky ones. God Bless You!! Guard your quit with your life!! Why? Cause it is. YQS with care and concern Christiana
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

29 Nov 2000, 21:31 #26

Hello Everyone:

Due to numerous circumstances I have been very limited on the amount of time I have at Freedom this week. I noticed a few people have relapsed and it may seem to some that they are dominating the board. This shifts the mood to the appearance that most people who are regulars here don't make it. Well the fact is that this has been a particularly bad few days here. Most days and even weeks we don't see any one relapsing let alone two or three people at once. We also have people jumping in saying they understand the relapse. I understand the relapse too, all too well in fact. Should the person feel better that now it is understood why they relapsed. That depends I guess. If the person is here to feel better about smoking, sure they should be quite relieved. If the person is here because they are trying to save their lives I don't think they should be getting much comfort in these well wishes.

I guess it is like someone standing on a ledge of a building. Do you want people standing on the ground giving them reasons not to jump or people hearing all the woes in the individual's life and saying, "Gosh, I understand what you are saying. I feel that way too. I guess if I were in your shoes I would jump too. Don't feel guilty though, we understand."

I don't want this statement to be read as a mockery of the people trying to help. I am trying to make an illustration here. It is obvious that the difference is if they jump they will die. But please understand, that if a person relapses and doesn't quit, they are likely to face the same fate, just time delayed. Yes if you saw a person on a ledge, you would try to use empathy. But the empathy would be in for form of explaining that you understand their plight but you disapprove of their current tactic to deal with it. There are better ways to resolve their problems than killing themselves. The same concepts hold true for taking a puff. You may understand the feelings the person had, you may have even felt them at some point. But you don't give into the feeling because the implication is smoking and that can lead to death.

I saw some responses here that there are other boards that are more accepting of relapse, in fact they see it as a normal and acceptable process. This is a very accurate statement and I do think that if anyone here feels we are too tough they should look at the other sites. I do believe the majority people who are here came to us because they are looking for a niche group, a kind of understanding and support that is not available elsewhere. If you are dead serious about quitting smoking I think you have found the right place to be and I hope you stay. But if our philosophy is too restricting, why try to change us. Trying to alter our premise is as unfair as our members going to other sites and trying to change them. We don't do it, we are very tolerant of the other sites and understand that some people will be happier there. But deep down we are not very hopeful that they will be more successful there.

I do know for a fact that we have a few members who actively participate at other sites. I also know that they got quite burned when they tried to espouse our logic at these other sites and I have personally advised them to limit their commentaries endorsing our logic at the other boards. They may want to reply here about how to coexist at more than one place at a time. But I feel everyone here should extend the same courtesy to our members that I asked them to give the other boards members.

Don't tie up the boards in how to quit controversies. Every entry level to out site says we are a cold turkey site, no nicotine replacement. With this statement as ubiquitous as it is, there is no reason to be debating it here. People are here now because of this disclaimer.

I am going to bring up a number of posts this morning addressing many of these issues. Again, please don't take these articles as personal slams, I am trying to make sure everyone understands are principles here. To be honest I almost don't want to bring up a lot of these situations at the moment because I don't have the ability to be posting follow-up discussions to issues raised. Please don't take my lack of response today as some kind of admission that I can't defend these stands. Other demands are taking time that I just can't dismiss at the moment. But our other managers and staff have a pretty good insight to our ways.

I did start a group last night, we had 30 people come. One was Bradley from Freedom. I always enjoy meeting people live who I met here first. Bradley is off for I think 4 months now and just came in for reinforcement. He currently has no computer access but said he would try to get here as soon as he is up and going again. He looked and sounded great. Also one man stopped by from a clinic 18 years ago who was off and jsut wanted to say hello. That is always great to see. Numerous people had quit for a year or longer and had relapsed, one lady was off for 20 years when she relapsed. That was 8 years ago and is still smoking up to yesterday.

I will try to get back later although I can't guarantee it. I hope everyone has a good day. It will be a much better day if everyone here walks away with the understanding that no matter what happens in your life, either issues of great happiness or sadness, importance or mediocrity, exhilaration of shear dullness, no matter what the circumstances the only way to sustain your quit is to never take another puff!

Joel
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nomadfaerie gold
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

24 Dec 2000, 14:57 #27

Just quickly:

It's just this kind of discussion that keeps me terrified of myself, or more accurately of my addiction. And I have to admit, I really am still addicted!!!

I don't ever want to go back. I sometimes dream that I do. I am afraid that I will.

I know this: I own myself. I decide what I do. I know what my weaknesses are. I know where I have been. I don't like where I have been!!!

I like who I am since I got rid of smoking. I don't want to lose that. I want to know what I can be when I lose all of the other **** in my life that does me no good!!!

In the meantime: I don't smoke.

And I really like it!!

nomad
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Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

28 Dec 2000, 22:04 #28

I am really happy to bring this one up today since it doesn't really apply to anything here today, actually hasn't for a while. But I thought with so many new members coming in it would be good to share this string, not just the original post, but the whole string with our new membership and our regular members alike for prophylatic purposes. Post 28 of this string I think was particulary important since I do think we have a number of new members coming in with past experieces at other sites and we do have certain unique features here at Freedom that I want everyone to understand. The other reason for bringing up this string at this time is we are approaching the new year holiday, one of the biggest days of the year for people quitting or relapsing. So having your guard and ammunition up no matter what side you are on, your first day quitting or your thousandh day off is crucial at this time of year. Actually it is crucial all year long, these next few days are just more obvious than most. Keep focused everyone. Never take another puff!

Joel
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Deb
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:03

01 Jan 2001, 13:20 #29

Joel,
If I remember correctly I was one of the ones that posted about relapsing after a long quit and listed the reasons why I felt I lost my quit. At at this point I see that it was due to being stubborn and most of all not quitting for myself. I relapsed after 10years and smoked for another I guess 15 years before making through to this quit. I had attemped a number of times due to the doctors telling me I needed to quit for my health. After all the attempts I made it waste untill I came to Freedom and decided that my quit had to be for myself. Which was a difficult decesion because I didn't like myself very well. But I did it, I made the decesion to quit.
I also know it was important for me to make a clean cut from the nicotin. If I was to quit it had to be cold turkey. If I would of used any other method I would of been only fooling myself. As long as the nicotin was there I was hooked. It's been and up hill fight for me. But I must say that the bravier I felt was awsome. The determination I had was outstanding. Yes there were little step backs but when they would happen I would be back on top determined for victory, and Freedom. This quit isn't going to be a long quit or a short quit for a relapse. I have found Freedom and I refuse to let it go. I breath easier, move easier, don't have to stop to take care of my nicotin addiction (fix). Saving more money ,even though I don't see it. But most important my lungs and other body parts are healing from the damage that was caused by the nicotin. Remember at the beginning of this I said I didn't like myself, well since quitting my self esteem
has soared like the eagles. I actually feel good about myself.Image,Image. This is even making me feel good. It hasn't been very long since I quit but I can already tell how and what I've benefited from quiting. What a blessing to see where I was and to see where I am now. Thank-you for helping me to realize the importance fo my quit. But also for showing me how easy it can become in our quits that we ease up and become vulnerable and loose what we fought so hard for. I have diffenently learned something about all of this. Your sword is used for fighting and it's important for and fighter to keep his eye on his enemy and keep his sword sharpen. For we don't know when the enemy will try to attack again. Please everyone keep your sword ready at all times.

Deb

I have been Quit for: 7M 1W 4D 22h 49m 49s. I have NOT smoked 9038, for a savings of $1,256.29. Life Saved: 1M 9h 10m.
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Butterflykisses
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:51

04 Jan 2001, 23:53 #30

Joel...thank you so much for posting this one...I am one of those that have went through long term quits..and then relapsed....I have quit 3 times before this one...each quit lasting from 9 months to a year (each one for a pregnancy)...somehow I thought this one would be different because it was for me...not a baby inside of me...thought I wouldn't have the urge after so long...this post reminds me, a relapse can happen at any time...and it's harder and harder to quit with each and every relapse...believe me I know.....

Thank you for reminding me...

THIS QUIT IS MINE!!!
~touch~
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