Good news, our members don't relapse anymore...

Golddabler1
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

24 Nov 2003, 09:12 #21

Imagethanks joel,bringing this one up shows me that this board mean business and they have teir eye on the ball

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

02 Dec 2003, 21:00 #22

I just deleted a post and ended the membership of a person who had joined a couple of months ago and lasted only eight days. The person has since quit again and is now 29 days into a quit. For that we are very happy and we hope that the person continues to read here and at WhyQuit.com and continues to find us a valuable resource. Unfortunately the person did not remember the relapse policy we have in place here at Freedom, for in the post the person wrote that he or she was not sure if the relapse would jeopardize his or her position in the group. We want this message to be clear and understood by all.

If a person takes a puff on a cigarette, or administers nicotine via any NRT source at any time after joining, that person did two things. First, the person through away that particular quit. This is something that he or she may be able to get back. The person may quit again immediately, or it may take days, months or maybe even years. What also may happen though is that the person may never get the strength, desire or opportunity to quit again. Smoking may go on to take the person's health and ultimately the person's life. This is not a rare and unlikely outcome. It happens to millions of people every year.

The second thing that is done when a person takes a puff or administers nicotine and lets us know about it is that they permanently lose posting privileges. While we can't predict if a person who relapses will ever quit again, we can predict that the person will not be able to post again. This is totally non-negotiable and non-debatable.

Again, as stated above, the primary benefactor of this policy is each and every member himself or herself. We have made it very easy for each and every member to have a clearly defined spelled out battle line. No longer does a person have the luxury of thinking, "Well if I relapse, I'll go to Freedom and quit again." We have in effect destroyed what to some people can be a very persuasive argument supporting a kind of junkie thinking.

For the majority of people here this policy poses no threat and makes the each and every members mission here that much more clearly defined. It was what their intent was the day they first signed up to Freedom. To stay a member of Freedom, and more important, to keep the health and life saving benefits of staying a successful ex-smoker is as simple now as just remembering to stay totally committed to never take another puff!

DlunyGOLD
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

02 Dec 2003, 22:16 #23

Thanks to Joel and all the managers for keeping the group grounded in its primary purpose!

I do get confused when I look at older posts that talk about relapsing. Thank you for making relapse "not an option" IF we want to stay a part of the group with posting privileges! It makes it much easier for me to stay focused on my goal which is to Never Take Another Puff!

David - Free and Healing for Twenty Five Days and 16 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 1 Day and 13 Hours 30 minutes, by avoiding the use of 450 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $33.79.

rebmiami green
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

03 Dec 2003, 00:40 #24

Nothing has hammered home to me the seriousness of really quitting as hard as the relapse policy on this board. It is as if I exchanged places with my addiction. I was behind bars wishing I were free and it was calling the shots. Now I have put it in the cage and I am free. It has probed every square inch of the cage for a loophole or an exception (and since it lives in my own mind, it got to use four years of legal education and five years of trial law experience to aid it in the search). Knowing that I don't get a hug and a mug if I relapse has taken away the "well you have gotten this far once, you can jump right on and do it again any time now" loophole.

Thank you.
Edson

45 days of Freedom after not using hundreds of nicotine delivery devices and saving scads of dollars.

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

06 Dec 2003, 20:03 #25

The primary benefactor of this policy is each and every member himself or herself. We have made it very easy for each and every member to have a clearly defined spelled out battle line. No longer does a person have the luxury of thinking, "Well if I relapse, I'll go to Freedom and quit again." We have in effect destroyed what to some people can be a very persuasive argument supporting a kind of junkie thinking.

For the majority of people here this policy poses no threat and makes the each and every members mission here that much more clearly defined. It was what their intent was the day they first signed up to Freedom. To stay a member of Freedom, and more important, to keep the health and life saving benefits of staying a successful ex-smoker is as simple now as just remembering to stay totally committed to never take another puff!

Michelle72482
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:01

07 Dec 2003, 17:23 #26

Image For Joel. You and the other management do such a great job....This is a great policy. It works!!!!

mctomandlynn
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

10 Dec 2003, 10:17 #27

I'll have to say that originally I thought this relapse policy too strict and almost cold. It almost makes one feel that if they relapse, what's the use of trying to quit again? Where will the support come from?

As I have gone further into my quit and have seen some discussion of other support groups with more lenient relapse policies I have been tempted to check them out. I haven't because, bottom line, I am afraid that in face of a real hard time someone will inadvertantly support a relapse. In other words, I have grown to understand the need for the "tough love" approach to this support group. Relapse is not OK. Besides, you are not turning them out completely, they can still benefit quite a bit from lurking (I did for about a month).

For what it's worth, I support the policy.

Toast (GOLD )
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

10 Dec 2003, 11:06 #28

As a person who has been a member long enough here to remember before this relapse policy was put in place, I'd like to share a few comments.

When this policy was put in place, I wasn't sure it was such a good idea. I admit I thought it might prove discouraging to some very sincere people. There were a few people on the boards before this policy who relapsed and then came back with a vengeance, and I certainly benefited from their presence and contributions. There were many before this policy who relapsed and didn't come back posting at all, and I'm certain that this was because of the strict and focused purpose of this board. Truly, it took a special breed of person to admit relapse here and humbly ask for help again.

As time has gone by, I've grown to accept and even find comfort in this policy. It is not exclusive, as I had feared at first. Anyone can read and learn here. And the only person who suffers from this policy suffers by their own actions, namely relapsing and losing membership.

Since this policy has gone in effect, I've had the opportunity to interact with a few folks who've since relapsed. I can tell you that you cannot predict who they will be either. When they joined and participated they were as hopeful and sincere and scared as the rest of us starting out. And they still deserve every resource to help them succeed in quitting smoking. Only here, as a requirement of membership, the first and lasting way we show our dedication to keeping out quits is by not actively using nicotine.

Everyone of us who posts and all the good folks who read here, member or not, can take away so very much valuable information! I challenge you to find a topic that has not been addressed, an experience that is not shared by at least one other person, an insight that does not support or further another person somehow.

But maybe Freedom isn't for everyone. Maybe the strictness and focus feels confining to some. Maybe some long for more social or personal interaction. No system, support or style is going to be everything to everyone. Luckily, there is a whole world beyond here to have these other needs addressed. I take was serves me from here, contribute hopefully in a meaningful way within the structure, and go on with my smoke-free life. A small matter for all the priceless education, support and honesty I've been blessed with here.

Freedom has given me the tools to live beyond my addiction! I can honor that by abiding by the rules. Image

Image Melissa
30 months

richard This is It GOLD
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

10 Dec 2003, 13:23 #29

I'm with Melissa....

This policy is harsh on the relapser.... or those harbouring thoughts of relapse.

But I know for a fact, it's very existence has prevented relapse of at least a large handful of members.

Along with Melissa, I've also "lost" some friends on here.... long time (gold) quitters who have relapsed - who know all the laws of addiction... and, even in the face of Melissa and I and others offering support outside of Freedom's confines..... are still under nicotine's control. I've also "welcomed back" a few (two I recall), who relapsed and quit again before the policy was in effect..... as Melissa says, a rare breed indeed (by the way... they're both now "GOLD").

If this policy, as it has shown often to do, prevents the early or seasoned quitter from taking that first puff...... it is wholly justified.

There are countless less serious quitting sites littering the internet....

I'm glad, especially after 21 months membership, that I stumbled across this one first.... (even if toast does come burnt or unbuttered from time to timeImage).... through it I KNOW I'll never take another puff...... and have no fear of this policy.











Oh, and did you know England won the world cupImage

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

10 Dec 2003, 20:02 #30

Richard is right, this site is going to be hard on a relapser. They are going to likely feel real bad that they lost their membership posting privileges . But lets face it, smoking is going to be much harder on them than we are. We can only take away their right to post--smoking over time is likely going to take away their right to breath and their right to live.


Melissa is right too, that we are not the right site for everyone. We are fully aware of that. There are sites where many smokers wanting to quit will feel much more comfortable. There are lots of other sites where people who are pretty sure that they won't be able to make their quit last will find themselves much more at home and much happier, at least in the short-term. The post

I Liked My Other Support Group More