Good news, our members don't relapse anymore...

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

13 Jul 2003, 06:36 #11

Hello Carolyn:

I think if you look at the responses that you are getting here, our members do not see their desire for Freedom as a game of semantics. In fact, being a member here is not a game at all. It is a commitment that hopefully each and every person who has applied for membership takes seriously.

I think you are missing what the title of this post means, that our members do not relapse anymore, only our ex-members do. It come down to defining what it means to be a member of Freedom? A member is a person who can post on our board. Thats it, the only perk or benefit that comes with membership is the ability to post on our board. Post a relapse and that benefit is gone.

We have plenty of non-posting readers at Freedom who are every bit as successful and every bit as welcome to access everything we have to offer information wise. Again, the only difference between a member and a non-member is the ability to post.

If a member posts that he or she has relapsed, he or she is no longer going to be a member. The post will be pulled, the membership of that person is going to be deleted, and this string is going to come up saying we have one less member that day because a person posted that he or she has relapsed. That person will no longer be a member of Freedom.

More important though is that person is no longer going to be free from nicotine. A person can lie to us and to the board but he or she can't lie to his or her own body. The person is now a relapsed smoker and had better be willing to accept the consequences that go with being a relapsed smoker. Because whether he or she wants to accept the consequences or not, he or she is going to have to live with the consequences, which means he or she is either going to some day have to go through withdrawal again in an attempt to break free or he or she is going to go through smoking again until it cripples or kills him or her. To avoid the consequences of relapse is still as simple as sticking to the commitment that you hopefully made to yourself the day you joined up at Freedom to never take another puff!

Joel

Fer0104
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 20:12

06 Sep 2003, 08:28 #12

okay, i´m a newbie, this is only my first week, but i do want to get a little something into this string, since i do agree that this is the core of freedom, and the core of our definitive quits here. actually this has to do with another concept - the "one day at a time" - and this conversation i had today with a friend who is a permanent withdrawal-addict, since she smokes a couple of cigarettes everyday. i was actually telling her how my commitment to "never take another puff" makes it easier for me to deal with my craves. since i know i will "never take another puff", why bother with entertaining the thought of a crave, why even think about it? well, she then mentioned that that wouldn´t work for her, that she can´t think in terms of "never', that she has to take "one day at a time". well, that´s when i saw the dual aspect of this question. it has to be one day at a time, it has to be manageable, specially during crave crisis, but it has to be forever. that commitment to not relapsing, that certainty of not wanting to go through withdrawal again has to be there. i tell you i can hardly wait for the time when i´ll go through a week without thinking of cigarettes. truth is i can´t be sure that it will come, but i´m going to believe in it, and i´m going to work for it. how? with the red hot adherence to my commitment, and the support of my family at freedom. to tell you the truth, it even crossed my mind not to post, not to write, not to access the site, not to think about this anymore, just forget about cigarettes, forget i was ever an addict (i still am, right?).....but that would be simply fooling myself, and that´s exactly what my quit is all about - STOP FOOLING MYSELF, and i´m afraid i have to agree that relapsing is fooling yourself, and that´s why i also agree and believe that members don´t relapse, or else, you´re still playing games - and you´re not even playing with the members or staff on this site - i´m afraid you´re merely playing with yourself. i´m so thankful (yeah, yeah....so maybe i could have done some other way, but i didn´t) to my support family at freedom that i can only understand, feel, and take to heart the premise that relapsing without posting is a slap in everybody´s face. well, i wouldn´t do that. and since i´m sure that reading and waiting for the support would stop me from relapsing, i haven´t felt the need to aske for help yet. maybe i will - i know i will if it ever comes to that. but all i really wanted to say is that to me it´s absolutely crystal clear that the commitment to non-relapse is the key, and that´s why once you´ve become a member that option is simply not available. fernando.

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

10 Sep 2003, 18:56 #13

For anyone who thinks of themselves as a "serial quitter."

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

28 Sep 2003, 01:36 #14

The primary benefactor of this policy is each and every member himself or herself. We have made it very easy for each and every member to have a clearly defined spelled out battle line. No longer does a person have the luxury of thinking, "Well if I relapse, I'll go to Freedom and quit again." We have in effect destroyed what to some people can be a very persuasive argument supporting a kind of junkie thinking.
Again, for the majority of people here this policy poses no threat and makes the each and every members mission here that much more clearly defined. It was what their intent was the day they first signed up to Freedom. To stay a member of Freedom, and more important, to keep the health and life saving benefits of staying a successful ex-smoker is as simple now as just remembering to stay totally committed to never take another puff!

TerrysDaughter Green
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

28 Sep 2003, 02:04 #15

I just want to say that I am GLAD that we are not allowed to relapse and have a membership with Freedom. If it weren't for that unbending rule, I would have relapsed by now.

I know I would have. Because the addiction would have whispered "You can quit again on Monday. You just need a smoke or two to get you through this stressful time." The addiction HAS whispered that to me, several times.

It was the unbending LAW of Freedom that attributed to my staying quit. I admit there are many other aspects to my staying committed to my quit. But this is definately one of them. Allowing me to relapse would make it too easy for me to relapse.

This is the hardest thing that I have ever done. I don't like it a good portion of the time. But I love it every minute of it because I do feel free. I can BREATH.

Thank you for being so strict with us. Expect more and you will get more. From others and from yourself.

Live in the momentImage

TerrysDaughterImage

FreedomFlyer
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:08

29 Oct 2003, 06:50 #16

I think the policy is as it should be. We are not playing around, this is simply a matter of life and death.

B
8 months 1 week of fredom.

rebmiami green
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

05 Nov 2003, 06:47 #17

Just like Terrysdaughter #18, the policy has helped me resist urges and craves also. I could tell myself that relapse is not an option, but if I was allowed to come back, the inner junkie would have a weapon: it would say, nobody could make it through this much stress, start over tomorrow. Now it can't say that.
Cheers,
Edson

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

09 Nov 2003, 21:37 #18

I think Candi will appreciate this one: The primary benefactor of this policy is each and every member himself or herself. We have made it very easy for each and every member to have a clearly defined spelled out battle line. No longer does a person have the luxury of thinking, "Well if I relapse, I'll go to Freedom and quit again." We have in effect destroyed what to some people can be a very persuasive argument supporting a kind of junkie thinking.

For the majority of people here this policy poses no threat and makes the each and every members mission here that much more clearly defined. It was what their intent was the day they first signed up to Freedom. To stay a member of Freedom, and more important, to keep the health and life saving benefits of staying a successful ex-smoker is as simple now as just remembering to stay totally committed to never take another puff!

CandidCandiSilver
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

09 Nov 2003, 21:45 #19

Thanks Joel ~ must be the reason I am an active member of Freedom rather than one of the other online groups, even though I had to wait 72 hours to join!! This junkie needs for the back door to be nonexistant!!

Thanks for all that you share and all that you do for this group!

God Bless,

Candi

OBob Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

10 Nov 2003, 03:28 #20

Or to look at it another way, the back door is there, but it's miserable on the other side, and it only opens one way.

Smoking "is" an option

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