freaked out

Nick Egerton
Nick Egerton

July 5th, 2008, 1:54 pm #1

I was so, sooo close to relapsing last night. At least it feels that way. I had been drinking with a few buddies, all of whom smoke (in fact, I don't have a single friend who doesn't smoke). Cigarettes started to look pretty great after a while. At one point, my friend actually offered me one, and I quickly and instinctively denied. But I wanted it. I wanted it bad. Before he offered me, I was contemplating actually asking him for one.

I know i should be glad I didn't smoke, but now I feel concerned and worried about the future. What if I can't keep myself together the next time this situation arises? I love my quit, I hate being a smoker. I don't want cigarettes back. I'm on edge and nervous today, and a little scared because I almost lost my precious quit last night.
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katsrule8
katsrule8

July 5th, 2008, 2:21 pm #2

Hiya Nick
Okay well done - don't be worried about the future, because you see the future is in your hands and yours alone, thinking about having a cigarette is not doing, it takes an action, like taking the cigarette, lighting the cigarette, inhaling the cigarette and going back to being an addict, YOU are the only one that can determine your destiny - read/listen/watch as much as you can here, because mate, it all boils down to education and with the education comes your strength and determination.
When I quit I lived with a smoker, the ashtrays the cigarettes were all there as along with the smell....I was stronger, and now my husband is an ex smoker as well...
Nick this path you have choosen to travel is not all that smooth, but you have the support... just remember 1=ALL and take one day at a time.
And I promise you that is really does get better.......I am proof that it does.

Suzie
648 days of one day at a time
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RobinS614
RobinS614

July 5th, 2008, 3:53 pm #3

From the thread Alcohol and quitting

It is imperative that everyone here recognizes that everything you can do as a smoker, you can also do as an ex-smoker. You just have to teach yourself how. Somethings you are forced early on to learn immediately, how to eat, sleep, use the washroom, breath, etc. These are things that are required from day one for survival, so even though you may resist doing one of them, you can't resist it for long and will thereby be forced to start to break the association to smoking early on. Other things are sometimes put off and seen as not critical to face early on. Things like working, laundry, cleaning, brushing teeth, combing hair, etc. While it is true you won't die if you stop one of these activities for a day or two, putting off doing them too long will create a set of problems that can be quite annoying to those around you. Besides threatening your livelihood and making you look like a slob in general, if carried on too long, you can really start to feel intimidated that you may not be able to do one or more of these activities ever again. Once again I need to repeat the opening sentence here, everything you do as a smoker, you can also do as an ex-smoker--but you have to teach yourself how.

Now when it comes to areas of less importance, watching tv, sports, playing cards, being a couch potato, and yes, even drinking with friends--things that are not necessary for survival and in fact, things that may not even be good for you, well, the truth is you can do these things too as an ex-smoker. The same process is necessary though, you have to teach yourself how. Holding off too long can create a sense of intimidation, the feeling that you can never do it again. This simply is not the case, you will be able to get yourself back to your prequit existence if you choose to.

Drinking is a special case because the association is so strong and by its very nature lowers your inhibitions and can cause people to do some very irrational behaviors. Smoking can be one of them. Because of the drug influence, it is best to take it on gradually, in the beginning in a safe environment. By that I mean the first time, limit it to one drink just to show yourself you can do that. Also, do it with people who are non-smokers and who really are supportive of your quit. This is a much safer situation in the beginning by going out with drinking smoking buddies who may be a tad envious of your quit, and who, while drinking also have their inhibitions lowered that may manifest in behaviours of encouragement of your smoking at a time when you are more vulnerable.

Soon you will be able to face these environments too, but work your way their gradually, breaking some of the association and intimidation factors in the safer controlled environments. The fact is though, for the rest of your life you will need to keep your guard up, in a sense reminding yourself of your reason for having quit and the importance to stay off smoking everytime before you go drinking. It prepares you to face the situation in a much safer state of readiness.

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RobinS614
RobinS614

July 5th, 2008, 4:04 pm #4

Read.....Read......Read.
It is the education that will assist you to break the shackles of your addiction and learn once again to live your life free of a super toxin central nervous system stimulant called nicotine.
Using attitude to reduce anxiety
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Ilona
Ilona

July 5th, 2008, 9:09 pm #5

Hi Nick

Don't let your quit be undermined by your fear. You just vanquished a trigger, and this is how a quit progresses, one trigger at a time. It is a challnege, but a doable one. Be patient; the fight gets easier not harder, but it does take time, so do prepare yourself for the next challenge. I found John's Nicotine Cessation Tips (on the opening page of WhyQuit) the most helpful tips during my own times of struggle; also a lot of info. there.

On this website, we are encouraged to arm ourselves with knowledge and listen to our heads against the pull of the addiction which has no brain. From my own struggle, I have found that it is equally important to listen to our hearts and explore our feelings in order not to be freaked out by them. There are posts that speak to this point too; look up one called "The Monster Under the Bed". (I apologize for my poor linking abilities, perhaps someone else can provide the link)

Every smoker has to face what you are now facing in order to become an ex-smoker. We only have 2 choices: go back to smoking, or keep going forward as ex-smokers. It boils down to NTAP

Ilona
(110 days)
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starbirder.ffn
starbirder.ffn

July 6th, 2008, 12:36 am #6

Hiya Nick.....not Rick...sorry about that name oops to your 1st post. See we all can make mistakes here too, but only allowed with the keyboard, not with using nicotine.....That is NOT ALLOWED HERE!!!! That said, I do remember the pains of wanting just that one....and being in that difficult group activity-DRINKING, but you have what....almost 2 weeks free of nicotine invested. That is HUGE....that is so AWESOME and you went out with the boys drinking......and those craves came......well you were smart enough to stay in control and not use!!!!!
You did NOT TAKE ANOTHER PUFF and you came here to your education/support group!!!! Good for You!!!!
You are doing some big healing now and as you continue onward, you will continue to adjust and relearn to do everything!!!! We did, it will get better with some time!!!
Here is Quit Smoking Tip Sheet may be the thread llona mentioned.
Do READ every chance you have here and PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE Never Taking Another Puff Each Day.
Nicotine Cessation Tips !!!!

Star Free and Healing for 11 Months, 22 Days and 50 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 12 Days and 9 Hours, by avoiding the use of 3,570 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $918.49 and Love'n every day FREE!!!
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Nick Egerton
Nick Egerton

July 7th, 2008, 10:25 am #7

i thank everyone for your wise words and helpful reading material. my crisis has passed and i feel great. thanks
Nick
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AmandaMarieChape0
AmandaMarieChape0

July 20th, 2008, 8:59 am #8

Thanks for those words: "we only have 2 choices: go back to smoking, or keep going forward as ex smokers."

So true...so true. That's all there is.
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RobinS614
RobinS614

July 20th, 2008, 12:22 pm #9

As Nick said 2 weeks ago in his post #7, his crisis has passed. This string should now be allowed to drop down the boards.

See - Bringing negative posts to the top and Courtesy and Rules-Courtesy #4 (Posting to crisis posts)

PLEASE DO NOT POST TO THIS STRING AGAIN !
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blackstone942
blackstone942

August 26th, 2008, 7:59 am #10

This message has been deleted by the author.
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