Finding Cigarettes

Finding Cigarettes

Joel
Joel

April 7th, 2006, 2:12 am #1

I wrote the below commentary specifically about people offering you cigarettes after you quit. Another similar issue is for people who repeatedly "accidentally" leave their cigarettes in your home, office or car. If this ever happens it is best to destroy the person's cigarettes. Again, the same concept applies--whether you smoke them or destroy them, the cigarettes are no longer going to be available for the person who has carelessly left them behind. The first time if you really feel bad you can reimburse the person the cost of the cigarettes. After that though the person should clearly know not to be so careless with his or her cigarettes.
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If ever you have a family member, friend, co-worker or any other acquaintance offer you a cigarette it is best to politely say no and just let the person know that you do not smoke any more nor do you even want to smoke any more. Basically say you have no interest or desire for one. That should be the end of the offers if it is from any person who was just making what he or she thought was a friendly gesture.

If the person pursues asking you about how you quit and why you feel as you do, you may want to take the opportunity to share some of what you learned here about how important quitting smoking is and how much better you feel about yourself since you have quit smoking.

If on the other hand the person continues to offer you a cigarette or is obviously actually pushing you to take one it is best to give it one or two more tries to politely say no and ask the person not to offer any more for you truly have no intention of smoking one. If this doesn't end the pressure being put on you to take a cigarette it is time to change your tactics. Look at the person, maybe even with a little bit of sadness and defeat in your eyes, and say to him or her that you can't take the pressure anymore and sure give me a cigarette if you must. When he or she hands you the cigarette, walk over to the nearest garbage can, crumble it up and throw it out.

Now you have an option of how you want to proceed. You can either wait for the next offer to come or you can say, "Thank you, that felt great. Would you like to give me another one." If the person is gullible enough to offer you another take that one too and repeat the destruction and disposal. Keep it up for as long as the person keeps offering. At some point you may want to say that this could go a whole lot faster if you would like to give me your pack. You can destroy all of the cigarettes that way in one fell swoop.

I can assure you that if you stick to this game plan the person is eventually going to stop offering you cigarettes. Cigarettes are just to expensive to keep up this kind of routine over a long time period. By the way, you should not feel any guilt for destroying the cigarettes of another person. Once a person is offering you a cigarette he or she should not be expecting to get it back. If you smoke the cigarette it is no longer available for the person or if you destroy the cigarette it is no longer available either. If the person is indeed making the offer to somehow give you some sort of pleasure the odds are you will get some sort of pleasure out of destroying them. If not pleasure you should get a little amusement out of the reaction from the person as they see their hard fought efforts to get you to smoke get instantly trashed.

This action will likely result in the other person feeling a whole lot more irritated by the altercation than you will. More importantly though, you will by example be proving to the person and to yourself that your quit is strong and your resolve is totally intact to stick to your personal commitment to never take another puff.

Joel
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Jacqui672 Gold
Jacqui672 Gold

April 7th, 2006, 4:12 am #2

What timing! Last night, my husband (A smoker) went out. He had been using my computer, because his was down. I went to my computer to pop in here and read, and OH THE HORROR! He had left a pack of smokes with 5 cigs in it on my keyboard! At first I freaked! Then I laughed at myself, and calmly got up and threw them away.

He came home...late. Shook me awake, where were his cigs? I told him I tossed them. Sure enough, like I've done 1000 x before, he dug em out and smoked them.
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Jacqui672 Gold
Jacqui672 Gold

April 7th, 2006, 4:12 am #3

Forgot-One week, two days, 5 hours, 12 minutes and 27 seconds. 368 cigarettes not smoked, saving $101.38. Life saved: 1 day, 6 hours, 40 minutes.
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Starshinegrl Gold
Starshinegrl Gold

April 7th, 2006, 3:55 pm #4

Oh, Joel, you have already linked the short funny clinic story.

Still would like to add Just Found a Cigarette.

Gitte
497 days and a bit
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Zinnia987
Zinnia987

July 11th, 2006, 8:40 am #5

Joel,
I love that! I'm going to try that, because I have friends who smoke! Thank you, that made me chuckle amongst myself!
-Zinnia
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Joel
Joel

February 21st, 2007, 5:56 pm #6

This video talks about the issue of offers for cigarettes or people leaving their cigarettes around where you may will likely them:
Dealing with people who try to undercut your quit Dial Up
6.52mb
High Speed
19.52mb
Length
17:42
11/12/06
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Joel
Joel

April 27th, 2007, 8:10 pm #7

This is a good post to attach to this string considering the above example:

Short funny clinic story

A couple of years ago I had a clinic graduate relate an incident to me. He had come in the third night of one of my clinics for reinforcement after he had been off for a number of months. He told me that a couple of days earlier he found himself tempted to have a cigarette. He was in a men's room at his work where he saw a a single cigarette (his brand) and a lighter sitting on top of the urinal and all of a sudden thought to himself how tempting it was and how easy it would be to just light the cigarette and take a puff. I asked him when was the last time he ever saw anything else on a urinal in a men's room that he was somehow tempted to put into his mouth. At that he smiled and said, "point well taken." He has been fine since that realization.

This video talks about the issue of offers for cigarettes or people leaving their cigarettes around where you may will likely them:
Dealing with people who try to undercut your quit Dial Up
6.52mb
High Speed
19.52mb
Length
17:42
11/12/06
Quote
Share

Joel
Joel

July 17th, 2007, 6:40 am #8

This is a good post to attach to this string considering the above example:

Short funny clinic story

A couple of years ago I had a clinic graduate relate an incident to me. He had come in the third night of one of my clinics for reinforcement after he had been off for a number of months. He told me that a couple of days earlier he found himself tempted to have a cigarette. He was in a men's room at his work where he saw a a single cigarette (his brand) and a lighter sitting on top of the urinal and all of a sudden thought to himself how tempting it was and how easy it would be to just light the cigarette and take a puff. I asked him when was the last time he ever saw anything else on a urinal in a men's room that he was somehow tempted to put into his mouth. At that he smiled and said, "point well taken." He has been fine since that realization.

This video talks about the issue of offers for cigarettes or people leaving their cigarettes around where you may will likely them:
Dealing with people who try to undercut your quit Dial Up
6.52mb
High Speed
19.52mb
Length
17:42
11/12/06
Quote
Share

Nyniane SparrowSong
Nyniane SparrowSong

July 18th, 2007, 10:57 am #9

May I share?

Bearing Joel's advice in mind, when my husband repeatedly left his cigs in the garage, I decided to go with a "Winston Lynching." I drew a face on one of them, tied a string around it's "neck," snapped it at the filter, and hung it from the lawnmower handle. That still didn't seem like enough, so I stuck a few straight pins through it, for good measure.

By the time I was done, the things must have learned not to whisper to me anymore. And, I have never found a pack laying around since.



Regards,
Beth - Free and Healing for Five Months, Fifteen Days, 19 Hours and 57 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 11 Days and 12 Hours, by avoiding the use of 3317 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $576.03.
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Joel
Joel

December 13th, 2007, 9:39 pm #10

This is a good post to attach to this string considering the above example:

Short funny clinic story

A couple of years ago I had a clinic graduate relate an incident to me. He had come in the third night of one of my clinics for reinforcement after he had been off for a number of months. He told me that a couple of days earlier he found himself tempted to have a cigarette. He was in a men's room at his work where he saw a a single cigarette (his brand) and a lighter sitting on top of the urinal and all of a sudden thought to himself how tempting it was and how easy it would be to just light the cigarette and take a puff. I asked him when was the last time he ever saw anything else on a urinal in a men's room that he was somehow tempted to put into his mouth. At that he smiled and said, "point well taken." He has been fine since that realization.

This video talks about the issue of offers for cigarettes or people leaving their cigarettes around where you may will likely them:
Dealing with people who try to undercut your quit Dial Up
6.52mb
High Speed
19.52mb
Length
17:42
11/12/06
Quote
Share

hwc5
hwc5

June 9th, 2008, 1:37 pm #11

I didn't share this story last week when I posted about my first car trip (7 hours each way) as an ex-smoker. I was really pleased that I never once felt an urge to smoke during that entire trip. Hour after hour in the car, no urges to fight off.

But, maybe the most telling moment came at a rest stop on the New Jersey Turnpike. As I was walking in to get a cup of coffee, I looked down and someone had dropped a pack of cigarrettes, with a matchbook neatly tucked inside the cellophane. I never gave a moment's thought to reaching down or them. Why? Because I'm an ex-smoker. I will never take another puff.
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annD2121
annD2121

July 30th, 2008, 10:13 pm #12

I just watched this video again. It is one of my favorites. Before my quits have always failed because I have either found cigarettes around the house or someone has offered me one. My husband keeps a pack in his glovebox. He doesn't smoke. We live out in the country and everytime I tried to quit before and failed he has had those in his glovebox so he wouldn't have to go out in the middle of the night, 30 miles away and get me a fix. They are still there. When I had my meltdown a few days into my quit, I knew they were there, a few feet away in the driveway. After that passed and I didn't smoke, I knew this quit was going to stick. That pack is still in his glove box. I guess he is not ready to let go of it yet. The good news is... I am. NTAP
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Joel
Joel

October 29th, 2008, 11:52 pm #13


From the string a Short funny clinic story


A couple of years ago I had a clinic graduate relate an incident to me. He had come in the third night of one of my clinics for reinforcement after he had been off for a number of months. He told me that a couple of days earlier he found himself tempted to have a cigarette. He was in a men's room at his work where he saw a a single cigarette (his brand) and a lighter sitting on top of the urinal and all of a sudden thought to himself how tempting it was and how easy it would be to just light the cigarette and take a puff. I asked him when was the last time he ever saw anything else on a urinal in a men's room that he was somehow tempted to put into his mouth. At that he smiled and said, "point well taken." He has been fine since that realization.
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Joined: November 13th, 2008, 2:04 pm

January 23rd, 2009, 3:36 pm #14

I noticed some of the posts on this recovery board have not been viewed by any member since we moved our site. This post had no views yet. Now it is possible that new members are reading the materials at www.whyquit.com which is great. There are however numerous articles that we had at the old MSN board and now also at this new site that are not at the www.whyquit.com website. I will try to pop a few up a day for new members, but I do encourage people first joining to to through the boards that we have set up here and read through the articles. The more you read and understand, the more prepared you will be when encountering awkward times such as finding a pack or other kinds of unexpected triggers to stick to your personal commitment to never take another puff.

Joel
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hwc
hwc

April 25th, 2009, 7:18 pm #15

So, I'm going through some stuff, cleaning up closets and so forth. I find a box that has some leftover Christmas stuff from 16 months ago right before I quit smoking -- cards, some wrapping paper, a few trinket type gifts that never got put up (football decals, etc.). All the sudden, what do I find in the bottom of the bag?

A pack of souvenir cigarettes from my college daughter who had just returned from a trip to China bringing souvenir Chinese gifts. Fancy gold foil box, embossed with the Shanghai skyline. Very fancy. First time I had held a pack of cigarettes since I tossed my last two packs in February a year ago.

I chuckled, imagining some soon-to-be relapser thinking "just one won't hurt" right... But, I've read the One Puff Files too many times to fall for that junkie thinking nonsense. Instead, I visualize Joel doing a video on what to do when you find the souvenir cigarettes your daughter brought back to her nicotine addict dad from China...

I marched them straight out to the garage and tossed 'em in the trash. Actually, I didn't even have any reaction to holding a pack of cigarettes. No desire to open them. Even holding a pack of cigarettes didn't trigger any desire to smoke! Yippee. That's a far cry from the empty pack I found in my car a few weeks after I quit, a discovery that sent electricity shooting up my spine. Glad I didn't find this pack of Chinese cigarettes in my closet back then!

But, ex-smokers don't keep cigarettes, even if they are in a fancy souvenir pack. I e-mailed my daughter and confessed that I had just thrown away a present from her. I think she'll understand.

After smoking for 35+ years, I quit cold turkey One Year, Two Months, Fourteen Days, 14 Hours and 16 Minutes ago. By breaking my active nicotine addiction, I've not purchased and smoked 8792 cigarettes that would have cost me $2,238.17. They tell me I've extended my life expectancy by 30 Days and 12 Hours as a result of quitting when I did.
Last edited by hwc on April 25th, 2009, 7:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: November 13th, 2008, 2:04 pm

October 14th, 2011, 4:15 pm #16

Last edited by Joel Spitzer on August 3rd, 2012, 8:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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