Emotional Loss Experienced from Quitting Smoking

The emotions that flow from nicotine cessation
John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

12 Apr 2004, 21:23 #31

Image
Acceptance
Last edited by John (Gold) on 16 Mar 2009, 23:36, edited 1 time in total.
Reply

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

04 May 2004, 23:16 #32

I saw where a member who has been off a significant time period is seeming to be in a "bargaining" phase again. Actually, there is a phase that many people go through once they are off significant time periods that mimic bargaining. It is a stage of complacency.
The self talk a person may do when in complacency is the exact same self talk he or she may do when first quitting and bargaining. It will only be one, it'll get me through the crisis, it will be a terrible cigarette and help me secure my resolve, no one will ever know, and so on.
The only difference between the bargaining phase and the complacency phase is that when you are bargaining, you know all of the comments are lies and that you are just trying to convince yourself that you can have one. When in the state of complacency though you can believe everything you are saying. Whether you know the feelings are lies or not doesn't change the fact that they are lies.
You don't have the option of one and if you try to test the theory you are going to find yourself a smoker again. A smoker who is never going to have the support that you had last time (see Good news, our members don't relapse anymore... ) and more importantly, a smoker who may never have the strength, desire or worst yet, the opportunity to quit again.
To keep this quit going is contingent on keeping your initial reasons for wanting to quit and your current reasons for want to stay quit reinforced. The more you work at securing your resolve the easier it will be and the happier you will stay in your commitment to never take another puff!
Joel
Last edited by Joel on 10 Apr 2009, 05:53, edited 1 time in total.
Reply

justjudi gold
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 20:30

08 Jun 2004, 23:06 #33

Joel, your message 100 on this thread is so on target. I've been a non-smoker since Jan. 21 of 2003. I won't let myself touch even one cigarette. I can't. I know I can't stop at one. The most difficult thing for me to admit was that I could not be a "social" smoker as so many people are, or claim to be. I can't have "just one" and then walk away. At a much younger stage of my life I took a break from smoking and told myself I was too smart to do that to my body. (I should have been, right?) Well, somewhere in the 4 years without a cigarette, I convinced myself that I had it all under control and I could have one from time to time and everything would be fine. That wasn't the case, and once I began smoking (bearing in mind the first few tasted horrible and I had to work on up to where they tasted good again -- how sick is that??) I could not stop. Thank God I know now that I do have this addiction and I can't cater to it in any way, shape or form. The only thing I can do is to never smoke again. We don't tell heroin addicts that it's okay to take one more hit, and we shouldn't tell ourselves it's okay to have one cigarette.

I believe I understand as well as anyone how difficult it is to find new coping mechanisms. For years, many of us escaped from reality by hiding behind nicotine and not addressing the situations that caused us stress. When the nicotine is gone, we have no choice but to deal with the myriad of emotions that flood us. It's not fun, and it's not easy. But try and remember that if you talk yourself into allowing one more cigarette, not only will you find yourself dealing with life's everyday problems, but also you will have to deal with quitting again. It's so much more difficult to stop when you've already done it and failed previously. It's worth it, but it's not easy.

People, please remember that you are worth the extra effort to get through life without cigarettes. Even if YOU don't think you are, someone out there does and don't you owe it to them to be the healthiest person that you can be?
Last edited by justjudi gold on 16 Mar 2009, 23:42, edited 1 time in total.
Reply

Rickrob53 Gold
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

11 Jun 2004, 23:47 #34

Joel
(just thinking out loud): Your post in message 100 is very powerful in its own right. Is it possible to make that its own separate discussion thread?
(I see quit a few responses to members posts that have links to the Emotional Loss discussion concerning "bargaining", and then they go on to write about not getting complacent. Yet, its hard to find out just what complacency really means, unless a person searches through the Emotional Loss threads and happens across #100).

Richard
18 weeks, 1 day
Reply

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

12 Jun 2004, 00:05 #35

Done Richard: Complacency
Last edited by Joel on 16 Mar 2009, 23:40, edited 1 time in total.
Reply

Joanne Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

09 Aug 2004, 23:56 #36

For Chris again...Image
Once you reach the stage of acceptance, you get a true perspective of what smoking was doing to you and what not smoking can do for you. Within two weeks the addiction is broken and, hopefully, the stages are successfully overcome and, finally, life goes on.
Reply

Joel
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

28 Aug 2004, 02:02 #37

Bargaining is probably the most dangerous stage in the effort to stop smoking. "Oh boy, I could sneak this one and nobody will ever know it." "Things are really tough today, I will just have one to help me over this problem, no more after that." "Maybe I'll just smoke today, and quit again tomorrow." It may be months before these people even attempt to quit again.

From: Joel Sent: 5/4/2004 10:16 AM
I saw where a member who has been off a significant time period is seeming to be in a "bargaining" phase again. Actually, there is a phase that many people go through once they are off significant time periods that mimic bargaining. It is a stage of complacency.
The self talk a person may do when in complacency is the exact same self talk he or she may do when first quitting and bargaining. It will only be one, it'll get me through the crisis, it will be a terrible cigarette and help me secure my resolve, no one will ever know, and so on.
The only difference between the bargaining phase and the complacency phase is that when you are bargaining, you know all of the comments are lies and that you are just trying to convince yourself that you can have one. When in the state of complacency though you can believe everything you are saying. Whether you know the feelings are lies or not doesn't change the fact that they are lies.
You don't have the option of one and if you try to test the theory you are going to find yourself a smoker again. A smoker who is never going to have the support that you had last time (see Good news, our members don't relapse anymore...) and more importantly, a smoker who may never have the strength, desire or worst yet, the opportunity to quit again.
To keep this quit going is contingent on keeping your initial reasons for wanting to quit and your current reasons for want to stay quit reinforced. The more you work at securing your resolve the easier it will be and the happier you will stay in your commitment to never take another puff!
Joel
Last edited by Joel on 10 Apr 2009, 05:52, edited 1 time in total.
Reply

nycsep
Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 20:29

25 Nov 2004, 00:37 #38

I can totally relate to this as I'm 9 days into my quit. I CANNOT stop crying about everything! I have more energy but this helped me think that I'm displacing my reason for crying. I'm looking for an acceptable excuse and I think the chemicals in my body are going for a real ride. Keep kleenex close by and saying through the tears, "I will not smoke today."
Reply

John (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

02 Jan 2005, 23:32 #39

Image
Acceptance
Patience! It's coming, we promise!
Last edited by John (Gold) on 16 Mar 2009, 23:47, edited 1 time in total.
Reply

OBob Gold
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

11 Jan 2005, 06:35 #40

Last edited by OBob Gold on 10 Apr 2009, 05:53, edited 2 times in total.
Reply