Don't Get Discouraged!

Subconscious use cue extinguishment
Doc460704
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

31 Jan 2008, 00:24 #51

Dear JoeJFree, Parker and all the GOLD members,

Thanks for the advice on this thread. As a newbee a few days short of green this was just what I needed. Especially the post from Parker.

I'm learning to care for my quit like I did for our kids when they were young. My baby is not quite a month old. I'm having some rough times, though fewer every day like you predicted. Comments from the experienced ones like you lead me to believe that just like my kids:

1) My quit needs more attention when it's this young.
2) My quit will mature and grow in strength like my children did.
3) Before I know it my quit will survive with little attention from me and I'll be able to look back with pride at the accomplishment.

Thanks & NTAP,

Pat (free 29 days, 9 hours and 19 minutes)
SLC, UTImage
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Sal GOLD.ffn
Joined: 16 Jan 2003, 08:00

22 Jun 2008, 09:14 #52

From Parker's wonderful post above:
Perhaps some people think that you quit smoking and now it's over. End of story. Close the book. File this away as an unfortunate incident of the past. You don't need to think about it anymore. Well, we do need to think about it - not obsessively, not continually - but it needs our attention. We need to remember how desperate we felt to quit. We need to remember how awful withdrawal might have been. We need to remember how we began to gradually feel better and could concentrate on something besides not smoking. We need to remember how we began to understand that years of smoking had stunted our emotional responses. We need to remember cutting ourselves off from other people in order to smoke. We need to remember that we quit smoking because we valued our lives and ourselves enough to take a frightening step into the unknown territory of recovery.

It's fine by me to get a little scared once in a while. Keeps me grateful for my quit. Reminds me of what a precious gift I am giving myself every day.

So, don't lose heart!

Don't get discouraged!

This is hard work, but it does get easier. All you have to do is keep reading here and you see that. Post after post after post reinforces the message that this is doable and desirable. There is real comfort on this journey and it is yours for the taking as long as you never take another puff.

(There I go stealing Joel's lines again!) Image
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eriley1
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

22 Jun 2008, 09:38 #53

I have been needing every word of this post tonight and the last few days. I am ok...but seemingly thinking about nicotine too much. I had several weeks of nothing and now it seems a little more difficult. But I am resolved in my quit....just nice to see that when I quit it's never the end of story, close the book, file this away....it's always about NTAP, and that I can do. thanks for the post, jenna, free for 41 days
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candle61
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:05

22 Jun 2008, 22:39 #54

Jenna, please don't get discouraged! I have toughts about nicotine I don't try to evade them but I don't over emphasize them . Just let them come and go. They are nothing but thoughts.You can even examine them in a kind os dispassionate way. Cigarettes, tobacco, nicotine this is bad all through. Your life is not bad.It's a good one, breathing is good. And the only way you can really breath is without nicotine. Keep to your resolve OK? Imagecandle
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Crystal View1.ffn
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

29 Jun 2008, 09:51 #55

Image Image Parker, I just got back from a full week at the beach with all my children and grandchildren (12 people in total!) ....staying in the same cottage...Got this post highlighted in an email....I want to say, thank you so, so much for your wisdom and honest "the way it is" sharing! "Initially, we need to work hard at our quits. Then comes a time when we realize the work is not as hard. We are able to ease up, we think less about it. But, we never get to forget that we are addicts in recovery. Nobody graduates from addiction." I will hold everything in these thoughts dear to my heart. Yes, I am free and "not afraid" (with all the tools you mention!) to stay that way! Thanks!!!! Katie

Katie - After 40 Years! Free and Healing for Three Years, Eight Months, Ten Days, 12 Hours and 45 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 79 Days and 17 Hours, by avoiding the use of 22959 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $4,856.36.
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dixieanny
Joined: 20 May 2009, 18:43

23 Jun 2009, 04:55 #56

In the past couple days, there was more than one post by members who admitted to doing some serious thinking about smoking. Folks on their way to or just past gold. I, for one, am glad that they shared. This forum is enriched by our honest sharing of our experiences of quitting.
When I was newly quit, I read posts by old time members who talked about never wanting to smoke. They spoke of total comfort. I assumed this meant they never had even a nanosecond of thought about cigarettes. That, of course, led me to believe that I was retarded in my progress. Because even as my quit time continued to pile up, there were these….thoughts. In the early months of quitting, they plagued me and I was pretty sure they would never go away.

Thank you, Parker, wow this is exactly what I needed! The entire thing is just beautifully said!
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rosy
Joined: 18 Oct 2009, 08:31

05 Dec 2009, 20:07 #57

Parker GOLD wrote:
In the past couple days, there was more than one post by members who admitted to doing some serious thinking about smoking. Folks on their way to or just past gold. I, for one, am glad that they shared. This forum is enriched by our honest sharing of our experiences of quitting.
When I was newly quit, I read posts by old time members who talked about never wanting to smoke. They spoke of total comfort. I assumed this meant they never had even a nanosecond of thought about cigarettes. That, of course, led me to believe that I was retarded in my progress. Because even as my quit time continued to pile up, there were these….thoughts. In the early months of quitting, they plagued me and I was pretty sure they would never go away.
The truth is they have not gone away completely. However, they have diminished to the point that they concern me not at all anymore. I've written before about the fact that as my quit matured the thoughts became harmless little things. A little whoosh through the brain. Completely painless.
The thoughts would only have power if I latched onto them. If I grabbed that thought as it was flying by and captured it and began to stroke it and worry about it and magnify it and reproduce it and clutch it to me….then it would cease to be powerless. It would grow in size and strength and take up more and more space in my brain. I might begin to feel less grateful for my freedom and more like I was deprived of something. Then perhaps some feelings of resentment might arise. Maybe I might even begin to entertain the thought that this one puff leads to relapse business is a bunch of malarkey. I imagine that more than one of you is nodding your head in recognition as you read this. We've all been there---this is junkie thinking. This is one of the long-term results of drug addiction.
Personally, I counteract any tendency to sink into that cycle by taking care of my quit. I do that by reading here at the forum. Reading someone's first post full of fear and confusion and new hope reminds me of where I started. Posting congratulations for an accomplishment reminds me of my own successes. Participating in a parade fills me with a sense of wonder at how well we are all doing with out quits.
There is no denying that those recent posts are scary. They remind us of the deadly power of this addiction. We don't just quit and then lah-di-dah our way through the rest of our lives. Initially, we need to work hard at our quits. Then comes a time when we realize the work is not as hard. We are able to ease up, we think less about it. But, we never get to forget that we are addicts in recovery. Nobody graduates from addiction.
Perhaps some people think that you quit smoking and now it's over. End of story. Close the book. File this away as an unfortunate incident of the past. You don't need to think about it anymore. Well, we do need to think about it - not obsessively, not continually - but it needs our attention. We need to remember how desperate we felt to quit. We need to remember how awful withdrawal might have been. We need to remember how we began to gradually feel better and could concentrate on something besides not smoking. We need to remember how we began to understand that years of smoking had stunted our emotional responses. We need to remember cutting ourselves off from other people in order to smoke. We need to remember that we quit smoking because we valued our lives and ourselves enough to take a frightening step into the unknown territory of recovery.
It's fine by me to get a little scared once in a while. Keeps me grateful for my quit. Reminds me of what a precious gift I am giving myself every day.
So, don't lose heart!
Don't get discouraged!
This is hard work, but it does get easier. All you have to do is keep reading here and you see that. Post after post after post reinforces the message that this is doable and desirable. There is real comfort on this journey and it is yours for the taking as long as you never take another puff.
(There I go stealing Joel's lines again!) Image
ImageParker - 15 months of freedom & healing and obviously very long-winded today Image
I had a little emotional stress / upset with a family member today and hour or so later, I was mulling over the incident when it occurred to me that I went through the actual incident without wanting to reach out for a cigarette. Then as I was thinking about this with pride and amazement, I started to think about how good it would be to have a cigarette right then. That gave me a jolt back to reality - told myself its just a thought and went back to mulling over the family argument.

As Parker said "
The thoughts would only have power if I latched onto them. If I grabbed that thought as it was flying by and captured it and began to stroke it and worry about it and magnify it and reproduce it and clutch it to me….then it would cease to be powerless. It would grow in size and strength and take up more and more space in my brain. I might begin to feel less grateful for my freedom and more like I was deprived of something. Then perhaps some feelings of resentment might arise"

After todays incident I went to look for some "comfort" on the Board, and ofcourse found just want I needed.

Thanks
Free & Healing
Rosy
Stopped Smoking for One Month, Twenty Seven Days, 4 Hours and 5 Minutes, by avoiding the use of 1887 nicotine delivery devices. Quit Day : 09/10/2009.
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MauriceS
Joined: 09 Feb 2015, 10:36

11 Feb 2015, 04:09 #58

Thankfully I haven't missed this post. Thanks parker.
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