tyger92000gold
tyger92000gold

May 17th, 2003, 2:48 am #76

Have you ever .... ? Yep, almost all of them (my favorite is checking public ashtrays for half-finished butts). Can't believe I would do this? (The shame of it if someone should see me). Well, I did, because I am an addict.

One month, one week, two days, 16 hours, 1 minute and 23 seconds. 793 cigarettes not smoked, saving $148.75. Life saved: 2 days, 18 hours, 5 minutes.
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StepperM
StepperM

May 26th, 2003, 9:37 am #77

This one really opened my eyes about a month agojust shortly after I joined.
Since we've had a lot of newbies join in the past month I thought I'd bring it to the top. This thread really showed me because I've done many of these shameful addict things. THANKFULLY, I don't do them anymore because I'm FREE!!
What have you done, to quote OBob in message #1: "Which brings me to the point of this little parade. Many of us have found ourselves in a situation where cigarettes suddenly weren't easily available. Maybe we were trying to quit... maybe we ran out late at night... Maybe we were on a boat, and accidentally dropped our cigarettes in the river... or couldn't find a lighter.... At times like these, we found ourselves in the shoes of "less acceptable addicts"; Desperate for a fix"?

Freegirl
I am free from sic nic for 1 Month, 2 Weeks, 4 Days, 23 hours and 43 minutes (48 days).
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OBob Gold
OBob Gold

June 11th, 2003, 11:42 am #78

Have you ever allowed your wife to swear a solemn oath (on something important to her) to your mother that you don't smoke, knowing full well that you do, just to keep your dirty little secret, secret?

I have. I am an addict.
...but a free one now,
Bob (17 months free)
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LCubed(GreenX2)
LCubed(GreenX2)

June 11th, 2003, 11:00 pm #79

I am an addict

After the blizzard of '96 with 3ft of snow on the ground I walked half way down a mountain to get to the country store to buy cigarettes and then walked back up the mountain to go home, the trip took me 3 hours to go 2 miles. I was so out of breath that I physically could not smoke when I got back in the house but I was okay because I had my cigarettes.

Yes I am an addict, free now but still an addict.
Laura
Smokefree 2 months 4 days 14 hours.
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BubblyDoodlebug Gold
BubblyDoodlebug Gold

June 11th, 2003, 11:25 pm #80

Have you ever been at work and been hungry but you only have enough for either food or a pack of smokes and you buy the smokes and go hungry the whole shift? I have I am and addict Have you ever been in the hospital and they won't let you smoke and you begin to cry big crocodile tears? I have I am an addict ONE MORE Have you ever wrote a check for smokes hoping you get paid before the check comes through so you don't have to pay a $25.00 service charge @ the bank and another one at the store? I have I am an addict I have ended up paying $53.84 for one pack of smokes. Sad part is at the time it was worth it!
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John (Gold)
John (Gold)

June 11th, 2003, 11:29 pm #81

In 1987 I fractured my knee while skating and spent a week in the hospital with surgery and recovery. Although in substantial pain and under the influence of some pretty heavy drugs, I was somehow able to navigate numerous trips to the stair-well to feed what seemed like the overpowering influence for yet another drug. My name is John and I'm a comfortably recovered nicotine addict
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BubblyDoodlebug Gold
BubblyDoodlebug Gold

June 11th, 2003, 11:45 pm #82

I was in a bad car accident December 21, 2001. A guy was trying to get away from the police and drove right in front of me. My car was totalled. My car smashed into this car I was smoking at the time I was in so much pain sitting there still holding the cig. took a drag and threw the rest out the window. Was taken to the hospital I had broke my foot and was banged up bad. They fixed me up and was taken home. It was way below zero that night, I was using a walker because of my injuries I couldn't use crutches. I couldn't smoke at the hospital. About an hour after I got home I hobbled up a small flight of stairs went outside to smoke a cig. because no smoking is allowed in my home ever at all no excuse. I endured horrible physical pain and below zero temps holding on to my walker so I wouldn't fall over to smoke. The next day I was even in more pain and still yet I went up those stairs and outside to smoke. This is sad, I waited three days to take a shower. Why? It was to painful. I did that I am an addict
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Grace
Grace

June 12th, 2003, 1:37 am #83

Have you ever?
As I write this I have big tears in my eyes and they are definately going to spill right on out. This is a thread I have not read before and for me it is the most powerful one I have read thus far. I am not sure why I am having such a reaction to it but it is one that without a doubt will be with me forever. Reading through the posts I see myself in each of them and it just breaks my heart to realize the lengths I would go in order to feed my addiction.
I think one of the worst for me is dropping a cigarette while driving down the freeway during heavy traffic and bending over to do the "sramble" to get it before it sets my carpet on fire and looking up to realize that I am about to hit a rather large semi head on. I think my angel was right there with me because the semi pulled to his right while I swerved back to my own lane just in time.(If one of you is the trucker I almost drove into I am very sorry, you will no doubt remember me.....it was really close) I swore to myself I was never going to smoke again, I got home, ran the pack of cigarettes under my kitchen sink and then dropped them in the garbage where they stayed until later that night when I was trying to figure out the best way to dry them so I could feed my addiction.
I am so happy to be here with all of you and to know that as long as I never take another puff I will never be that person I was again. Grace...........I will be green on Friday the 13 at 7:45
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Mellodeegold
Mellodeegold

June 12th, 2003, 2:45 am #84

Boy I'm in good company. I thought I was the only one who did those things.
I have dug for butts, burnt holes in sofa, clothes too and lied as to who did it. I also paid someone a dollar for one cigarette in a casino, because I ran out and needed that nic fix for the ride home. Just some of the things I did because I am an addict.

Recovering and doing one day at a time, soon to be green.
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snapper
snapper

June 24th, 2003, 3:10 am #85

Have you ever... lied to everyone you knew for over a year while you smoked "just a cigar once in a while" (at least twice a day) hiding in the woods or stopped on the side of the road.... I have... I am an addict...

Snapper

I have been quit for 2 Weeks, 2 Days, 15 hours, 10 minutes and 54 seconds (16 days). I have saved $62.36 by not smoking 415 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 10 hours and 35 minutes of my life.
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Golddabler1
Golddabler1

June 24th, 2003, 3:48 am #86

Have you ever raided the garbage and dried wet cigarettes dampened by baked beans on the radiator.
Have you ever smoked in bed in the dark and got up frantically searching for hot ash in the covers.
I was a secret smoker and social smoker and there are friends of mine who have smoked longer and more often but those actions above show that i am a recovering addict
Have you ever continually brushed your teeth to hide the smell
Have you ever used carpet fragrance and furniture polish and air freshener to hide your addiction from visitors.
Rickdabler 3 months 2 weeks 16hrs 40mins happily nicotine free.
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wagongirl
wagongirl

June 24th, 2003, 11:01 pm #87

Have you ever been diagnosed with cancer and then gone straight outside to have a cigarette? Have you ever spent over an hour in one of your grad school lectures talking about head and neck cancer, looking at polyps on the vocal folds, only to go outside right afterwards to have a cigarette? Have you ever lied to your husband over and over again by letting him think you quit smoking months ago....only to go to the coffeeshop to feed your habit there...hoping he doesn't show up there too? And, like many others here, have you ever gone outside in the middle of a Minnesota winter when it's 20 below zero to smoke a cigarette, switching hands so one doesn't go without a mitten for too long? My favorite part about that one is that when I was doing that, a favorite classmate of mine looked at me and simply said, "You're stupid!" How right she was.

I've done each and every one of these things because I'm an addict.

Kimberly
Free from nicotine for 1 Week 4 Days 2 Hours 28 Minutes 23 Seconds! Yippee!
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Lyverbyrd
Lyverbyrd

July 4th, 2003, 9:50 pm #88

I'm sitting here shaking because I've done all these things. The only difference is from the post prior to mine; my diagnosis was diabetes.
Thank you for the recommendation to read this...I'll keep coming back. You're all so brave to say these things, I hope it rubs off on me too.
Last edited by Lyverbyrd on April 19th, 2009, 4:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
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nonicfrank
nonicfrank

October 14th, 2003, 4:07 am #89

DURING MY WEAK AND UNEDUCATED QUITS ONLY HOURS INTO THE QUIT I WOULD LOOK FOR SOMEONE TO THROW DOWN A CIG OUTSIDE A WAWA OR ANY STORE AND GO PICK IT UP AND SMOKE IT. THEN SHORTLY AFTER GO BUY A PACK. THANK GOD I DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT ANY MORE.

---
1m 3w 3d 21:31 smoke-free, 726 cigs not smoked, $186.95 saved, 2d 12:30 life saved
NONICFRANK
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OBob Gold
OBob Gold

October 14th, 2003, 6:41 am #90

Have you ever bummed smokes off a 16 year old... stifling the knowledge that it's wrong to contribute to a teenager's addiction by the tacit approval of sharing the fix with them. I have. I'm an addict.

But, one who's been free for over 21 months, and now serves as a better example.

Bob
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Shay
Shay

November 4th, 2003, 4:16 am #91

Have you ever been expelled from high school because you couldn't quit smoking during school? I was attending in-school suspension (I was there because I got caught smoking at school) and the urge was unbearable. I was in a PORTABLE building and went into the bathroom and smoked an entire cig in a minute or so, I remember I was so buzzed I couldn't see. Needless to say, the entire building filled with smoke and that was my last day of high school. I have since continued my education but it is amazing how poisonous my addiction has been.

Shay
16 days
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Debaria Silver1
Debaria Silver1

November 4th, 2003, 4:32 am #92

Have you ever screamed at one of your kids, telling them that they couldn't possibly love you, because they wouldn't give you money to buy a pack of cigarettes? I have because I am a recovering addict. My daughter reminded me of this on Saturday, when I turned GREEN!!!

Debaria-Green1
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Jeff 74 Gold
Jeff 74 Gold

November 4th, 2003, 4:33 am #93

I have broken up cigarettes and thrown them away. The next day I would get them out of the trash and tape them together and smoke them. I done this more times than I remember.

I have stopped at rest areas on the way to work, an hour commute, to smoke. That kept my car from smelling like smoke, it also allowed me to continue to smoke when my girlfriend thought I quit.

I have smoked in my garage so much that the outside of my car smelled like smoke. I went to a friends house and parked in the garage because I was spending the night. In the morning the whole garage smelled like smoke from the outside of my car. That was after a 30 minute drive.

I have rinsed my mouth, hair, and hands with vineagar to get rid of the tobacco odor. It works wonders, but the smell is still in your lungs. I have kissed several nonsmokers before and was pleasantly surprised that they did not know I smoked. However, a few hours later they are wondering why their mouth tastes like tobacco. I don't understand it but it is true. They couldn't figure it out because I was a closet smoker and I would go the whole evening without smoking.
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SilverLinz1
SilverLinz1

November 4th, 2003, 5:33 am #94

Before I went back to school last year, I lived for 9 months in a loft with 3 other broke bummy wannabe bohemian types. 3 of us were smokers, and for a few months, all unemployed smokers. During one fine December cold snap (-20 C, 3 feet of snow on the ground), having spent literally our last penny, we loaded up a shopping cart full of empty beer bottles from a big party, carried it down a flight of steep stairs and pushed it 4 blocks through inches of snow and ice. We got about $10 dollars for our trouble. We had had no food and no smokes all day. As you can imagine, we didn't spend our $10 on groceries. (Though we used the $3 left over from the pack of smokes to buy 2 slices of pizza). You see, we were addicts and couldn't think about getting food until we had taken care of our bigger need...the need for a fix. It is with this same motley crew that I first learned the trick of collecting butts from an ashtray, opening them and rolling a cigarette with any disgusting, burnt scraps of tobacco we could scape off. (This also only worked after we'd visitors or a party, because we all smoked our cigs down to the filter.) What is shocking now is not that this happened--we were addicts--but that it ever seemed normal.

Linz - Free and Healing for One Month, Seventeen Days, 17 Hours and 37 Minutes, extending my life expectancy 1 Day and 15 Hours, by not smoking 477 nicotine delivery devices and saving $153.05.
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CKAgger Gold.ffn
CKAgger Gold.ffn

November 4th, 2003, 5:47 am #95

Hi Linz,

yes, rolling cigarettes with butts from ashtrays and smoking them just to get the nicotine (any nicotine) to get rid of the cravings ...
I nearly forgot ever having done that - congratulations for having quit
Thank God I quit ...
Carsten
--
I have been quit for 3 Months, 2 Weeks, 2 Days, 21 hours and 47 minutes (108 days). I have saved kr 5.554,28 by not smoking 3.267 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Week, 4 Days, 8 hours and 15 minutes of my life.
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Eeyore6083
Eeyore6083

December 6th, 2003, 9:15 am #96

Have you ever smoked a cigarette at a restaurant at the birthday party of the girl you used to babysit knowing she looked to you as an example? I have, because I'm an addict.

Have you ever let smoking destroy your college career as an athlete? I have, because I'm an addict?

This is a great exercise. I have to think of more.

Thanks,
Jane
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DlunyGOLD
DlunyGOLD

December 6th, 2003, 9:27 am #97

Have you ever "asked for the short" from someone you hardly know (the short being the part that he doesn't smoke)? I did this about 3 or 4 years ago when I was in a situation when I was homeless for several weeks because I am an addict!

Have you ever found yourself in a strange city with 6 cigarettes and $10 to your name with no food and no money for 2 days and spent a goodly portion of your remaining money on a pack of smokes? I have because I am an addict!

Have you ever picked up unsmoked cigarettes from the ground/parking lot/street, brushed them off and smoked them? I have because I am an addict!

Have you ever walked up to perfect strangers on the street and bummed a cigarette? I have because I am an addict!

And there are many other examples of my addictive behavior I could name but all I can say tonight is THANK YOU GOD for showing me a BETTER WAY!!!!

Thanks for bringing this thread back to the top. While I am not proud of any othe examples I gave or did not give, today I know that I have a recovery plan that says that I will not smoke today.

yqb, David Four weeks, 11 hours, 26 minutes and 3 seconds. 512 cigarettes not smoked, saving $38.44. Life saved: 1 day, 18 hours, 40 minutes.
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davesaddiction2003
davesaddiction2003

December 6th, 2003, 10:12 am #98

Have you ever quit smoking one night by throwing your tobacco in the kitchen waste bin............and started again the next morning by "recovering" that same tobacco from the bin.......I have......I'm an addict!!!!

(More of this "trying to quit" story I wrote on O Bob-Golds "One Puff Files" thread this evening...British Time)

O Bob (I can't write that name without laughing) you seem to be everywhere tonight (should see a doctor about that!)

DAVID - Free and Healing for One Month, Five Days, 1 Hour and 35 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 3 Days and 15 Hours, by avoiding the use of 1052 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me £79.01.
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OBob Gold
OBob Gold

December 6th, 2003, 10:22 am #99

Yes, I have. I've "quit" by throwing them into the middle of a busy street, on the roof, in the bin, in the hedge, in the hedge at the gym, on the neighbor's roof.... and I've returned to each place to reclaim my "junk" and get it in as quickly as I could put match to partially damaged (half-crushed, water-damaged, snail/slug-damaged) ciggie. I've done that 'cause I'm an addict. Blows my mind sometimes... but there it is, crystal-clear evidence that I'm 100% addict, and as such, that I'm one puff away from returning to my subserviance to that addiction.

As for the name, you'd laugh harder if you knew the history behind it... but I'll keep that to myself.
Bob (23 months free)
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libertyetv
libertyetv

December 8th, 2003, 2:10 pm #100

I just posted this somewhere else, but it definitely belongs here for future eyes to see..

Have you ever given birth to a baby, got dressed later on that night and walked to the store a block from the hospital because you were out of smokes? I have, I'm an addict.
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