Puffanomore
Puffanomore

December 9th, 2010, 11:08 pm #261

Thanks Ben for bringing this up again - it's ages since I first found this, then lost its whereabouts.
I think it would do me good to wallow in some of the despicable things that my nicotine addiction made me do. So here goes:-

The first 2 quits ended when I had family members who smoked staying in my house. I thought I was secure enough at that time so I allowed smoking in the house but didn't realise that when they left packets of cigs around I would turn into a sneak thief! I started waiting until they had gone to bed and then helping myself. I would only take one cig. if there were plenty left in the packet so it wouldn't be missed. I would have a few crafty puffs during the day but save most of the cig for last thing when I would take my dogs for a walk in the woods. The first deep drag made me so giddy I actually fell down! did that stop me? **** no! I just couldn't wait until the next day to steal another.

My 3rd quit ended when I started stealing cigarette butts from the ashtrays I was cleaning up after my AA meeting! one wealthy lady would only take 2 puffs before stubbing her cigarette out - those butts were like gold! How low can a girl sink?

A lot of my clothes had small burns in them from when hot bits of ash dropped off the end of a cigarette. I remember covering up one such a hole in my favourite jacket with a pretty brooch.

My last canine family was a mother and her 2 pups; she died of old age, having seen both her sons die prematurely of cancer. I will always wonder how much my smoking contributed to that and feel dreadful guilt. My present 2 dogs have lived half their lives with a smoker but I hope their second half will remain un-polluted.

I first decided to quit when by daughter was around 14. I chose that time because that is the age when the youngsters here tend to start smoking and I wanted to set her a good example. I couldn't do what my Mum did and lecture me about not smoking while continuing the habit herself. I survived for nearly 3 years that time but then started again as mentioned above. For many weeks I got away with it but one day I was returning home from the shops in my car, smoking a sneaky cigarette, when I got caught in a traffic jam and saw my daughter, who should have been in school but was out on some errand with a bunch of her class-mates. To my acute embarrassment, she spotted me first and shouted out loudly "Mother - you're smoking again!". OMG should have been the other way round, not teenage daughter ticking off middle-aged mum.

I am not by nature dishonest, or a thief, but my nicotine addiction was stronger by far than my moral sense of right and wrong. Thank God it is all in the past and I can live clean and honest and with integity.
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PeppermintPatty
PeppermintPatty

December 10th, 2010, 5:30 pm #262

Have you ever watched your sister die of cancer from smoking for 4 months and still continue to smoke
Have you ever lied to your dying sister telling her you would quit and still continued to smoke - broken so many promises I can't count
Have you ever lied to your children, your husband, your friends and still continued to smoke
Have you ever made a deal with God - and didn't live up to your end of it
Have you ever been so jealous of someone smoking that you ran to the store, bought your pack and sat in a corner with you smokes getting even
I have - I'm an addict each and every day - NTAP -
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symbeeo
symbeeo

January 5th, 2011, 10:09 pm #263

I have bad teeth. I used to think it was genetics, but I'm pretty sure dousing my mouth with poisonous gas 20 or more time a day didn't help anything.
A few months back I had to have another tooth pulled. I have had many pulled and would get a "dry socket" every time. When I told the dental nurse this - She said, "...that's what you get if you want to smoke during the first three days." Dry sockets HURT, so this time I pinched one nostril shut and stuck the cigarette up the other nostril. Then I could inhale my fix through my nose without loosening the clot in my mouth. This is disgusting and felt disgusting and tasted disgusting.

I thought I was so smart because this was the first time in my life I didn't get a dry socket.

I AM AN ADDICT and I have been quit for 5 Days, 14 hours, 57 minutes and 11 seconds (5 days). I have saved $17.34 by not smoking 73 cigarettes. I have saved 6 hours and 5 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 12/30/2010 11:00 PM
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Herman1331
Herman1331

February 2nd, 2011, 11:32 pm #264

Have you ever not had a lighter been running late for work so you lit your cigarette on the stove, then before disposing of your cigarette you grabbed a fresh cigarette and lit the new cigarette with the old one for fear that you wouldn't find a lighter in your car?  I have because I am an addict.
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schmaltz
schmaltz

February 7th, 2011, 4:36 pm #265

and grabbed some butts out of  public ashtray cause you had no money to pay for them at the time , and trying to do it as fast and inconspicuously as you could , so anybody near you wouldn't believe they saw you do  what you just did....

Well I did.
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jrock413
jrock413

February 24th, 2011, 10:06 pm #266

Did you ever reflect on the times you took cigarette butts out of public ashtrays when you were out of money to buy them, but then in better financial times you would carefully snuff out a partially smoked cigarette in a public ashtray with the expectation that it WOULD get picked out by someone else who MIGHT NEED IT?  

Its the warped sense of charity and giving back that can only be understood by an addict.  I have done/thought this.   
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msanders
msanders

February 25th, 2011, 3:24 pm #267

Have you ever left your wife laboring in a hospital bed, within minutes of delivery, so you could run outside for one more cigarette?

I have. I'm an addict.

Have you ever shooed your kids away, just because playing with them or reading to them would not allow you to smoke?

I have. I'm an addict.
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NoNic4Neal
NoNic4Neal

February 25th, 2011, 8:29 pm #268

Wow,
I read a lot of this thread and it brought back memories I would have rather not remembered. I'm guilty of many of the same things. I remember my young daughter reaching up to hold my hand and grabbing my lit cigarette. I remember my Golden Retriever excited to see me and ran up on my blind side and got a lit cigarette right on his eye ball. I had to take.him outside and use snow to cool his eye. I still smoked another cigarette on the way to the vets office. I took butts out of public ashtrays when desperate. I also rolled home made cigarettes out of tobacco I got from butts in the ash tray. I left part of my lips on a few cigs when my lips were chapped, and once I walked thru hurricane force wind, rain, and floods to get to a bar that was still open and could hook up their generator to the cigarette vending machine. Why ? Because I was a helpless nicotine addict, but not for the last one month and 15 days. YQB Neal
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gsguru
gsguru

March 3rd, 2011, 11:43 pm #269

Great bump of this thread...

Have you ever:
Asked your daughter for a cigarette, standing in the patient pick up lane, after spending 5 days in the ICU for having a heart attack (at 47) with my daughter by my side the entire time and couldn't look her in the eye because I was killing myself... humbled and embarassed.

Free for 1 month!! woohoo....
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Joined: November 11th, 2008, 7:22 pm

March 4th, 2011, 1:24 pm #270

Man pleads guilty to burglary,
blames  break-in on need for nicotine
March 3, 2011 - WinonaDailyNews.com


A La Crescent, Minn., man in need of a nicotine fix in July pleaded guilty Wednesday morning to third-degree burglary.

Ura Miller, 32, admitted he used a screwdriver July 27 to break into another resident's room at Mosher Veterans Home in Dakota, Minn., while he searched for cigarettes.

"I knew where some were hidden," he said.

He admitted he did not have permission to enter the resident's room.

A report issued by investigators at the Winona County Sheriff's Office shows Miller broke into a resident's room by removing the door from the hinges.

Miller was placed on probation. He will remain in the Winona County Jail until he is transferred to an adult foster-care facility in Plainview, Minn.

Two other counts of burglary were dismissed Wednesday as part of the plea agreement.

Miller will be sentenced April 7 before Judge Mary Leahy.
Copyright 2011 winonadailynews.com. All rights reserved

Story Source Link
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garden joe
garden joe

August 4th, 2011, 6:47 pm #271

Have you ever spent hours at work reading a huge list of horribly anti-social behaviors and realize that the only ones you haven't done are the ones you never had the opportunity to do?  I have.

For me the answers to this post go something like this;
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
No, but only because I don't have a child.
Yes.
Yes.
ect.....

Scary, but thanks to all for letting me know that I'm not the only one.  It helps.

Have you spent an hour in hospice playing guitar to help fill the silence while your best friends sat waiting for their emmaciated (3 pack a day) father to die of lung cancer, then excused yourself because you couldn't wait any longer for a fix?  I have.  And I kept smoking for years after.

Joe - Free and Healing for Twenty Seven Days, 22 Hours and 45 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 2 Days and 21 Hours, by avoiding the use of 838 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $336.18.
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alan
alan

October 4th, 2011, 5:39 pm #272

Have you ever reached over the edge of a 500 foot high cliff in the smoky mountains to grab the pack of cigarettes you dropped that rolled off the edge and got caught on a protruding branch?  I have because I'm an addict. 

Alan - Free and Healing for Three Months, 13 Hours and 38 Minutes
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dtrain
dtrain

October 11th, 2011, 7:45 pm #273

Have you ever kept an old shirt and an old jacket in your car to slip into so that when you drove and smoked, the smell would not get on your clean shirt.  The only reason you would do this is because not only were you an addict, but you didn't want anyone to know you were an addict. 

Did you ever have have one gas station in which you bought gas, soda, etc but another gas station that you bought only cigarettes at because you didn't want the people at 1 station to know you smoked.

I used to do stuff like this alot.  I was a closet addict.  Now I am just an addict.  I've been free of nicotene for 14days.

Dtrain
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KarRus
KarRus

October 12th, 2011, 10:49 am #274

Have you every put on a long wool coat, gloves, hat and scarf went outside in 5 degress with a 30 mph wind chill factor? And stood there shivering so you could smoke a cigarette?  I have many times because I'm an addict.

Karen

Free for 10 days.....
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QuitterInReno
QuitterInReno

October 18th, 2011, 2:31 am #275

Oh wow -- this same thread with different postings exists under the Celebrations sub-forum.  So I'm copying mine here:

Have you ever been at work and found partially smoked cigarettes in an ashtray with lipstick stains on them and smoked them?  And you don't wear lipstick?  I have, I'm an addict.

Have you ever worked for the American Cancer Society, but would go on little breaks and walk around the block so no one would see you smoking?  I have, I'm an addict.

Have you ever decided you would quit smoking on your vacation and left without your smokes, then cut the vacation short and came back the next day because you needed a cigarette?  I have, I'm an addict.

Have you ever had a brand new car with that great new car smell, that had never been smoked in; then you started smoking and you'd use plastic coke bottles half filled with water as an ashtray and smoke in the car with the windows rolled down (and it was 35 degrees outside)... then you'd have this disgusting thing filled with butts and your nice new car stank anyway?  I have, I'm an addict.

Have you ever smoked in your car, and the lit end of the cigarette fell into the car, and you burned your fingers picking it up to throw it outside before it burned a hole in the seat?  I have, I'm an addict.

Have you ever had a cigarette on the front porch late at night, put the cigarette out in a planter box... and the next morning go outside to find that the wooden planter box has been smoking and smoldering all night and half of the planter slats are now coals, and you were that close to BURNING DOWN YOUR HOUSE?

Have you ever been released from the hospital after surgery which left you with just 1/2 of ONE lung still functioning, and told the cab driver taking you home that if he didn't give you a smoke, you'd get another cab?  My grandfather did, he was an addict.

Wow... this is really awful!

Jennifer - One Month, Four Days
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Dave W
Dave W

May 22nd, 2012, 2:14 pm #276

Have you ever pretended to walk the dog to have a cig then douse yourself in cologne,  with the insane thought that your wife wouldnt know you had started smoking again ( or smell it on you) after a quit attempt.
I have because I was an addict!!!

As of today I am 14 days free, havent smoked 282 cigs, saving $81.00 and reclaiming 1 day, 4 hours and 12 minutes

Not taking another puff

Dave
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Mardan59
Mardan59

April 2nd, 2014, 7:31 pm #277

Have you ever put a cigarette in your mouth, lit it, then realized you already had a lit cigarette in your other hand?....I have, more times than I care to remember, because I am an addict.

Mary
Free for 1 year, two months and two days!
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KayS
KayS

April 8th, 2014, 2:36 pm #278

Have you ever sat on a bench in the street outside your house late at night, ripped up your last cigarettes and thrown them under the bench, then in the morning raced outside in the pouring rain ( in your dressing gown) and rescued them, praying to any God that one of them might be dry.  Or, have you ever, having sworn before you went to bed that you were never going to smoke again, crept downstairs in the middle of the night and searched the house for your landlady's cigarette packet and stolen one, as well as pinching all the butts from the ashtray at the same time.  Or have you trawled late night coffee bars - any downbeat place will do - because you can't smoke at home the way you want to.  I have, because I am an addict.


Kay, free since 24 Feb 13
Last edited by KayS on April 8th, 2014, 2:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Joined: November 11th, 2008, 7:22 pm

April 29th, 2014, 11:44 am #279

Today we are featuring OBob's 2002 Despirate Addicts Parade on WhyQuit's Facebook page.    If a visitor wishing to share your own response, we invite you to share it there: 

https://www.facebook.com/Why.Quit.Now/p ... 6259699958

Millions of words at WhyQuit's sites but only one guiding principle determining the outcome for all ... no nicotine just one hour, challenge and day at a time!  Just that first brave step in saying "no" to the wanting for that next fix, yes you can!!

Breathe deep, hug hard, live long,

John - Gold x14  
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Mommiana
Mommiana

June 4th, 2014, 3:25 pm #280

Have you ever....
Went into labor with contractions 2 minutes apart and stood outside of the hospital "tanking up" on 3-4 cigarettes in a row before going in to deliver? 

Have you ever...
Felt relief when the nurses came to get your 14 hours old newborn baby girl for an assessment so you could sneak away and hobble downstairs in severe pain for a cigarette, all the while holding your cesarean staples praying they wouldn't pop open? And, praying the nurses wouldn't catch you, and praying your never-smoker husband wouldn't pick that time for a visit?

Have you ever...
Breasfed your babies while actively taking in nicotine?

~ Christy

I have been quit for 1 Month, 1 Week, 5 Days, 2 hours, 1 minute and 5 seconds (43 days). I have saved $227.48 by not smoking 861 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Days, 23 hours and 45 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 4/22/2014 9:24 AM

 
Last edited by Mommiana on June 4th, 2014, 4:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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ecilA
ecilA

August 4th, 2014, 4:50 pm #281

Wow! All these other posts are so familiar. Okay, so here's mine...

I work from home and used to smoke all day, every day at my desk while working on the computer.

 In order to "hide" the vast amount of cigs I smoked from my husband, I would keep a small ashtray on my desk and make scrupulously sure that there were only 2 or 3 butts in there at any one time. But -  I would keep a secre, hidden stash of hundreds of butts in a trash bag in the office bathroom, which I would bag up ( after going through them all to find the longest butts) and drive to a public waste dump to dispose of them so he woudn't see or smell them in the regular trash outside our house. Geez, I am a serious, conniving nicotine addict.

Thank god I have been free of this horrible disease for 17 days, 9 hours ansd 42 mins and 23 seconds. Hallelujah!!
Last edited by ecilA on August 4th, 2014, 5:10 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Red79
Red79

February 14th, 2016, 11:39 pm #282

"Have you ever....left your young child alone in a hospital bed so you could go outside for your 'fix'....I have, I'm an addict."

I have done this and rationalised at the time that it was the stress due to my child being in the hospital.
When I ran out and couldn't go to the store by the hospital because it was shut, I smoked the butts left behind by other addicts, even whilst thinking about what germs might be on them.

I am a recovering addict!
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Red79
Red79

February 15th, 2016, 12:00 am #283

Have you ever started an argument with loved ones during a quit on purpose so that you had an excuse to relapse after you walked out of the door, knowing before you started the argument you were going to buy cigarettes? I have, because I'm an addict.

Have you ever had your one year old chew a cigarette and vomit everywhere so hard that you had to call poison control to see if they would be Ok?
We're you having a smoke while you were making that call?

I have, because I'm an addict.
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