Desperate Addicts Parade: Have You Ever...

Ilona
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

08 Sep 2008, 06:45 #251

Every time I read this post, I remember when:

I first started smoking at the age of 17. I hadn't yet bought my own pack or lighter (I didn't realize I was addicted) and used to dig around my mom's ashtray trying to find the longest smokable butts and then furtively light them on various kitchen appliances. I once burnt my chin lighting a very short butt on the stove. I think I lost a few nose-hairs and eyelashes as well. Another time, I tried lighting a butt with the toaster (don't try this at home). The butt slipped in and started to toast. I stuck my fingers in to try to recue it but then let it go when Mom suddenly entered the kitchen and asked what the smell was. I pretended it was toast. She left and I saw the butt had caught fire so I turned the toaster upside down and started shaking it furiously. Now all the crumbs caught fire. I nearly burnt down the kitchen...

I was mortified by these desperate acts but would have sooner suffered these humiliations than admit I was a desperate addict. What a strong grip nicotine has!!!!!!!

Ilona
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Doc2474
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

17 Nov 2008, 22:37 #252

Ever tried to light a smoke from a hot lightbulb because you had no gas in your lighter?

That having failed, ever tried to light a smoke from just the spark from the lighter by continuously flipping the wheel?

Ever wondered what the funny burning smell in the car was, only to discover a hole in your clothes when you took them off?

Ever thought it was cool to be able to blow smoke rings?

Ever had the cig stick to your lips when taking it from your mouth, thus burning between your fingers. And then making your lip bleed pulling the cig off?

Ever looked at your cig and wondered exactly where the hot end had fallen off and whose coat it was stuck to the back of?
Or burnt your fingers trying to pick it up off a friend's carpet?


Doc
34 days
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epigal1
Joined: 09 Jan 2009, 23:27

18 Nov 2008, 05:26 #253

Have you ever been that sick that you could hardly breath but managed to draw back on a ciggie (but only just)
I have im a drug addict
Have you ever been out smoking when your 2 and 3 year old come over for a cuddle and you just push them away and tell them to come back later
I have im a drug addict
Have you ever been up and down the road looking for a strangers thrown out smokable Ciggie.
I have im a drug addict
Have you ever bought a pack after a relapse, had just two then thrown the packet out only to be in that same area one hour later looking all over the place to find them to have JUST one more
I have im a drug addict
Have you ever told your husband that you have quit and then spend the next month smoking behind his back, finding every excuse under the sun to go to the shops so you can have a smoke and then have to find a public toilet with a soap despenser so you can scrub your face and ever rinse your mouth with it.
I have im a drug addict
Have you ever been pregnant and tried to hide your stomach from people as to stood behind your car in a car park to get your fix. Couldn't smoke at home because no one else knows that you are smoking again
I have im a drug addict
Have you ever burnt nearly all the hair on you face trying to light a smoke off the stove
I have im a drug addict
Have you ever kept your distance from your own children spent most of the day on the outside looking in as they played and you stood outside smoking ciggies. Then to make it worse have the right to yell at them for making a mess of the house
I have Im a drug addict.

TO MY TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN, Wren and Lior I promise to never abuse you like that again

Epigal 12 days
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jinx
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

18 Nov 2008, 22:16 #254

Wow, the memories!!! Great thread.

Ever set your (acrylic) finger nails on fire while trying to light a cigarette?

Ever sat at the Nurses station smoking while charting on your patient's?

23 days free........................
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Chipits GOLD.FreedomFromTobaccoQuitSmokingNow
Joined: 18 Jan 2009, 18:47

13 Sep 2009, 22:56 #255

[img]file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/Owner/My%20Documents/GIFS/bump.gif[/img]ImageAlmost a year since this thread has been circulated. Some powerful, pitiful and poignant portraits of addiction are penned. Sobering reading, for sure. Makes me so glad I have forgiven myself for my own pathetic actions I was guilty of when I was a smoker.

Have you ever spent more time outside smoking with the small number of smoking guests at your wedding reception, than inside enjoying the fellowship and fun? We did. We planned our honeymoon around places where we could still smoke. How limiting. How pathetic.

Only too well we remember the angst of being on the fence of indecision. Only too well we remember the relief at having finally quit. Now that our addiction desperation is in the past, "Let us all STAND TALL and be PROUD." as QS Melrose is known to say.

Wendy&RandyImageUsing our smarts!Healing our parts! for 3 yrs.2m & 2 yrs.9 m.[img]file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/Owner/My%20Documents/GIFS/bump.gif[/img]
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Krissy
Joined: 04 Mar 2010, 14:55

26 Mar 2010, 15:52 #256

Have you ever dug in the nasty public ashtray at your apt complex and smoked people's butts to avoid going to the store and buying cigs so as not to be a smoker?  Have you ever bought a pack, smoked half and then torn up the rest, only to dig them out of the trash later to salvage a few puffs?  I have.  I'm an addict. 

But today, I'm free!!  Image

Krissy - Free and Healing for Twenty Five Days, 10 Hours and 56 Minutes by avoiding the use of 509 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost me $152.89.
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KRSPND
Joined: 27 Mar 2010, 22:43

27 Apr 2010, 18:16 #257

~ Awesome Thread!!! ~

Have you ever given birth without 'drugs' cause you don't like 'drugs' and 'medicine'
then complained you couldn't smoke for three days while in the hospital?
I HAVE, I'M AN ADDICT!

Have you ever
given birth (3 kids and 9 yrs later) and told the nurse you were just too exhausted to get up and walk around right now,
then, when you found out they actually let you get dressed and go outside, THREE FLOORS DOWN and around the entire building to smoke
you were practically RUNNING to the elevator?
I HAVE, I AM AN ADDICT!!

Have you ever sat outside the hospital (being the patient) and chain smoke cause you knew you were going to be getting your brand new baby for the entire night and you wouldn't be able to leave?
I HAVE BECAUSE I AM AN ADDICT!!!

~and yes the hospital really did let us new mommys go outside TO SMOKE!!!~

*Funny thing* is I was just wondering why I even had my cigs with me ... then I realized it was so I could smoke as soon as I got outta there ...
while my husband put the baby in the car seat and fit the new car seat in the car and belted it in ... hey there was time to smoke TWO while he made sure the baby was safe!!!

Have you ever been in a wedding party and stuck a lighter and a cig in your bra and another cig in your bouquet, so you could smoke immediately after the ceremony ended? It's ONLY about an hour long ~ but I needed TWO!!!
I HAVE BECAUSE I AM A NICOTINE ADDICT!!!!

[img]file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/Iamlost/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/moz-screenshot.png[/img]
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John Touch
Joined: 19 Oct 2010, 15:46

24 Oct 2010, 18:41 #258

Have you ever scraped up moldy rolling tobacco spilled behind a couch on someones front porch, cleaned out the rat droppings, crushed and worked a piece of brown paper bag until it was plyable and rolled your tobacco treasure up and smoked up while holding the brown paper together because it wouldn't stick?

Have you ever snuck a drag off of someones cigarette when they left the room and sucked spit bubbles, grossed out, then took another drag?

I did this and more as a teenager. I am a nicotine addict. But I vow to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF.


I am John - Free and Healing for Eight Days, 11 Hours and 40 Minutes, while extending my life expectancy 14 Hours.
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stratsquire
Joined: 29 Nov 2010, 15:16

06 Dec 2010, 16:45 #259

Okay, the only way to maybe get this thread going again is to come 100% clean...

Have you ever made friends feel bad about their own quit just because you couldn't stand to smoke alone?
Hav you ever borrowed money from your family and friends and told them it was for food when you really were buying cigarettes and foregoing food for days on end?
Have you ever gone to clean your house and found, on your desk, a full ash tray that overflowed onto the desk, with about three soda cans also full of butts, with ashes all over the desk and computer keyboard, and one or two beer bottles completely FULL of butts, and about five or six buts that had fallen from the ashtray to to the table to the floor?
Have you ever stopped to think about your poor pet who was involuntarily present for all of those smokes?
Have you ever told someone you loved that "the world is full of non-smokers--if you feel so strongly about it why not break up with me and find one of them to date" and then had her actually do it the next day?
Have you ever destroyed what was once a pretty good singing voice by smoking non-stop for years?
Have you ever left a memorial service for a friend who had died of lung cancer just long enough to smoke two back-to-back, then returned and had to hug the decedent's two crying adult daughters while you reeked of smoke?

I have done all of these things. I am a nicotine addict. I promised myself 10 days and 8.5 hours ago that I would wake up every morning for the rest of my life and vow to not administer nicotine to myself that day, and go to bed each night that I was successful and smile, knowing that that gave me my best chance to NTAP. Thanks to everyone who posted to this thread over the past decade. It is the most powerful one I have seen and it helps to keep me on my guard when my quit starts to feel easy.

Strat
(Ben)
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tess99
Joined: 20 Oct 2010, 04:03

07 Dec 2010, 06:20 #260

Thanks Ben for bring that up to the top of the pile again, there is so much great reading on this site - very edgy and intelligent. I guess we all confront our demons in one way or another when facing drug withdrawal, and it makes for some very insightful and poignant writing. In my weeks of reading here it hadn't occurred to me to reply to an old but interesting topic so that it would be on page one for us newbies - will do so now. What a great topic! Will add some of my own once I've read the whole thing. Tess 
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