Days I just wanted to Die

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

15 Jul 2003, 19:50 #11

Wow! What a great post to read this morning after having had a really rough time of it yesterday! Just a couple days ago I turned green and was feeling great and then boom.....yesterday I had my first serious thoughts of smoking again! Some of those thoughts were just what you were thinking early in your come I don't get to enjoy something like everyone else? Why do I have to give something up but my husband doesn't have to (he's never smoked)...Of course these are silly, but it's nice to know that someone who has had them can move so far past them!
Congrats on your success and thanks so very much for sharing!
Free from nicotine: 1 Month 1 Day 23 Hours 16 Minutes 57 Seconds
Last edited by wagongirl on 08 Mar 2009, 12:26, edited 1 time in total.

SweetLorraine (Gold)
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:59

15 Jul 2003, 20:59 #12

Terrific post Melissa, thank you for takng the time to share your thoughts and inspire others.
Your descriptions of the pain of quitting was so intense and accurate that it reminded me that I never, ever, want to go through that again.
Even as good as your quit feels now, it gets even better. What an amazing transformation takes place when we truly find Freedom.
Lorraine Gold club Image
Last edited by SweetLorraine (Gold) on 08 Mar 2009, 12:28, edited 1 time in total.

Shinelady Gold3282003
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:00

15 Jul 2003, 21:21 #13

Thanks MelissaImage
Thank you for sharing your own experiences with us. I know this classic post will help many newbies and oldbies alike for a long time to come. Can hardly wait to read your Gold post in a few short months. Again, thanks. We are doing it. All we have to do is Never Take Another Puff!!

yqs, sue (bronze)
Three months, two weeks, two days, 14 hours, 44 minutes and 43 seconds. 4344 cigarettes not smoked, saving $627.55. Life saved: 2 weeks, 1 day, 2 hours, 0 minutes.

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

15 Jul 2003, 21:35 #14


This was a wonderful post to read. Encouraging, truthful, empowering.

One month, four weeks, 21 hours, 43 minutes and 28 seconds. 1198 cigarettes not smoked, saving $371.41. Life saved: 4 days, 3 hours, 50 minutes.

Parker GOLD
Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

15 Jul 2003, 21:46 #15

What an astounding post, Melissa. Very empowering in its gut-wrenching honesty. Brings to mind the Santayana quote: "Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it." You are keeping those early days fresh and that is so important. Thank you for sharing powerful and inspiring memories.

And here's to never living through withdrawal again!!!!!!!!!!!

ImageParker - 13 months

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

15 Jul 2003, 22:08 #16

I love this heart felt post! I'm sending it to my daughter to read, she sill smokes and has expressed the same things you share here. Maybe someday something will hit that she can relate to and she'll join us here. She already talked to Joel but I don't think she's got enought gutts yet. But she will read it, so thanks!
One year, two months, one week, four days, 3 hours, 53 minutes and 51 seconds. 34972 cigarettes not smoked, saving $209,837.67. Life saved: 17 weeks, 2 days, 10 hours, 20 minutes.

Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

15 Jul 2003, 22:32 #17

Great post Melissa. Your observations of how you tried to make rational explanations for the totally irrational excuses people use in order to sustain smoking is classic. This is why it is often hard to try to have a rational conversation with a smoker who has no interest in quitting--their addiction has built in defense mechanisms making logical insights difficult to get across.
Here are a few strings that explore this process. I thought you would appreciate them:
"what a relief, I think I have cancer!"
I smoke because I'm self-destructive
you smoke because you're a smoke-a-holic!
I am glad you articulated your thoughts as clearly as you did illustrating this process. I want to point out that while the intensity of the feelings that you were experiencing was not uncommon, meaning there are some people who feel as desperate during the quitting process as you had felt, that there are also some people who quit with relative ease. Both reactions are normal.
I didn't want to scare people off who were just considering quitting who might not even try because the process seemed as if it would be too painful. Most people are not debilitated during the quitting process. But your insights go on to point out that even for people who do face more extreme reactions, it is still worth all of the time and effort and discomfort that went along with quitting--for the payoff is both great and life saving. To make all of the troubles that you initially went through worth the effort is as simple now as sticking to your commitment to never take another puff!
Last edited by Joel on 16 Apr 2009, 06:19, edited 1 time in total.

Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

16 Jul 2003, 01:32 #18

Wow, Melissa, thanks for writing such a real message. Beautiful, really. I take great comfort and inspiration from it ... and I know many, many more will read it with gratitude.
Again, thank you.

Three months, one week, one day, 14 hours, 46 minutes and 44 seconds. 1992 cigarettes not smoked, saving $373.56. Life saved: 6 days, 22 hours, 0 minutes.

aj 48
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

16 Jul 2003, 01:34 #19

All I have to say is... WOW! Thank-you for sharing this with us!
2days 1hr!3months

Ms MonaGolden1
Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:03

16 Jul 2003, 07:06 #20

Congratulations Melissa!

Thank you for sharing such heart-felt memories. I am sure that everyone can relate to some part of your experience. Just think, you will be Gold in no time at all.

I wish you all the best as you move onward and upward on your Quit Journey.

YQS (6M,1W,6D)
Last edited by Ms MonaGolden1 on 08 Mar 2009, 12:30, edited 1 time in total.