Dangerous Thoughts

Retraining the conscious mind

Dangerous Thoughts

Joined: 07 Jan 2009, 19:59

08 Mar 2007, 01:14 #1

I am 9 days and 2 hours smoke free. A 39 year smoker, I was diagnosed with early stage emphysema. Quit right away and am doing well and feeling much better. I keep having this subconscious thought, though, that scares me to death - "I'll be glad when all of this is over and I can get back to my normal life". My normal life being one of drinking and smoking to excess. And, I know full well that 'all of this' will never be over.

I refuse to let that happen, but the nagging thought keeps coming up. Is this normal - anyone else with a similar experience.

P.S. Great to be a member. I think "WhyQuit" may end up saving (or at least extending) my life.
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:04

08 Mar 2007, 01:51 #2

Congratulations on 9 days nicotine-free! Great job - keep going!

I think what you mean by "normal" might just be referring to not feeling so preoccupied by the idea of smoking vs. not smoking. And yes, that starts to get better in time and life resumes a more regular and "normal" routine again, only better beause it's not constantly interrupted by having to submit to Nicodemon's call for a nicotine fix. That freedom is truly awesome and is yours forever as long as you NTAP!!

Keep up the great work - we'll see you Green in no time!

Heidi - Double Green at 64 days of freedom from 25 years of slavery!
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

08 Mar 2007, 01:52 #3

This message has been deleted by the author.
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

08 Mar 2007, 02:11 #4

First of all, congratulations on your first nine days without smoking! You are doing tremendously well.
At the beginning of your quit, not smoking is still something that you have to work for, and it can be hard work, as we all know. For years, you "rewarded" yourself with a cigarette whenever you had finished any piece of work. So, "logically", you are now thinking that "when all this is over", you will get a cigarette.

There is no doubt that you can see the twist in this logic. I got through that without smoking! boy, I deserve a cigarette for that! is a good article to read.

Thank goodness, not only does the desire to smoke fade away with time, but also the Junkie thinking changes. Believe me, there will be a day when you won't want to smoke at all, and even better: You won't even realise that you haven't thought of smoking all day!

That day is not far away at all. Just stick with it. NTAP.

PinkFlowers
Sticking with it since 2 March 2005
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:44

08 Mar 2007, 06:37 #5

i think in my first 2 weeks i thought a lot everyday about how maybe one day i could smoke again. I have even thought " well..... if I get cancer later at least i can smoke again" ridiculas!!!!!!!! it was like two people in my head one tryng to convince the other. one wanting to give in and smoke, one wanting to be free from this heavy burden. back and forth i reasoned with myself. well here i am three weeks clean and now i catch myself maybe once every other day thinking a little about smoking. but just a little. no big urge ...just a little, small thought and when i notice im doing it i just go " no way, not going there" i think there must be a point a which we now choose to control our thoughts at the moment we notice what we are doing. you are right when you say " dangerous" dont allow yourself to roll unhelpful (dangerous) thoughts around in your head. acceptance, this is just how how it is! NTAP

I have been quit for 2 Weeks, 6 Days, 14 hours, 37 minutes and 35 seconds (20 days). I have saved $64.91 by not smoking 370 cigarettes. I have saved 1 Day, 6 hours and 50 minutes of my life. My Quit Date: 2/15/2007 12:00 AM
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

08 Mar 2007, 08:43 #6

You smoked for 39 years; you've been quit for 9 days. Is it "normal" to be having thoughts of smoking? Why, yes! Of course it is. You are an addict in the early days of recovery. Everything you do feels new and different and odd during the first days and weeks. Because smoking a cigarette and replenishing the nicotine in your system used to punctuate all your actions.

What you need to be doing is reading...reading...reading. You will find your feelings and your experiences and your hope in Joel's library and in countless posts in this forum. Be patient with your healing and trust that, with time, comfort will come. For now, you need to do some hard work to educate yourself and strengthen those quit muscles!

Keep focused on how much better you feel and know that you will continue to feel better as long as you choose to remain free. That's a promise!

Best wishes,
Parker - 4+ years
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Joined: 19 Dec 2008, 00:52

08 Mar 2007, 10:33 #7

Hey Bake

I read this post and had to reply to you. I am only a week and 5 days into my quit. My father is 66 years old and has emphysema. TRUST ME when I say it's one of the worst diseases to live with (can I make worst any bolder or bigger?) Years upon years of agony.
I know you're experiencing thoughts at the moment, but they are only thoughts. They can't do any damage. You are 10 days in!! That's something smokers are envious of! I can definitely relate to you because I have thoughts of smoking as well but as people here have said before, we become so trained to smoke and it's become so engrained in our mind, it's going to take some time to unlearn those habits. Totally normal. I'm right there with you in the same boat, but like those who have been thru this path before us, keep reading here on the forum, and continue to live life each day savoring the fact that, regardless of those thoughts you are having, you are free for as long as you want. Dont concentrate on the thoughts. Come to this forum instead and read read read!! and read some more! That's why I'm here!
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:57

08 Mar 2007, 11:11 #8

Hey, Bake -
Way to post and get some direct support and advice!
I've got these two suggestions:
1. Read all the articles and posts here A LOT - everyday - as much as you can...for some more days.
2. Make a 'mantra' that your smart Quit-brain can keep answering your Addict-brain with. Something like "it's normal not to smoke" or, perhaps, "never take another puff." This way, your Quit-brain doesn't have to expend a lot of energy dealing with addict-brain and can do it automatically. ...and maybe it is not your subconscious - maybe your subconscious finds it completely compelling to live healthier and with great comfort.
You are great!
9 days is great!
Just get to 10; then to 11, etc.
NTAP - Nancy - clean 53 days after 22 years not
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Joined: 18 Dec 2008, 23:58

08 Mar 2007, 11:15 #9

"A 39 year smoker"

Some of us had smoked for so long we couldn't even remember what life was like before cigarettes. We don't even know what "normal" means. Quitting is a huge adjustment in many ways. But it's all good stuff! You have everything to gain now. Don't allow the illogical mind set from your addiction to stand in your way. All you have to do is not take that first cigarette today.

One day at a time - pay close attention to that concept! I have been there and understand that gnawing feeling. In the early days of my quit others told me to hold on tight - and I am glad I did. It really does get better and there is total comfort ahead. And that is a promise!

Don't ever sell yourself short again, your life is worth any temporary challenges. What a beautiful gift you have given to yourself, protect it with your every fiber.

Congratulations!

Just for today, not one puff...no matter what.

Joanne
8+years free

" I'm different, I'll never be comfortable without nicotine "
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