Can we help a person quit when they are pretty sure they don't want to quit?

Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

May 3rd, 2002, 3:20 am #11

My wife, Tess, didn't really actively want to quit, but sort of wanted to. She didn't feel she needed to, because she was a light smoker. I emailed Joel, and we spoke by phone. The approach all came down to 2 things. Engaging in the discussion of whether or not it was doing harm at her low consumption levels, and the "give it a try" approach.

The whether or not discussion was simple when I applied reason. Her: "Well, I only smoke so many a day" Me: "And what good do those so many a day do you? Would you be better or worse off without the so many a day?" Etc. Essentially, there aren't any good reasons to smoke if you're honest about the discussion. As long as you shine the light of truth on the subject, tobacco always loses.

The "give it a try" approach had a couple of facets. One, it was a variation on the One Day at a Time approach. The other was as a part of the "am I addicted" discussion. Tess wasn't convinced that she was addicted. She wasn't sure that she wanted to quit. The response was (thanks Joel) to "give it a try". We settled on 2 weeks. "After that, you can do whatever you like. Just give it 2 weeks to see 1) if you suffer withdrawals and junky behavior and 2) if you like being free of them. At the end of the 2 weeks, it was clear that she WAS/IS addicted.... and also that she didn't want to go back to being a slave. In essence, the approach was a trap, and in that it was, 'twas an oxymoron. Trapped by freedom.

She's pushing bronzehood now, after not really wanting to quit in the first place... at least not with her heart and soul. She smoked for almost 30 years. Today she feels it's among the greatest things she's ever done for herself. Every couple of days she says it to me, "I'm SO glad I don't smoke any more."

Cheers, and thanks Joel,

Bob
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

May 24th, 2002, 5:52 am #12

I saw some members looking for information on how to help family members. The odds are everyone here has family members or friends who smoke who you may wish to help. The best thing that anyone can do is set the example that quitting smoking is possible and that there is life after smoking. I'll bring up some other posts on this issue but the way to prove to others that quitting is possible is just by showing them that you have been able to stick to your commitment to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

June 19th, 2002, 8:27 am #13

For Shauna
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:58 pm

July 6th, 2002, 3:49 am #14

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

July 19th, 2002, 10:51 am #15

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

August 3rd, 2002, 9:47 pm #16

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

September 16th, 2002, 3:30 am #17

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

September 26th, 2002, 7:49 am #18

For people afraid of being thrust into a social smoking environment, you should consider that you may actually have more powerful and positive influence on those still smoking than they will have tempting you. Show them that quitting is possible and staying smoker free is doable too as long as you remember to never take another puff!

Joel
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

September 28th, 2002, 7:30 am #19

For Rela
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

October 29th, 2002, 12:02 am #20

For Eeyore95
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

October 30th, 2002, 3:30 am #21

For PolyEsther
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

November 6th, 2002, 12:27 pm #22

For Roma
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

November 27th, 2002, 10:15 pm #23

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

December 13th, 2002, 6:03 am #24

It seems that we have a few members with family members who they are hoping to influence to quit smoking. I am bringing up a few articles to address this issue.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

December 14th, 2002, 11:34 pm #25

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

January 12th, 2003, 10:04 pm #26

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

January 28th, 2003, 2:14 am #27

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

February 20th, 2003, 6:30 am #28

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

March 15th, 2003, 6:56 am #29

I mentioned earlier today that I did a program for 600 high school freshman. I ran short on time, didn't even get to do the Palmolive Bottle Demo. I also did not get into quitting smoking, although I got a slide up to www.WhyQuit.Com so hopefully any student interested in quitting may find their way over to us. On Monday the teacher who brought me in to the school said that he would get an article into the school paper about www.whyquit.com. I hope that any students who were smokers may be motivated to check us out. I also suspect that students who are concerned about parents who smoke may be looking in and referring family members to us. This string seems particularly well suited for this purpose.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

April 27th, 2003, 9:54 pm #30

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

May 11th, 2003, 6:00 am #31

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

May 13th, 2003, 3:30 am #32

Today I did a program for 110 sixth graders. There were many questions both during and after the program from kids concerned about their parents smoking. One of the students father had just suffered a heart attack within the past few weeks and was in the process of quitting. I encouraged the group to refer their parents to www.whyquit.com as well as their siblings and other people they encounter.

I pointed out we try to cover issues at www.whyquit.com that are pertinent to people who smoke and want to quit, as well as providing materials for people who smoke and may still need a little extra motivation as to why they should quit, as well as for kids who do not smoke yet and want to reinforce their resolve to stay smoke free.

These kids are at the age where they are facing a huge amount of peer pressure to smoke and they need to have solid reasons if they are going to resist this kind of pressure. I am bringing up a few posts that are pertinent to them, and in the event that they do pass along the site to their parents and other adults, I am bringing up materials for these people also.

Joel
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

June 18th, 2003, 10:21 pm #33

One more way you may be able to help someone quit smoking is to email them a link to our new e-book at www.whyquit.com/joel/ntap.pdf.
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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

July 23rd, 2003, 9:32 pm #34

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Joined: December 18th, 2008, 11:57 pm

September 9th, 2003, 10:05 pm #35

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