My wife, Tess, didn't really actively want to quit, but sort of wanted to. She didn't feel she needed to, because she was a light smoker. I emailed Joel, and we spoke by phone. The approach all came down to 2 things. Engaging in the discussion of whether or not it was doing harm at her low consumption levels, and the "give it a try" approach.
The whether or not discussion was simple when I applied reason. Her: "Well, I only smoke so many a day" Me: "And what good do those so many a day do you? Would you be better or worse off without the so many a day?" Etc. Essentially, there aren't any good reasons to smoke if you're honest about the discussion. As long as you shine the light of truth on the subject, tobacco always loses.
The "give it a try" approach had a couple of facets. One, it was a variation on the One Day at a Time approach. The other was as a part of the "am I addicted" discussion. Tess wasn't convinced that she was addicted. She wasn't sure that she wanted to quit. The response was (thanks Joel) to "give it a try". We settled on 2 weeks. "After that, you can do whatever you like. Just give it 2 weeks to see 1) if you suffer withdrawals and junky behavior and 2) if you like being free of them. At the end of the 2 weeks, it was clear that she WAS/IS addicted.... and also that she didn't want to go back to being a slave. In essence, the approach was a trap, and in that it was, 'twas an oxymoron. Trapped by freedom.
She's pushing bronzehood now, after not really wanting to quit in the first place... at least not with her heart and soul. She smoked for almost 30 years. Today she feels it's among the greatest things she's ever done for herself. Every couple of days she says it to me, "I'm SO glad I don't smoke any more."
Cheers, and thanks Joel