Buddy Systems

FreedomNicotine
Joined: 06 Dec 2008, 16:58

01 May 2010, 14:34 #51

[font=GEORGIA, 'TIMES NEW ROMAN', TIMES, SERIF]From above:

There will be a natural tendency by people joining here today all at the same time to form internal support groups. This letter explains the pitfalls of "buddying up" with someone in the exact stage of quit as you are in yourself.

To be honest, there are a lot of boards out there for people looking for this kind of social support. We are different here, we want the longer-term quitters to be the teachers and the "newbies" to be benefit from their successful experiences. Don't be mistaken, you won't be newbies for long and we will actively want your support to help new members joining very soon. But for now, Newbies should spend more time learning than supporting others or teaching.

Again, your time for teaching will come. And you will find it a rewarding experience as well as a great reinforcement in keeping your resolve strong to stay smoke free. But for now the important issue is freeing yourself of nicotine. For that goal we offer you the Freedom Board and welcome you all.

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Joel Spitzer
Joined: 13 Nov 2008, 14:04

01 Jan 2011, 21:42 #52



I segmented a clip I shot for New Years 2011, creating this video discussing buddy systems. Sorry that it is a bit choppy but it covers the issues discussed in this string.
Last edited by Joel Spitzer on 01 Jan 2011, 21:45, edited 1 time in total.
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Joel Spitzer
Joined: 13 Nov 2008, 14:04

03 Jan 2011, 15:09 #53



New video discussing buddy systems in your real world as opposed to buddy systems here on the Freedom board.
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nessacoop
Joined: 07 Jan 2011, 09:34

08 Jan 2011, 11:41 #54

Thank you Joel for that video, I realized while watching it that I've always thought of smoking as my treat, my way of relaxing (after taking care of everyone else) Until I discovered this site I never knew - didn't want to know - how damaging smoking was. I ignored the Surgeon Generals warnings, my shortness of breath, sore throat, cough etc. Always made sure I had mints, perfume to disguise the fact that I smoked (I was so ashamed of my weakness) It's been a long time since smoking was acceptable behavior - anywhere, even in Europe! You made the point that one has to quit for oneself - & that is exactly why I decided to quit this time, I was sick of feeling inferior. I've done nothing to be ashamed of for five days, I know my breath/hair/clothes don't smell. I've been eating nothing but healthy food, I feel clean & virtuous. But - I couldn't do it without this site. This site is my buddy.
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FreedomNicotine
Joined: 06 Dec 2008, 16:58

08 Jan 2011, 14:54 #55

I am focusing on a theme today, quitting for yourself. This one letter is quite important. For our newer members, read all the responses, starting back at number 1 which is currently off the screen and needs to be accessed by clicking first. I am not sure everyone knows to do this with our longer threads, but generally if a thread is long it is because the topic warranted many responses and those responses are often as good if not better than the originial posts.
-Joel (from post #9 in this string)

Crutches to Quit Smoking
Post # 15 in that string:
Relying too heavily on anything, even Freedom itself can become a crutch. Don't see us as a crutch to quit, rather see us as a tool to help you understand what you have to do to keep your quit. You are the only important variable making or breaking your attempt. You will succeed forever as long as you always remember why you have chosen to never take another puff!

Joel
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